OrbfromHeaven

I write what lingers. fragments of a life, emotions that don’t always have a place to go. sometimes mine, sometimes yours, sometimes just stories that needed to exist.

[catchymemes]

MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE

[glimmeringtitanorb]

You are the sun, endlessly burning, endlessly wanting, speaking of hunger as if it were love.

And i, the moon. Spent so long believing that my purpose was to orbit you quietly, to survive on whatever light you were willing to leave behind. You always asked for more, more understand, more patience, more softness, more pieces of me i had not yet learned how to lose. And every time i gave them to you, you held them like ordinary things like ocean do with rain, receiving without ever looking up to thank the sky.

So i kept giving.

I dimmed myself gently, convinced that perhaps love was supposed to feel like surrender. I swallowed my pride in silence, lowered my voice, lowered my needs, lowered the aching parts of me just so your hands would finally choose to hold them. I begged for affection in ways no one should ever have to beg.

I waited for warmth like winter waits for spring, desperated, patient, humiliated by its own hope. And you know it.

You know i would stay through every eclipse, every cold night, every moment you looked at me as if my love was something guaranteed, something that would remain no matter how carelessly you handled it. The cruelest part was never you distance. It was how easily you accepted my desperation. You watched me reach for you with trembling hands, watched me trade pieces of my dignity for the smallest fragments of your attention, and still spoke as though i was the one asking for to much.

But then i looked around. And i saw moons loved without shrinking themself first. I saw hearts being held gently, without having to break open to prove they were worthy. I saw people recive tenderness without kneeling for it. And suddenly, the universe you built around me no longer felt like fate. It felt like starvation.

I realized i had spent so much time trying to become easier to love that i never stop to ask why your love required my disappearance. Because no celestial body should have to dim itself just to be noticed. No moon should have to beg the sun to act warm. And perhaps that is tragedy of us...you were so used to being worshipped that you never learned how to appreciated the things that revolved around you. While i love you so deeply that i mistook my own undoing for devotion.

[glimmeringtitanorb]

The moon has never hated the day the sun was born.

No matter how many nights were spend aching beneath his absence, she would still light the sky softly when his day arrived, still speak of him with warmth, still carry exitement in the quiet corners of her heart as if love had never wounded her before.

Because despite everything, she loved the way the world seemed brighter whenever the sun was happy. But somewhere between celebration and silence, the moon began thinking of her own birthday.

And suddenly, happiness no longer simple. She wondered what kind of sky would wait of her when that day came. Would she spend another year pretending not to be notice the shadow standing to close beside him?. Would she once again become the second thing he looked at, the quite thing left waiting while his warmth belonged elsewhere?.

She wondered if the fragile trust she had spent month stiching back together would split open all over again at the slightest reminder that she was never truly chosen with certainly. And perhaps the cruelest thought of all was not the fear of being hurt again, but the fear of what pain would turn her into.

Would she have to silence herself again just to keep the day peaceful?

Would she laugh softly through the ache, swallow every trembling feeling, resharp her heart into something smaller, camler, easier, just so she would not ruin the moment for him?

Would she once again become someone she could barely recognize, all for the sake of being love gently for a single day?

Because the moon was never afraid of loving the sun.

She was only afraid that every year she love him, she lost a little more of herself trying to survive it.

[glimmeringtitanorb]

You speak to me like the sun speaks to the moon, as if all my phases are my own doing. You tell me to reflect, to search through my darkness and find the reason i have become so distant, so cold, so difficult to hold.

But you never notice how long i have survived and borrowed light. Every silence in me was first born from you leaving, every storm you call "to much" was began with the gravity of your own hands.

Still, you rise each morning believing you are blameless asking the moon why she no longer glows without ever wondering what it feels like to only be seen when the sun decides to look.

[glimmeringtitanorb]

You arrive without a name,

Only a rhythm i have learned by heart.

I don't call you,

Yet you return,

Enthering pieces of me,

As if they were always yours.

I soften each time,

Forgetting the shape i once held,

Just to feel your linger,

A moment longer than before.

There is no language between us,

Only a quite undoing,

A pull,

A release,

A silence that follows.

And stil, i remain,

Scattered but waiting,

Knowing you never meant to stay,

Only to take what i keep offering,

Without knowing how to keep.