Best One Liners from our favorite Todd

[lledxela]

"Todd why is the office flooded?"

"Aesthetic."

[fakehermes-deactivated20170207]

[goddamnittodd]

I'm on moblie but this gem was bestowed upon me. "Are you insinuating that I go out of my way to make people love me? Because, true... but..."

[goddamnittodd]

[goddamnittodd]

glitter on his dick, or at least that's the way he told that story

[goddamnittodd]

Me and Todd scrolling through Tumblr

Me: Oh man is that a French Press?

Todd: I believe so.

Me: I want a French Press so bad

Todd: Well then I know what I'm getting you for Christmas.

Todd: A how do you say, 'French Press'?

[goddamnittodd]

Allow me to provide this with absolutely no context.

Jason Todd: if a guy gets turned into a cat

Jason Todd: and has sex with another cat, is that bestiality?

Dany: it both is and is not bestiality. it's schrodinger's bestiality.

Jason Todd: Schrodinger's bestiality is possibly the best concept I have ever heard of.

[laughing-and-lyric]

Flawless person alert: Bahorel edition.

[goddamnittodd]

[goddamnittodd]

[1:56:22 PM] Courtney Nicole: my spleen hurts

[1:56:25 PM] Courtney Nicole: spleen, stop it

[1:56:37 PM] Todd: punch it

[goddamnittodd]

Yes, I keep pixie forest boots.

-Todd (via kcolrehsdeux)

[goddamnittodd]

[9:57:09 PM] Todd: HE FUCKING PUT MY HEAD ON A FISH THAT I SLAPPED HIM WITH

[9:57:18 PM] Todd: on the plus side I totes slapped davy jones with a fish

[dragonagefriendlyreminders]

friendly reminder that there is no one in Kirkwall that Anders wouldn’t kill to see mages free.✿◕‿◕✿

[goddamnittodd]

#Anders went from Jack Sparrow to Will Turner in one possession

[goddamnittodd]

Todd: drunk is not an excuse for his head to pop and suddenly be disporportionate to his body

Courtney: Are you sure?

Todd: my head does not suddenly gain two sizes when I'm drunk

Todd: and I know this beacuse I wear hats when I get drunk

[goddamnittodd]

Dany: i'm a giver

Todd: just not of fucks

[rojo-todd]

[singular] y’all

[plural] all y’all

[rojo-todd]

GROTESQUE SOBBING

[rojo-todd]

It is four thirty and i only just realized my boxer briefs are backwards.

[rojo-todd]

update I walked out of the bathroom and forgot to fix them.