im a goblin dipthotocus

[gobernagus]

I mentioned to a zoomer that there was an artist named Art Garfunkel and they thought I was joking.

[were--ralph]

they slayed

[gobernagus]

You and pineapples huh

[gobernagus]

Ophelia? I barely know ya!!

[cheaphalloweencostume]

christian influencers are just fucking with me now im pretty sure

[cheaphalloweencostume]

i could have predicted this

[gobernagus]

Jesus didnt know shit about spagetty

[gobernagus]

I think I may be a foot pervert I’m just not that horny

[foxsnails]

I absolutely love Night Herons and whatevers wrong with them <3

More fun with the water-soluable pastels!

[gobernagus]

Reddit told me this is a yellow crowned night heron.

[pukicho]

There’s a large vehicle that occasionally drives past my house that just makes noise. I honestly think it was designed to make noise and do nothing else.

[beanssssssssss56]

So the vehicle version of you?

[pukicho]

I am not as big

[internaleggplant]

Bro is petite

[pukicho]

I am not 4 tons

[gobernagus]

Not yet ma peche

[gobernagus]

anyone want a foot massage?

[gobernagus]

Tumblr why are you trying to sell me a confederate flag I am not even in or from Mississippi

[gobernagus]

DID SOMEBODY SAY HENTAIVIRUS?!?!!!??!!!

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

You read stories about people being unable to accept ageing and crashing out by buying sports cars or pushing themselves too far athletically or whatever but my Refusal To Accept Ageing sticking point is that I just can't accept that I don't like sugar and junk food very much any more. I ate two chocolate muffins this morning and that was 1.75 muffins too many. I'm like "nooo I love sweet desserts I remember being super into sweet desserts" and the memories are from when I was like twelve. I like chicken salad now. I like carrot sticks. I eat carrot sticks and think "wow I'm really indulging today, carrots are one of the more sugary vegetables" and remind myself to make cucumber sticks next time. I bought a capsicum yesterday so that tonight I can eat plain white rice with charred capsicum and onion as a topping and I am genuinely looking forward to it. I MIGHT, if I am feeling adventurous, add a fresh tomato from the garden.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#derin im sorry but you are so british

Never ever call me British again

[behindnightmaresanddreams]

"you're so British" might as well be a slur in this context... also, as if a brit could handle eating One (1) capsicum of any variety.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

They're kicking me when I'm down :( Already mourning the loss of my sweet tooth and now they're calling me a pom :( :(

[godmybackhurts]

"Capsicum" YOU MEAN A FUCKING PEPPER????

[godmybackhurts]

Through this I have learned that bell peppers are sometimes called mangos in the Midwest and I no longer care about you referring to them as the genus name because this is so much worse

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

MANGOS??? THOSE ARE A DIFFERENT THING.

[heartsmourne]

i'm from the midwest- indiana/kentucky border, specifically- and i have never fucking heard a bell pepper/capsicum called a fucking mango. a mango is a sweet and delightful red and green-skinned fruit with a moist and golden interior. a bell pepper is a fucking bell pepper. whoever is calling them mangoes needs to be stopped

[htaed-reverof]

also midwestern, i think someone lied on the internet for fun again, cause I've never fucking heard someone confuse those two plants before wtf

[gobernagus]

This is me but with greasy fast food. I am never happy after I eat a spicy chicken sandwich from Popeyes but I keep ordering them.

[not-lupus]

he's quoting hamilton pre-hamilton

[loumandivorce]

devestating news for you

[malcolm-f-tucker]

[gobernagus]

He’s mis-quoting 50 cent.

[gobernagus]

If I am not talking to you just know it is not because I don’t want to talk to you it’s mostly because a vast majority of the thoughts I have are not worthy of communication.

[rinsknifetbd-deactivated2018061]

Girls with thick thighs

Pros:  Extra squishy Super great pillow Looking really good in skirts,dresses, shorts etc. They.Jiggle. Soft Could crush a watermelon literally anything else

Cons: None. They’re perfect

[gobernagus]

It doesn’t even seem like it’s about the money at this point the oligarchs are fine with losing money they just don’t want any of it to go to making people’s lives better. They’ll spend 100 million dollars fighting against safety regulations that would cost half that to implement because they MUST be able to endanger their employees. They’ll lay off thousands of people to save on payroll and lose it all gambling on VC. Why try to make a good airplane when you can make a bad one. You’ll lose more in the recall than you could have ever saved by cutting those corners but you get to kill a few passengers and whistle blowers along the way. Losing money is fine it’s paying people that’s the problem.

[spin-the-wheel-polls]

You can only drink the drink you get from this wheel for a month!

https://wheelofnames.com/uh3-8jf

how're you feeling?

Great!

okay, I could do it

okay, I couldn't do it

dead

horrible

im allergic/intolerant

Results

Voting ended onApr 9

[sistersorrow]

You can just kill me now, please and thank you

[gobernagus]

If I’m allowed to desalinate the ocean water I will be fine but boiling gallons of water a day will be annoying.

[orteil42]

tfw no gf

[orteil42]

this is from 2014 why the fuck did i make this. i completely forgot. is anything real

[orteil42]