“The way I see it,” Menshiki said, “there’s a point in everybody’s life where they need a major transformation. And when that time comes you have to grab it by the tail. Grab it hard, and never let go.”
― Haruki Murakami, Killing Commendatore
Minimalist, absurd, abstract, and sometimes mundane that's how one would describe Murakami. When I was in college (7 years ago) when I first read his book it was the three books of 1Q84 and since then I felt this thirst for more Murakami stories for more adventures with him. Well, the word adventure makes it sound like a lot of fun but it wasn't, it was if one would call my saving grace. I was in the dark place and I found refuge in his books, in his characters. I stayed in that neighborhood for 2 long years until I found my way back to this world and tried to avoid reading Murakami again because it felt like opening a portal again back to that place so I tried to stay away. Until the year 2016, I started living in Japan and living there gave me a clearer view and a better image of how his stories took place. I was able to arrange the neighborhood in The Wind Up Spring Chronicles in my mind and even create an image of Kafka and Mr. Nakata in my imagination. So I decided to buy paperback copies of some of his novels, it was about time to reread everything it's been years already and I want to see how my perspective has changed. And so I did. But I didn't have a lot of time to read and the only time I can open my books are when I travel to Tokyo and read on the train.
During my stay in Japan, Killing Commendatore was released but it took me time to buy a copy because I was still in the process of rereading my books. Until I was able to get myself one but I did not read it right away. And then there was this one time that when I was reading Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage on the train, snapped a photo and posted in Instagram and on that same day I met someone but it was rather an inappropriate way of meeting someone in a very inappropriate place but that photo that I posted somehow initiated a connection we were both a fan of Murakami but this person never finished a book it was how this person was the kind who would rather leave a book unfinished. And because of this connection, I wasn't able to continue reading Killing Commendatore and I know I still wasn't ready then to open up myself to new characters or maybe I wasn't ready to enter another twisted Murakami world while I was dealing with reality myself. But this connection also made me read other books and even collect even more. Hey! we are here to talk about Killing Commendatore.
You see I am more of a reader than a writer but more of a speaker than a listener. I don't know if I was ready but I felt like the book was calling me and this whole Quarantine situation gave me no choice but to continue where I stopped in this book. I don't know the purpose of writing this right now maybe I just wanted to write or maybe I just want to tell the world that I was able to finish no not finish but survive another Haruki Murakami world. This book reminds me of some scenes in the Wind Up Bird Chronicle perhaps it was the well-like hole and the character, it also took me back to the mountains in Norwegian Wood, and how dreams connect to realities in 1Q84 and Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki, it is a Murakami novel alright with his trademarks: the well, pasta, cats, dreams, description of the ears' shape, and his narrative style. After being able to live in Japan the course of my reading was smoother and the flow of my imagination was spontaneous maybe because it was easier for me to imagine the setting, I was able to set foot on those places mentioned in the book, and I can understand the point of view and how people in Japan think. I also liked the way that the story somehow has a little similarity to Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby that was also read by Toru Watanabe. The story mainly revolved around how one thing leads to another while the character was in the process of trying to give himself time to heal and be able to create an uncommissioned painting without any pressure but ended up tangled in situations and drawing his unconsciously hidden personality while meeting ideas and metaphors that took forms along the way. at least that's how it seemed to me. It was full of symbolism and subtlety but there was linearity. But what made me write this was the ending. It was not something that I was expecting, I was given a proper ending a satisfying one and I didn't ask for one. The "everything fell into place" kind of ending. It was satisfying that it only gave me a little room for more questions.
Writing this now I just finished the book yesterday and I'm sure I will still think of that world and think of the characters for a few days I was absorbed but with the knowledge that everything fell into place that I was given a proper ending. So maybe I should've left the book unfinished but then again maybe that's what I need right now an ending with no lapses and holes. Maybe I should've left that connection somewhere, maybe I should've run away when I still had the chance.
“The way I see it,” Menshiki said, “there’s a point in everybody’s life where they need a major transformation. And when that time comes you have to grab it by the tail. Grab it hard, and never let go.”
― Haruki Murakami
But it is when you decide to stay and continue, you give yourself the chance for definite answers and objectivity. We live in a world where questions lie around us and it's up to us to find the answers if there are.
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