This. This right here is another reminder that I left the abuse. You see, these are pony tail holders that I would keep, or try to keep that is in my vehicle. Every time I got back in my car after he drove it, the few that I had put in there on purpose for times when I was out and forgot one, were gone. He has long hair and is irresponsible with the pack I would always get him. He would lose all of his within days, meanwhile Iâm very good at keeping up with my stuff so what does he do? Selfishly takes mine. No matter how many times I told him not to, he would continue to do it anyway. No matter that I was without one on 100 degree Texas summer days out at an outdoor event with the kids and relied on getting one from my car, only after leaving the house would I realize they were missing. I think itâs possible that he couldâve done it on purpose as a form of control and to mentally get to me. It seems like such a silly, simple thing but you see, to me, itâs just one more reminder of the one with zero consideration for others and the abuse I left behind. As I drive in my car now, every time I look down and see the hair bands still there, Iâm reminded just how exhausting being with and dealing with him really was. And I honestly couldnât tell you how I survived for so long except for my Heavenly Father Jesus never leaving me through every step. He pulled me out of a dark situation out of His love for me and to be used for his glory. I say all this to say, sometimes you donât realize how much those little things in your lives affect you. How much energy they cost you and how much they really mean to you until you donât have them or donât have to deal with them anymore. So, I will always keep hair bands in my car even if I end up chopping off my hair because you see, to me, it will always be a tangible reminder of the abuse that I stepped away from, was brought out of and the freedom that I now live in. I give God the glory and thank Him for his help and friends and therapists who were vessels being used by Him to help lead me out of the hell that I was living in. I will never forget it. It has changed me and will forever be a part of me but that doesnât have to be a bad thing. If you are struggling with a similar situation whether physical, mental, emotional or any other kind of abuse, please reach out. Donât keep quiet. Asking for help and seeking counsel is the first step in freedom. I know it may seem dark now and that youâll never be out of it but trust me when I say that it will feel like no time at all that youâre in a new , different life. Flourishing like you NEVER thought possible. May God go and stay with you.