Goat Dude

[praypanic]

i love u chronically online 53 year old man

[importantcatpics]

[drtanner]

The whole photo is gold but I especially like that the automated feeder is taped to the fucking floor.

[onlytiktoks]

[piedude]

[treecitysessions]

[birdsimulator]

[marlynnofmany]

She also asked for a kitten (RIP "All Ball" the Manx).

And she asked my high school science teacher if he wanted to race her, then when he agreed, she played a prank on him. He ran for the other side of the room, giving it his all, then when he got there, he turned to see she hadn't moved -- she was standing there signing laughter at him.

Even if a question was phrased as a suggestion, that doesn't mean a lack of curiosity. Or mischievousness, as it turns out.

(I'm told she once ripped a sink out of the wall and blamed it on the cat.)

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

every now and then the neighbour's kid, who knows he'll get in trouble if he climbs in his dad's car and just leans on the horn, decides it's worth the consequences and treats himself. and that's real

[soapydoll]

Did I ever talk abt the time i was at a bdsm club and one of the pups was on all fours and barking and being cute and the dom on scene was like “hi puppy! Do you do any tricks?” And he said “I can beatbox!”

[soapydoll]

I was like. Doubled over incapacitated laughing the entire time. He was really good and a big sweetheart and I felt kinda bad but I couldn’t stop thinking “why the am I getting the beatboxing puppy unskippable cutscene at the bdsm club”

[3000s]

[3000s]

help... no you're thinking of breaking bad

[3000s]

Breaking Things

[dogpuppy]

[treecitysessions]

[human-pet-they]

I feel like the third person on here way way too often

[rainphee]

this is the only time google's stupid ai has ever made my life better in any capacity

[sewerfight-deactivated20250114]

my friend was testing perfumes out at the store and she sniffed a bottle and anounced "ngl this bitch kind of sucks" The girl at the counter suddenly looked really sad, and my friend was like "I'm sorry, I wasn't talking about you." And the girl looked up and said "No don't worry, I didn't think that, but I just crushed a ladybug with my shoe" We both took a peak over the counter. she'd stepped on a red m&m

[coughloop]

it doesnt get better than this

[hazelsmazecave]

?

[rpfmutual]

[were--ralph]

vampire fuckers are weird like y'all are like "i want my blood drained" and baby girl its just gonna make you sluggish and tired. that is not fun for anyone involved

[anteroom-of-death]

As a passionate vampire fucker, that's part of the thrill. I'm so tired and weak, just perfect for being taken advantage of.

[were--ralph]

and you guys called me weird for fucking a pineapple

[handsomeboymodelingschool]

I keep thinking about this at work and making myself sick trying not to laugh

[segamascott]