how did i get here

hi, i'm lindsay and my icon's name is steve

[goddamnchucklefuck]

the strangest fucking thing to come out of social distancing is middle-aged men trying to prove how macho they are when i ask them to abide by the 6-foot rule while in line for checkout

“sir, can you please back up to the marker on the floor for me?”

“OH HO HO HO, OKAY, SURE, HA HA, I’LL BUY INTO THE PANIC, LOL YEAH, I’LL BUY INTO THE FEAR, IT’S NOT LIKE I HAVE IT OR ANYTHING” like man, shut the fuck up, i’m not here for it

[goddamnchucklefuck]

so apparently my blog was like? hacked and spammed with porn bots and shit and there’s a shit ton of posts in my queue, but from looking at these posts, i can say one thing

the girls in these simulators are more diverse than the actual media

[goddamnchucklefuck]

straight people have such an issue with not being the center of attention

[goddamnchucklefuck]

the only kinda bitch mama raised was a bad one

[goddamnchucklefuck]

i am a bone and life is the rabid dog chewing on me and sucking out my marrow

[goddamnchucklefuck]

one moment i could be all fine and dandy with kids, given em piggy back rides, throwin them on the couch, playin hide and seek and whatnot, but all it takes is that one whiny little bastard to make me say that i hate children

[goddamnchucklefuck]

i thought of an awful idea

remember that “tumblr code” where if you thought someone had a tumblr, you’d tell them, “i like your shoe laces” and the other person is supposed to say, “thanks, i stole them from the president”?

well something like that, but for edgy “scary stories to tell in the dark” stans

person 1 says “me tie dough-ty walker” and person 2 says, “lynchy-kinchy-colly-molly-dingo-dingo”

and then theh both jerk each other off while reading their favorite stories

[goddamnchucklefuck]

bitches on tiktok be making videos like “TYPES OF LAUGHS” and think that’s original, quality content

[goddamnchucklefuck]

and then go and make multiple parts as if we wanna see that more than once

[goddamnchucklefuck]

bitches on tiktok be making videos like “TYPES OF LAUGHS” and think that’s original, quality content

[goddamnchucklefuck]

my bitchass friend just told me he went to italy to “chill for a bit” smh i fucking hate him

[goddamnchucklefuck]

remember that time in tumblr history when everyone referred to it as “timblr dot corn” and like. people said “rebagled” instead of “reblogged.” like literally what the ever loving Fuck was that

[goddamnchucklefuck]

another thing to add is when everyone was saying “I DID A THING!!!!!!!!” what the shit did you do wtf

[goddamnchucklefuck]

“i did a thing ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)” was it art? was it a flip? was it murder? who knows!!!!!

[goddamnchucklefuck]

person: that’s gordon ramsay

me: ok cool, i get that

person: his name is gordon

me:

[goddamnchucklefuck]

remember that time in tumblr history when everyone referred to it as “timblr dot corn” and like. people said “rebagled” instead of “reblogged.” like literally what the ever loving Fuck was that

[goddamnchucklefuck]

another thing to add is when everyone was saying “I DID A THING!!!!!!!!” what the shit did you do wtf

[goddamnchucklefuck]

littles be like “i heard a little girl call ‘daddy!’ in public today and my nipples got hard lol 🤪” and really don’t see any problem with that

[jaybirrrd]

yr a lil peepee boi arnt u

i have no idea what you are referring to but yes. im a lil peepee boi. 

[goddamnchucklefuck]

remember that time in tumblr history when everyone referred to it as “timblr dot corn” and like. people said “rebagled” instead of “reblogged.” like literally what the ever loving Fuck was that

[goddamnchucklefuck]

*on a date*

me: so, what do you do? :)

them: right now i wright for riverdale, but i’m planning to switch to 13 reasons why :)

me: *violently breaks their xiphiod process in one swift blow and rips out each of their metacarpals one by one* god would not have shown you such mercy