Passing Days

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Heavy heart

It's been almost a good few years since my abortion. My heart is heavy, and my conscience is heavy. I have not told anyone, and neither has my husband. He probably feels more guilty than I do, but we don't talk about it. My husband is a sweetheart, he cares, and provides for me and my family. I feel bad, horrible, terrible, and all those words that makes me sound like a evil person. I made him marry me, and let him let me get an abortion. I love him, for better or worse. He hasn't once blamed me or made me feel guilty. I think about it almost everyday. I don't know how to let go. I don't know how to cope with it. Slowly, my strength is decreasing. My brain is being filled up with it when I'm not busy. Before you make any choice. Is it worth it?

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Korean husband is finally in the US

Just like the title, my Korean husband is finally here in the US. The process took about over 10 months, at least $800 spent on fees and paperworks, and lots of confusion. He is here. I think he is missing home, so I buy him Korean food now-and-then, buy him some jars or cucumber kimchi, regular kimchi, and he is happy; for now. Call home to his mother everyday, and still eating a bag of chips in one sitting... ... Arrived in October of 2016, just a couple days after our 2 year wedding anniversary, he received the 10-year immigration card. He applied for social security card while in Korea, but it never went through. We had to go to the social security office to apply for a card. Took about less than 1 week for his card to arrive. You can print out the form online or fill it out at the office while you're waiting for your number to be called. After you are done, you're done. Write down the name, stick in the mailbox where the mailman can see. It should arrive within 1 week, more than that? Call social security office. My husband in now trying to search for a job, it's going to be a while until he finds a job. He isn't used to people talking so fast yet, and with different accents makes it a little bit harder for him. But that's okay, since I waited almost a year to see hm again.

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Lastly

Finally, at last. My menstrual arrived last month. One of the things you should worry about after an abortion is: your period. Your period should be back within 4 - 6 weeks, at most 8 weeks. If it is not back, please go to your doctor. It is a sign of whether or not your body is back to its normal state or not. Also, please refrain from having any sexual intercourses. Before my period arrived, I also went back home. Minnesota, United States. My partner also came back with me, and extended his stay for another week; as it was our first, marriage, anniversary. I didn't do anything special for my body, but I did have a little bit of alcohol. You're not suppose to drink unless you felt comfortable to drink, but drink only a little, or if your body was back to normal. Ask your doctor first before taking action. Be patient with your body and it'll return to normal, and consult your doctor before doing anything that might be harmful to your body or for any questions.

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Girls in Korea

When moving to Korea, you have to have a lot of self confidence, self esteem. Why? Well, I personally think that some people might give into peer pressure, the social media, the social life, and just being surrounded by humans who look pretty or handsome. I have to say, if you're walking on a street in Gangnam for more than 1 hour, you will probably see some familiar faces. When I say familiar faces, I mean it's like the plastic surgeons have a base template and they do little changes here and there before the surgery; no big changes though. There has been so many time when I would walk in Gangnam and see a girl in a pretty dress, then like 1 minutes later same face, but different body shape and different clothes. My husband worked in Gangnam for a while, he told me the street he worked was basically plastic surgeryville. There are other areas in Seoul that have a street of clinics in a row. There are advertisements in trains, most of them are plastic surgery clinic advertisements. I am disappointed that Korean girls constantly look at the mirror, constantly putting on make-up, thinking about their weight, constantly thinking about looking pretty. Sure, it's great to want to look pretty, but do you really have to look at the mirror every 10 minutes? Some fashion choices that girls make here are also disappointing, now I'm not old fashioned. You don't have to dress like a nun, but don't dress like a whore. Some girls love to wear booty shorts. I mean legit booty shorts that you can see in music videos or something. You can totally see their butt cheeks, booty shorts. I have heard that Korean accepts shorts or skirts, just short; but up top in the boobie section, it's a no-no for cleavage to be showing. Most girls in Korea cover up their upper body's, but the lower body are all open. I guess it's okay, but ain't my style.

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The aftermath...

It's been about a week and 2 days after my abortion. My stomach was in pain, but tolerable; I didn't move much from my bed on those days. The day after the surgery, I went to see the doctor. It was just a regular check-up. Everything was alright, and was given two injections on my butt. I was also was subscribed new medicine. I stopped eating the medicine that given to me the day of the surgery. There was about 10 packs in the pouch, one pack for each meal in the day until finished. The second day, it was just another check-up. Nothing of concern, but received another butt injection. Only one injection during this visit, but the injection was actually painful this time. Every time I walked, it felt like my leg and my butt had just come out of a fight, but badly beaten. It felt alright the next day though. It was five days until my last doctors visit, it was Chuseok, Korean Thanksgiving. It was just another check-up, but still nothing of concern. No shot this time either, thank god. That was my last visit. Nothing else was given, no other directions. Any concerns or questions? Leave me a message!

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My choice...

Some of you may know and for those who don’t I’m currently living in Seoul, South Korea I have been living here for 9 months now, living with my Korean husband and his mother. I am pro-choice.

Some people probably won’t post about their experience, but I want to let other foreigners living in Korea– be careful, but if it does happen, this is what you can expect with abortion in Korea.

I found out four days ago I was pregnant. I took two self prego tests, both positive of two lines. I talked to the husband, and we both decided that this would be the best option. Abortion. The next day we went to an ob/gyn, it is a private hospital, and the lady doctor told us that I was about 5 weeks pregnant. The lady Doctor was religious, so she declined to do the operation, but said she would help us. She called the front desk people. The front desk ladies helped us set up time for the operation, and what would be happening.

Two days later, I had an abortion at 1230-ish. I was knocked out with anesthesia.

I thought anesthesia would be through a mask, but the hospital I went to uses a needle. There are three needles, one for the iv drop to drip through, and two unknown needles. One was stabbed the side of my butt, the other was through my wrist. The two of them are probably anesthesia, but I don’t know.

By the time I woke up, around 140, I was in the recovery room along with the iv drop hanging above, and my husband next to me-holding my hand. I woke up with pain in my stomach, and apparently that’s normal. I felt nauseous, probably because from the anesthesia and that I didn’t have anything to eat that day.

Not allowed to eat 4 hours before surgery.

Of course, abortion is illegal in South Korea. So they told us we had to pay in cash, 600.00 Won. I don’t know if that is their set rate or if it was because I was 5 weeks into pregnancy.

I received medicine, four different tablets, 3 different pouches. One pouch for each day, and each of those 3 days I am suppose to go back for a check up.

The nurse also said that I would be bleeding for about 1 to 2 weeks, 2 weeks the most. It’s suppose to be almost like a regular menstrual cycle, but if I bled too much or too many blood clots. I am to go back and see them about it.

Message me for any questions, I’ll be happy to help.

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Responsibility

Living with your mother-in-law in Asia means cleaning, being respectful, basically doing house work, and chores. My mother-in-law is nice, but she expects respect of action and words used in Korea; though I'm not 100% Asian. Although I was born in Taiwan, and moved to the U.S. When I was 7. There was never a hierarchy between my family, except my oldest sister (she was scary). Being a foreigner in Korea, it's hard to follow the formalities; so living with my mother-in-law is uncomfortable. She does try to treat me like her own child, but it's uncomfortable for me because I know she still expects formalities from me. Sometimes I wished I married a fellow American, because I know my manners are good enough for American parent-in-laws. I'm also sad because I want to cook stuff, but she will make comments like: Not enough salt or too bland Too salty Not spicy or no flavor Sometimes she will take out her fermented side dishes, which are all red and spicy. Filled with gochujang, and chili pepper flakes. I have tried cooking before, but it wasn't up to her standards; so I've stopped. My palate is more western than Asian. Seeking approval for everything is tiring... I hope to go back home soon.

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Round 500

Today marks another day with Christianity. The second worst encounter with Korean Christians. Christianity is one of the largest religion group, I know that. Asians used to be Buddhists, but have also ventured out into other religions. My parents are Buddhists, if I had to put them in one religion group, but they also probably believe in what other religions have to say, about the greater good. My parents never forced any religious stuff on me, nor did my friends.

Today, I was rewarded of having to spend dinner with my mother-in-law, which then turned into her talking about how great Christianity is. How she first met God, how she used to be a Buddhist, how her daughter studied hard because of God, how her son met me because of God, how she hopes that I will turn to God now I’m together with her son, how I should go to church, etc. First of all, I am an atheist. It’s not like I hate religion, I am very opened minded; but I don’t appreciate being coerced into becoming a follower of a religion. I appreciate all the different views that different religion brings.

My Korean mother-in-law is nice, but I feel stressed out having her tell me about my beliefs. Today, she asked what my parents religion is, I said Buddhists. After some talking about how Buddhism used to be popular, blah blah blah, that Christianity is what brought this family together, blah blah blah. She said something like: you’re parents are Buddhists, but you can be a Christian. You should go to church with Y.J.(husbands initials). It was like she was trying to convince me, Buddhists is not the “cool” thing anymore, and Christianity is; or another way to describe is, orange is the new black. After she said that, it made me dislike her a lot… More than it should… It is like trying to say, why didn’t my parents direct me to a religion, to Christianity. My parents raised me freely, with obedience, with guidance, with love, with a family. If I’d have known it would be like this moving to Korea, I don’t think I would have come. Every one around my husband wants me to become a follower of Christianity.

This marks, probably, the second worst encounter with Korean Christians. I know not everybody is like this.

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After moving to Korea, my skin has gotten a lot worse. Maybe it’s the air, the food, the temperature or everything combined. I have more pimples, my face is a lot redder, and I have whiteheads! This is one thing I bought to try, and fix my face.

Smell is nice, it smells like Swiffer, wet clothe. Like a lemony scent, but also a hint of house cleaning product. It’s not too harsh, and doesn’t make my face dry. It is a mild solution. So you can apply it to your whole face, like I do.

It doesn’t have a sticky afterwards feel like Clean&Clear Spot Treatment; which is awesome, cause I don’t like that feeling.

In Korea, this little tiny tube, I believe, is 18g; costs around 10$USD at Homeplus. I don’t know how much at Olive Young or Watsons…

Whiteheads are clogged pores with a lot of sebum underneath.

Comments or questions? Leave them!

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The story

It's the start of my marriage life. I married a Korean citizen, a Korean guy, a loving guy. He is 6 years older than I am. We married last October, and was only dating for a while. I am now living in South Korea, in the same house with his mother, with my mother-in-law. I am Taiwanese, and an American. Basically, I'm a banana. Yellow on the outside, white on the inside. I've only met his mother a few times before my move, and before we got married. Our marriage was an interracial marriage, but his mother was okay with it. She just wants her son to be happy. Keep in mind that most Asian parents, in Asia, are still narrow minded about interracial marriages. But, I have to admit that they are slowly opening their mind. My husband, he is really sweet and lovable. Most Taiwanese and Korean males will carry purses of their counterparts. I don't know if other countries in Asia also do the same. But my husband carries my purse, the groceries, and basically, anything that needs to be carried. Therefore, I don't actually carry anything, except holding his hand. I will end here for today. Thanks for reading! Any questions or comments? Leave them!

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Sangria&&Peach ice tea Happy Hongdae Day May 4, 2015

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Seoul, zoo 2015

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My picture for  Dreamstage Korea 2013 flyer, hehehe 

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Beginning of learning the choreography of

Sistar- How Dare You

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Night market performance practice G. NA- 2HOT