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@goodnightwolfe
Beachy Head ‘11
East Sussex, England | by Christopher Hope-Fitch
Attabad Lake, Pakistan | Riyan Babu
41. Lately, I've been feeling nostalgic.
For almost a week, I was having dreams of people from my past, and naturally it made me wonder how they were doing. I started digging through old pictures and reading old letters and journal entries about them. I laughed at so many of them, and I remembered little things that I honestly had completely forgotten, like how their lips curved a certain way, or their crude humor, or the certain boys we talked about.
I hate doing that. It makes me so sad, because I'm no longer friends or not even in contact with a lot of those people. Instead, I'm haunted by their ghosts, and by the people they used to be.
I had another dream last night that the side of my neck and chest grew four little holes. I remember it was painful. The holes grew into tiny doors with shutters, and people lived in them. One of the people living in those doors said, "Now we can be with Michelle forever."
Those are the ghosts that live in my heart. I can't get rid of them. What do you do with memories you can't forget? What do you do with all that regret? There are so many things I wish I said. Maybe if I did, it wouldn't be this way now.
The great white devil is falling from the sky in Mississippi and it's time to pray.
You laugh, but this 80% of South Carolina right now (including me).
Zangggg.
40. I came home Friday afternoon to the sound of F playing his guitar in the room.
The sun was spilling out through the curtains just right, and made our living room look like a hazy memory sequence you see in the movies. Our apartment smelled like food that had just been cooked on the stove--that smell of oil and fried meat. I put plug-ins throughout our home, but they must be wearing.
I walked into the second bedroom and kissed F hello. He was sitting at the computer, reading notes as he played. He stopped playing for a minute as I told him about my day. He asked me what song to play, and I told him his favorite. He played and sang "Hey Jude," while I sat on the floor and watched.
It feels good to be home.
39. Things I Didn't Like about the Nye/Ham Debate
I don’t know who Ken Ham is. If you’re going to argue against EVOLUTION, the popular kid’s science, and on top of that BILL FREAKIN’ NYE, you have to be at the same level. It goes without saying that Bill Nye has an immense following, and I’m sure it’s safe to say that once some people heard that Bill Nye was debating for evolution against creationism, that’s all they needed to know to be recruited by Team Nye. I wish they had chosen a more popular candidate to even out the playing field.
Ken Ham’s Creationism. I myself believe in creationism, but not completely the way Ken Ham described it. And I believe in evolution—I believe there’s merit to both theories; why should I have to choose just one? When I say that I believe in Creationism, I do believe in Adam and Eve, and that there was some type of floating vessel we refer to as Noah’s ark that housed several pairs of animals during a flood that may have taken over several parts of the earth but not all. What I do not believe in is the literal interpretation of the Old Testament. For example, when it says that the earth was created in six days, I believe that is symbolic of six time periods—not six 24-hour days. I believe the King James version is the most accurate record available to us and that readers should be cautious of their interpretations, and even then their interpretations should be acknowledged as that—interpretations, not fact, unless you’re a prophet of God (and as a Mormon, I do believe there is a living prophet on earth today).
The inflexibility of views. I know in a debate you have to stick to your guns, but I believe that so much more can be gained when you open-mindedly collect bits and pieces of other theories that make sense to your own beliefs. I don't like that some people saw the debate and came out feeling like they had to choose between Evolution and Creationism. Why?! Think for yourself. Don't let a charming, family-friendly science guy sway your opinion (although he's very good at it). See the information as it is presented to you, be your own devil's advocate, debate with yourself and listen to your mind and gut, and then form thoughts. Don't have someone tell you, "This is what it is," and take it for just that; don't join a team or hop on a band wagon--form your own opinions, ask questions. Yes, Ken Ham came off a bit wacky, but I honestly don't think he's the best representative for creationists out there. I don't know who would be, but a better one would stimulate more thought and open-mindedness.
38. I wrote poems in middle school.
I used phrases like "periwinkle dreams" and wrote mostly about boys. I once wrote a short piece that described in detail a make-out session. At the time, I thought it was romantic. I read it now and I'm so grossed out. The piece takes at least 10-15 minutes to read, so you're imagining a couple kissing for 10-15 minutes. PDA flags from here to the moon.
I was so boy crazy. I wish I had used my energy on something more productive, but instead my walls were covered with 8.5 x 11 posters I tore out of Teen Beat magazines instead of paintings I made or rewards I was given.
Wow, Teen Beat. Are they still publishing those?
I wrote poems off and on until I graduated from college. I stopped when I read a locally published compilation of writings mostly submitted by the student body at my university and realized that my poems did not evolve much from my middle school writings.
37. F works a double on Valentine's Day.
Sad.
I was hoping we could drive up to Charleston for the weekend, being that that was the place he first told me he loved me. Instead, he's going to bring to-go orders home for us to have a late dinner. I'm making him a present that matches his new interest in a game from Blizzard he recently downloaded: Hearthstone. It's a spin-off of Magic, so he's been nerding over it for a minute.
As soon as I make the presents I'll post pictures.
36. My month-long break from Tumblr and from my 100-business-day commitment is over.
For now.
I had no downtime in January. Two of the biggest events of the year took place last month within a week of each other, and I was more stressed out than a cat in a bathtub. It's not over yet because due to the South's inability to handle 2-3 inches of snow (sadly, one of the scariest experiences of my life because I myself don't know how to handle 2-3 inches of snow) the event was moved to mid-February, so we get to experience all of that stress again in a couple of weeks.
Meanwhile, my home life has been nothing short of sweet. Our new nest is coming along nicely, and F and I have made it a family resolution to focus more on each other. F and I are complete opposites, which often leads to us doing things on our own since the other person has no interest in doing what the other wants to do. The common scenario is me driving around, doing errands by myself and him staying at home all day playing video games. We had a big talk about it, and now we're trying to not reject the other person. We're both pretty sensible with our requests, so neither of us have to worry about the other person asking for too much. And so far, it has been heavenly. I feel a difference in our marriage and in the home. We eat dinner together more often, we pray together more, and instead of me falling asleep at 11 PM and him coming to bed around 1 AM, we cap off the night with a couple of shows on Netflix and fall asleep together. Gush.
I'm finally saying RIP to my navy Oxfords. This was the first pair of working shoes I bought after graduating from college, and I've finally worn them down enough to make holes. While wearing these shoes, I learned the value of hard work. I learned that shortcuts can produce poor workmanship and character, while good, old- fashioned hard work never fails. Even if you don't get the results you want, you come out a better, stronger, and wiser individual.
35. Untitled.
He let a good girl get away.
He let a too-good-for-you girl get away.
All of my guilty pleasures in one place. #sorrynotsorry #donthate
Went in for softener, came out with a TV. #finallybrokedown #onlytookus3years