This is so strange. You fell in love with him the moment you met. You know that a relationship between you is hardly possible. He’s 50 cm shorter than you and looks like a child. Although there must have been examples of such relationships in the world, you simply can’t imagine what it would look like.
Moreover, Chilchak frustrates you with his stubbornness and refusal to get close to anyone in the squad. He often grumbles at you and the others over trivial matters. He snaps at you when you get too close. He goes to sleep far away from everyone. He says things that sometimes cut deep into your heart. And yet, you love him.
In your better moments, you admire the sprinkling of freckles and the streaks of grey in his hair. You save a little wine that he never asks for. You’re always ready to lend a helping hand — which he easily rejects. You’re quite surprised by his confession about his children and ex‑wife. You’re also saddened to learn that he’s lived more than half his life — meaning you have less time with him than you’d imagined. But that’s trivial, right?
Your group encounters some people they know. This isn’t surprising — you were recruited into the squad relatively recently. Perhaps your relationship with the halfling from their group will turn out worse than expected. After all, how can you stay calm when your beloved is so engrossed in conversation with someone else? Especially when they fall silent as you approach.
You’re jealous. You admit to yourself that you can’t keep your thoughts positive. You keep imagining what it would be like to push that girl into the lake. Or to point her in the direction of a monster if she asked for directions. Or perhaps to use the sword in your sheath. You nearly did just that when the teams decided to make camp for the night and part ways in the morning.
When everyone except you, her, and Chilchak had fallen asleep, you decided it was an incredible opportunity — there wouldn’t be a better moment. You asked her to take a short walk with you. You chatted about various things, trying to engage your companion in conversation and subtly lead her further away from the camp.
When you reached a sufficiently remote spot where you could divert her attention, it was time to draw your sword. You pointed at something on the wall, while your other hand already rested on the hilt. But your companion suddenly mentioned something she’d discussed with Chilchak. They’d been talking about matters concerning the halfling guild.
You looked at the girl with entirely different eyes. You knew that your beloved wasn’t an insignificant person in the guild. It was normal for him to discuss guild business with one of its members. But what had you been about to do? Kill her? For what reason? It turned out you’d been about to kill someone for no reason at all. Would flirting with him have been grounds for death?
Although no one truly dies here, she could be found by monsters that wouldn’t hesitate to feast on her corpse instead of being recovered by some squad or body collectors. Then resurrecting her would be difficult, if not impossible. This realization fills you with horror.
You’re brought back to your senses by someone shaking your arm. A small girl with large ears and childlike features is looking at you with concern. Her dark hair curls and falls over her shoulders. Her grey eyes reflect genuine worry. She asks about your condition, but you can’t answer her. «Let’s go back to camp», is all you manage to utter.
After your groups parted ways, you remained quiet for several days. You acted subdued and distant — especially towards the halfling. You kept pondering something. Of course, your group noticed the change. Chilchak included.
He’d grown somewhat accustomed to your usual behaviour and was worried by these changes. The dungeon is dangerous. You used to handle what lay ahead of your squad quite well. But now, you weren’t even really listening to his instructions, lost in your own thoughts.
Chilchak’s main task is to guide the group through the traps, but that’s hard to do when no one listens to him. You’ve already died several times because of this. Each time, Chilchak yelled at you louder. His nerves were already at their limit; he was furious that you ignored his words, forcing the group to rescue you from the trap again — and that wasn’t easy!
Overwhelmed with emotion, he switched to his native language, and you couldn’t understand the meaning of his words at all — not that you’d been paying attention before either. When he calmed down, he decided it was best to keep an eye on your every move.
Now, every time he leads the group through traps, he always looks back a couple of steps to where he insists you stay, making sure you do everything correctly. Sometimes he instinctively glances in your direction even in ordinary rooms, just to make sure you’re still alive.
Though he doesn’t need to worry too much — Marcel can resurrect you easily, and Senchi will make sure you eat well and get enough sleep. He won’t admit it to himself, but he always worries about the squad members. Now he worries about you especially.
He might suspect that his acquaintance has something to do with your condition. Chilchak heard you leave that evening, and the next day you’d already changed. You became much more distant and absent‑minded. It’s unsettling. This never happened before.
Previously, you practically clung to him and chatted incessantly about everything in the world. Now you always pull away, don’t engage in conversations, and don’t even sit next to him to eat. It looks like you’re avoiding him. He can only guess what’s going on in your mind.
Over time, he’ll start nitpicking more and more. He’ll criticize you for forgetting to comb your hair or falling behind the group. He’ll scold you for getting injured and for your deteriorating reactions. If he sees a dungeon creature lunging at you while you’re once again not present in the battle, an arrow will already be flying at the monster.
After the battle ends, he’ll start lecturing you again about needing to be more focused. And his sleeping bag moves closer every night.
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