The mind is a dangerous place

@gobletstar

RP blog of Rasmus Aage

35 posts

oldemptyhouses-deactivated20140

It was almost amusing, how many things Rasmus had managed to collect in the last.. maybe ten or twelve hours of their being apart. The assortments of food and, oh so many sweets that Billy wasn’t even sure he could name half of. He wrapped his arms around Rasmus after the short kiss and, smiled up at him. And it was in that moment that he suddenly felt pity for anyone on this campus. For, anyone that he had ever met, really. A tinge of sadness for them, because they would never be able to experience this feeling and, this moment. They would never experience the joy and warmth that was the tall jovial ravenclaw.

“Honestly, Ras… we could be eating berries off a bush and I would remember it. I’m with you after all, aren’t I?” It always came as a mild shock when Billy had these sort of epiphanies. Realizing that.. it was true. No matter what they did, he would always be happy and he would always remember every second of it. Because it was with Rasmus. The thought only made his smile widen as he pulled out of the embrace and, took his boyfriends hand in his again. “Shall we?” He asked as he, tugged on the hand and stepped into the bubble that he, honestly had no idea was there.

Surprise registered on his face as he looked around, the air around them almost as calm and pleasant as a spring morning. That was.. really nice. He flexed the fingers in his free hand and smiled. “At least we won’t freeze to death. This is really amazing Rasmus I’ll be honest I wasn’t expecting this much.. it’s crazy. Thank you for.. going to all this trouble.”

It really warmed his heart at those words. More than the kiss had done so, because he could sense the honesty in Billy's voice. And then he realized that he could say the same thing about his boyfriend, it didn't matter what they were doing as long as Rasmus could have Billy by his side. The Ravenclaw gave his boyfriend an affectionately kiss on the jaw before separating himself from the other while giving him a soft caress on the dip of Billy's back.

Rasmus smiled at Billy's reaction, it truly made his heart flutter and gave him the biggest smile possibly to see the other happy. Grabbing the other's hand he smiled and kissed it softly "I wanted everything to be as perfect as possible, this is after all our first legit date officially as boyfriends." He knelt down, pulling the picnic basket and looking for some napkins. Rasmus handed a paper plate to Billy, remembering to save all the plates they didn't use for later. Maybe they could do a picnic every week...

"Eat whatever you like," he pushed the food towards Bills as he eyes what Billy had made for him hungrily. In truth he had wanted to try it at the common room but he wanted also to share it with his boyfriend so he resisted temptation. He wondered when would be a good time to ask, maybe he should wait until Billy had finished eating...after all...Billy's needs came before his and it's not like he didn't mind watching his gorgeous boyfriend stuffing his mouth and those rosy cheeks puff with delight.

FOREVER BILLS

HELLO?!!? is it ME you’re looking for??

oldemptyhouses-deactivated20140

Billy had come fully prepared to freeze half to death. He loved winter, but he could always have done without the blistering cold that nipped you to the very core. Always leaving you hanging onto that lest shred of warmth or, thinking about sitting at home with a cup of cocoa in your hands, the hearth alight with a blazing fire. Damn it. He shivered, shoving his hands into his coat pockets and looking around the grounds. He was sure he was heading in the right direction. It wasn’t as if he’d never been to the place that Rasmus had picked out before, but being so distracted by the thought of curling up against something warm was just.. too good.

It didn’t take him too long, however, to find himself where he needed to be. Yes that was definitely Rasmus. He smiled despite his gut clenching at his little awkward encounter the night before outside the other common room. It wasn’t that bad you idiot.. Billy told himself as he approached the area, the smile only growing as he did so.

The footsteps snapped him from his own musings. Grinning at his boyfriend as he stepped out of the invisible bubble. Billy had that red nose he would only get in winter time and for a moment he hoped that winter would never leave if he could watch that face forever. Rasmus grabbed the other boy's hand, pulling him for a short but sweet kiss.

"Welcome to our first date, Bills." He wanted to make this as memorable as possible so he had tried to get as many sweets from the kitchen as possible...along with some sandwiches and pumpkin juice. Looking at it now, it looked like a small convenience store under the heat bubble. "Hope you're ready to eat, I got some food for it. I'll make this a day to remember for you."

oldemptyhouses-deactivated20140

The paper wasn’t the only thing making noises; though Billy’s might not have been nearly as much in protest as they were surprised and slightly encouraging. No—yep that was definitely a tender spot. Stupid neck. That was just embarrassing. Everything he was doing was just embarrassing right now.. Billy pressed his face into Rasmus’ chest, trying to hide his embarrassment because why the hell would he do that? He couldn’t even have passed that off as a grunt.

“I’m going to just go back to my room now then.” He mumbled against the jacket he was burying his face in. Whatever the hell was under there was still just giving it. And then he just couldn’t help but let out a small laugh as it crinkled against them. Billy knew he should just let go of the older boy and run back to his dorm, let Rasmus fuss over this crinkly paper.. But it was always so hard to just let go. Especially with the rubbing of his sides and the fact that when he pulled away he’d have to show his face after that little fiasco. Of course he wasn’t even sure if it had been heard over the sound of Rasmus’ voice but that was besides the point.

Never the less, he let go and, again, stood on his tip toes to press another small kiss to the Ravenclaw’s lips before taking a few steps back and smiling almost thoughtfully at him. “I’ll see you tomorrow then. I um.. I love you!” Now that he hadn’t meant to come out. Quickly, he covered his mouth and without another word, took off running in the opposite direction. Heading back down the stairs towards his dorm.

He’d meant to say goodnight.

It was cold, but after all it was winter. Rasmus had been outside wondering how the hell they going to be able to have a picnic while freezing outside. It took him three hours but he was in Ravenclaw after all, so with his gears grinding he actually found a way to do a heating charm around the picnic section. it stopped below the blanket so they could still sit on the snow but not freeze. He hummed happily as he stared at the package in front of him, hopefully Billy would like it, he himself liked it a lot.

oldemptyhouses-deactivated20140

Was he really pouting? His eyes darted to the side as he lifted a hand to cover his lips, touching them lightly with his finger tips to make sure he wasn’t stuck in an eternal pout or something. Oh gosh that would be a little embarrassing. Of course it took a moment for what Rasmus said to really sink in for Billy, and when it did he only burned a little brighter. He nodded in response though, feeling like the ravenclaw must be a mind reader because well, hadn’t he just been thinking that? Or something along those lines at the very least.

“I was kind of just thinking the same thing to be honest.” He smiled a little as he confessed his thoughts aloud. It was odd, sometimes, he thought, how in tune Rasmus seemed to be with him when they were together. Billy was’t sure if this was a fluke or just meant to be. For all he knew it had nothing to do with the fact that he’d been followed around for quite some time now. In only the most loving way, of course.

He nibbled his lower lip for a moment as he thought before putting his hand on his boyfriends shoulder and pushed himself up onto his tip toes. Pressing a small kiss to Rasmus’ lips. He didn’t think he would ever get used to that. The tingle that ran from the bottom of his feet to the crown of his head. Little tendrils spreading out to attack his heart, lungs and stomach with butterflies and quivering shakes. Not to mention the heat, even from such a small kiss. He ignored the crinkle that came from underneath the other mans jacket as he awkwardly tried to embrace him around the lump.

“No, really, I don’t want to know what you’re hiding under there. But it’s getting in the way, you really should have hidden it in a better spot.” Billy again, pouted slightly before pulling away. “But uhm.. I’ll see you tomorrow then? Don’t forget..” It would be their first real date since Rasmus had asked him out to the ball. And if he was honest, he’d never been more excited.

The kiss was a pleasant surprise, he didn't mind initiating most of the time but it was nice when Billy did it. It made him feel he wasn't in a one sided love. He leaned in, getting a bit bold and trailing kisses down Billy's neck lovingly. The paper made another noise, as if to protest against being smashed between two people.

"There was no better spot, Bills. You caught me red handed, couldn't hide it anywhere." he kissed the boy's jaw next. His kisses still soft and tender. "I'll give it to you tomorrow at our romantic picnic in the snow"

He laughed and grabbed the Hufflepuff's waist, rubbing at the sides soothingly. God why did Billy had to look so good today? His cheeks were extra rosy today which made Rasmus just want to eat him up. It should be illegal to be this adorable. How was he suppose to sleep tonight when he knew that pretty face was his boyfriend? He didn't think he could contain his excitement. The boy was the whole package...and he was still on cloud 9 thinking over the fact that he had accepted Rasmus' declaration.

oldemptyhouses-deactivated20140

Billy couldn’t help but squeak a little at the kiss, to be honest he hadn’t really been expecting it with his own thoughts transpiring that Rasmus had been dating more than just him. Now that he thought back on it though as he locked lips with the other boy, pressing back as much as he could, it was really a horrible and stupid thing to assume. Of course it had been a joke, in fact he was sure he’d heard his dad say that to his mum when he came back from the office late with flowers sometimes. Idiot. When they broke apart, he had a bit of a goofy smile on his face. Lifting one of his hands from the box to tuck a few hairs behind his ear he looked up at Rasmus.

What was he doing again? Oh right.

“I uhm.. it’s not really anything big or.. fancy or anything I didn’t have any money or time to go to town to get anything so I.. made this.. for you I mean. For.. Christmas and. Well now that I think about it it’s a horrible gift and I don’t even know if you’ll like it—I should probably just take it back and try something else but I..” Spent a good portion of the day on it. Both in thinking and it baking. Augh wow this was embarrassing.

He fidgeted with the poorly tied ribbon on the box and shoved it forward for Rasmus to take with his cheeks burning, before he changed his mind and threw it away. It was late though, he should probably go back to his dorm and, see if Rasmus would maybe want to see him tomorrow afternoon. For lunch, or something like that.. yes that would be nice. Like a.. date.

Rasmus laughed at the little rambling that his boyfriend had just gone on. To be honest he found it adorable when he would get all nervous and start going on about things but he wish he knew Rasmus enough to know that anything that Billy's hands touched, was a treasure for the older boy. He took the box, with a grin on his face at seeing the boy's cheeks burn so red.

"You made this for me? What did I do to deserve such a gift?" his grin widened as he moved closer to Billy and kissed his forehead. "How about we go to a picnic tomorrow, and then we can share this amazing treat you made for me. I wouldn't mind feeding it to those pouty lips..."

He looked at Billy through half lidded eyes, completely forgotten about his gift. Completely focused on Billy and Billy alone.

donovenenderpm-blog

Razilly

oldemptyhouses-deactivated20140

(( NO SHAME. casual reblog ))

#jfklsjfdskljfdslkjfklds

oldemptyhouses-deactivated20140

No doubt that Billy had heard a noise, and it had knocked him off his thought process, but he’d had no idea it was Rasmus until he came around the corner whistling an almost awkward tune and looking a lot… plumper and pointier than usual. Billy quirked a brow after a kiss that, as always, made his heart skip a beat. His hands tightened on the box in his hands as he looked at his boyfriend. “What do you mean favourite? Does that mean you have more than one?”

He forgot the confusion he’d had about the sounds emanating from the other boys hoodie and replaced it with mild contempt. What the heck did that mean? He pouted slightly, pulling the box away and tucking it behind his back. Well that was rude, why would he ask him out if he already had a boyfriend? He took a few steps back and smiled anyway. Might not be very convincing but it was still a smile.

“I’m sorry I didn’t know. I can just come back later it’s not a big.. deal or anything.”

Rasmus frowned as he heard Billy's question and the point of disappointment in his voice. Could he seriously not understand that he was everything to Rasmus? "Oi, oi! I was kidding, Bills! Of course you're the only one, don't be ridiculous. Why would I have anyone else when I have someone as amazing as you? Hm?" He leaned closer to Billy, tilting his chin so he could kiss those lips again, this time he took longer than before...he wanted to remember the taste in case he got busy with holiday homework and couldn't see him later today.

"I'm just curious as to why you were looking for me," he glanced behind Billy to the package he was holding "it's unusual for you to be wandering the halls this late, even for christmas holiday hours..." Not that he had followed Billy around to find out his habits....okay maybe he had.

He wish he didn't have that damn package in his stomach, he wanted to pull Bills against him but that seemed like a bad idea, he would ask questions then. Better keep it as a secret until the package was nicely wrapped...or at least that was Rasmus plan from the start.

The boy smiled as he passed by a group of Ravenclaws singing Oh christmas three in a rowdy voice. Ah yes Christmas, this would be the first time that he wouldn’t be going home. It had fallen perfectly into his hands, the chance to spend it with Billy since his parents were going to Norway to visit family. For once his dad didn’t seem too opposed to the idea of him not going, he didn’t know why but regardless was glad. Rasmus would have to send them both a gift from Hogsmeade.

Speaking of Hogsmeade, he smiled as he clutched the wrapped box to his chest. He had just found…the perfect gift for billy. Well at least he hoped it would be, but you didn’t go around stalking someone for years and not find out things about them. All he wanted to do was get to his dorm room so he could maybe make the packing even more elaborate, maybe with a little card? Written with lots of words that could convey love and admiration.

Yes he really wanted to do that. He couldn’t wait to see the smile on Billy’s face when he opened it. That smile that always made him swoon, perfectly white teeth and how his cheeks would puff at surprises. He loved surprising him, and eventhough they had just been together for a short while, he felt like he had known Billy his entire life…and had been waiting for the moment when they could be together.

oldemptyhouses-deactivated20140

His idea had been a simple one, after he’d managed to come up with it of course. Being a hufflepuff had it’s perks sometimes, and one of those perks was being next to the kitchen. After swindling his way into said kitchens, he’d managed to convince the elves that worked there, to assist him with his little plan. Now, he was back outside a good fifteen minutes later with a small white box in his hands. He smiled down at it, fingers deftly tying a small bow around the corners as best as they could—it was hard to walk and do this at the same time however so, the outcome wasn’t the best. He supposed it would do though.

Thinking back to home, he couldn’t help but smile again. Billy remembered coming home to food always cooking, ever since he was a little boy. It was his mothers favourite thing to do, cook, and write about it. Hundreds and hundreds of recipes for any and every occasion. His personal favourite had been the baked goods. The cakes, cookies and pies among many other sweet treats had been nothing but beauty to him. Billy remembered staying up late decorating cakes and baking with his mother; buns for the morning breakfast and of course, cookies, for elevensies. He figured it was time he put his secret skill to the test. Thanks to the elves of course. The small box in his hands held a simple, small cake with a flower similar to the one that Rasmus had been wearing, and by extension the one that he’d been wearing the night they’d come together. Cheesy, maybe. Stupid, yes. But it worked for him, it was a part of him.. besides he figured if he made it it might mean more to Rasmus.

But where was he hiding at? He’d checked the library, the great hall, and a few scattered classrooms. Maybe the quiddich pitch? That might be a good bet, even if he didn’t play anymore. First came first though, he would check the other boys common room. However the closer he got to the rooms, the more nervous he became. What if he didn’t like it? What if he didn’t even like sweets? Oh wow he was an idiot just presuming that Rasmus would enjoy something like that. Before he knew it, he was standing outside of the painting with a slightly red face as he thought of how dumb this was, staring down at the box in his hands as he contemplated throwing it away and just blabbering about how he couldn’t think of anything.

That was an option still.. right?

Singing a happy ballad to himself he rounded the corner. He stopped in his tracks, in front of the portrait was Billy. Shit shit, he wasn't suppose to see his present yet and the bag was see through. Rasmus jumped behind a wall fast as Billy snapped his head to the side. Crap he probably had heard his voice...where could he hide the bag...Quickly he pulled the hoodie of his zipper down, pushing the bag inside and zipping the hoodie back up. Great now he looked like a pregnant...guy?

He rounded the corner, trying to look as normal as possible though his whistling sounded a little too rehearsed he though "Hey Bills, hows my favorite boyfriend?" He leaned down and kissed him softly on the lips, he wondered why Billy was here at all. "Did you need something from me Bills?"

Rasmus readjusted the bag inside him, making a weird crumple sound of cellophane. God he really hoped that Billy wouldn't ask about it but he was staring at Rasmus stomach too and his mouth was open in confusion as if he was trying to ask a question. Those perfect penciled eyebrows were making the cutest frown and for a second he made a mental note to confuse Billy more often if he got to make that face in return.

Genderbend Rasmus

oldemptyhouses-deactivated20140

Christmas time at Hogwarts.. It was a time of year that Billy really cherished and appreciated. He might not be at home with his family, but that was okay. He still got letters, and a gift or two from his mother at home. It was nice, and not to mention the smells. Cinnamon, apple spice and pumpkin. Peppermint too, if you took in a deep enough inhalation. The food was always fantastic too, top notch around this time of year, even for a week or so afterwards. But that wasn’t the point. Not the food, not the gifts, none of that. What was the point, to Billy at least, was that this year, even afterwards.. he would get to spend it with someone he loved.

He gave a quick sigh as he headed down the halls, shoes clicking against the stones as he walked around the corner. He was headed somewhere, had a purpose he knew he did. Just wasn’t sure what it was yet. He wanted to give Rasmus a gift, something special, but he wasn’t sure what. Or… how. It felt like only yesterday, really, that he’d been standing in the court yard in the middle of the night. When Rasmus had asked him to be his. His, yes.. boyfriends. Together.

He smiled, tucking his face into his scarf as he spun around another corner. Maybe he should try going to hogsmeade.. sometime. He might be able to find something there, right? But what would he even like? God this was stupidly hard, they’d been friends for years, and he still couldn’t think of anything that the ravenclaw would want for christmas.

He couldn’t just cop out. That would be too easy. He also couldn’t wander the halls without a purpose for his entire life. Oh lord, Merlin help him.. Billy was going down.　

The boy smiled as he passed by a group of Ravenclaws singing Oh christmas three in a rowdy voice. Ah yes Christmas, this would be the first time that he wouldn't be going home. It had fallen perfectly into his hands, the chance to spend it with Billy since his parents were going to Norway to visit family. For once his dad didn't seem too opposed to the idea of him not going, he didn't know why but regardless was glad. Rasmus would have to send them both a gift from Hogsmeade.

Speaking of Hogsmeade, he smiled as he clutched the wrapped box to his chest. He had just found...the perfect gift for billy. Well at least he hoped it would be, but you didn't go around stalking someone for years and not find out things about them. All he wanted to do was get to his dorm room so he could maybe make the packing even more elaborate, maybe with a little card? Written with lots of words that could convey love and admiration.

Yes he really wanted to do that. He couldn't wait to see the smile on Billy's face when he opened it. That smile that always made him swoon, perfectly white teeth and how his cheeks would puff at surprises. He loved surprising him, and eventhough they had just been together for a short while, he felt like he had known Billy his entire life...and had been waiting for the moment when they could be together.

Night of the Ball

oldemptyhouses-deactivated20140

Billy listened as Rasmus spoke to him, his heart jumping further into his throat with every word and, every promise half uttered. This wasn’t pity, at all. If anything he was taking pity on himself—feeling sorry for himself. Something that he didn’t exactly enjoy doing. He shook his head, gnawing on the inside of his cheek and then, at his lip before hanging his head. “That isn’t what I meant at all. I’m just afraid we’ll part ways this year and…” And you’ll never come back. His eyes drifted out into the courtyard. Winter was his favourite time of year… this was his favourite place in the school and he was in the clutches of who had to be his favourite person. He was sure that Rasmus knew all of this, why else would he have brought him out here to confess his feelings and throw Billy through a loop?

Pulling away completely, he pushed himself up and off the bench, leaving Rasmus to stare after him as he walked a few steps forward. For a brief moment, he smiled and pulled the jacket over his shoulders instead of simply holding it. It was big on him, much bigger than he’d expected, and if he’d thought that his own shirt and vest had been loose on his shoulders, well this was a whole other story. The arms were far too long, the hem reaching his thighs instead of snug against his hips like it had been on Rasmus. Billy pirouette’d, turning on his feet before walking back to the bench and holding out his hand for the other to take, the smile wide on his face.

“I guess what I meant to say was.. please don’t leave.” He wanted the Ravenclaw to take his hand, to hug him and hold him against his chest again. To kiss his head and… him. To tell him that he would always come back. He yearned for them to dance their way through life together, to sing songs and drink cocoa by the fire on cold nights just like this one. To sleep safe and sound at night—to be happy. “Because I don’t think I could ever lose you, not with how much I’m..” In love with you. Say it, Billy you know it’s true. You know that you love him just admit it to yourself, admit it to him.. He’s said it why can’t you? He puffed out some air and felt his cheeks tint with that flood of colour that he tried so hard to suppress.

“I’m.. in love with.. you.”

For a second he forgot how to breathe...it was too much for him. Not in his wildest dreams had he ever would have imagined the night to go this way. Rasmus let out a shake breath as he remembered that Oxygen was important if he wanted to continue living. Right, Oxygen. Yes...

But Billy's eyes were so big and they were staring at him and...oh fuck okay breathe...

"Y-you do?" Somehow he was able to find his voice again, though for how long he didn't know. He stared back at the guy that he had been falling in love with for a few years now, painfully aware that his heart was hammering fast and wouldn't slow down it's pace. "Bills...I....oh.....god..."

For once in his life, Rasmus Aage was speechless. There was no eloquent poem or sonet that could describe his feelings right now. So he did the next best thing. Grabbing Billy by his waist he lifted him slightly, in a loving kiss. This time with a lot more passion than before, it was almost bruising how much eagerness he showed. He broke away and gave Billy a kiss on his cheek as a gesture to excuse his erratic kissing.

"I'm the luckiest guy in the world when I'm with you, don't worry, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon"

Night of the Ball

oldemptyhouses-deactivated20140

It seemed to be a trend tonight for him to be rendered speechless. Half of him didn’t know what to say, the other half simply didn’t want to ruin what Rasmus had said by opening his mouth and having nothing but garbled speech spill out of him. So instead, when Billy was pulled closer, he just let his eyes stay closed and leaned into the body, mind reeling as he thought of something that he could say. By no means was he poetic, nor did he know what the proper words were for this kind of occasion. Even his incessant need to fill any and all silence with chit chat was pushed to the back of his mind because all he could really do was… think. Not speak, just think.

Finding the jacket on his lap, he pulled it back against his chest, no longer really needing it’s warmth. The arms around him provided quite a good amount of that after all. “I hope you don’t.. leave soon then.” Finally, Billy let his eyes open again, a small smile playing on his features. He never thought that he’d have this kind of thing; this chance. To take a jump, a leap and a hop into the arms of someone else. Let alone another man. At a young age the boy had convinced himself that he would probably be okay being alone for the rest of his life. It was one of his biggest fears, mind you. Being alone. But he thought to himself that if he never had anyone, then he’d never lose anyone, and that feeling of being torn away from the people you love—well he would never have to experience it. Billy would never have to experience the feeling of being… truly and utterly alone and bitter..

Suddenly his fears caught up with him and he found himself pushing away slightly, not enough to pull away but enough to look up at Rasmus’ face. Into those deep blue eyes that had stunted him so many times. He didn’t know if he could lose that… this. Any of it. And Rasmus was graduating from Hogwarts this year. His heart sunk into the pit of his stomach at the notion. What if he never saw him after this? After this last stretch of school. There would be no letting him back on campus unless he had a reason for coming, right? So how.. Billy lowered his eyes, wishing for just a split second that he could take it back. Take it away because he could already feel that emptiness climbing up his throat.

Surely Rasmus would return, somehow. Visit him during the summers or vice versa until they could formulate better conditions for one another. He may as well ask, right? If they were.. dating now.. or on their way to it. Whichever it was. “What happens next year?” He pulled the jacket back against himself, both hands grasping at the fabric on the inside.

Rasmus laughed lightly at the cute joke. At least that hadn't been a no? That must be good...if that was the case. Though he could never tell with Billy...it was hard to read those pretty eyes of his. Everytime he opened his mouth, he was afraid that he would just drive the other student away.

I mean...really Rasmus was nothing compared to Billy. Why would anyone as great as the boy, care for someone who wasn't up at his same level. Billy was great, and he well...he was Rasmus. His heart hurt at the pure thought of Billy just being nice...and well just letting the older boy in just out of pity. He could see it happening, Billy was so nice. The nicest, and maybe...he just didn't want to break Ras heart. If that was the case then...maybe it wouldn't be prudent for him to just fall for in love head over heels for the guy in front of him.

He realized he already had, and there was nothing to stop him from falling even further.

"What happens next year?" he thought about it for a moment. "Well if it all goes well I'll have a job...and I can come and visit you as many times as you wish. Or else I would be here every other day and you would get tired of me" he smiled at the boy before his face turned serious for the first time this whole night.

"Billy...you're not doing this because you don't want to hurt me right? Because if you are...well it would be easier to not do anything now...before I fall into a endless pit of love for you..." he bit his lip at the stupid metaphor he used and then added "I'm at the edge at the moment."

He could never tell, the boy spoke very little...and...well Rasmus had always been paranoid because things were too good to be true at the moment.

Night of the Ball

oldemptyhouses-deactivated20140

He was stupid. Utterly and definitively… idiotic. It was official, why else would he be sitting here practically sniveling—okay so he was more like just tearing up but there were a few that cried freedom, he could feel them on his cheeks—into Rasmus’ chest. Billy was stupid, and he was a child. Oh how he resented himself in this moment and time. How foolish of him.. and of course Ras would think it was his fault; even though it wasn’t. Not that these were even bad tears. In fact as far as he could tell they were happy ones, but that didn’t make them sting in the cold and less.

Billy stayed like that for a minute, simply sniffling with his fingers trapped in the cloth of the ravenclaw’s shirt, eyes squeezed shut and lips drawn into a thin line. Of course he didn’t even have anything cool to say like Rasmus had; no he’d gone and all he could say was ‘Okay’ like that cleared up anything at all. And it clearly hadn’t when he heard Rasmus talk again. Speaking of his feigning courage.

And then he was looking up. Looking at Rasmus, just like he had in the great hall. Admiration and love in his eyes. Wait he knew this part. Feeling the thumb wipe away some stray tears and then, yes, pull him closer. His breath hitched before he let his own eyes slip closed, following Rasmus’ lead as he felt lips press against his own. Gosh.. god. Merlin.. whoever was out there. His skin began tingling as he pressed back, returning the kiss. Albeit he was a bit sloppy even with this chaste, kind kiss.

His cheeks burned as he felt Ras pull away, his eyes still closed, fingers still clinging to his shirt. He parted his lips a little wider, letting a puff of air out. Wow..

"Wow..." He had never felt anything like it before. The feel of those lips was a lot more intense than he had thought they were. The feeling of them, he couldn't quite possibly describe them. At that moment and time Rasmus felt the happiest he had ever been and if he had tried, he was sure he would have been able to make an Patronus that blinded the whole courtyard. He pulled Billy closer to his body, this time kissing the top of his head. The shampoo smell more sweet than he had remembered it.

"Billy...I'll make you the happiest guy alive or at least I'll try everyday for as long as I live. I want to see that smile that lightens the entire room...if you'd let me, I'll be there when you need a shoulder to lean on...or a to cry on. I'll be your support when you can't go any longer...and I'll carry you when your feet get tired. I....." he hesitated for a minute...maybe it would be too much for him to take but his tongue wouldn't stop. "I've loved you for a long time...and if you'd let me, I'll continue loving you until I part from this earth..."

Night of the Ball

Alright so this was the moment of truth, he told himself as he turned towards Billy, grabbing one of the small hand with both of his.

“No but see, I don’t think you comprehend how long I’ve been wanting to go out…with you. Billy I’ve had a huge crush on you since I first saw you…since that moment I knew I had to get to know you. Throughout all these years it’s been kinda hard to stand next to you and not want to kiss you…hug you…care for you. Because well I just didn’t think you liked me that way. But tonight, well I’m feeling a bit brave and maybe the weight off my shoulders will decrease as I tell you this. But I’m utterly and completely head over heels for you.”

Shit now that he started going he couldn’t stop.

“There’s a moment in time where you realize that you have met the person you want to spend the rest of your life with…the one that when you see them smile, brightens the whole world for you. Someone that you can be yourself around, but still feel those butterflies when they get too close. Billy, you’re beautiful, smart, kind, loving. I admire you so much and if maybe…you would let me…I could show you how much I care about you by letting me be your boyfriend.”

He raised the pale hand to his lips, delivering a chaste kiss. Rasmus smiled at Billy, maybe he had said too much and the other would be running out the door as soon as he would let his hand go.

oldemptyhouses-deactivated20140

From the moment that his hand was taken from the jacket, to the moment that those lips placed the most gentle, feather light kiss he’d ever felt—not that he’d ever had a real kiss before but, well he’d gotten plenty of kisses on the cheek—Billy’s heart may have literally stopped beating. He thought for a moment that he was about to die. That maybe, this was it. The light at the end of the tunnel, the voices of the angels as they called his name. The feeling of someone that you loved irrevocably holding your hand and guiding you through the gates to eternal glory and happiness. Billy knew that his eyes were probably comically wide right now, mouth slightly agape as he stared up at Rasmus. Heart palpitating and palms sweaty. Why did he always do that? Why did he always have to leave him breathless and without words? It wasn’t very fair.

But Rasmus was right. There was a moment in time where you came to realize these things. For some people it happened sooner than others, but it would happen no matter how hard you tried to run from it. When you were in love, you needed to embrace it. Embrace them and.. accept them for everything that they were. Everything that they come to be and choose to do. He could only wish that he had as much confidence and such a high self esteem that he could have just simply burst out that he felt the same, but there was a part of him that thought this had to all be a prank. Someone was waiting behind the corner to laugh at him for falling for it. And yet at the same time this felt so real, so right.. and so perfect that he couldn’t help the feeling of tears pricking at the corner of his eyes.

And suddenly, he could breathe again as he blinked back the tears, the colour on his cheeks deepening. He literally had no idea what to say. Billy was again, at a loss for words. His fingers fumbled nimbly at the hand holding his own captive. Scraping across the surface of the skin, not in an attempt to be free, but in an attempt to find purchase. No instead of running away, he pulled himself closer with that hand. Pulled himself as close as he could without falling off the bench and onto his face. “Rasmus..” He chocked on the rest of his words as he tried to speak. Why was his body doing this to him? Stupid body! If it wasn’t going to speak he’d make it move.

Shaking his head again, he dropped the jacket and used his free hand to grab the front of Rasmus’ shirt, squishing his face right against the other boys chest again. How could he even say no? God no, no he felt the same he knew he did. This was right. “Okay..”

Wow what a wordsmith.

Rasmus didn't know what to say...he wasn't sure if he had made Billy cry because the thought of dating him was so horrible or the fact that his words were just too cheesy...he hoped it was the later. Hands ran soothingly through the other's hair as he tried to calm Billy down.

"Hey don't cry, I didn't think I was that horrible at speeches..." he joked. When he heard the okay he smiled wide.

His hands left Billy's and decided instead of pushing Billy away from himself a little.

"There's something I've been meaning to do the whole night, and I better do it before I lose all of this blind courage I have at the moment."

Gentle he cupped Billy's face, wiping some of the tears with his thumb softly. He smiled before leaning over and closing his eyes. The moment that he finally got to taste those plump lips was something he could never forget. The electrity between them was too much to handle and they actually had to take a breather. It had been a chaste kiss because he didn't want to scare Billy but he hoped that eventually he could give him a more heated kiss. His passion was a hard thing to contain.

Night of the Ball

oldemptyhouses-deactivated20140

He was right to assume that it would be rather chilly and, well the short sleeves didn’t help him much. So when Rasmus handed his jacket over to him, the first thing he wanted to do was to protest. Of course, he was slower as usual and ended up just nodding in defeat. Though he told himself with resolve that the second he saw goosebumps anywhere on Rasmus he’d be giving the jacket back. He would definitely only keep it for a short amount of time and.. wait what was he about to say? Do? … Think? Far too distracted by the warmth of the jacket as he pulled it close to his body, and his face. Nuzzling into the fabric before noticing that, hey you sad sod chill out that’s a little creepy.

Billy felt his cheeks turn a little rosy again, both thanks to the cold and the sudden realization that he was manhandling someones jacket like a total creep. But, looked up never the less when he heard Rasmus’ next words and how they hung in the air around them. To impress him? What was that supposed to mean? Blinking a bit, he simply looked up at him, unsure of what he was meant to say.

“Well I.. uh you did a good job but..” He swallowed, bringing the jacket back up to his face and pulling it over his nose, hiding in the dark cloth. “You don’t have to do that. I like you no matter what clothes you wear..” It was the truth, Rasmus looked good in anything and just reeked pure awesome no matter what he was doing. He really didn’t even have to try to impress Billy, after all he had already done that and nothing would ever convince him to look at the other boy any differently.

Alright so this was the moment of truth, he told himself as he turned towards Billy, grabbing one of the small hand with both of his.

"No but see, I don't think you comprehend how long I've been wanting to go out...with you. Billy I've had a huge crush on you since I first saw you...since that moment I knew I had to get to know you. Throughout all these years it's been kinda hard to stand next to you and not want to kiss you...hug you...care for you. Because well I just didn't think you liked me that way. But tonight, well I'm feeling a bit brave and maybe the weight off my shoulders will decrease as I tell you this. But I'm utterly and completely head over heels for you."

Shit now that he started going he couldn't stop.

"There's a moment in time where you realize that you have met the person you want to spend the rest of your life with...the one that when you see them smile, brightens the whole world for you. Someone that you can be yourself around, but still feel those butterflies when they get too close. Billy, you're beautiful, smart, kind, loving. I admire you so much and if maybe...you would let me...I could show you how much I care about you by letting me be your boyfriend."

He raised the pale hand to his lips, delivering a chaste kiss. Rasmus smiled at Billy, maybe he had said too much and the other would be running out the door as soon as he would let his hand go.

The mind is a dangerous place @gobletstar - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag