☁ 𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒆𝒛 𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒔 ☁

[goldsdusts]

kingdomcomes·:

               the  feeling  of  her  hand  on  his  shoulder  makes  him  release  a  sigh,  shrugging  it  off  before  standing  up.  “  you’ve  said  that  before.  ”  he  knows  it’s  not  fair  of  him  to  point  out,  or  that  he’s  not  the  one  in  the  position  she’s  in.  however,  he  also  is  not  content  with  his  own  position  in  this  situation.  “  if  you  wanted  to  be  with  me  that  badly,  you  would  have  figured  out  a  way  to  at  least  talk  to  him  about  wanting  to  end  things.  you  haven’t  even  done  that.  ”  he  begins  to  pace  the  room,  hands  moving  almost  excitedly  with  each  word  he  throws  at  her.  “  i  know  i’m  not  the  best  when  it  comes  to  expressing  how  i  feel,  but  i  would  have  done  that  already.  for  you.  for  us.  ”  at  the  mention  of  her  fear,  he  pauses,  hands  slowly  falling  to  his  side  as  he  looks  at  her  for  a  moment.  he  understands  that  fear  as  well,  for  her  boyfriend  was  not  the  best  at  handling  bad  news,  and  this  was  the  worst  news  someone  could  receive  from  their  significant  other.  he  looks  down,  clicking  his  tongue  against  the  roof  of  his  mouth  before  sitting  back  down  at  the  end  of  the  bed.  “  so  then  what  do  we  do  ?  ”  he  asks,  his  voice  softer  now.  “  i  know  you’re  scared,  but  we  can’t  keep  doing  this.  as  much  as  it’s  not  fair  to  me,  it’s  not  fair  to  you  either.  i  don’t  want  you  to  shoulder  this  burden  anymore.  ”

          her eyes are focused on his back until he pulls away from her touch. something about the way he does this stings harder than usual; her hand shrinks away, letting it rest in her lap while he continues to speak. “ you're right. i should have done this sooner. i’m sorry, nathan, ” she attempts to meet his eyes when she apologizes, but she knows he caught in the words he’s saying, the exasperation and emotion pouring into them despite how he might argue differently. more than the lying and hiding, she’s grown tired of this. the arguing. the same discussion they have every time kiki has to leave early to meet joel or steps away to call freya, asking her to cover again and again. not only is she afraid of her boyfriend’s reaction, but everyone else’s too. she can easily think of a few people who will have something the say. she’s afraid the excitement between her and nathan will fade. she’s afraid of her own feelings toward him. “ i know we can’t, ” she resigns, letting out a sigh. as nathan sits down, she gets up, moving toward the bag she had brought over containing her belongings. she starts to gather them from across the room in silence. once she’s done, she pulls off the hoodie of nathan’s she was wearing and puts it away. she turns, facing him once more. “ well. he should be off work by now, ” she inhales, “ i’ll go talk to him. really, this time. ”

[goldsdusts]

kingdomcomes​:

               although  long,  julie  enjoyed  her  time  with  her  friends  out  to  lunch.  it  was  nice  to  focus  on  something  that  wasn’t  school  for  once,  even  proud  of  herself  for  getting  out  for  two  hours  without  work  involved.  however,  she  was  happy  to  be  free  from  the  social  scene  and  excited  to  get  back  into  her  bed  for  a  well  deserved  nap  before  she  starts  to  study  for  her  midterms.  pushing  the  front  door  open,  she  drops  her  bag  down  near  the  coat  rack,  reminding  herself  to  get  it  later  on  as  she  kicks  the  door  shut  with  her  foot.  the  walk  to  her  room  consisted  of  a  few  things:  one,  take  her  shoes  off  and  place  them  in  the  shoe  rack.  two,  retrieve  a  water  bottle  from  the  fridge.  three,  acknowledge  the  person  currently  asleep  on  her  couch.  ‘  wait  a  second  .  .  .  ’  she  thinks  to  herself,  doing  a  double  take  before  jumping  back,  startled.  as  bad  as  it  was,  the  first  thought  in  her  head  had  to  do  with  how  beautiful  he  was,  her  eyes  locking  on  the  mole  under  his  bottom  lip  before  she  wills  herself  to  clear  her  throat  as  an  attempt  to  wake  the  other  up.  “  hello  ?  ”  she  calls  softly,  not  knowing  if  she  should  attempt  shaking  him  or  not.  “  hello  ?  ”  she  tries  again,  more  force  to  her  voice.  

         milo wouldn’t exactly consider himself a light sleeper. in fact, he was sometimes proud of his ability to fall asleep anywhere in almost any condition when he was tired enough. if he was truly exhausted, he even could sleep through his alarms. today, however, he failed to set any before he passed out. all of this combined explains why he only continued to sleep as julie first entered the apartment. later he’ll be grateful that he’s not someone who snores. her first attempt to wake him fails as well. it’s only when she repeats herself that he’s pulled from his dreams. he blinks slowly. a small hum is all he manages at first, still riddled with sleep and feeling the urge to continue his nap. then it hits him, startling him awake. a voice he doesn’t recognize. his immediate thought is that a stranger has entered his apartment. “ i’m a freelancer, i don’t have any money, ” he replies as he sits up, his grogginess seeping into in his tone. then he remembers he does in fact live with another person. he quickly blinks the rest of his sleep away, rubbing at his eyes briefly. his eyes shift swiftly from where they had been focused on the computer to find the source of the calls he had heard— his roommate. at least he hoped so. “ julie ? ”

[goldsdusts]

kingdomcomes​:

               “  are  you  serious  ?  ”  the  tone  of  his  voice  is  harsh,  matching  the  irritation  evident  on  his  features.  the  movie  was  long  forgotten,  which  filled  the  room  with  a  silence  that  was  not  good  for  the  thoughts  currently  coursing  through  nathan’s  head.  he  was  happy  to  be  near  her,  ecstatic  even,  but  the  thought  of  continuing  the  way  they  have  been  was  enough  to  make  him  voice  his  distaste  with  it  all.  “  you’re  not  tired  of  the  lying  ?  of  running  around  behind  his  back  ?  don’t  get  me  wrong,  i  fucking  hate  the  guy,  but  with  all  due  respect  i  don’t  understand  why  you’re  still  with  him  if  we  enjoy  our  time  together.  ”  he  sits  up,  back  facing  her  direction.  “  i  don’t  want  to  fight  either,  but  i  can’t  keep  living  like  this,  kiki.  i  want  to  tell  everyone  about  us,  but  we’re  living  a  lie.  ”  he  runs  his  fingers  through  his  hair,  exasperated.  “  and  maybe  i’m  the  only  person  who  wants  a  future  for  us.  ”

          she avoids looking at him for as long as she can manage, already familiar with the frustration that she’ll find written across his face. instead, she stares down at her hands absentmindedly toying with the blanket in front of her, a nervous habit. she still listens, closely, each word heavier than the last. her resolve finally cracks when he begins to move, her eyes drawn toward him, landing on his back as he turns it to her. he’s right— about almost everything he says. she knows they can’t keep going like this, but she also knows that he’s the only man she sees herself beside in a year. “ nathan, ” she starts, attempting to steady her voice, “ i promise you there is nothing i want more than a future with you. ” she extends her hand, reaching out to rest on his shoulder. her thumb moves in small circles against the fabric of his shirt. “ i want to be with you. of course i’m tired of lying and hiding. ” she knows that’s not enough ; she’s already told him this before, and here they are again. “ i’m just ... ” she inhales, “ i’m scared, nathan. ”

[goldsdusts]

· .  *   ·      ˚  ☁  starter for @square1​ !

          his leg was shaking up and down, up and down— again and again. he felt the urge to do something while he waited for the news behind the door his eyes were currently fixed on. brooks has been here before; nearly seven years ago now. in some ways, his broadened experience and added perspective on life soothes his nerves. in other ways, it only rattles them further. there were a thousand worries that raced through his head when he first heard her say it, some of which seem to be greeting him again. he tuned them out once more after a minute that felt like an eternity passed. instead, he focused on the dull hum of their air conditioner and the sound of the dogs playing in the other room. when the door cracks, it drew him out of his reverie abruptly, nearly startling him. “ what does it say? ”

[goldsdusts]

· .  *   ·      ˚  ☁  starter for @kingdomcomes​​ !

          “ can we not do this today, nathan? ” kiki asks, nearly exasperated as she reached for the remote on the bedside table. with a small click of a button, the background noise of dialogue belonging to a movie they were hardly paying attention to anymore faded into stillness, amplifying the palpable tension between them. she should feel worse, considering where she is—tucked into the sheets on a bed that doesn’t belong to her boyfriend. instead, she hoped for a sense of solace. she hoped for the peace and relief that nathan brought her. mostly, she hoped for the warm feeling that settled into her chest every time she was near nathan. “ i don’t want to fight again. ”

[goldsdusts]

kingdomcomes·:

milo & julie ── @goldsdusts· ! HI BESTIE <3

               pressing  the  sticky  note  on  the  fridge  became  a  crucial  part  of  her  daily  routine,  thumb  gliding  across  the  sticky  edge  to  make  sure  it  was  pressed  down  safely.  she  was  trying  to  hurry,  for  she  was  almost  late  to  meeting  her  friends  for  lunch  and  she  had  promised  she  wouldn’t  be  late  again,  but  she  was  also  never  good  at  being  on  time.  with  a  frustrated  sigh,  julie  steps  back  from  the  fridge,  double  checking  that  the  post-it  wouldn’t  fall  off  without  her.  “  that  should  do  it.  ”  she  says  aloud,  proud  that  it  only  took  a  few  seconds  versus  yesterday’s  three  minutes.  the  words  on  the  piece  of  paper  read  ‘  going  out  for  lunch,  be  back  tonight.  ’  which  was  pointless,  in  her  opinion.  she  has  never  even  crossed  paths  with  her  roommate,  so  telling  him  about  her  whereabouts  does  not  seem  to  matter  that  much  more  anyway.

          since moving into the apartment, milo’s stationery collection had been steadily growing. and then decreasing. last week, he had chosen a purple stack of post-its, which he now was tossing in between his hands as he strolled from his bedroom to the kitchen. bringing the supplies was now a habit. hungry for lunch, he headed straight for the fridge and quickly discovered today’s post-it. he read it— unable to stop the small smile that still appeared every time. there was something so charming about it to milo. he plucks a container of leftovers from the second shelf, setting it down on the counter before pulling a sticky note from the pile. his other hand reaches for the pen in his pocket. ‘ i hope you bring home fries for me. another long day of editing. ’ he doodled a small face in distress in the corner to top it off and places his response just underneath hers, closing the fridge behind himself. with julie gone for the day, he figured he could eat and work in the living room for a change of scenery. not to mention the couch he’s barely used looks particularly comfortable today. one could argue it wasn’t particularly productive, however, as after only two hours of editing milo was now fast asleep in the living room for a midday nap.