Wyatt Kang

King of the spoons, vampire extraordinary

[wyatts-spoons]

Peter wasn’t sure if Wyatt had been dodging Safiya’s calls or not, but honestly, the woman deserved it. She was a terrible boss and, despite paying Wyatt well, it wasn’t as though she was exceptionally pleasant to him either. It wasn’t really Peter’s job to worry about that, though. He was just supposed to make sure that the pictures were delivered, and he’d already done that. He was free of any further obligations. “Thank you. I’m sure she’ll appreciate that.” He lied, knowing that Safiya wasn’t one to appreciate much of anything. He was sure that she wasn’t that terrible a person outside of work, but she was very much a one-track mind kind of lady on the job.

Somehow, Peter was surprised that Wyatt didn’t like Valentine’s Day. He wasn’t entirely sure why, since what Wyatt was saying was somewhat true. “Yeah, it is kind of a lame holiday, and kind of sets people up for failure? It’s a really polarizing holiday.” And it wasn’t even an important holiday! Though he supposed that some people would argue that it was an important holiday, but he didn’t really see how that argument could hold any water. “Given how… I don’t know… laissez faire you seem about everything, I’m kind of surprised you’re so worked up about a holiday.”

Wyatt huffed at Peter’s comment, “Hah, yeah. Honestly don’t care what she says as long as the appreciation is 3 digits.” Wyatt gave up trying to get appreciation out of her a long time ago, the woman was impossible to please.  “Hmm yeah I wouldn’t know, never had a date on Valentine’s day,” Wyatt admitted, “But I’ve seen it ruin a couple of relationships, so I guess you’re probably right.” Wyatt sometimes wondered what it was like, being in a relationship like that where he could celebrate these holidays. Normally he quickly extinguished those ideas with a bottle of liqueur but lately...  “Why is that surprising?” Wyatt asked, genuinely curious of Peter’s answer. Sighing, he shrugged, “Normally I like holidays, the parties, festivals, all of it. But Valentine’s day isn’t like that. Everyone is just so... in love.” Furrowing his eyebrows a little, Wyatt watched the next couple step up while Dahlia adjusted the set up. “I guess... nevermind,” Wyatt discontinued the thought, realizing just who he was about to spill all his secrets to. Peter probably didn’t want to hear it. 

“So, you gonna go back to work or are you just using me as an excuse to say you got caught up?” He asked. Not that he particularly wanted Peter to leave, this was a nice change of pace for them and much preferable to dealing with couples for a bit. 

[wyatts-spoons]

peterims​:

It didn’t take a rocket scientist to tell that Wyatt was not in the best mood, and Peter had the sneaking suspicion that his presence there was partially to blame. “I told her that she could just call you, but she said something about you not answering your phone and wanting to make sure she got your attentio…” he frowned. Ah. Now he saw her game. “If you could just email them to her by end of day, I think that should be fine?” He said, not entirely sure himself given the fact that he’d only been given the vaguest of instructions. Looking at the couple who were giddily flicking through their photographs, Peter cleared his throat awkwardly and asked, “Have you guys been busy here?”

“Hmm”, Wyatt hummed, not even bothering to check his phone to see if the claim was true. It probably was, he was notoriously bad for ignoring phone calls and only responding to texts when he felt like it. “Yeah, checks out I suppose,” he sighed, making no comment on the other claim. Regardless of the implications, it had obviously worked, whether Wyatt would readily admit that right now or not.  “Mmk, I’ll send them when I take my stuff back to the shop, whenever that is” he said, making a mental note not to forget. He didn’t like Safiya, he wasn’t sure anyone genuinely did, but she also paid well and Wyatt preferred not to lose clients, especially those who could put him on blast.  Wyatt fully expected Peter to run off the moment he’d accomplished what he came for, but was rather well... pleasantly surprised when Peter made an attempt at conversation, however mundane it was. “Unfortunately. I hate Valentine’s day,” Wyatt scoffed, “People in love are so... cute. Who gave them the right to be that happy? and then gave them a holiday for it too?” Was he bitter right now? Maybe a little, but Valentine’s day was a special kind of hell, even if he was single by choice. 

[wyatts-spoons]

peterims​:

It was getting well past the point where Peter was tired of Safiya’s tyranny. Yes, it was true that he somehow managed to make really good coffee, and he had fixed the leaky sink in the bathroom, and various other things. Which was fine and dandy, but he really wanted to put his writing skills to use. Alas, here he was, on another errand on Safiya’s behest. This one involved going to another carnival and tracking down Wyatt, a task that seemed to give Safiya great pleasure. 

Thankfully, it didn’t take long for Peter to track Wyatt’s booth down. “Safiya sent me,” Peter said in way of greeting when he approached Wyatt at the booth. “She wants to know when we can expect the photos she ordered? She needs them for tomorrow’s paper.”

@wyatts-spoons

Wyatt snapped a photo of yet another disgustingly cute couple, sighing internally. Why did he agree to this again? Well, aside from the money he was making and the clout for his shop, of course. Letting the couple flick through the photos on the computer to decide which print they wanted, Wyatt took a step back to wait when a voice pulled him out of his daze.  “Well hello to you too,” Wyatt said, a little peeved at the formalities, all things considered, “She sent you all the way here to ask me that?” Contemplating the question for a moment, Wyatt nodded his head slightly, “Mhmm, yeah I’ve got them, they’re not exactly here though, does she need them right this second?” 

[wyatts-spoons]

simply-robbie​:

“Hypothetically… they march to the beat of their own drum,” Robbie said. Summarizing David was… probably an olympic sport if one did it right. 

“Seriously? Your advice is be more interesting?” Robbie repeated. He was stolid, practical, good at solving problems. Admittedly none of which were exactly sexy traits. “Wyatt - wait, no. Hypothetically-” hypotheticals were falling apart at this point, “-if someone already had something set up on Valentine’s, they might not need to spice things up. I mean, if it actually was a date.”

Why oh why had he bothered asking Wyatt. He was going to need a lot of therapy to undo this fiasco and they were just getting started.

Clearing his throat, he rephrased, “How do you know if it’s a date without straight out asking if it’s a date?”

“Uh... sure. Okay. I have no clue what that means exactly but sounds like you really know how to pick em’. But, that’s a you problem anyway, nothing I can do about that, so back to the issue at hand,” Wyatt said, infinitely more curious about who this mystery person was, but deciding to let it go. For now. The truth would come out eventually. 

“Yes? What do you expect to happen if you’re boring?” Wyatt huffed, rolling his eyes a little, “Landing a date, and knowing it’s a date, is just the start of it, and you haven’t even gotten that far in your hypotheticals. You always have to keep the other person interested if you want the first date to lead to a second one.” Running a hand through his hair, Wyatt smiled, “Not all of us can be this naturally interesting, after all.”   Pondering Robbie’s question for a moment, Wyatt laughed, “The answer’s obvious, isn’t it? Make it one. Don’t even consider that it’s not one, and do the things you’d do with a date anyway. You have been on a date before right?” Wyatt asked, raising an eyebrow, honestly not sure if he’d get a ‘yes’ at this point.  

[wyatts-spoons]

whirling butterflies

Would I kiss the last person I kissed again? 

Mmmmm... let me see.... no comment.  Just kidding. I think I’ve made it pretty clear how I feel about that though. Y’know, under the right circumstances and all that. 

[wyatts-spoons]

tiger lily

Do I have any hobbies? 

Not really, my original hobbies turned into my career. I’ve been dabbling in being a relationship guru lately though, maybe I should make it into an official hobby? 

[wyatts-spoons]

simply-robbie​:

Wyatt looked far too satisfied with himself for anyone’s good. Robbie could add this to his laundry list of poor life choices. 

“It’s hypothetical, Wyatt.” Robbie seemed to remember at this particular moment something about Wyatt and blackmail. The regrets were piling up like tears on tax day. This was fine. the world was on fire. “But, uhhh,” he tapped his fingers on the bar, “Hypothetically two people made plans that happen to be on Valentine’s Day. But one party is just… strange. Like are they flirting or are they just zoning out thinking about a sweater they really liked, you know?” 

“Ah, sure, hypothetical, whatever you say,” Wyatt said, waving off the technicalities and taking a sip of his cocktail while he listened. “Strange? That’s pretty vague,” he commented, unsure of what to make of that info,  “Are they... hypothetically strange around just you or strange in general? Because there’s a difference. You might want to rethink your life choices if it’s the latter,” he laughed, having been around far too many strange people in his lifetime.  “I... what? Jeez, you really do need my help. Tell me, exactly how are flirting and zoning out even in the same realm of interactions? Because I can tell you right now, if they’re zoning out, thinking about anything except you in that moment, they’re not interested,” Wyatt said matter-of-factly, “In which case, you need to be more interesting. Y’know, spice it up a bit?”

[wyatts-spoons]

simply-robbie​:

Robbie Lindsay knew that he had screwed up in his romantic life when he was wandering through a New Orleans carnival and considering taking Mr. Spoon Fetish up on his “advice” offer. 

But, Robbie might also have been the only person capable of kind of making a date on Valentine’s and then realizing that he wasn’t sure if it was a date at all. 

Desperate times. Questionable measures.

“So,” Robbie said by way of greeting, “hypothetically, how do you know if something is a date or if something is just a business thing, because apparently I can’t tell the difference.”

So. Many. Regrets.

@wyatts-spoons​ 

Hearing a voice, Wyatt spun around slightly on his bar stool, smirking at Robbie. “Glad to see you finally know what’s good for you,” he said, patting the other man on the shoulder. Now, Wyatt had little to no experience actually dating (his own choice, mind you) but what could be so complicated about it?  “Did either of you specify it was a date?” he asked plainly, quirking an eyebrow, “I’m going to assume the answer is no if you have to ask.” Pondering for a moment, Wyatt concluded he needed more information, “So, tell me about it, how exactly did this... arrangement happen?” 

[peterims]

Where was the last place you kissed someone and how was it?

I would rather not talk about it, thank you. 

[wyatts-spoons]

peterims​:

**Peter.exe has stopped working**.  …. I mean, I wasn’t going to half ass the dare???

Is that so? I mean, I’m not one to half ass a dare either but you seem a little unsure about your answer

[wyatts-spoons]

shamelessstripperjazz​:

I love you, does that count?

.... I guess. But you know what I mean. Just let me be salty and dramatic for awhile. 

[wyatts-spoons]

At least someone loves and appreciates my kisses. Cats are superior to people anyway. 

[peterims]

Where was the last place you kissed someone and how was it?

I would rather not talk about it, thank you. 

[wyatts-spoons]

peterims​:

Overconfidence in not a good look on you, my dude. It was a dare. Don’t read too much into it.

Not overconfidence, just facts. Is that what it was? Because I remember the dare being for a kiss, not a full on make out session. But okay sure, whatever you say. 

[peterims]

Where was the last place you kissed someone and how was it?

I would rather not talk about it, thank you. 

[wyatts-spoons]

peterims​:

Bold of you to assume that there will be a next time, public place or otherwise.

I’m not assuming anything, I know there will be. The denial is cute though, albeit getting kind of old. Much more fun to just give in. 

[peterims]

Where was the last place you kissed someone and how was it?

I would rather not talk about it, thank you. 

[wyatts-spoons]

peterims​:

I’m not ashamed of anything. I just don’t think it is some online randos business who I kissed, where I kissed them, and if I enjoyed it or not. Especially since I am 90% sure that the person who sent that ask is my boss.

Okie dokie, whatever helps you sleep at night I guess. You might not want to go around kissing people in very public bars if you want things to stay private then. Just saying. Y’know, for next time ;) 

[peterims]

Where was the last place you kissed someone and how was it?

I would rather not talk about it, thank you. 

[wyatts-spoons]

Wow, the duality between this and the other night is astounding. Too ashamed to admit you kissed me? Like it a little too much maybe? 

[wyatts-spoons]

Do you have siblings? Are you close to them?

I have a younger sister. We used to be close before I had to skip town for... reasons. Honestly, not sure if she’s still alive but wouldn’t be surprised if she was purely out of spite. 

[wyatts-spoons]

Are you an organ donor, and how did you come to that decision?

Can I even donate organs as a vampire? It’s not like vampires have organ failure and I doubt any human wants them. If my body somehow isn’t a pile of ash IF I die, go nuts. Use them for satanic rituals, make a trophy, I don’t care.