bloop bloop motherfucker

@gooperblooper

a small gooper blooper in a big sea

1,565 posts

i was planning on getting back on meds anyway these last few weeks but this finally pushed me to get an appointment

i wanted to try pills again instead of liquid because i feel like hating the whole ritual of taking the liquid kind was a factor in me repeatedly falling out of the habit of taking it. even if the alternative is pills that have caused me extreme pain in the past (nobody is reading this but in my case it's dysphagia lusoria) i just ... figured i could try again and just be really really careful and mindful of swallowing them

sooo i just took my first pill in nearly 12 years. my throat feels weird but so far that's pretty much it.

i really wish they made patches or injections or just something other than pills and liquids

i'm so tired from crying all day but i don't wanna lay down because then there'll be no distractions at all and i can hardly handle things even trying to distract myself

i can't fucking handle this

i emailed my therapist even though i remembered her telling me she's out the first two weeks of july

got the automatic reply from her email confirming she's not back until the 14th, aka the day i was already scheduled to see her next anyway. so i couldn't see even see her as much as a day earlier. i know one day isn't that big of a deal but i was really hoping she'd be back on the 13th, or maybe i'd misremembered completely and she'd be back even earlier

and i know she can't snap her fingers and make me feel better but still

i keep checking my email as if she'd actually see it and respond even though i know she won't

.

of course it's my favorite chicken that has to fucking die

i've already been feeling so fucking depressed these past few weeks why the fuck did he have to die now

it’s 11am, temperature is 92 but it feels like 110

it’s supposed to get up to 98 later so how fucking hot is the feels like temperature gonna be by then?!?! usuajsjdjd i’m worried my chickens are gonna have heat strokes and die 😭 one of them was already making concerning noises earlier when the feels like temp was only 105 before I soaked him and got him cooled down

i just thought of something...

i don't go out of my way to watch tiktoks myself but i've (unfortunately) been exposed to them through my nephews and niece, and i've heard quite a few of them use the kokiri forest theme as background music...

...how many kids do you think are gonna play the ocarina of time remake with no knowledge of the original, hear the kokiri forest theme, and be like "WAIT THAT SOUNDS LIKE THAT TIKTOK SONG"

#i feel myself withering away at the thought #i'm only a year older than the og game myself #i bet if i had been old enough to play it when it came out i'd actually Die

it's also crazy how there's this new (?) phenomenon of them seeming to actually hate harry and louis (mostly louis, i guess because he breaks their delusions the most often lol) and still continuing to ship them

i mean i guess it's not that unique, i've seen other ship fandoms where the shippers hate one side of their own ship (also generally for that side of the ship making it clear it's not real) but refuse to give it up, it just never stops being weird. especially in a ship like this where the people involved are actually fucking real

#saw one on twitter saying like 'louis's career better FLOP for not supporting us!!' with their stupid 💙💚 in bio and i just lmao #how can you act like you love and support them when you're actively rooting for one of their downfalls

every now and again i'll randomly think about it and check to see if larries still exist and i'm always shocked to find out they still do

#i still lowkey think 'larries' is weird it was always just larry shippers/believers back in my day #i'm willing to bet i was in those trenches before some current larries were even born tbh #but it's even worse how some of these people are even way older than me and they're still fucking rabid about it #like i look back at how my 14 year old self sincerely believed this shit and i'm like wow that's embarrassing #and then i look at people who are 40+ now still believing it and it's just next fucking level secondhand embarrassment

i miss my nyan cat shirt i wish i never got rid of it :/

new headphone cable arrived!!

.....aaaand it's already fucking shorted so i have to constantly be pressing on it for it to fucking work :))))))

update: further testing suggests it's actually fine, but rather my headphone jack on my laptop itself is fucked. i have now bought a usb audio adapter to see if this fixes the issue

when ur primary way of listening to a song has been listening to a version of it someone uploaded to youtube like 15 years ago slightly pitched down to avoid copyright detection and then you find an official uploaded version in the original pitch and it's Wrong...

#NO menschen suchen menschen is not that high pitched!!!#good thing i have an extension that lets me change the pitch of videos so i can have the higher quality but the pitch i'm used to lol

aaidhdhfjuh i always used to use headphone wires even though my headphones are wireless cuz bluetooth fucking sucks but awhile back my cable shitted out so i've been stuck using bluetooth and i'm so fucking sick of it constantly losing connection

update: apparently this post angered my connection even more because now it has progressed from just disconnecting to constantly being crackly when it's connected, i cannot fucking win. i just went and bought a new cable but it won't be here for a couple days :(

#like i was literally in a fucking meeting earlier and all of a sudden it shits itself and disconnects #and i had to hurry and turn off my headphones and turn up the volume on my computer to try to get the audio to come from the speakers #which i hate cuz it's shit quality and also just annoying cuz i live with people

insta update: after all the bullshit circles they had me running in yesterday and them telling me my case was closed and the decision is final, i logged in today and it said i'm no longer suspended :D

sooo i guess you just gotta annoy the fuck out of them and their 'final decision' stops being so final lol

lol sent a long ass email explaining everything and this is what i get:

"As frustrating as it is the decision has been decided and we cannot help you any further. I do apologize for the experience. Continuing to reply will not change the outcome."

:))))))))))))))

ugh i'm so frustrated i'm about to cry

and the thing is i don't even care that much about that account, i literally just use it for private browsing, but it's so fucking uughghhgh

went back to the support thing on the website since i kept getting bot ass email responses, got placed with a real person again, aaand:

"After reviewing your previous case, I can confirm that the decision made is final. At this time, we are unable to provide a different decision."

........the decision made is final. the DECISION that was made INCORRECTLY because THEIR SYSTEMS FUCKED UP, that i repeatedly proved to them was a fucking MISTAKE. and they fucking refuse to fix it?!!? fuck these fucking people

they're probably gonna just mute my email soon if they haven't already

this shit is genuinely so fucking ridiculous

it's funny (read: fucking infuriating) that they suspended me because their shitty bot detection system, which is a bot itself, incorrectly thought i was a bot, and then they directed me to a bot which was no help getting my account back, and then after i finally get to talk to people who also didn't help they're now replying to my emails with the same bot responses :))) their constant use of shitty bots is a-okay but apparently i can just go fuck myself when their garbage fucked up and thought i was one!!

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