The Stages
He’ll come back
He did already
Twice before
He needs me
I need him
I’m not me without him
I’m mad at myself
For staying
For taking him back
For not loving myself enough
To walk away
To say no
I’m mad I ignored the signs
He couldn’t even tell me
He loved me
After 3 years
3 fucking years
If I’m a good person
Maybe he’ll come back
If I become confident and strong
Maybe he’ll come back
If I show him I don’t need him
Maybe he’ll come back
Why couldn’t I be what he wanted
What he needed
What he craved
What he desired
What is wrong with me
Maybe I won’t be good enough for anyone
Not that I want anyone
But him
Even though I’m not even a thought in his mind
I don’t exist to him anymore
I went from everything
To nothing
I deserve more
Intimate nights
Not nights spent alone,
nauseous and restless
Meaningful conversations
Not months of silence
Tears of laughter
Not tears of rejection
I deserve love
Not abuse