so this has been on my mind for a little now actually. i thought i would get over it but i can’t. i try and i try and i try but i can’t. i don’t know if it’s my mental illnesses that are causing it or what but … i’m always feeling really discouraged when i log on here. always. i don’t feel like i belong or that i’m wanted and that i’m just another blog taking up space on dashes. everyone i’m following and everyone that i made friends with always seem to be doing bigger and better than me and that i’m stuck in this one place and i can’t move forward.
i feel isolated, lonely and it’s only when i come onto archie’s tumblr. so i think, as much as this pains me, i think that i need to either a.) delete archie and never come back or b.) log out and never come back. either way, it’s the never coming back that’s going to be coming true. i can’t do it. i won’t do it. i won’t force myself on here if i feel like i’m unwanted. it isn’t healthy. i may come back, yes, but not for an extended period of time. not for a week, nor a month, maybe even a year. i do absolutely love writing archie, i adore writing him because he’s a character i get muse for rather easily but i can’t write him on this account, on tumblr. and i shouldn’t feel like i have to, that i’d be letting everyone down if i don’t do replies or i don’t post ask replies.
now this isn’t a pity party for me. oh boo-hoo loey’s feelings are hurt. wah. wah. it’s not like that. i’m not writing this up for attention to come flock to me. i actually don’t like getting attention when i post something like this. it’s more cathartic than anything else. getting my feelings and words and thoughts that have been running throughout my head the past week. this is such a mess and i’m sorry. i understand if i lose followers because of this because as of right now, this blog will be under a full hiatus / abandonment until further notice.
thanks. di/scord is available to mutuals if you want it.
