I can so see Graysons girl best friend in uni and heâs just ranting about his hookups not texting him back and sheâs just like âGrayson youâre handsome find someone else if youâll excuse me I have a thesis to writeâ
As much as you love Grayson Dolan-- and youâll never admit to yourself just how deep your love goes, let alone him or anyone else-- thereâs just certain moments in your life where you could do without him.Â
Those, of course, are his favorite moments to decide to turn up. Like now, where heâs confident in your habit of leaving your dormâs door unlocked after 3 pm on Thursdays since heâs got Sociology in the building next door. You just have to hear the violent way that the door bursts open, and hear that familiar huff from your asthmatic best friend who has no idea how to measure his strength, to know that any hope you had of outlining your paper for your honors thesis was out the window.Â
And yet, you persevere. Sometimes, when heâs sleep-deprived enough, and the line at starbucks is too long, he just comes over to nap. And those days are easy. His big ass body just throwing himself on your bed, a mumbled out âheyâ and suddenly: heâs snoring. You wish for that now as you listen to his heavy footsteps, but itâs suddenly ruled out.Â
Grayson pauses by the chair next to your desk-- Ethan calls it the witness stand, considering how much gets exposed by anyone who sits in it. Your backpack is currently engulfed in the soft plush of your blanket and the clothes you were wearing this morning for class before coming home to don your usual sweatpants. Without a word, Grayson moves everything to the floor and turns to plop down. You know youâre in for it when you glance up and see him turn the brim of his baseball cap to the back of his head.Â
âBro,â he finally says, tilting his phone towards you. You donât even need to glance down. heâs got a new girl on there every other day, it seems like. âYou know Jasmine, from stats? She gave me an asthma attack last night.âÂ
Up until this point, you were unamused. Any mental picture of the man you were secretly in love with in bed with another woman sent your blood boiling. But the mental picture of him wheezing and needing his inhaler mid-thrust is funny enough to have you breaking character. You look at him. He hasnât shaved in a few days-- insisting on growing back his mustache from last December that apparently got him more ass than ever. He hasnât gotten a haircut either, wisps of brown waves peeking out from under his hat. That dazzling smile that makes you melt, those big hazel eyes that look way more innocent than he actually is. Heâs giving you this dopey smirk, his eyebrows thick and arched over his eyes, waiting for your laugh. You give it to him, shaking your head. âGray-- how?âÂ
âListen, I donât say this often, but I think she might have been the best sex of my life. Iâm rotating her right to the top.âÂ
âShit, above Lizzie?âÂ
âYo, fuck Lizzie, bro. Sheâs dating Omar now.âÂ
âOmar, the guy that introduced you guys at Drewâs party?âÂ
âWhat the fuck-- does he know?âÂ
âI literally gave him a play by play. All his moves? Are my moves.â He rolls his eyes. âshe was top tier, bro.âÂ
âif only you were willing to offer her as much stability and commitment as Omar,â you click your tongue, and he laughs, shaking his head.Â
âChill, chill,â he looks down at his phone, going serious for a second, and then groaning. âJasmineâs busy tonight though. I think sheâs ghosting me.âÂ
âWhatever shall you do?â you say, turning back to your computer. Grayson exhales, locking his phone and laying his head back against the chair, shimmying down until heâs at optimal comfort. You can feel his eyes on you, but choose to ignore it. Youâve been staring at the blank document of your paperâs outline for about five minutes.Â
âDid you do something to your hair?â Grayson asks after a few minutes of silence. You glance at him, and then at the mirror on the wall by your desk. Youâd retouched your roots last night, but itâs not something that most people really noticed. Itâs not something Grayson ever noticed.Â
Sitting up, you swivel around to face him, eyebrows cocked. âNo.âÂ
He blinks innocent eyes at you, but his smile is up to no good. He holds his hands up. âWhat? You didnât change your hair?âÂ
âYes, I did. But Iâm not doing whatever youâre trying to start. I have to get this paper done, and youâve got a phone full of girls you can call.âÂ
He groans, dramatic, his knees swinging in front of him. He looks lazy, and cuddly, and giant, and cocky, and sexy. You shake your head. âCome on, the last time we did it was so good...â he smirks. âProbably better than Jasmine.âÂ
âI have no idea what youâre talking about,â you lie, your cheeks burning. You recall very well just how good it was to fuck Grayson two weeks ago when his booty call didnât pan out so you invited him over for a wine night. It was everything youâd ever expect from him, down to him getting dressed as soon as you were done. You thought about it nearly every second of every day, and how much you wouldnât let it happen again, for the sake of your friendship.Â
Your friendship that is now here: with Grayson horny, bored, and begging you for another go.Â
âItâll be quick. Iâll do that thing you like.âÂ
âI would like for you to exit my dorm and find someone elseâs time to waste.âÂ
He frowns. âWhy are you being like this?âÂ
âGrayson. Youâre a handsome man. Youâve got plenty of people on this campus who want to fuck you. You donât need to be this lazy, settling for me. Just go do you, so I can get my work done.âÂ
You pull him to his feet now. Heâs heavy, but for the most part lets you push him out, slowly, his smile gone. He stops when you open the door, his eyes a lot softer. âYou think Iâm settling for you?âÂ
You look up at him. And for a moment, you almost fall for it. Itâs hard not to, when he smells this good and looks even better and you already know he can use every asset he has. But you shake your head. âIâll call you later. Bye.âÂ
You don't catch what he says when you close the door in his face, leaning against it with a heavy sigh, biting back the tears that catch you by surprise when they prick at your eyes.Â
As much as you love Grayson Dolan, thereâs just certain moments in your life where you could do without him. Like now, when youâre trying to concentrate on your work, but all you can think about is him, and how youâll never truly have him.Â