Flux and Flow

I just wanna go on adventures and reblog shit I like.

[melondropsie]

Oh hai it's been awhile.

[avnakin]

What can a female character do, without being criticized mercilessly?

(insp.)

[kiandra-layne]

[pencerealtiidunyam]

Asaf Avidan - The Labyrinth Song “Oh Ariadne, I’m coming, I just need to work this maze inside my mind”

[ravenclairee]

Tell me about paradise. Paradise is free of pain and suffering. Everything we’ve ever done is forgotten there.

[brightflights]

Do you think anything of us will remain? Or is that what we are? A dream? And we never really existed?

[arabellas]

[superficialart]

[datisrank]

Kat exudes big dick energy

[goshheckinspicy]

It's been a hot minute

Downloaded the Tumblr app on my phone because I miss looking and posts from studyblrs and whatnot.

Yeet.

[rockum]

By Anders Røkkum

More: https://www.facebook.com/AndersRokkum/

[goshheckinspicy]

Prepping for Alchemy and making gifts 😁

[queernigga]

wow yall got me FUCKED UP on a Sunday morning already?? 

[gingerium]

Seriously what the fuck is the story behind this shit

[kaffe-och-blod-blog]

Is David Lynch involved in this?? Sure he is.

[cannibal-rainbow]

Why people get trapped by Emotional Abusers & Why it’s not their fault

(these apply to platonic and romantic relationships)

1. Attachment

The Emotional Abuser gives you attention: they make you feel flattered, loved and important. You start to believe that they genuinely care about you. They might even think that they do by themselves since they internally justify all their doings. Normally this kind of attachment would lead to a healthy bonding and a closer relationship. With the Emotional Abuser it leads to some levels of addiction and dependency on the victim’s part which is never their fault. Emotional Abuser’s behaviour exploits normal emotional bonding to another human being.

2. Guilt

In some point in the relationship you notice that it’s all about their needs. The Abuser might do something that hurts your feelings and bringing it up leads them to reason why it’s actually your fault and why you have to take responsibility for it. They make up convincing excuses why it’s not their job to do it, why it’s absolutely unreasonable of you to ask for it and so on. In other words: they Guilt-trip you. The Emotional Abuser believes they have no responsibility for their behaviour or feelings. If they feel uncomfortable by something in the relationship they will manipulate you to take the blame instead of trying to work things out. Guilt-tripping makes the victim submit and erodes their sense of emotional and physical boundaries since they are made to believe it’s their job to cater on Abuser’s needs.

3. Cognitive dissonance

After the idealization pace the Emotional Abuser will move to a devaluing pace. Catering to their needs is not enough anymore and you feel you can’t do anything right no matter what you do. The pace starts when the Abuser feels you are getting emotionally too close and/or you are trying to hold them accountable for something they have done. Emotional Abusers are afraid of responsibility and in some cases intimacy so they will try to push you away. They use manipulation: Gaslighting and Guilt-tripping to force you into silence and to take all the responsibility for the relationship. They give you Silent Treatment which is justified by some clever excuses. Emotional Abusers believe they are entitled to absolute emotional comfort even when it means abusing other people.

Because you remember how well they used to treat you, your mind has a hard time accepting they are not the person you thought they were. In fact you might start to make excuses for them in your head because they have manipulated you to think nothing is their fault. It is extremely difficult to get away from the Abuser’s emotional trap because they take advantage of the victim’s emotional bonding to them and give false hope that the relationship could be “fixed”. You are misled into thinking that if you just learn not to be so “needy” and “selfish”, the Abuser will reward you with the loving behaviour they demonstrated in the beginning.

Aftermath

The Emotional Abuser has no intention to take responsibility for what their abusive behaviour has caused you because they have normalized and justified it in their head. Not all of the Abusers are so sure of themselves but need a lot of internal convincing and validation from others so that they can feel good about themselves which is their goal: not having to deal with responsibility or emotional labour. After all Emotional Abusers are not Disney villains but people who are so selfish that they lack of motivation to learn how to not hurt people.

There are two ways how the trap can break: the victim quits all contact with the Abuser or the Abuser leaves the victim. The latter one occurs if the Emotional Abuser feels they have to deal with too much because of the victim. The Abuser might feel threatened by the victim if the victim is making the Abuser feel bad about themself by calling out their abusive behaviour. The Emotional Abuser thinks that they are actually the victim in the relationship because the real Victim is making them feel bad and scared. The Abuser is genuinely afraid that they would have to deal with negative emotions that taking responsibility would require.

In the end the Emotional Abuser ends the relationship with some dramatic note in which they project all their feelings into the victim: you are the abuser, you have harmed them, you have threatened them. This is their way of securing their own emotional well-being as they refuse to acknowledge the reality. Just remember that it was NOT your fault and you are not responsible for their horrible behaviour. While mutually harmful and violent relationships can exist abusive relationships are based on a power imbalance and therefore there is no such a thing as “mutually abusive”. You are nothing like your abuser.

[goshheckinspicy]

@sparkymouse

[goshheckinspicy]

Something to look back on.

I'm going back to school in January. I applied as a transfer student (which was incorrect, apparently I'm some kind of transfer freshman since it's less than 30 credit hours). I'm nervous, scared, and excited. I'm switching majors: from Nursing to Social Work.

One of my best friends committed suicide this year. July 16, 2018 to be exact. I was with her the day before (or possibly the day of, if she did it that night). I'm coping. I guess we (my friends) all are.

Alchemy 2018 is just around the corner and I'm still as excited as I was last year about going. It was magical and I'm ready to be home. I'm making a bunch of gifts again this year.

I'm also a Facebook Felon. I was deemed ineligible to use Facebook and every appeal I've submitted has been ignored, but the more days that past, the more relieved I am? Melanie occasionally sends me screenshots of some dumb shit someone posts and it makes me realize how much better my life has gotten without it. I hardly get on Tumblr, I just mainly scroll Instagram and use Snapchat.

Not sure what else I wanted to say but I'm not sleepy so there ya go.

[erezkaan]

[namea123]

Me: If they ever show Battle of The Trident

*Robert beating Rhaegar’s ass with his hammer*