The Mess Inside

Rebecca, 21. This is a personal blog. I like a lot of stuff. Some things you will definitely see on this blog: Text posts mostly about myself, Home Decor, watercolors,The Mountain Goats, Jack's Mannequin,The Weakerthans, Brett Dennen, and a variety of things that I think are hilarious.

[going-to-maine]

Haven’t been on Tumblr in a while but I thought people would appreciate this. 

I bought 500 business cards to hand out to guys who street harass me.

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Sometimes I come back to this website just to remind myself why I left.

Also I miss my mutuals.

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Announcement:

Alright team, here’s the dealio:

I don’t use this blog at all for anything really anymore. I can’t guarantee that this is going to continue on forever, but lately I’ve felt a little disenfranchised by Tumblr and a lot of the attitudes on this website as a whole.

If you still want to be friends/keep up with my life/whatever please feel free to message me and we can figure something out. However, for now, my interest on this website is so so slim that it is likely that I am going to disappear from it all together.

We’ve had our fun,

--Becca

[going-to-maine]

Day 77: what gives you everyday inspiration & Day 78: would you rather people be honest with you, even if it’s something not good, or lie to you to make you feel good & Day 79: least favorite subject in school

Day 77: Oh, I don’t know, flowers? Sure, yeah, flowers.

Day 78: Lie to make me feel good. SORRY NOT SORRY.

Day 79: Currently I really hate psychology and will never take another course in it again.

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Day 76: how do you feel about going green

I think wind mills and solar panels are beautiful.

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Day 74: how would you describe your style of clothing & Day 75: what is one of the best dreams you have ever had

Day 74: Well Chickens, it depends on the day. I wear a lot of dresses but I’m slowly edging my way back to t-shirts and jeans because that’s what I’m the most comfortable in...I really like hoodies and sweatpants. I went through a “PETER PAN COLLAR ONLY” phase and I’m kinda past it. I just want to look cool. Lately I’ve been rockin’ the sweater/flannel combo.

Day 75: I seem to only have horribly terrifying dreams, actually. I had one once that war really good and juicy that I don’t want to share. I want to live in that bliss.

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Day 73: what are your favorite pair of shoes

My strappy black ones I wore to prom in high school

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Day 72: list of everything you ate today

Going backwards: Chips, milk, cereal, more chips, pasta, more pasta.

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Day 68: the best concert you have been to & Day 69: powerful song lyrics you love & Day 70: a celebrity you don’t necessarily enjoy, and why & Day 71: differences between you and your best friend

Day 68: I’ve been to a few of these Beatle’s Tribute band concerts and those are pretty good usually. The best one recently was the last Indie Series because the lead singer from the band crawled through the audience. Also the Say Anything/Motion City concert I went to was amazing. It’s hard to choose. I do like the intimacy of local bands though.

Day 69: “Just keep your head above” Honestly, anything from the song “Swim” That song got me through just about everything and it’s still my go to now when I’m upset. Like, you have to keep going. You have to keep fighting. You have to keep swimming.

Day 70: I don’t like Steven Seagal. He’s kind of weird and he shares the same birthday as me. I don’t like Woody Allen anymore either after the whole sexual abuse thing happened. I read his daughter’s letter out loud and I cried a lot.

Day 71: I think that Katie is a lot smarter than me. I think she also cares a lot less than me. I’m healthier than she is, she listens to better music, I was her boss for a while now we’re coworkers again. She’s had boyfriends and sex, I’m not about relationships. She’s always been herself. She taught me how to be myself.

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Day 67: how you found out about tumblr, and why you made one

A lot of my friends had them in high school. I decided I wanted to be a part of this world. I made one going into being a freshman in college. I never imagined where it would take me.

[myboyfriendpetebuttigieg]

No one here seems interested in the grimy parts of mental health. Everyone wants to talk about mental illness as quiet introverts drinking tea and nervously stuttering over words. No one ever talks about symptoms like paranoia or...

[going-to-maine]

Day 66: if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be

I'd like to switch lives with someone that has some sort of mental health issue. I don't actually want to do it because it would be "cool" or "fun" I suppose it would be interesting to get a different perspective for myself to go back in with the next day. I guess I would switch with anyone that I have privilege over. I think it would only benefit me more to understand the inequalities that I force on others.

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Day 65: one random fact about yourself

Well, I run another rather unpopular blog about my being a slob. 

https://xchromo.wordpress.com/

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Day 64: favorite thing about last month

Ha. 

Well, I got news that this guy that I hooked up with has a really big penis and it's not my fault that it didn't work, and that I shouldn't be afraid of sex. 

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Day 63: the song with the most number of plays on your itunes

I don't really use iTunes anymore, but for a while it was "Ain't No Reason" by Brett Dennen

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Day 62: how many keys are on your keyring

Just the one for my house, but I've collected a lot of key chains.

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Day 60: a YouTube video you absolutely love and describe why & Day 61: one of your most prized possessions

Day 60: There's this one really great ASMR video by this guy named Deluca. I love his accent because it reminds me of a lot of my friends from school who no longer attend it. Also his voice is really calming and he's not bad to look at...

Day 61: I have a stuffed animal named Puppy who I love.