Educating my Previous Employer on Neurodivergence
I sent this letter to my former boss at John Serock Catering after our parting of ways (i.e, me walking out on the job because of reasons stated in the letter). I hope it inspires you to write more strongly-worded letters.
Thank you for your quick response to my concerns. I have taken some time to think and would like to share some thoughts in response.
You’re absolutely right that I didn’t disclose a disability during our interview. That was for two reasons: 1) At the time I was desperate for work and didn’t want to jeopardize getting a job, and 2) I truly believed at the time that my disabilities would not affect my work as a server/bartender.
The accommodations I asked for on the day that sparked my email to you were fairly simple, straightforward and very doable on short notice. I cited that I was having a bad day; my specific words were “I’m not thriving today.” The accommodations I requested were really just “I’m having a bad day” accommodations. Because I was ignored and brushed off in both instances, and called “weird” by a member of leadership, I decided to escalate my requests, with diagnosis documents to back them up if needed.
For reference, I requested to be put on dessert duty that day because if I’m having a rough day, bussing gets to be overstimulating and even a bit confusing, specifically when there is nothing to bus but I’m being told I must be on the floor, which at the end of the night is noisy and chaotic. (For these difficulties I cite my autism.) Dessert gives me a very clear and tangible task in a designated area which is much more calming for my literal, easily-overstimulated brain.
The other accommodation I requested, conversely, was to bus instead of pass during cocktail hour. ADHD’ers such as myself have to expend a lot of energy putting on a convincing mask of being socially normal. Passing appetizers was a huge expenditure of energy for me. Sometimes I’m up for it, sometimes I’m not. I didn’t have the energy that day and no one understood; it became a huge thing of “well you must find a replacement for yourself” - which ended in me panicking and hiding in the bathroom several times.
In addition to my neurodivergence sometimes making my job more challenging, it also made it very hard to fit in with my coworkers in spite of my (draining) efforts to appear as friendly and approachable as possible. I felt incredibly isolated on the job because staff and leadership alike have little to no training on neurodivergence in the workplace, therefore seeing a constantly-bewildered server who’s been serving for years, when really they should see a competent server who may have different sensory needs, and communication and learning style.
Had I intended to continue serving, I would have responded to your email with the following accommodations.
-I would have liked to be given an alternate task while the truck is unloaded. For my brain, the unloading of the truck is an impossible puzzle that is new and different each shift. The day I walked out on my shift, I was feeling very flustered and misunderstood as I didn’t know where to put anything - because everyone I’ve ever worked with has a different place they like it, and there were (literally) three people who are telling me three different “right” ways to do it, and I just end up looking like an idiot at the end of it all. I almost cried.
-If I get overwhelmed at any time, I would have liked to be given an alternate task in the kitchen, such as helping with food prep tasks, scraping plates, or being prioritized to be the individual polishing silverware (as for some reason this is a sought-after task by many of the young men).
-I would have liked to have had the option to clear during cocktail hour without being questioned.
-I would like all Serock staff to be trained in disability awareness, inclusiveness, and accessibility.
I don’t even need extra breaks or a chair - my above requests are simple accommodations that I should not have to cite a disability for.
Switching gears, I wrote my initial email to you knowing that I probably would only get sporadic bartending gigs with Serock because of seniority and availability, like you said. My offer still stands to fill in when needed.
Bartending is a straightforward gig that does not require social acceptance of coworkers, or a confusing setup process every time - it’s always the same. As opposed to the thick, exhausting normal-person mask I have to put on when serving, in the case of bartending I’m getting paid for this mask, which makes me feel adequately compensated for my energy expenditure. My neurodivergence thrives on characteristics of bartending: the need for hyperfocus, the craving for variety and challenge, and simply having a very clear, logical, literal task that doesn’t have multiple interpretations: serve people good drinks, quickly and pleasantly. My ADHD and autism are a huge reason that I am a good bartender.
The reason for the above paragraph is to state that, if you were to entrust me with sporadic bartending gigs in the future, there would be no meltdowns or walk-outs, because bartending fits my neurotype.
I have done my time serving and enduring the difficulties that come with it as a result of my neurodivergence. The reason I’m done serving, is because I’m ready to be respected, taken seriously, treated as valuable, and valued for the very characteristics that make serving so challenging for me.
Regardless of what future I have with your company, I do hope that this letter sparks your interest in disability awareness, and helps you do better by disabled employees in the future.
germansingergirl
gummygunk
andulkaphoto
kaledo-art
turnnoffyourmind
baratheonpilled
dailybridgerton