Gloria Martin

Aspiring Singer-Songwriter & Music Student

[gloriamartinmusic]

Mrs. Laura Branigan 💙

[gloriamartinmusic]

Class Reunion

Nope. I was purposefully excluded from activities I wanted to be apart of as a teenager and all I wanted at that stage in my life, from 15 to 18 years old, was to belong or feel identified to a group with similar aspirations. I felt like an outcast.

A former friend, told everyone I was going to file a restraining order on a guy friend because she saw the restraining order papers in my binder in class. Mind you these were given to me by the administrators at school. Where was I supposed to keep them? I eventually didn't because my mom told me not to and I too felt they were unnecessary. It was too late. The same week, that former friend told everyone in our group that I had filed a restraining order. I still had the blank papers. The guy friend eventually moved schools and I was blamed, that he left because of me. I was called a b*tch, a c*nt. I lost the friendship of the entire group. I became more reclusive and independent and didn't want to form new friendships bc i feared I would be pointed at.

In sophomore year, I called a girl a 'female dog' because I felt she only cared about people who had money from their parents. She'd talk more to the people who had cash on them and I didn't have any money and I would try to have a conversation with her but she didn't seem interested. I felt disrespected so i called her a female dog online. I always wanted to buy the snacks from the little store the school had, so I sat in front of it watching every one else buy the ice carbonated drinks. Calling her a 'female dog' (or in other words a 'b*tch) was enough for her to make everyone from the popular group, feel empathy for her and make them hate me.

The pretty girl from the 'popular group' with the most beautiful, curly hair, once mocked the way I presented an assignment in front of the class. I remembered my poem word for word so i didnt undertsand what her deal was. I felt good because English is my second language, I didn't stutter and didn't need a piece of paper to look at to remember what to say next. Guess what? The pretty girl; stuttered, used an index card in front of the class and apologized after every sentenced and shook nervously. I understood that. I understood her nervousness but I never understood her annoyance towards me. I wanted to call her out during class but I restrained myself the best I could and didn't say a word.

In one my favorite classes, which was choir, after the choir concert in the new gymnasium, a very tall dark haired guy kept getting infront of me to prevent me from helping tear the stage down. I was so eager to help and when my dad saw what was going on, annoyed, he told me to stop and leave so we could go home. He hated to see me be ignored by others.

I told the choir director, hey so this is what's going on. She said, along the words of 'you'd have to pay me to listen to you' (not word for word, but along the lines) I didn't feel like she believed me. I was heartbroken, I loved her so much, couldn't believe that she didn't believe me. I always wanted to do anything and everything for her and be there for her but I didn't know why, but the other kids were always with her so I felt my need to be there for her wasn't necessary.

Eventually, the ones who made me feel good in school were Angie, Alyssa and Elizabeth. I was never belittled for being too quirky and unpredictable with my words. They didn't exclude me. I felt like I had a connection, a coherent, human connection with them. They never made me feel crazy for loving Pokemon, for being into the Backstreet Boys, for moving theatrically. I could be myself with them. Unapologetically me. I will always respect and admire Delta because she never made any facial expressions towards me that would make me feel pushed away like a 'mean-mug' or annoyed look. I also loved her confidence, she stood on business since day one when I met her back then in choir. She was always herself and I've always loved and admired that about her.

Now, I'm 28 but reliving all of these memories is like digging up bones and the knot in my throat is heavy. I barely spoke with anyone else. I was afraid to talk. I was afraid of showing my true self to the rest. I was afraid of being myself. Just like I had mentioned above in a different situation, I don't find it necessary to be there and no one really needs to see me again. I don't think of myself as important. I only wish everyone from the class the best that life has to give.

For a school that campaigned so hard against bullying, they sure did a fantastic job at preventing it. If you made it to this point, thank you for reading and i hope that you never felt excluded. You matter and you will always matter to someone, either close or from far away.

However, I do feel confident now as an individual and I don't seek external validation from anyone else or a group of people. It was hard but I am still alive. High school is temporary but your character lasts forever.

[gloriamartinmusic]

Half way there

I am so done. I am tired of school. I don't wanna go back. This is it. After this, I am not going to follow the traditional American trajectory of going to college to find a 9 to 5 job. I am Mexican. I follow my heart and my dreams with my feet on the ground. What in the frequently asked questions am I doing?

After college, you bettah buhlieve I am going to entah the music industry. I just pursued the associates for personal satisfaction. I don't want any older American boomer or Gen Xer to tell me that I am not going to be mean absolutely anything for not going to college. Although, it does seem I did it for others, I initially wanted to finish college because my narcissistic father threatened to leave, go back to Mexico in late 2023 to claim a pension in Mexico, which I think, he doesn't deserve. He kept saying this for months, saying that when he would go back, he would live in the house we lived at prior to immigrating to the United States, but my older niece already lives there. Like bro, just find a hotel. On top of that I was working at Amazon, (still am), (still) taking care of my mom which would leave me to need to upgrade my life to earn better income so I can afford rent, utilities, etc so i don't depend on him. It's been difficult for a while, taking care of my mom; making sure she has eaten and the cats don't trip her, making sure my dad doesn't say dumb shit to provoke her and gaslight her and consequently make her mad.

After I began to pursue my associate's again, I stopped having dreams of where I was late for school, didn't turn in assignments on time, didn't graduate high school on time even though I did graduate high school. I don't know. Now, I am having dreams of needing to perform at restaurants, sing in bars, etc. It's time to live my dream of becoming an 80s superstar. I'm gonna challenge myself again.

#music #college #ihatecalculus #ihatezavala #associates

[gloriamartinmusic]

Fall 2024 Semester with Grief

The first semester of my final college year is almost over. I'm in my last class of the day, right now. I cried earlier in the day. Not because it is almost over and I was able pull through, but because the day I enrolled for this fall semester I found out that Rachael Lillis passed away and she means so much to me.

Rachael Lillis was an amazing, talented voice actress I grew up listening to on the show Pokemon. I fell in love with her voice. Goldeen stood out to me. I was learning English when I started watching Pokemon in English because I had grown up watching Pokemon in Mexico in spanish.

As a kid, I was captivated by the characters she voiced but I didn't know it was her because I didn't own a PC when I was 11 or 12 to do my research. I related to Jessie and Misty so much because of their fiery temperament. However, her passing hit so close to home, because I lost my older sister to Breast Cancer in 2021, she was 45.

It's been 4 months since her unfortunate passing and as a long-time fan of hers (I'm 28 now), her talent, her voice and how simply beautiful she was (because I was always amazed at her beauty and still am. I mean, Go watch "I Just Want to Eat My Sandwhich by Julia Radochia, she is a STAR. I am still mourning her but in silence.

I never had the chance to meet her in person but was able to send her tweets and she replied. She was so nice and so kind. I will always admire and appreciate her wherever she may be and I will always do my best to pay her tribute in my creative endeavors. To say "I love her" sounds vague but it is so much more than that. I would have given her my life, if possible but she took my heart with her and that's okay. Her voice brought me alot of comfort as a kid when i really needed it. As an adult, her voice is still my safe space.

On Aug. 6th, I sent her a tweet hoping she was feeling better.

On the night of the 10th, I remember watching Pokemon because I couldn't stop thinking about her.

On the 11th, I go to work and In my head i pray she's feeling better.

On the 12th, I'm enrolling for classes and I get a notification from X that Rachael passed on the 10th. I held my breath until I could find a seat. My stomach hurt. Held back the tears because I was in a public place. At that point, It was time to get a college ID so I made an excuse that I forgot something in my car, but I really ran to my car to cry. More like I went to sob. Took my time to let it all out. I go back in and my eyes are bloodshot red, the photographer must've thought I smoked something (given my age, but i don't smoke) but my face was really swollen. You can see it on my college ID.

Ever since, I haven't stopped crying myself to sleep over the fact that she didn't deserve that. She will always mean the world to me. Days after, I couldn't stop singing "If Only Tears Could Bring You Back" by Midnight Sons which is from Pokemon: The First Movie and "Flying Without Wings" by Westlife from the movie 2000. I've also seen license plates with 708 on them and on the clock. Sometimes AM or PM.

If you are a fan of Rachael Lillis' work, please continue sharing her work, your fan art, your favorite characters she voiced, favorite convention clips or memorable interactions. Keep her legacy alive. Rachael Lillis is most certainly still in everyone's hearts and forever.

(I'm sorry this was so long, but I'd give anything to turn back time.)

Thank you for your incredible and beautiful talent, Ms.Rachael 💙

[quotemadness]

Some people turn sad awfully young. No special reason, it seems, but they seem almost to be born that way. They bruise easier, tire faster, cry quicker, remember longer and, as I say, get sadder younger than anyone else in the world. I know, for I’m one of them.

Ray Bradbury

[gloriamartinmusic]

Zodiac Signs in general

(Check your sun sign [DOB] and/or ascendant/rising sign)

Aries: Very chill, impulsive in decision making, dislikes restrictions; whether in personal space, relationships/friendships, loves tomatoes and anything spicy, enjoys eating and being free, their vocal range is powerful, medium to large sized lips.

Taurus: Not agressive but forceful, has good taste in outfit picking and food dishes and everything else in aesthetic, dislikes people without common sense, loves material possesions, loves gifts, very nice voice or distinct tone of voice, does not learn at the pace of others, prefers their own rhythm of doing things, vocal range is second highest to that of Virgo, sensual lips and throat is prominent

Gemini: likes sparkly things, very vocal, can burn your ass with their word phrasing, likes to talk for hours, enjoys reading books, magazines and anything informative, likes to work or do something with their hands, needs mental stimulation instead of physical stimulation, adapts easily to immediate environment, hates being pinned down, has an instinct to detect bullshit, can easily deceive making it real, their vocal range is scattered, uncontrolled vibrato, hands/arms are prominent

Cancer: very sensitive people, likes to cook, they consider themselves chefs, LOVES music, full-round faces, talks about emotions, most likely to cry during sad or touching movie trailers, home is their secure base, attached or close to mother and women figures, soft but firm vocal range, chest is a prominent feature

Leo: Confident, leader in anything, hair and eyebrow are their prominent features, may have ‘Lion’ characteristics, very theatrical, loves to be praised and be the center of attention, other people are their ‘servants’, stands out immediately, strong vocal range

Virgo: very musical, loves analytical things, detail-oriented, very high vocal range, strives for perfection, fussy at home regarding cleaning, detective stuff is interesting, clean image, stomach is noticeable as their feature

Libra: wants to get along with others, since Libra and Taurus are both ruled by Venus, Libra too has a pleasing aesthetic, attractive, gives beauty to anything it touches, you can’t hate this sign no matter what they do ‘cause they do it well, anything fits this sign, dresses well, sexy but not vulgar, very artistic, likes fashion, makeup, needs a partner or wants to be with someone committed, face looks pleasing

Scorpio: magnetic personality, you hurt a scorpio and hell breaks loose and you get stung, powerful and demanding voice, prefers dark shades of color, sex is their thing, very passionate, demands the same attention it gives, penetrating stare, motherfucking sexy as f’, smells bullshit from a mile away, their sexual organs are a prominent feature

Sagittarius: ‘foot-in-the-mouth-disease, blunt, says things like they are, very nice legs or well-formed legs, likes to be physically and mentally stimulated to be happy, prominent smile, walks like a horse (or their walk is like a ‘trot’), red/orange, purple and other warm color hues are their thing, loves music, straightforward, very direct voice.

Capricorn - disciplined, endures good and bad shit, likes to stand out in public, fame is what they strive for, most likely to be in the public eye, there’s always something recognizable about the sign, thin appearance, the elderly are important to them, success is always sure for them, executive look, chiseled chins and knows what’s up, shins and knees are what they deal with the most

Aquarius: very fucking original, a feature always stands out, eccentric, electric, very strong personality, visionary, sets trends in anything you can think of, musical prodigy, technology is their thing, needs mental stimulation, intellectual, calf (leg) are their noticeable body part

Pisces: a very sensitive snowflake, is liked by everyone, green/blue colors fit them, ‘mermaid’ look, breathes music, any look fits them due to their ability to fit like water in a cup, extremely musical, possesses all the qualities from the rest of the zodiac signs since it’s the last sign, silky hair, well-shaped feet, big eyes

[tokillabookworm]

And I don’t care if I sing off key I find myself in my melodies I sing for love, I sing for me I shout it out like a bird set free

Sia - Bird Set Free (via tokillabookworm)

[gloriamartinmusic]

Retail probs

I didnt know following my company's policies would make people's assholes flinch.

[gloriamartinmusic]

That moment when you buy Valentine's cards and they're all for you.

[caelestiaa]

What am i a goddess of? :O My Sun is Sagittarius 9th house, Moon in Gemini 4th house, and Ascendant in Pisces. :D

Goddess of Travel 

[gloriamartinmusic]

Thank you so much!

[zodiacmadness]

Sagittarius: A Sagittarius is always that one friend causing trouble for the thrill.

Sagittarius (via zodiacmadness)

[wordsnquotes]

Too much of me was lost in the vision of what somebody else wanted me to be.

William Chapman (via wordsnquotes)

[choirthings]

#25: Choir is like a cult, Once you’re in, it is nearly impossible to get out

Submission

This is so incredibly true!

[modernamelia-deactivated2017100]

Reblog if u appreciate altos. And I don’t mean “reblog if you recognize that sopranos would sound pitchy if altos weren’t there to sing harmonies.” I mean reblog if you appreciate girls who can get bassy, who can’t play Christine, who constantly have to take it a fifth or an octave lower so as not to damage their vocal chords. Reblog if u would listen to a solo from a girl with a medium voice, who can’t go particularly low but can’t go particularly high, instead rocking those middle ranges. Reblog if you wanna tell all the altos out there who have struggled with confidence bc they just wanna sing higher, just wanna get solos and melodies for once, just wanna be as appreciated as sopranos, that they are beautiful singers with beautiful medium low voices who are beautiful and valid and worthy of attention.

[gloriamartinmusic]

I LOVE YOU. THIS SUMS UP WHAT I FEEL IM AN ALTO 2 AND I THINK I SING LIKE A MAN. 😅😁❤ MUCH LOVE TO YOU!!

[wordsnquotes]

The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself.

Maya Angelou  (via wordsnquotes)

Preach mama! Preach!

[wnq-writers]

The sun doesn’t seem that bright now that I’ve seen your soul

sunfriedawesomefandoms (via wnq-writers)

Then you become blind out of love due to the fact that the soul is so bright!

[quotemadness]

I am more sensitive than other people. Things that other people would not notice awaken a distinct echo in me, and in such moments of lucidity, when I look at myself, I see that I am alone, all alone, all alone.

Henri Barbusse (via quotemadness)