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[Proxy] Twisted Wonderland - Valentine Gift 2023
Same as last year, this year too you can send a valentine gifts and receive a message card + novelties as a return. The novelty for this year is a macaron-style mirror and each character will have their own design
I am closing my order on 28 Feb. Estimated shipping: June 2023
DM me here or if you still use twitter, mine is @/angelic1408 to place your order
If you buy from chik fil a you do not support LGBT+ people. It doesn't matter who you vote for or how many gay friends you have. It doesn't matter how good you think the food taste. If you buy from chik fil a you do not support LGBT+ people. Yes even if you are LGBT+ yourself.
They are avoidable.
You can get food some where else.
wait i thought they had changed???
but yea, chick-fil-a isnt even tht good 😭
They changed??? When???
idk when
I wrote an essay on this actually. (Yes Chick-fil-A sucks balls.) After a lot of pushback from the millions of dollars they donated to the salvation army and the fellowship of christian athletes (2 well disguised hate groups), they publicly declared they would cutoff donate to those groups. They have not released a public apology or any criteria for what charities they donate to now, which most likely demonstrates that it was just to save face without actually improving. Also you can very easily find their recipes online. No chicken sandwich is worth the cost of human fucking rights, don't buy Chick-fil-A
Whether or not we want to admit it, it is impossible to talk positively about Hogwarts Legacy without harming a community of human beings.
I did play the review copy of Hogwarts Legacy I received. What I found was a competently-made, semi-open world action RPG with a fairly linear storyline, basic character progression with very limited build expression or variety, and a combat model that was absolutely functional, but ultimately felt one-note and grew swiftly repetitive.
I experienced no major bugs, but nor did I find much to make it stand out in the plethora of action RPGs available. If you choose not to buy Hogwarts Legacy, you won’t be missing out on any huge gameplay innovations, or a new paragon of the action-RPG genre. It’s very clear while playing that the Harry Potter IP is the star of the show, and every gameplay decision has been made to facilitate and showcase the IP to its fullest.
I remember when the Harry Potter fandom was a sanctuary for LGBT+ kids who felt isolated, like outsiders. There was a beautiful idea I read once about the stairs of Hogwarts, specifically the girl’s dormitory stairs that would allow girls to climb up but not boys, and vice versa. A closeted trans girl, lonely and desperately craving validation, would attempt to enter her assigned (dreaded) dorm, only for the stairs to deny her because the stairs knew that her gender wasn’t what the world said it was. Magic, pure and objective without bias or prejudice, knew their identity just as the child did themselves. The gendered staircase concept has a lot of problematic elements that could be unpacked (the binary nature, etc.) but magic as a force of validation? Beautiful.
Of course, that’s not the truth of the Harry Potter IP. Rowling has made it very clear that a trans girl would find no validation in her world. No love or support. The more I played Hogwarts Legacy, and the longer I spent in the classrooms and grounds of Hogwarts, the sadder I felt at how tainted the franchise has become. That sanctuary is gone – it no longer exists for us.
Does buying Hogwarts Legacy make you a transphobe? Is one bad action enough to make you a bad person? After all, one bucket of sand doesn’t make a beach, and one tree doesn’t make a forest.
But if you buy this game, you’re making a choice. You’re choosing to support J. K. Rowling, even if just in a small way. And if you knowingly weigh the costs and decide that your personal enjment of a video game is worth supporting a trans-exclusionary radical feminist, that indulging your nostalgia is more valuable than supporting the transgender community?
…well, one tree might not make a forest, but it sure is more than none.
Honestly, this shit with Hogwarts Legacy is just like what happened with Chick-fil-A like ten or fifteen years ago. Some of y'all might be too young to remember it, but it went almost exactly like this shit today, only the target was technically gay people (not like we aren't all lumped together when push comes to shove, but gay was the political scapegoat in US politics at the time, as trans people were still on the fringes of social awareness).
It came out that the people who own Chick-fil-A were donating to organizations in other countries that were actively working to get gay people there killed, and were also very monetarily invested in stripping gay people of any legal rights they'd amassed in the US. So a lot of queer folks were asking for allies to boycott Chick-fil-A to show solidarity.
And it turned into a giant fuckin circus for bigots to rally around. There was even a support Chick-fil-A day, I remember it because I was a server at the time and our restaurant was empty most the day - while the line for Chick-fil-A down the road was like a mile long consistently.
But while that was obviously annoying, that wasn't what hit people the hardest. Cuz we expect clowns to wear the shoes, right, it's not shocking.
What disappointed people, or really demoralized a lot of young queers at the time especially, was the allies who would still go there. Because they like the sandwiches or fries or whatever. The people who'd march with them in the parade or be supportive of marriage equality, who would then turn right around and give their money to people who were trying to actively harm their friends.
Because the chicken was good.
I remember a friend of mine being really just absolutely broken up over that, trying to understand some of her friends reasoning and at the time I couldn't give her an answer. I could now, though.
And it's this:
Talk is cheap.
It costs nothing to say things. A person can say whatever the hell they want, any feel good flowery thing, and it doesn't really cost them.
But when they are asked to actually give something up - or put their money where their mouth is and just....can't do it. Well then there isn't much else for them to say, is there? At least nothing that's worth anything.
Some people had to find out the hard way that the choice between a chicken sandwich and funding people who did not believe in their dignity as a human being was, in the eyes of certain allies, apparently really hard. Too hard, in fact.
These allies would march in the colorful parades and go to the bars for drinks, but in the end, you couldn't actually depend on them to inconvenience themselves. They were fair weather allies, and they were there for the party and that's about it . They wanted entertainment, and it didn't matter if that came from having fun gay friends or a tasty sandwich.
This is the same thing, really, or pretty close to it.
These types of people just wanna have fun. Either you, their friend or whatever, are fun or the game is fun, and if you stop being fun by incidentally making them feel a little guilty about where they spend their money , then they might just choose the thing that doesn't make them currently uncomfortable.
And I'm not saying these people who say trans rights online but who also really, really want to play wizard game and already have are horrible people or anything - they're just not very good. They have no real character. And unfortunately there's not much you can do to change that, other than investing time and energy in people who do.
why is no one talking about the possibilities of the madrigal family lowkey being cryptids like???? encanto gothic is RIGHT THERE
it's sunny. suddenly it isn't. suddenly it is. suddenly it's raining. hard. lighting is everywhere. you're terrified to step outside
your future has been seen. you cannot do anything to change it. it's known. it is out of your hands. there's nothing you can do, except hold the green glass in your hands
you break your hand. you eat an arepa. your hand is working again. perfectly. too perfectly.
you whisper a secret. you know she's listening. you know she knows, and she knows you know. you look at her across the town and ask her under your breath to not tell a soul. she knows everything you've every said
the rock is 10 times your size, and it's flying into the air, like a feather. she catches it and snaps it because it is a feather in her hands. it's a rock, and if you tried to catch it, it would snap you
you look across the street and see yourself, walking the other way. talking to other people. you hear your own voice in your ears. you disappear in the crowd
there are flowers everywhere. between the cracks in the sidewalks and inside walls and busting outside of pots. you're afraid to touch it in case it'll break. it grows bigger and stronger and taller than you
the birds are flying in a perfect pattern. they dive in synchronization. it's too perfect. they land in order. they chirp and he answers. he's sitting on a tiger. the tiger looks at you and you walk away
Summer and morty sneaking into therapy
“I just- I just feel so useless sometimes,” Morty said. “Rick’s always tellin’ me it’s stupid to give a shit about yourself. An- and I know he doesn’t, and I know Summer doesn’t, but sometimes I… I just get so scared.”
“There’s nothing wrong with fearing the danger you’re in, Morty,” Dr. Wong replied. Sometimes he couldn’t help but wonder if she was just trying to make him feel better- her words were so very different from what everyone else said about it. “Rick’s choices are his own- whether that choice be something as simple as what’s for his breakfast, or as complex as if he feels like living. It’s not right of him to drag you two into it.”
Summer finally glanced up from her phone. They’d realized early on that the device was a good way to settle her nerves- and, when she occasionally went nonverbal, communicate. “Grandpa always says being scared just means we don’t trust him.”
“And that’s not fair of him to assume. Rick might be the smartest man in the universe, but he’s still a man. You’ll be hard-pressed to find anyone willing to even give their idea of God that kind of trust.”
“Try tellin’ him that,” Morty snorted.
“Have you spoken to Beth or Jerry about it?”
They exchanged a look. It was Summer who replied. “Grandpa doesn’t really listen to dad, and he usually just twists mom’s words around.”
“She realizes it,” Morty added. “She- she let’s him. They’re kind of, like, constantly locked in battle? I mean, Rick has to know we’re here. He bugs everything and everyone. But he hasn’t told her yet. He’s waiting to- to throw it in her face. And now that there’s two moms, it’s only gotten worse. And you- you know how Rick is about being right.”
“The vat of avid?”
“Yeah, the vat of acid.”
Surprise! I felt like making a part two:
“Summer,” Dr. Wong said. “You’ve been really quiet this session.”
She scoffed, letting her hands fall to her lap. “There isn’t much to say. There’s two moms now and they’re feeding off each others’ egos. Dad’s still a pathetic coward. It’s gonna be a pain in the ass until something breaks.”
Dr. Wong does that thing she does, where she scribbles at a notebook. Summer had asked her what she was doing, once, half-expecting her to have a list on their individual fuck-ups. Dr. Wong had turned the clipboard around and shown her scribbles. She said they helped her focus.
“Jerry is… something,” she said finally. “But you seem to push your anger more on him than Beth. Why is that?”
There was a million answers to that, from him refusing to throw out food when there was a spoonful left to him getting a flat on the way to the clinic. Summer picked what felt the most apt. “He’s a fucking coward. He was like this when they were divorced too- laying around, being fucking useless. He got a hot alien gf and he spent their entire relationship being space racist because he thought she would make mom jealous and that’s why he got with her. Now that mom is getting high on her own feelsies or whatever the fuck he’s just moping around waiting for them to suddenly be down for a threesome or some shit. And he probably’ll get it, too, the dick.”
“He keeps winning battles he doesn’t fight,” Dr. Wong surmised. “You resent that.”
“Do you know how many things I had to kill just to get the money for this session?” Summer said, cold as ice. “Making dime off of Rick is like pulling fucking teeth. Jerry can kiss my ass and use that luck to make a damn of himself. I’ve had to do it my whole life.”
I wonder if Mirabel is the favorite Madrigal for most of the town.
Because while there's some obvious pity there for her being the only born Madrigal without a gift she's still, well, the only born Madrigal without a gift. The only Madrigal that's like the rest of them.
I mean clearly Encanto is a close community and they all love the Madrigal's for how they help the town but they're still a bunch of super powered people in an isolated place. It wouldn't surprise me if at some point down the line they started being looked at with some fear, like what was already happening with Bruno.
It's like that one post that talked about the potential of "Encanto Gothic" and the unsettlingness of the Madrigal's gifts. Like there are some things that can be turned to fear or can be used the see the family as gods.
Never say anything bad about the Madrigal's, they will always know. Your secrets are never really secret for she hears all.
Are you sure you really know who you're looking at? How can you ever be sure if it's truly your mother or friend you're speaking to. You see your brother joking and laughing with another you down the road, he doesn't seem to realize its not you.
Don't invoke the wrath of the eldest triplet, lest you want a hurricane to appear at the drop of a hat and blow you away.
Dont upset the youngest, he may be all thats keeping the jaguar from eating us all.
Nothing can get in or out of Encanto thanks to those mountains, the Madrigal magic made sure of it.
But then you have Mirabel. Who's giftless like the rest of the town. Who is clumsy and a bit awkward. Who reminds them that the Madrigal's are still human. That they, while blessed with incredible abilities, aren't gods separate from everyone else.
While the town was probably very confused and concerned when Mirabel didn't get a gift, there was still likely some subconscious relief and a bit more appreciation for her.
Happy Bean’s Day
*Sounds of bean shooters could be heard*
YN/MC/Yuu: *Shooting at Pomefiore and Savanaclaw students* Why are you running now?! Is it because we are on an even ground now? Come back here you limp noodle!
Cater: *Recording for Magicam*
YN/MC/Yuu: HAHAHAHAHA
*Meanwhile on the sidelines*
Trey: You should discipline your students better if the Prefect, of all people, are going after them like this.
Vil and Leona: …
single handedly the FUNNIEST reaction to sneasler ive ever seen (x)
i have a theory that your favorite protagonist as a child shaped your entire person (fashion, personality, interests etc) so write your favorite childhood protagonist in the tags and explain if it’s true or false
Hisuian Zorua dying in the wilderness after being shunned and exiled by humans who were unjustly afraid of them and coming back out of malice…quite the familiar story, wouldn’t you agree, Commander?
Thoughts on Bella Swan? I don’t think she deserves the amount of hate she gets. I’m living for Blue Moon and Carlisle and Bella’s Bogus Journey, love your stories!!!
I actually just responded to a PM about that so rather than rant again I’ll simply copy and paste my response here. Yay recycling!
-
Personally? I think people give Bella very little credit as a character.But oh man, where to even start.Bella’s full of personality but suffers from cripplingly low self-esteem and, later, depression. Bella’s home life with her mother before the series begins is complicated and not the best. It’s not abusive, or anything, but it’s heavily implied that Renee is a very self-centered person who never really grew up and never should have been raising a daughter.As a result, Bella’s this odd mix of having to take care of adult responsibilities such as shopping, paying the bills, budgeting the finances, and planning anything of importance but also being a child. More to the point, Bella grows up feeling that she’s worth less than those around her (especially her mother) as she reputedly has the personality of a boring old man. This is something her mother is cited as telling Bella frequently, Bella’s responsible and thus boring. Bella loves her mother deeply and doesn’t see the issues with any of this (having cripplingly low self esteem) but it leaves its mark on her.Important to remember is that while Bella (and Edward) believes she’s this independent very mature almost adult like figure, she isn’t. Sure, she takes care of a lot of adult responsibilities earlier than her peers, and she’s a fairly bright character, but she very much acts like a seventeen-year-old girl. She’s overdramatic, she feels horrifyingly awkward and has this distorted perception of herself (Bella adamantly believes she isn’t attractive), she tends not to think decisions through or consider the lives and feelings of others for all she isn’t a bad person, there are worrying cues in the relationships she enters that a seventeen-year-old would miss but a twenty-something-year-old probably wouldn’t.Cue Edward. Edward, the prettiest boy Bella’s ever seen in her life, who famously shows interest in no one and nothing becomes obsessed with her. Bella, for the first time in her life, is special to this wonderful special boy. She falls deeply into puppy love and cements her entire self-worth on this idea that somehow, despite how boring and clumsy and stupid she is, Edward loves her. This, of course, makes it all the more devastating when he leaves her in the most callous manner he can. Bella is not only worthless again she’s worth even less than she was before Edward came into her life.Bella drowns in depression, attempts to kill herself (though never acknowledges this was what she was doing), and only manages to claw her way out of depression again when Edward’s suddenly back in her life and interested in her again. Bella dives head first back into their relationship, terrified that he’ll leave her and she’ll enter that black pit again, and then the rest of the series happens.Point being, I wouldn’t call Bella bland at all. She’s what I would expect from a precocious high school girl with dangerously low self-esteem who unwittingly ends up in the worst situation she can. Beyond that, she has a very pragmatic and quirky outlook on life, routinely making these strange and often ridiculous decisions that internally make sense but confound the world around her. For example, one time Bella convinces herself she can win a battle with a vampire if she stabs herself: it doesn’t work.I think people tend to think of her as bland, whiny, and boring because… well, I hate to say this, but it’s because everyone else does. Twilight’s the cool thing to hate on, Bella especially, and people can say “Man, isn’t it stupid how Bella just acts like a zombie for an entire novel? She’s a park bench” (that these are also the same people who claim they are fully supportive of those with mental health issues, such as depression, often worries me).But yes, that’s my two cents on Bella.
yes. ive spoken about this before I think but the way bella reacts in new moon is completely understandable. when my ex left me in a horrible way, actually very similar to edward, I had a major psychotic break and went insane for about half a year. my self esteem was already shitty but it plunged to an all time low, which im still recovering from. I did literally anything to feel alive, including putting myself in danger the way bella did.
when I see people being cruel about bella, I cant help but relate that to me. I see people call her weak and stupid and boring and whiney and “why can’t she just get over it?” and its extremely similar to the shit I said about myself when my ex left.
but grief isn’t just for people dying, it can be for the loss of a relationship. bella grieved for a life she hoped to have, for a family she hoped to have too. she was grieving and she showed all the signs of PTSD.
the way bella dealt with grief and trauma, although unhealthy, was pretty normal. any grieving or traumatised people will say the same. so when you call her crazy or weak, remember there are people out there who will hear that and feel theyre crazy and weak too.
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Not the same anon but what about plain reshuffling the pairings? Not to fix them but just to see another mess, since the canon ones don't work I don't see why not put them with someone else that could be even worse 😂 so who would you put with who and why? And how would this make things worse?
Oh anon, you delightful person.
I think...
Edward and Carlisle
Edward, upon waking up, decides he wants to be Carlisle's lover. Carlisle is taken aback, oh this was not what he had in mind when he was thinking of a companion, at all. And Edward is so very young.
But he's very lonely, Edward is very insistent, and Carlisle did make this kid a vampire for his own sake.
Edward uses his gift to get inside Carlisle's head and manipulate him into sleeping with him.
In true It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia title card style, Carlisle sleeps with a minor.
Esme, Edward, and Carlisle polycule
Esme wakes up into this new life to find the beautiful doctor she loved since she was a child has given her immortality. She will get to live with him and his companion, a boy she immediately takes a liking to. "Is this your son?" she asks Carlisle pleasantly, and he grimaces. "Not quite," he says, but doesn't elaborate because... yes.
Esme and Edward bond, she starts to view him as a son and he sees her a mother, and Carlisle wonders when is the right time to tell her that he is in fact fucking said son. Which, given the time period Esme is from, and how very old Carlisle is while Edward would be a minor even if he was still human, is going to look like he's taking advantage.
("Aren't you?" a cursed voice in Carlisle's subconscious asks.)
Edward eventually comes to him, grinning, and tells him that Esme has feelings for him. Carlisle cries, because now he has to not only ruin himself in her eyes by telling her he's in fact banging a seventeen-year-old, but he has to reject her as well. Oh, this is terrible.
Edward suggests he simply not tell her. How would she find out?
Carlisle stares.
Edward goes on to explain that with his gift, if they're careful about it then they should be able to carry on their affair, they'll just have to be a little bit more discrete. Carlisle can marry her, and then they'll be happy together while Esme gets to mother Edward. Of course, Carlisle would have to step up to the father role in this scenario, but that shouldn't be a problem, yes?
He beams at Carlisle with all the confidence of a man who just came up with a fantastic plan.
Carlisle stares.
Alternatively, Edward could seduce Esme, he's pretty sure he could pull it off. Then there should be no trouble!
Carlisle breaks up with him.
Outraged, Edward leaves. If Carlisle won't be his anymore then to hell with it all, even the diet!
Carlisle and Esme
Esme and Carlisle are both terrible upset by this, and oh boy, now they're each other's solace. Their feelings for each other get that much stronger now that they're the only thing the other has.
Carlisle is falling for this woman. After he had sex with his last creation as well, he hates himself for this.
And more- he can't in good conscience get into a serious relationship with a good woman without being honest with her.
So, one day, he takes her aside, and gives her the "There's something I need to tell you about my past," opener.
Oh, okay. Esme is oddly disappointed but she figures it's to be expected that someone as old as Carlisle would have had his dalliances.
Only to be met with Carlisle telling her about how he had sex with the guy in the old paining, and, uh, his wife as well. It was a wild time.
(Because goddamnit, if he's going to come clean then he will come clean, Esme is getting every sock of Carlisle's dirty laundry)
He also... may have slept with Edward.
Now Esme's up.
Esme finds herself fighting the absurd urge to ask if Carlisle would have sex with Charles Evenson, given the chance. He wouldn't.
... or would he?
She agrees to be just friends with Carlisle, because boy did he give her something to think about.
(She'd be fine with it if it was just Aro, or just Sulpicia, or even just Edward, but- the haunting thought that Carlisle might go for it with Charles proves to be too much.
That, and she couldn't bear it if she married Carlisle Cullen, finally had the perfect husband, only to be cheated on. Carlisle apparently is promiscuous, and... she doesn't know if she could handle that. Scratch that, she knows she couldn't.)
Carlisle and Rosalie
A few years later, Carlisle comes upon Rosalie Hale, who has been raped and left to die in the streets. He doesn't even think about it, he brings her home to bite.
Esme sighs a weary sigh at the sight of this beautiful, young, blonde woman: clearly, Carlisle has grown tired of waiting.
Rosalie, on waking up, finds herself saved by this beautiful, single, man. The woman who was posing as his wife is in fact just a friend, but she seems to think Rosalie is to be his bride instead. Just as Esme was once supposed to be.
Carlisle gives no indication he's interested in Rosalie, and she's not sure how she feels about that. This man is insanely beautiful, he's kind, and she's so very alone in this brave new world that according to him consists of nothing but bloodthirsty demons.
Who, realistically, are her options?
She's depressed enough, and lonely enough, to start signaling at Carlisle. It's not even really about him, but about not being so damned lonely all the time.
Carlisle still can't believe he had an affair with Edward, so sure. He can do this.
Rosalie and Emmett
She finds a beautiful man dying in the woods, brings him home for reasons not altogether clear to her.
She waits by a river with Edward, and wonders who this man will be to her. Could they become-
She tentatively allows herself to hope.
ALAS
Esme and Emmett
Esme comes to adore this bright-eyed young man who always makes her laugh, and she seeks him out. Emmett, on his end, develops feelings for this sweet and warm yet hopelessly melancholic woman. Esme is rocking those damsel vibes, yo.
Rosalie is hot! Very hot!
But, goddamnit, something wins out in Emmett and he decides to make Esme happy or so help him god.
(That, and learning that Rosalie fucked Carlisle is--
Carlisle?!
Emmett's not sure what to do with that one.)
Alice and Edward
Alice had it all sorted out.
On waking up to this new life, she saw Jasper's face, she saw the Cullens, she knew where she would have to go to find him and then find her family. It was going to be great.
A few decades and much whoring shenanigans later, and Edward is now eating rapists and crying in San Francisco while Carlisle bangs is out with his would-be daughter because- Alice doesn't even know, what the fuck.
She realizes that if she wants to get everyone in one place, perhaps not fucking the right people but at least in the same place-
She has to entice Edward back to them. More, she has to distract him from Carlisle.
So she seeks him out, tells him she has seen them together, for her gift is to be Sybil. This is a great love, Edward. And through it, you will see Carlisle again (the trick is to make him think he's got a shot without actually promising anything).
Alice, Edward and Jasper polycule
Well, the OG plan is off.
What we're left with is...
"Hi! I'm Alice! I have the solution to all your problems. Come with me and Edward!"
Because goddamnit, Alice's visions were set that she would be with Jasper, and just because the plan had to deviate some doesn't mean she's giving up on it.
Jasper is too depressed to say no.
Edward wants to prove to Carlisle that this can work and he was a fool to turn down the E&E&C wonderfulness all those years ago.
Carlisle and Jasper
The polycule is nominal only, in reality Alice is with Edward and Jasper is the afterthought.
Carlisle feels bad for him.
Bella and Carlisle
Somehow, Bella ends up entangled with the Cullens despite all that's changed, and she is once again set to become a vampire.
Trouble is, she wants her human experience first.
Carlisle sighs, but unzips. He has accepted his fate as the Cullen family whore.
Rosalie and Carbella lovechild
A child is born from Bella and Carlisle's sting in the jacuzzi.
A child that is sent with Rosalie to live someplace far, far, away, because THIS HOUSE IS A DEN OF SIN. RUN, MY SON.
Rosalie has no intentions of sleeping with her nephew/stepson/?? but goddamnit, after all the incest she's on high alert.
Bonus: Aro and Carbella lovechild
Aro runs across an utterly beautiful young man who looks eerily like Carlisle. The man may have a funky heartbeat (a new species?! EXCITING), and Caius may judge him forever, but damnit, Aro's heading over to flirt.
Carbella lovechild laughs and giggles, and Aro nods to himself, you know what, this kid is great. Might be time to fool around with someone not Carlisle, you know?
He touches Carbella lovechild's hand.
And dies.
Perhaps the worst of all is learning that Carlisle has a harem family now.
There's this sort of trope I've noticed in a lot of Twilight fanfiction where the Cullens do not return as quickly as they did in canon during New Moon and somehow inexplicably run into Bella years later, when she's in her early-to-mid twenties and I was wondering how you think this would go? In my head the Cullens would skedaddle the second they got a whiff of Bella, but suspending disbelief there I always have a hard time buying it whenever older Bella ends up back together with Edward.
I think it depends on the Cullen in question, or, if it’s all the Cullens together.
The Yoko Ono Effect
To be honest, if the Cullens had stayed away in New Moon, I don’t think they would have made it as a singular unit to five-ten years down the road. The cracks were already to show even a few months in.
This isn’t to say Bella is responsible for the collapse of the Cullens, I believe they’re doomed anyway, but she serves as a catalyst.
After leaving Forks in New Moon the Cullens immediately begin drifting apart.
Edward is despondent and depressed, within a few weeks leaves the coven, and travels down the continent until he reaches Rio where he stays for months. Note, Edward knew by the time he hit Rio that he had long since lost Victoria’s trail (for the record, he lost her in Mexico) but I think it’s very telling he does not return to the coven.
I don’t think Edward was ever coming back.
This puts a significant strain on Emse, as Edward is far and away her favorite child, and she’s noted as being anxious and severely unhappy with Edward’s disappearance. In time, I believe this would lead to the collapse of Esme and Carlisle’s dumpster fire marriage (which at this point only survives on denial and miscommunication).
Alice and Jasper leave the group to both a) get out of dodge b) investigate Alice’s past. While they do later return things are... awkward.
Rosalie desperately tries to keep the family together, tells Edward the bad news to a) be the only one with the balls to tell him and b) hopefully get him to come back to the family. This, obviously, doesn’t work.
I think without Bella’s suicide attempt the coven would have broken apart probably within the year. Rosalie desperately would have tried to keep them together, but Esme would crack and go to be with Edward, Carlisle would let her go, Alice and Jasper would probably keep their heads down and go on extended honeymoons, and eventually they all realize there’s just nothing to go back to.
They go their separate ways.
The Cullens Are Still Cullening
But lets pretend that things work out.
Edward gets tired of being depressed in Rio and comes back to... be depressed with the family. To be honest, I don’t think he’d get over this. Edward was severely depressed before Bella.
He was very contemptuous not only of his own family but of humanity in general. Yes, he has this very strange idolation of humanity but he also views them as inherently beneath him and lesser. High school is his purgatory where he listens to the mundane thoughts of mundane mayfly humans.
He outright despises Jasper and Rosalie and even Carlisle, who he adores, he often views as something of a fool in great need of Edward’s personal protection.
Edward has lost all passion in life, even in his hobbies like music, and is slowly but surely spiraling down into a place where he can never recover. His obsession with Bella, while far from a good thing, brings light back into his life.
This is an Edward who gave that all up and willingly returns back to what he used to be. And I think that would destroy something in him. Frankly, I think it’d leave him in an even worse place than canon.
So, if the Cullens run into a now adult Bella...
Well, it’d be a clusterfuck.
Edward will be very conflicted as he tried to leave for Bella’s own good but now she’s done exactly what he wanted. She grew up and got over him, Edward presumably means nothing to her now.
Worse, there is now such a gap between them. Edward is physically much younger than she is now, he poses as a high school student while she’s an adult. Bella’s fears were warranted, she’s too old for him now, and in many ways has outgrown him.
If Bella’s in any sort of relationship with anyone, I think Edward would flip his lid, and murder her significant other. As he often fantasized murdering Mike as well as her nameless future husband. If she’s single...
I think with enough time, distance, and therapy Bella would be able to make significant strides towards a healthier mindset. She’d get over her depression and in turn over Edward. She might be angry at him for a while but in time would likely decide that he had left her for what were immature but noble reasons.
What they had was nice, but the relationship was never going to last. Even when she was a teenager, she knew this, which was why she so desperately wanted to be a vampire.
She likely might talk to him to find closure, but I imagine a more mature Bella realizes they know nothing about each other. She’s had so much time in her life now without him and he’s so different from what she remembered, younger. There’s no way to start a relationship, more, Edward himself realized it was never going to work.
I imagine Edward doesn’t take this well either. For all that Edward says he wants certain things, really, he does an impressive job making sure Bella never ran from him. Bella legitimately not being interested in him would destroy him and... likely lead to him devouring Bella eventually.
After all, Alice had predicted that Edward would not be able to stay away and that, ultimately, there are only two futures for Bella: death or vampire.
Edward Comes Back Alone
Alice had predicted that Edward would not be able to keep his distance from Bella. He tries twice. Once, in Twilight, when Alice first announces that Edward is in love with Bella and she will become a vampire. The second time is New Moon.
The first, he cracks in a week. It just doesn’t work out and Edward has a minature crisis over it and tells himself it’s fine because he has to protect her from spiders therefore he has to be in her life AND THIS IS FINE.
The second, he notes that he’s dangerously close to cracking and Alice predicted he couldn’t do it. He makes it six months, but does confess to Bella he often considered finding her again and watching her life from the shadows in Rio.
So, I highly doubt that Edward would make it to five or ten years or that he’d make it with the Cullens. He probably comes back alone by the time Bella’s senior year starts, and intends to watch her from the shadows.
Now, given the plot of Twilight, he realizes that nothing’s working out. Bella’s not free from the supernatural, as her best friend/potential new love interest is a werewolf who might maul her any second now. She’s being hunted by Victoria and everything’s spiralling out of control.
So, Edward probably gives up the charade fast and comes back to get Jake out of the picture and be very upset with Bella for ruining his plan. Bella’s just glad Edward is back. Given Edward probably calls the entire family back, who likely have nothing to say to this nonsense, things proceed pretty much as in canon.
Jasper Runs Across Bella
Considering the last time he saw her, Jasper would run like the hounds of hell are on his heels. This is a world in which he never sees much of Bella after the birthday incident and, as a result, is still mired in guilt. He can’t imagine Bella’s reaction upon seeing him in the wild nor does he want to.
Rosalie Runs Across Bella
Rosalie likely makes no contact. She probably views Bella with bitterness, sees her as the reason for the collapse of her family, and never understood Bella’s appeal in the first place. However, for all Rosalie’s bitterness, she wouldn’t take it out on Bella mostly because there’s nothing to say.
She’d just choose to be distantly happy for Bella that she got to live her human life and glad she adjusted well.
Emmett Runs Across Bella
Emmett and Bella don’t actually know each other that well, Emmett certainly has no personal connection with her. He wouldn’t make contact because it’d be awkward and would piss off Rose.
Alice Runs Across Bella
Alice doesn’t agree with Edward, but she’s also proving a point to him and ultimately values Edward far more than she does Bella. She’ll abide by his rules and not speak to Bella. Also, she sees that if she tries, there’s no way the conversation goes well as Alice would have to explain why she never answered any emails.
Best to avoid that.
Esme Runs Across Bella
Esme values Edward over everything, and while she perhaps thinks that Bella could fix Edward’s desperate unhappiness I think she’d acknowledge that Edward also doesn’t want to see her. She’d snoop from afar but ultimately, I don’t think she’d make contact.
If she did, it’d be with the sole purpose of matchmaking the adult Bella with Edward, which would lead to disaster.
Carlisle Runs Across Bella
Carlisle I think actually would talk to her, to offer up some explanation of what happened and how they got where they are. He and Bella would likely talk about vampires, the Cullen way of life, etc. and ultimately go their separate ways.
He’d try to give closure if she wants it but nothing more than that.
Though if he thinks Bella doesn’t want to talk/see him or any Cullen, he’d likely also make himself scarce.
Some Thoughts On Fanfiction
But that’s not why people are writing these types of stories, and, really while I can give my depressing takes on Twilight I think it’s fair to note that people write these fics for significantly different reasons.
Thoughts on Esme?
I have them.
To start with, I see Esme quite differently from the way this fandom appears to see her, yet also quite differently from the way Meyer intended for me to see her.
I think we all on this website have noticed that fandom has morphed Esme into a very different character than the one we met in the books.
Now, some people take this further than others, and it’s gotten to a point where I can’t tell if fandom believes this new and shinier Esme is canon, or if they know she isn’t canon but don’t care. Either way, the common denominator to all variations of fanon Esme is that this fandom is sick of the way Stephenie Meyer writes women, and see Esme as the worst affected by all. And fanon Esme is a vindication, one where Esme is an assertive, intelligent, feminist woman with a fantastic sex life and an impressive career. The ideal American woman of the 21st century.
And to each their own - if this makes people happy, then by all means. This meta is my personal opinion on her, though, and since fanon Esme has gained such a strong foothold in fandom I would be amiss not to bring her up.
Another thing I’d be amiss not to bring up is movie Esme. The Esme portrayed in the movies is, like so many of the characters, a different person than the one in the books. She is charming, warm, appears to have no difficulty controlling herself, and off the top of my head I can think of one time where she’s given what was originally Carlisle’s moment. I’m talking about sparing Bree - in the books this is something only Carlisle would do, something that has the others going, “jeez, Carlisle, only you”. In the film, this is a decision he and Esme make as a couple. This changes both their characters.
So, these versions of Esme exist, and they’re good characters, but they’re not the Esme I see in the books.
What we meet in canon is a woman who contents herself with being a 50’s housewife. No one in the house eats, she still knows how to cook. Making beautiful homes and keeping them beautiful is not just her passion, it appears to be all she wants to do. Now, humans can be housewives, and that’s a choice I respect very much, but Esme is a vampire, living in a vampire coven. The Cullens have zero need for a housewives. And she doesn’t do other things, either. There is only the creation of homes and being a mother.
And so Esme floats through eternity, embodying the Mother archetype, going through all the motions mothers do with no deeper meaning to any of it.
She gives me the creeps.
I don’t know if anyone here has read Coraline, but in that book we meet the Other Mother. Other Mother always has time for Coraline, she makes all the delicious food Coraline could ever want, and loves her very much. The cat tells us that this may be, Other Mother may love Coraline, but it could also just be she wants to eat her. And since Bella does end up sowing buttons into her eyes, I can’t shake the association.
I think the Esme Platt who ran away to fend for herself and her child, who got a job and struggled to be independent, died with her child. This was her last tie to hope, to this world, and with his death she gave up on life in a way nothing could meaningfully recall.
She then wakes up as a vampire, beautiful (I’m guessing here, but one of the most common things men like to insult women is by demeaning our appearance. An abusive husband, living with Esme in a time where a woman’s appearance decided her worth even more than it does today, would definitely use this against her. Not to mention, it is a cornerstone in female socialization that we’re taught to value our looks. Becoming inhumanly beautiful would boost anybody’s spirits and install confidence, and I doubt Esme was an exception), stronger and faster than any human man, invulnerable, powerful in a way she never dreamed she could be.
The man she idolized since she was a child, who was supposed to be an unattainable dream, is there, and even more wonderful than she remembered. He’s the one who saved her, and within the year he becomes her husband.
(This by itself is too fantastical, too storybook ending, and I imagine snapped whatever remaining strings Esme still had tethering her to sanity. Any newborn vampire would find themselves in a surreal new state of being, but this is a step further. There’s getting to have it all, and then there’s… well, then there’s this.)
Then there is Edward. Days after she lost her son, she’s presented with a young man who lost his mother.
(And this might be a post of its own, but: we never see Esme be a mother to any of the other Cullens, and I don’t think she is. It’s just Edward. And she loves him all the more for it. She wouldn’t blink at Bella dying if Edward decided his thirst weighed heavier than his fascination with the human. This is canon - they have a conversation about this, and Esme make her stance clear. She puts Edward above absolutely everything else in this world.)
What I’m getting at here, is that Esme was handed perfection on a silver platter. All the things she’d lost, all the things she’d lacked, things that had been taken from her in the cruelest manner possible, were now given to her, in perfect condition at that. Esme will never have to worry about things like money, sickness, aging, or even Edward growing up and leaving the nest. (And even when he does get married and have a baby, he still doesn’t leave the nest!)
Esme was given the ultimate do-over with vampirism, and she spends it being what she never got to be in life. (And I’ll link this post, because Bella’s in the same situation, if less extreme, and they’re both in for a rude awakening. And I don’t think Esme will cope at all.)
To Esme, vampirism is startlingly similar to the afterlife. It’s her tailored paradise, eternal and perfect. There’s the fact that every so often she slips up and eats people, but that only adds to the eeriness of it all.
Esme Cullen is more a ghost story than a vampire to me, haunting whichever house the Cullens inhabit under the guise of being a homebody.
(As for the her supposed sex life with Carlisle - Meyer said they have a spiritual relationship. That’s hilarious, and code for they’re not having sex.)
This is all SO good.
Being from Utah, of course this line stuck out to me:
“To Esme, vampirism is startlingly similar to the afterlife.”
And of course this line perfectly ties into Mormonism and the obvious influences and parallels in smeyers writing. Back in October when I was majorly hyperfixating on twilight I’d have regular conversations with my dad (yeah, my dad) about who’s who in twilight as paralleled with the Book of Mormon and mormon culture. Vampirism is LITERALLY meant to represent “Celestial Kingdom” which is essentially the Mormon version of the afterlife. So to say that for Esme, being a vampir and living life the she does similar to the afterlife is an understatement. You’re right, Esme represents the perfect [mormon] housewife, and her life as a vampire represents the idealised version of the afterlife for Mormons.
So in PRM why didn't Aro catch Bella is aware they are not human and art course is just a front? Like don't get me wrong I love the hilarity of the situation but it is getting weird.(Which I love)
Well, remember we readers have guilty knowledge that Aro doesn't have. To us, it's easy to go "Oh man, Bella's soooooo obvious, how does he not know?"
To Aro, it's not actually that obvious.
But let's get into things from Aro's point of view.
Bella's Fucking Weird
Let's say a normal person finds out they're bumming around with cannibalistic demons who, yes, under ordinary circumstances will eat them. They run in terror. They, at the very least, might be somewhat nervous in presence of said demons.
In walks Bella who not only doesn't show the typical human reaction of just being uncomfortable in a vampire's presence she also shows 0 reaction to any of the weird shit that goes on around her. She's never nervous around Marcus, doesn't blink at him teleporting, she takes it all in stride.
And when she does drop hints remember that Bella says weird shit all the time. Things Bella has said in ordinary conversation:
“Ghieagojsoegh” - Chapter 1 (Before Bella Even Knew)
“I don’t exactly have much—any—art experience,” Bella confessed sheepishly, her face burning, “I sort of signed up for this class on—a whim I guess you’d call it. But I think it’ll be fun, and I’ll try really hard. So… yay art?” Chapter 1 (Bella Confessing to Signing Up for an Advanced Art Class with No Experience, Before Bella Even Knew)
“I’ve never had friends,” Bella continued, “I tried, but the best I can do is just make friendly acquaintances, I can’t—I just can’t get any closer than that.” Chapter 2 (Bella Dropping How Friendless She is Out of Nowhere to her Socially Awkward Art Professor Who Didn't Even Ask, Before Bella Even Knew)
Bella was weird before she found out, she's still weird after, but not that much weirder. The difference now is she just makes Marcus watch movies. It's obvious to us because we get her point of view, from the outside well, it's a naked Marcus carrying her into your room because her hand was broken and "Oh, no, it's true I wouldn't make it down the hallway even though my feet are perfectly fine."
For All That They're Obvious, They're Not That Obvious
Bella finds out because she's willing to leap to ridiculous conclusions. Marcus calmly says, "Yes, that guy actually was friends with you" and she goes "MY GOD". Otherwise though, while the Volturi/Cullens are bizarre, it'd take a lot for a non-Bella person to suspect them of, well, not being human.
Even things like Edward and Marcus disappearing from the room could, as Aro currently suspects, be written up as shock on Bella's part. She must have blacked out there for a second, must have missed something, because people don't move that fast.
And, again, corroborating this is that Bella isn't asking any questions or giving any sign of a reaction. Yes, she clearly notices that they look weird, knew that Edward was scary, but she's not doing anything about it.
And her phone calls from Edward very much could be written off as phone calls from a complete lunatic. Which is what she's currently pretending they are/a threat to Marcus as his name is dropped.
And while Bella telling Aro to make a website is weird, it's not that odd for him to conclude she must be asking him where the website it. Because in what universe would she be trying to help him con herself? How weird of a person would you have to be to do that?
Bella is that weird of a person.
The Stakes Are High
Finally, for Aro, the stakes are very high. This is the most improvement Marcus has shown in ever. If he messes this up, then that's it, game over.
There's no Chelsea or Corin for this one.
If he guesses that Bella knows that she's perfectly fine with everything, and she doesn't then the likelihood of her running out the door screaming increases ten-fold. And Aro really really really doesn't want that to happen.
So, he's playing this weird cautious game where he's going to wait until he really doesn't think she'll make a break for it when he tells her. When that is, nobody knows, but we're not there yet.
Adding to this is that he really doesn't want her to know, and since it's hard to read Bella, and there's plausible explanations for everything so far, he's choosing to be hopeful and laughs to himself, "AH HA HA HA WE'RE DOING SO WELL"
It's, of course, not going well.
