[gohomebarbara]

I’m wearing my Cats the musical tall tee

[gohomebarbara]

I got access to help 8 months ago, prioritized myself, invested in myself, and I’m starting to feel like a person again. I got a real haircut for the first time in five years. I’m feeling way less agoraphobic. I’m able to do more. I felt so hopeless and lost for so long. I’m happier. It’s only going up. I’m so thankful for the support from my family. It’s so great not feeling alienated and like I’m going to die all the time.

[gohomebarbara]

I’ve been over here planning my brat birthday and then charli announces the end of the brat era

[gohomebarbara]

me: What? Taco Bell has wifi? I could have liveblogged my taco! Why didn’t you guys TELL ME?

[gohomebarbara]

I had to get an upper endoscopy yesterday and the nurses and doctors were so nice, I was moved to tears. I literally went in crying and one of them wiped my tears and kept calling me girly while she explained everything and put oxygen on me and had me turn on my side. Love those people. 🫶🏻

[gohomebarbara]

I need therapy

[gohomebarbara]

I just discovered that the ex situationship? that completely damaged my psyche with his words and actions and who has been lowkey haunting me (as recently as August) at varying levels of intensity since I met him almost ten years ago is in fact not five years older than me like he told me he was and like I always thought he was, but rather TEN years older than me. I was 22 when I met this em-effer. this is creepy, right?

[gohomebarbara]

praying for y’all

[gohomebarbara]

https://youtu.be/QQMO8gaQlXY

It’s almost time for me to watch one of my favorite Halloween videos. I found this in 2014 when I was living with a classmate when I was finishing up cosmetology school. I was super depressed because I was living in a house with no a/c or running water, shitting in bags, taking sink baths at school before class. I was looking for the comfort of old food network Halloween recipes one night when I was in “my” bedroom that had spray-painted walls because it was actually my classmate’s furry brother’s old bedroom. Instead of finding some old semi-homemade Halloween episodes, I found this video with an extremely misleading thumbnail made by an insanely homosexual man who called himself Casey Couture. It is such a quaint little train wreck and I only let myself watch it at the end of October. This video is so important to me that I have it downloaded onto my computer, saved in Google drive, and uploaded to my YouTube account on private just in case.

[gohomebarbara]

watching this tonight

[gohomebarbara]

My nephew dropped out of priest school to date a girl with a license plate that says “D4WGNM3.”

[gohomebarbara]

Planning period naps hit different, but planning period during the last block of the day naps hit real different.

[gohomebarbara]

studentaid.gov gotta be the worst website

[gohomebarbara]

Walker gave me an ear camera and the amount of impacted cotton I just got out of my ear is crazy

[gohomebarbara]

Trevor, my oldest (ex?) friend, doesn’t know that I know that he’s getting married this weekend and that he didn’t invite us. He doesn’t know that the wedding website they made is extremely easy to stumble upon. He doesn’t know that I know he deliberately didn’t invite us or even attempt to have a conversation with us after we tried expressing our concerns about him moving too fast and completely going off the rails and treating Walker like shit. He doesn’t know that you can go to the RSVP page and type in the names of all of his friends and see that they were invited and we weren’t despite… *gestures at the past 17 years of our friendship and all we have been through together.* He doesn’t know that I saw his mom comment *3 more days!* on his future wife’s (Tommy Wiseau voice) random Facebook repost. He doesn’t know that I noticed that he unfollowed me on instagram and blocked us on Twitter, the latter of which we haven’t even used in years. He doesn’t know that Walker noticed he removed him from his Plex server. (Hilarious way to be petty, btw.) And he definitely doesn’t know we’re mailing him a card after the wedding with a Texas Roadhouse gift card inside of it to remind him that he’s the asshole, not us. Am I crazy?

[gohomebarbara]

[gohomebarbara]

Today I crossed state lines to go to Buc-ee’s and a man I broke up with seven years ago was the first person I saw when I stepped out of the bathroom.

[gohomebarbara]

I’m off for the summer and trying to teach myself how to crochet so I don’t just rot in front of the tv for ten weeks. I’ve unraveled and redone this a million times between today and yesterday.