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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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if i look back, i am lost
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Kiana Khansmith
KIROKAZE

shark vs the universe
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Three Goblin Art
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@gotbeardy-blog
why does everything i love turn to angst in my hands
short round.
“ girlfriend, luke. y’can say it – it ain’t gonna BITE you. “ a bit hypocritical of her to jab at really. considering she’d likely be dancing around the word still too had it not been for a little frustrated courage bubbling to the surface. “ i was your girlfriend. “ brows knit together for a split second & posture straightens. the word WAS leaves a not so pleasant taste in her mouth … but it is what it is; a lot had changed in that two years of little to no contact. “ i was your girlfriend. “ is parroted as if she’s allowing it to finally SINK the hell in. “i guess … there’s your answer. “
Cheeks puff out and he frowns down at his feet for a few moments, trying to think of something decent to say. It’s not like he never called, right? Sure, the call never got through or anything but he still tried. It’s very pathetic to think like that. He’s aware.
Man, this sucks.
“Okay. You can call me your ex-boyfriend. Still think I prefer Young Harrison Ford.”
short round.
it’s such an AWFUL thing to be ruled by emotions; to let your judgement become so easily clouded when heightened. so much weighs on his LIE but in her unsure & flustered state she takes that convincing tone to heart without question. syllables will carry with them a fabrication of her own, NONCHALANCE, but mismatched expression misses it’s mark, “ right. & hey, i’ll just take your suggestion – YOU can call ME jackass. “ because that’s definitely what she feels like right now.
“I mean, sure, if you wanna go there,” he nods. Except it’s eating at him, almost to the point where he’s prepared to ask a question he might not particularly want to hear the answer to. It’s been two years, though. Luke’s pretty sure he knows what that means, even if he doesn’t want to admit it to himself or anything of the like.
In that usual Luke way, he just thinks fuck it.
“If I was gonna call you somethin’ other than Short Round, though. Or. Y’know. Jordan. I mean. Did we ever-- I mean, were we officially-- I mean, are you-- Would you be my ex-somethin’ or--?”
now she’s the gatekeeper of hell.
❛ You’re not impressed? ❜ Riley’s laughter was free falling as she spoke, watching him with liquid soft eyes. She wet her lips, gaze flitting over him in a brief and once over as she appeared to consider his state. ❛ Mhm, perhaps… But you’re dressed for your funeral. To enter hell? You have to get past me, of course. ❜
“My funeral! If I wear this shit to my actual funeral, I want somebody to bring me back to life purely so they can fuckin’ kill me again. That’s gonna be on you, actually. Congratulations. You’re now in charge of makin’ sure I don’t look like a jackass when I die.” There. She’s stuck with him for the foreseeable future now, all because she mentioned his funeral. Unlucky her! “Wait, wait, wait. Are you tellin’ me I gotta fight you? ’Cause I totally will.”
angel, apparently.
Quiet laughter bubbled out of her. With a finite and irrevocable step, she lifted brittle fingers and wrapped them around his throat– lacking any such pressure. ❛ Off with his head, ❜ Riley breathed r e s o l u t e l y before leaning up on her toes and kissing his cheek. ❛ Welcome to heaven. ❜
“Ah, shit. Look at that. Looks exactly the same.” He looks down at this godawful tux that he’s still wearing and gives a rather melodramatic groan. “And I’m still in this monkey suit! Man, heaven sucks, what’s a guy gotta do to get himself into Satan’s party palace, huh?”
short round.
she opts to just stare down at her SHOES for a moment. part of her actually CONSIDERING a haste segue to another subject thus continuing this disaster.
– grow a p a i r miller.
“ i don’t really know what t’call you. think that might be the problem. “
“Well, I mean-- I ain’t really been thinkin’ about it.”
What a lie!!! What a huge, stinking lie!!! It’s amazing that he can say it with a straight face and sound like he means it, though. Damn good liar, this one.
“Could always call me your Young Harrison Ford.”
short round.
no no no. why did he do that? & thus the horrible domino effect of AWKWARDNESS continues. she can’t even use the imagine him in his underwear trick, g r e a t.“ thanks, i think. & no worries – anythin’ for a … “ she gestures around him in a mild panic for the right word to say, “ … you. “
“Jesus, we are just fuckin’ tragic.”
Might as well just come out with it, right? Luke’s gotten good at this sort of stuff. Like pulling off a band-aid. You know, after avoiding doing it for -- how long, exactly? It’s been a bit. Maybe he’s not good at this after all. What else is new?
“Maybe you can just call me a jackass. Or a punk. Or... whatever colorful name you can think of for me.”
leaving this in your tags so you guys see it whenever you get on. but yeah surprise!! and if you want it without the watermark thing for whatever reason then just ask and i’ll send it to you but for tumblr it’s just so no one steals it.
khaleesi.
“Sorry, sorry—-” She tries really hard to be sympathetic until the ‘it was dark’. Tries so hard. But it’s futile, in the end, she cannot hold back her laughter any longer and just– lets loose. Completely loses it. Her face goes red. Terrible. “You ran right into them. Please. I can’t– I cannot—” You ready for this oscar worthy impersonation? “It was dark, Jesus, let me live..”
“Okay, I hate you. Bye.”
He’s just going to turn and walk away before he dies on the spot from pure fucking shame. This is too much. Too much!!
* open.
“That was seriously the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, and that includes all the bullshit that comes outta my own mouth.” A pause. “I love it!”
khaleesi.
“—-Oh my gosh.” She didn’t think she’d actually be right! It just seemed like the most embarrassing thing for him to do and she was trying to be supportive and make him see it could have been worse only to find that it was– exactly what happened. “Luke. Sweetheart..”
“Okay. First of all: shut up. Second of all: shut up. And thirdly--” He clearly isn’t prepared for a third point, so he spends a second just thinking. “Okay, thirdly: you try fuckin’ running away from the cops when-- I mean-- It was dark, okay? Let me live. Jesus.”
For anon who wanted the scene of Jimmy saying “My nose is not having a good week”
khaleesi.
Gentle gasp! His own mother? The horror! Emma cants her head to the side. The word ‘dumb’ immediately grabs her attention. Dumb? How dumb? What was dumb?! She must know. The blonde raises a brow, throwing out the most ridiculous thought imaginable. “What, you didn’t like, run head first into a police officer… Did you?”
“No!!”
What the fuck, Emma, since when were you fucking psychic? What is this? Luke’s going red. Oh, my god he’s been sussed. This is terrible. He’s never showing his face to her again.
sadie.
“we’re skipping that step.”
she can see her flat already, her fingers digging more into his arm in anticipation–– sadie can’t quite remember when was the last time she fucked a boy in her own home… she always prefers theirs; easier to get an excuse and leave, but this guy? whoever he is, she’s quite interested. might even fuck him again after that.
“never particularly cared for foreplay.”
Hey. Luke’s a gentleman. Sort of. He’ll see himself out, at least. He never sticks around too long -- save for on very special occasions. But this isn’t exactly one of those. Though, actually, hey. Just getting out of prison is a pretty special occasion. Not that he’s said as much, and not that he thinks she’d really care.
Actually he’s pretty sure that’d ruin it.
He chuckles at her comment, and maybe quietly thanks god that there’s no such thing as mind reading.
“Huh. Woman after my own heart. You did this with all the boys, or am I just a special case?”
short round.
fingers lightly trace ink along his arm in a scrutinizing inspection. faded tattoos make her so sad ! “ if y’come in after closin’ i could possibly throw you a freebie just this once, indy. “
“I ever say how much--” back it the fuck up Lucas. “Rad.. you are... how much rad you are? You’re so rad.” He is crawling into the next ditch he sees and he is DYING THERE. Luke clears his throat. “I mean, yeah. Totally, that’d be-- cool. Thanks.”