There are two kinds of heartbreak.
The first type is when someone you love changes their mind. They may wake up and decide that the feelings they once had for you are gone. The warm safety of love disappears. Maybe someone else comes along, maybe you grow apart,or maybe for whatever reason the universe decides that you and this person donât belong together. Like that theyâre gone,and the pain you feel seems crippling. You stop eating,you stop sleeping, you go over in your mind until youâve driven yourself crazy wondering where they are and who they love now. You drink more,you do things you wouldnât normally, you feel unrecognizable for a while. Until one day you wake up and pick up the pieces and move on.
But the second kind is harder,darker,different.
It happens when someone you love dies,because when someone you love dies,you get nothing,no closure,most likely no goodbye. You realize you wonât ever hear their voice again,you wonât see them in pictures anymore. They donât move on,they donât get to. Things will happen to you and you will reach for the phone to tell them probably a hundred times,maybe a thousand. You wonât ever get to tell them the things you thought you had time to say. You wonât ever go on long drives together,share music,ask for advice when you need it,laugh about things,cry about them too. Youâre left with only the moments in your head. You try and remember the way they laughed or their smell. Life seems dimmer,blurry,empty. They leave a void that is impossible to fill.
Maybe you wake up one day and you donât miss them as much,or you feel better,happy even,but the difference you see is that one heartbreak heals eventually,the second never does,it stays with you your whole life,and in my opinion you never recover,you just learn to live without them,you have to,you donât get a choice.
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