[goldtinged]

nothing even surprises or shocks me anymore.   I am becoming very hard on the outside and even softer on the inside.  I have to get through this. All of this, and my own life too. 

ind. EMMA CARSTAIRS from the dark artifices / the shadowhunter chronicles. by jay. sideblog to ecllectics

[goldtinged-a]

THIS BLOG IS ARCHIVED  !!   find me at my new blog @goldtinged  ( this is a sideblog to my multi so follow backs are from @/ecllectics)

[the-manila-institute]

To a stranger the closet might look like a jumble of photos and string and scribbled notes, but to her it was a love letter.

A love letter to her parents,

whose photograph was at the center of the compilation

Page 362 of Lady Midnight

Better quality here {x}

[goldtinged-a]

not that I’ve been here anyway but I have too many blogs which is why so I think in the next few days I’ll move emma to a sideblog of my multi

[goldtinged-a]

i finished the ghosts of the shadow market and let me tell u this ....... jem carstairs deserves the most rights

[goldtinged-a]

“where are julian and emma right now?” “paris. they like it so much there they keep extending their stay”

[goldtinged-a]

me @ cassandra clare writing no jem/emma interactions

[goldtinged-a]

im gonna deliver justice for emma carstairs if its the last fucking thing i do GOODNIGHT

[goldtinged-a]

ISABELLE

if  there  had  been  softness  upon  features  ,  all  of  its  remains  are  gone  as  words  ,  sharp  as  seraph  blades  ,  come  out  of  not-much-younger  lips.     isabelle  knows  she  can’t  possibly  say  anything  that  would  begin  to  comfort  emma  ;  she  had  been  emma  ,  at  some  extent.  a  teenager  whose  life  had  been  put  through  several  hells  and  back  ,  so  she  knows  there  was  nothing  one  could  say  and  that  wishful  thinking  only  made  things  worse  sometimes.     ruby  pendant  comes  up  and  down  as  she  sighs  ,  giving  the  other  a  light  shake  of  head  then.     “     being  alive  is  just  as  good  ,  given  the  circumstances.     ”

       ❛    i  don’t  want  to  just  be  alive    ❜       the  words  sound  petty  out  her  mouth  as  soon  as  she  said  them  .   it’s  the  kind  of  thing  a  child  would  say,   someone  who  didn’t  know  their  duty .   emma  knew  her  duty,  had  lived  and  breathed  the  shadowhunter  mandate  because  it  had  been  all  she  had  .  so  she  knew  that  isabelle  meant.  she  knew  sometimes  being  alive  was  the  best  thing  ,   knowing  you  got  to  fight  another  day ,  to  see  everyone  she  loved  again  .    but  she  was  tired ,  tired  of  it  being  just  that  .   for  the  first  time  since  she  was  twelve  years  old  she  ached,  painfully  ,  for  so  much  more  .   for  her  heart  not  to  be  constantly  on  the  line,  her  body  not  constantly  in  the  fight  of  her  life  .    being  alive,  she  was  starting  to  think,  was  not  the  same  as  being  fine .    but  she  doesn’t  want  to  say  so  much  to  isabelle,  someone  she  admires  for  her  strength,  for  her  determination  .  so  after  a  pause ,      ❛    no  you’re  right   -     at  least  we’re  alive     ❜  

[mixxmix-usa]

MIXXMIX | MD’s Wardrobe

; Shine Your Light…♠

[goldtinged-a]

i’m thinking abt it bc I’m writing a reply but: emma realising she doesn’t want to throw her life away, actually. the way she threw her heart and soul into the shadowhunter life because it offered her redemption and revenge but it also blinded her to everything she had then. she had to learn that she didn’t need redemption because she was a child when what happened to her happened, and it wasn’t their fault or their job to fix it. and that revenge didn’t have anything to offer her because it wouldn’t bring her family back. and that the expectation any of the children were at blame for anything that happened to them was cruel and wrong. 

she always distanced herself from the blackthorn family just a little, always thinking they were julian’s family not truly hers until the siblings show she is their sister too. and her cutting herself off emotionally from julian when she needed him most (and he needed her), because she was so caught up in the blood relation politics/the law is hard but it is the law/revenge as a value underpinning shadowhunter relations.

I think a lot about her emulating herself after jace and clary as a hero/martyr in LM before switching her modelling, thinking of them (and also izzy and alec) as friends and modelling her relationships after theirs and their campaign for change. it’s all because shadowhunter society values coldness, but her arc and the role of her friends is to show everyone that coldness does not serve you well (something diana literally says to emma at one point, i think)

the character development where emma leaves the shadowhunter world, partially, to go travel the world with julian because she gave everything, quite literally everything, to that world and they didn’t love her back (as an institution) and because despite that she was literally the model shadowhunter, the system failed her and her family again in the end

[goldtinged-a]

when me and layla finally make all our female muses friends.... then u will see .........

[vaememes]

  some  one  word  prompts .    (    send   one   of   the   words   for   our   muses   to   interact   based   off   that   word   )

goodbye :  my  muse  kissing  and/or  hugging  your  muse  goodbye.

secrets :   my  muse  sharing/confiding  their  deepest,  darkest  secret  with  your  muse.

nightmare :   my  muse  coming  to  your  muses  aid  when  they  awake  from  a  nightmare.

push :   my  muse  pushing  your  muse  out  of  the  way  of  danger.

embrace :   my  muse  abruptly  throwing  their  arms  around  your  muse,  hugging  them  tightly.

bloody :   my  muse  coming  to  your  muse  with  blood  stains  on  their  clothes  and  hands,  shaking.

drunk :   my  muse  takes  care  of  your  muse  while  they  are  in  a  drunken  state.

bed :   my  muse  wakes  up  in  the  same  bed  as  your  muse  with  little  recollection  of  the  night  before.

slap :   my  muse  slaps  your  muse  across  the  face  out  of  anger.

gone :   my  muse  stays  by  your  muses  side  while  they  take  their  last  breath.

scream :   my  muse  hears  your  muse  scream  and  quickly  runs  to  their  side.

sleep :   my  muse  falls  asleep  on  your  muse,  making  it  hard  for  my  muse  to  leave.

stalk :   my  muse  gets  caught  by  your  muse  trailing  behind  them,  watching  them.

sacrifice :   my  muse  jumps  in  front  of  your  muse,  sacrificing  their  life  for  your  muses  life.

trail :   my  muse  watches  as  your  muse  traces  one  of  my  muses  scares,  asking  them  about  it.

love :   my  muse  confronts  your  muse  about  why  they  never  say  ’ i  love  you ’  back.

piggyback :   my  muse  jumps  on  your  muses  back,  my  muse  gives  yours  a  piggyback  ride.

jump :   my  muse  runs  to  your  muse  and  jumps  up,  my  muse  holding  yours  up  by  their  thighs.

dance :   my  muse  holds  their  hand  out,  waiting  for  your  muse  to  come  out  and  slow  dance  with  them.

carry :   my  muse  carries  your  muse  to  their  house,  either  drunk,  or  a  weakened  state,  can  specify. 

lighter :   my  muse  pulls  out  a  lighter  and  lights  it  for  your  muse  to  use  to  light  their  cigarette.

shot :   my  muse  gets  shot  and  struggles  to  your  muses  house  for  aid.

wound :   my  muse  patches  and  bandages  a  wound  your  muse  has  gotten.

fight :   my  muse  stops  your  muse  from  getting  into  a  physical  fight  with  someone  else.

arrest :   your  muse  finds  my  muse  arrested  in  cuffs  with  swarming  police  everywhere.

hospital :   my  muse  awakens  in  a  hospital,  finding  your  muse  by  their  side,  asking  what  happened.

gun :  my  muse  pulls  out  a  gun  on  your  muse,  your  muse  tries  to  talk  them  into  putting  the  gun  down. 

betrayal :  my  muse  finds  out  that  your  muse  has  betrayed  them  in  same  way  and  confronts  them  about  it.

nude :  my  muse  walks  in  on  your  muse  accidentally  seeing  them  naked.

karaoke :  my  muse  pulls  your  muse  up  on  stage  with  them  to  sing  some  karaoke  songs. 

laughter :   my  muse  hears  your  muse  laughing  uncontrollably  and  approaches  to  see  if  they  are  okay.

murder :   my  muse  walks  in  on  your  muse  committing  a  gruesome  murder.

wet :   my  muse  strips  down  to  their  under  garments  and  runs  into  the  water,  motioning  for  your  muse  to  join  them.

[heartshop]

Zach Ling, ‘For Baron B.’

[goldtinged-a]

hello i logged in 2 say I love mr alec lightwood-bane with my whole heart

[lordsnow]

The Angel do so to me, and more also, If aught but death part thee and me. 

[goldtinged-a]

i lov never writing and just posting random ooc headcanons and shit about emma carstairs instead