PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
i don't do bad sauce passes
JBB: An Artblog!
Claire Keane
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Game of Thrones Daily
styofa doing anything
No title available
$LAYYYTER
★
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
noise dept.
almost home
Three Goblin Art
trying on a metaphor
todays bird
dirt enthusiast
🪼
cherry valley forever
seen from Japan
seen from Malaysia
seen from T1
seen from United States
seen from T1
seen from Netherlands
seen from Japan
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from Oman
@got-niam
Every year, the richest person in America is declared the “Winner of Capitalism.” They get a badge. Then all of their wealth is donated to charity and they have to start over at $0.
This procedure results in the worlds richest people donating excessive amounts of money ahead of the event in an attempt to avoid being hit by a real life blue shell. Thus adding to the overall annual donation.
Y'all think this is a joke but that’s literally how taxes are *supposed* to work
people have been illegally dumping their old boats all around abandoned neighborhoods in detroit so this one newscaster on the local news station has been collecting them and finding out who the owners are by looking up the ID numbers on the boats and then she puts them on a flatbed truck and she brings them back to their owners wearing a fucking captain’s hat and she knocks on their doors and goes “hey we found your boat!”
Not all heroes wear capes
i used to think green apple was a flavor invented by the candy industry like blue raspberry bc i had never seen a green apple before I just thought all apples were red and long story short when i realized i was red green colorblind it really fucked me up
there’s also yellow apples
now yall are just fuckin lying to me
i just assumed that everyone just ate apples if they were in the mood for a surprise i dunno
this post is so beautiful i love it
“Can I squish your face?” “You can do whatever you want.”
Chicago - 26/07
Chicago - 26/07
a bunny wearing bunny ears
07/06/2018
“I reckon my mother would have my head off if I moved that far away from home. She’d kill me, so I won’t be doing it any time in the near future, maybe someday. If I can force my mother to move to Australia or if Australia just happens to get closer to where we’re from; you know how the plates move and all that stuff.”
— Niall talking about wanting to move to Australia - Flicker World Tour Sydney 05/06/2018
Niall giving us a tour of his dressing room
One of the funniest things I ever experienced was when I went to go see John Mulaney live, and halfway through a bit about how expensive college in the States is, he looked down at the sleeve of his suit jacket and just. stopped. dead halt, mid sentence.
And after like three seconds, where we’re all trying to figure out the punchline because the story clearly hadn’t ended, and John Mulaney quietly says, “Has there been tinfoil on my buttons the whole goddamn show?”
He’d taken his suit to the drycleaner, and they’d wrapped the buttons on the sleeves and the coat with tinfoil to protect them, and John Mulaney didn’t notice until half-way through his set, and was SO FLABBERGASTED that he never did finish the story about college and instead did five minutes on how stupid it was that his buttons were reflecting the light and he just didn’t notice, and in that moment I understood more about John Mulaney as a person than I ever have.
during one of his portland shows, he noticed this like 7 year old girl in the front row and asked her (and her parents) if she ‘is aware that she is physically here right now’ or if she was just brought along. turns out her favorite john mulaney bit is the “and I’m new in town” bit and that she’s seen all his stuff. He was so shocked and discomforted by the fact a SEVEN YEAR OLD has seen his shows, that he couldn’t get through a bit about donating to charity without interrupting himself at least three times to import good life lessons on this small child, as if that makes up for all the horrible things he’s said that she heard
When I saw him in Ft. Lauderdale, there was a bar in the lobby that people kept leaving to go to. At one point, a guy in the front row just got up and BOOKED IT to get drinks. John Mulaney looked over at a woman who was next to the empty seat and asked, “Are you with him? What’s his name?”
She was, in fact, with him, and she did tell him her date’s name. John Mulaney considered this, looked around, and unplugged his microphone. Leaning in to us, he told us that we were going to trick this guy so fuckin hard. He said, “At some point during the show, I am going to stop and say, ‘Well, you guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale,’ and then you guys are all going to scream back ‘WE LOVE MILKSHAKES!’ He’ll be so confused.”
He then continued on with the show as normal, the drinks guy returned to his seat, and that was that for quite a long time. We thought he had forgotten about it until, at some point during what I believe was his McDonald’s drive-thru bit, he shrugged his shoulders and said, “You guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale…”
Naturally, we erupted with “WE LOVE MILKSHAKES” and John Mulaney SWUNG around to face the drinks guy and said, “I bet you’re real confused now, huh, JASON?!”
ah so john mulaney is a chaotic neutral cryptid
i saw him last night and there was a good ten minute interlude where a woman told him everything she found wrong with his suit, including that his pants were too high waisted to which he replied “that’s where my hips are” and someone in the back shouted “look at that high waisted man he’s got feminine hips!” and he yelled back “that’s my joke! i’m offended!!”
‘well when you put it THAT way it sounds kind of stupid’ ‘what other way were you putting it?’
Y’all John Mulaney didn’t die in Infinity War J.J. Bittenbinder taught him better than that
john mulaney when thanos arrives: you want this stone? go get it!
Infinity War 2: John Mulaney defeats Thanos
Infinity War 2 (Street Smarts!)
Two Tom(s) and Two Chris(s) play F*ck Marry Kill with Pratt, Evans and Hemsworth.
what if people got a new name every birthday
what if the name represented how old you were, like every 11 year old was named Josh
“I had my first kiss when I was Greg”
this wasn’t supposed to get notes
#chris evans #in where he is actually steve rogers
#when is chris evans not steve rogers though
#when casting is perfect I begin to wonder about Marvel #do they secretly grow these people on farms #let them loose on the world for a while to establish lives #and then cast them as the role they were grown for
I have
no idea
what you’re
talking about
i do believe this is my fifth time reblogging this
apart form sebastian though he goes from this to this
seb’s the weird cousin
@justaweirdthoughtstuff
This is amazing oml
Seb’s the fanboy they grew to connect with the audience
@snowyseba This explains everything!
I’ve only seen this post in screenshots on pinterest. I love it.
I think you missed the other fanboy…
Love this
Everybody says Seb isn’t like Bucky… but he IS. He’s Bucky without a mask on. Bucky’s always wearing some sort of mask. Even around Steve. Seb is what Bucky would be like if he’d had the chance to just ~be~.
UH THIS
Um we’re forgetting someone…
ITS FINALLY ON MY DASH YESSS
Not to forget our “Wizard”:
Aldjaksnana
I’ve found it. I’ve found the perfect post.
it’s on my dash jdnckdmd
these dorks lmaoo
I love everyone omg they’re all so amazing???
Don’t forget
this whole thing is way too good to be giffed you need to expirience it
There are so many things that are TOP quality about this. The business with the mic rope. The bounding across the stage like an excited puppy or a newsie. The Voice™️ that is so synonymous with John, you know, the voice of a guy who sells ice cream at the soda fountain in the 50’s. The analogy itself.
It’s all so beautiful, such peak humor and content.
