Unit 6 Research Journal

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Evidence of other work/ Supporting work

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1Vbg5hqFB-UGQhoNfufKHvqEkCuYCRNWV?usp=sharing

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Visit Original Link

This is my final sound that I have produced and will be presenting and I am happy with it.

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Evanescence - Missing

Artist: Evanescence Title: Missing Album: Anywhere but home Lyrics: Please, please, please Can you stop the fire? Can you stand to fight her? You can't stop ...

Something else is missing from this piece and ironically, I was inspired by a song called ‘Missing’ by Evanescence. During the intro and the outro (mainly), there is a series of strange, eerie whispers that complete the tone of just pure creepy, it was what my sound was lacking, just that extra small dose of sinister. I recorded a few tracks of me whispering various words like ‘slice’, ‘tear’ and ‘please’ that play throughout the whole track but is only really prominent during the beginning and end. 

I’m so glad that something that I have been listening to for years has actually made me figure out the one small thing I needed.

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I have done it! I have made the final sound and when I heard it, I didn’t particularly like the sound of it, I realised that something was missing and that was when I turned to something I didn’t think I would ever use again: My instrument. The monstrosity that I made in unit 3 that makes horrific noises and looks like a bunch of sticks. When I presented it last year, the tutors seemed to love it even though in my eyes, it was just a heap of junk.

Because of the jarring sounds that are already in this piece, I figured that an unsteady beat of out of tune twangs would go pretty well with the rest of the sound. It’s actually my favorite part of the whole thing.

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I have edited and layered a few things now and I have had my group tutorial, unfortunately, when it came to present it to everyone, it didn’t work, turns out I hadn’t exported it. Instead I had to show everyone my various sound files that went into making the edit which was embarrassing because they don’t sound to good on their own.

The feedback that I got most was to do with the way I was planning to present it. It was mostly about the way it would be playing though headphones, sure, it might be more intimate, but that not enough and I agree. I liked Gin’s idea the most of having everyone in a dark space to physically recreate that uncomfortable and awkward feeling, I have decided that I really want to use that now and I wish I had thought of it myself.

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Focusing on sounds, I have been recording different sounds to layer into my sound piece. I have just been playing around with a few things and have discovered that I enjoy the sounds that are far more unpleasant which I think goes with the theme of scarring and hurt. The sounds that I have are sounds like scratching of the skin and running scalpels over my leg. My favorite sound so far is the sounds of my knuckles cracking, because that is always cringe inducing for other people. 

When my audience listens to it, I want it to be uncomfortable for them, I also want it to be brief, something small that just captures that moment. The narrative at this point is almost and add-in, the focus has kind of shifted to the sound, but I am okay with that in a way as sound is not really my strongest point.

Something I have learned in this unit is that not everything has to be perfect, it doesn’t have to be polished, it doesn’t even have to make sense to people, it’s just showing people the stuff that comes out of your brain and is released into the bubble of “creativity”. Therefore, my sound might not be perfect, it may not even sound all that nice, but who cares? That’s my sound, and it’s what I have made, so either’ like it, or lump it.

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I requested to have one last one-to-one tutorial with Richard before our group tutorial to discuss where I feel as though I am going wrong and to talk about my options when it comes to presenting my work in the critique.

He told me that layering my sounds would be the best option for me as having a selection option would probably be too distracting and I agree. Plus I can make edited sounds sound however I want to and how I want it to be listened to, whereas having just plain sound files to listen to, it would severely limit me. He asked me how I would like to present it, and when I said through headphones, he seemed to like the idea because of how intimate it would make it which is what I want it to come across as. I have also thought about having it in the bottom corridor of the old building as it’s a high traffic area where people can just pick it up and listen and the walk away.

An issue that I have been having that has been pointed out to me is that I tend to mainly focus on how the finished products will look like and come across even though it’s not yet finished. I don’t focus enough on enjoying the process of creating, I know this about myself, it sucks because it really holds me back, my work ends up being not being what I want it to be, I end up making work because I feel as though I have to and not because I want to. It will be something that I need to work on over the year.

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I have written and recorded a few of my poems already but I’m not entirely proud of a couple of them, but I’m just wondering if that’s because they’re so raw and vulnerable and if it makes me slightly uncomfortable to show that side of myself. Another conflict that I am having is that I am the only person who has read them and I am a bit of a sucker for approval. I read one of them to Richard over the phone and he seemed to like it, but to be fair, I did read him my best one.

Another issue I’m having is if I should edit them so they’re overlapping each other, or if it should be like a random selection thing so that the listener can choose which one to listen to as I want them to be listened to through headphones, that way it is more personal and intimate.

I am also wondering if I should upload my poems to this research journal, or if I should just leave to put into my work evidence. Maybe I’ll do both, I’m still not sure yet.

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Heather Phillipson

“Heather Phillipson works across video, sculpture, drawing, music, texts and live events. Forthcoming projects include the Fourth Plinth in Trafalgar Square in 2020, and significant solo shows at BALTIC Center for Contemporary Art and Art Underground’s flagship site at Gloucester Road Station in 2018. She was Artist in Residence at the Drawing Room London in 2017 and received the Film London Jarman Award 2016.” - http://www.heatherphillipson.co.uk/biog (Biography, second paragraph.)

Although Heather Phillipson is a multimedia artist, I will be focusing on her poetry as that is what my art for this unit will relate with the most.

Although her poetry doesn’t really coincide with my specific subject of scars and relation to identity, it is very morbid and dark, something that can be related to my own work, but she does it in a more obvious way. I have also found that quite a few of her poems are of a sexual nature which annoyingly kind of reminds me of Tracy Emin (who’s art I really can’t stand). Another reoccurring theme that I have noticed in her poetry is dogs for some reason, I think it might being able to easily relate vulnerability to dogs. My poetry pretty much encompasses the semantic field of vulnerability, which is good considering the subject.   

The poetry of hers that I have been reading can be found here: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/poems/89329/from-more-flinching

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I didn’t get a single response to the mass e-mail that I sent out and really, I am not entirely surprised, in hindsight, it was quite and impersonal way to do it, but because of that, I don’t feel as though I have enough confidence in the time that I have to go bigger on this. 

Luckily, I have just had my third tutorial with Richard and I realised that I don’t have to go bigger and that can actually go smaller and still produce a cohesive piece of work. 

Something else that I have learned is to not rely on other people to collaborate in your work, just rely on yourself.

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Change of Plans! 2.0

I’ve decided that the physical side of this isn’t working for me at all, which just leaves the narrative part of my plan and to be honest, I’m glad because writing is what I think I am probably strongest at. My theme is still the same, that variable hasn’t changed, I don’t even think I’m capable of changing it anymore lest my brain explodes.

I would like to talk to different people and gain their perspectives on scars and how they may impact their lives, if at all. I sent out a mass e-mail to everyone in my class asking for anything ranging from written pieces to just opinions on scars and the impact on identity. I did this as having a test audience before going bigger. Now I’m just waiting for responses.

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So, the attempt at printing scars didn’t work.

I tried it on myself with the surgical scars on my ankle and it came out looking nothing like how Ted Meyer had done it. Granted, I did use acrylic paint instead of ink, but it wasn’t the substance that had been the issue, it’s because my scars protrude from my skin and therefore, it just came out as a splodge with nothing in it.

I tried everything from pulling my scars, pushing the scars, going around the scars, only going on the scars and nothing seems to work. Maybe someday I’ll manage to figure it out and come back to it because I really like this concept.

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Ted Meyer

“Ted Meyer loves bodies. He loves to paint them, photograph them and even print off them...” “He loves healthy bodies, but also in states of trauma and healing. He creates puzzles of bodies that celebrate sexuality and survival.” -http://www.tedmeyer.com/ (home page)

I find beauty in these artist statements, that could mostly be because I have finally found something that I can relate to when researching for this idea, it could also stem from finding something that I deeply want to work with.

I have never really worked with bodies before, but that sense of identity that comes through the journeys our bodies have gone through in our lifetime, is what I want to heavily explore. 

Although Ted Meyer has done a diverse range of projects, his ‘Art and Med’ series is what I really want to focus on. Throughout this series he explores the work of scars. He has what is called the ‘Scarred for Life Project’ and the ‘Scarred for Life Veterans Project’.

The ‘Scarred for Life Project’ is an ever growing series of mono-prints, visually depicting other peoples trauma’s through their scars. He has been creating and documenting people’s scars through mono-print for over sixteen years and now has over one-hundred prints. Adding to this, each print is accompanied by a photo of who the print is of, taken by Ted Meyer, as well as a written by the subjects themselves.

All of this absolutely fascinates me as I have been struggling with my ideas on how to get a footing with all of this but I knew that I wanted to work with scars as well as narratives and written work. Then I type into google ‘Artists that work with scars’ and I eventually come across Ted Meyer who is perfect for what I plan on doing and want to explore more of his work in this unit.

The ‘Scarred for Life Veterans Project’ is similar to the previous one that I described, only is deals with soldiers scars instead which are quite a lot bigger and much more jagged than regular surgery scars, they also usually come with a lot more narrative too.

This will heavily influence my work, but I worry that I will end up with the same outcome, I’m not sure if that’s entirely a bad thing, but I don’t want to be accused of copying him. To be fair to myself, I did come up with this concept before I found out about Ted Meyer. Maybe I’ll take it a step further and for the next unit, compose a documentary interview either about the work that I have done for this unit, or documenting the people I used and interviewing them on their story.

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Just had my second tutorial meeting with Richard, everything that I have been thinking is still in the concept phase so it was a little difficult for him to recommend artists that would relate to exactly what I’m doing. The main thing that I got out of the tutorial is that I need to get some experimentation done so that I can set myself on an actual pathway, then I might be able to figure out what I actually want to create and showcase.

I’m not as lost this time as this idea actually has potential to be something, but I’m still having trouble trying to figure out what medium to use.

I also know that I still want to work with my theme of narrative, but I was struggling on how to include that in this idea. Then during my discussion with Richard, I realised that narrative can actually come into a big part of this. I want to work with skin and scars, so by asking someone how they got their scars and maybe compiling them and creating one large narrative. The only problem with that is that I wouldn’t know how to present that into something coherent. 

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With this idea of ‘body mapping’, I would like to create a photography based piece drawing from my findings and documentation. After my ‘progress so far’ meeting, Lois suggested using my structure over content idea from my previous idea and bringing it into this one and instead of doing photography work, to interview individuals with skin abnormalities and present my findings from that instead. Apparently my body mapping photography idea isn’t strong enough on its own. I understand that, but I would still like to do it even if it is for experimentation.

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Change of Plans!

Surprise, Surprise! Just like with every other unit I have ever done, I have changed my whole idea and concept as well as execution. Like I had mentioned in an earlier post, I took part in Paul’s creative writing class and whilst I was listening intently, I began doodling on myself, drawing a series of dot-to-dots with the moles on my arm. It created quite a cool shape and then I realised and then it made me realise that everyone’s bodies could tell a story, be it with moles, scars or birthmarks and I think it could be kind of amazing to document people’s visual uniqueness and maybe draw around them to create this kind of body map.

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Melting Snowball

Unit 5 Masterclass writing exercise.

(Pertains to Unit 6)

He comes home to the empty space of his house The mood in the space is dark and somber Then light bathes the corner of the room There is warm light but only silence A dull thud of winter boots Cable has been shut off  Static fills his space The lonely space Lonely lives Silence