Alastair Gideon Wilde

Hobbies include fucking shit up and stealing your wives.

[neverland-graphics]

Sam Claflin 250x400 avatars (46-54)

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[gradianalastair]

emilixnocrc​:

[PM]: The “estate”. I might be middle class, but that’s too up itself even for me.

[PM] I’m the poshest motherfucker you know, fuck off.

[gradianalastair]

txbiaswilde​:

Oh come on now, not all politicians have nefarious intentions.

That’s just what a politician with nefarious intentions would say to throw us off.

But seriously, what’s your stance on public health safety. I am very pro ‘free condoms for all.’ That’s an important selling point if you want my vote.

[txbiaswilde]

Well, I am very pleased to announce that you are looking at an official candidate for the Labour party in the upcoming local election next month. I’ve long considered getting into politics in an effort to make vital changes to benefit the north east, and with Emerson having started nursery full time now, this seems like the perfect time to make this goal a reality.

I do hope I can count on the support of you all — in hopes that a lot of you will be voting Labour, of course — and if so, am looking forward to working towards implementing the changes you all want to see.

[gradianalastair]

And he falls to the dark side, politics. I’m sure you’ll make a fine PM or whatever it is you’re running for.

[gradianalastair]

emilixnocrc​:

[PM]: Shack up with you and Theo? Christ.

[PM] Elsewhere in the estate, obviously. I’m not offering a slumber party here. Unless you really want to paint my nails and do my hair.

[gradianalastair]

emilixnocrc​:

[PM]: My relationship is a lot more “traditional” than yours.

[PM] Well, there’s your problem. Kidding. I don’t know, mate. I don’t have any answers for you. You’ve always got a place to crash with me if shit goes even further south.

[gradianalastair]

kncxsmy​:

Nah, I still think you’re getting nostalgic in your age.

For your body, yes, I’ve admitted that.

[gradianalastair]

kncxsmy​:

Why don’t you tell me, since you’re coming back for more?

I don’t mind a buzzkill if they’re fit enough. Clearly.

[gradianalastair]

kncxsmy​:

Lighten up, no one likes a buzzkill in the bedroom.

Then why do so many people like fucking you?

[gradianalastair]

kncxsmy​:

Hmm… not sure i’m fully satisfied with that answer.

Somehow me admitting that I don’t hate you did not satisfy your desire to hear me admit that I don’t hate you? Seek therapy.

[gradianalastair]

kncxsmy​:

That you don’t hate me near as much as you’re trying to pretend you do.

Alright fine, I’ll admit it. I have moved past hatred and into indifference. You are still a complete dickhead and you annoy the fuck out of me, but I don’t hate you, Knox. Happy?

[gradianalastair]

kncxsmy​:

At least I know a way to get all of that frustration out, huh? Best get on a punching bag, you’re not getting in my bed until you admit it.

Run it by me again, what fantasy is it that you’re wanting me to admit exactly?

[gradianalastair]

kncxsmy​:

You don’t need literacy to read between the lines. Go on, admit it, it’ll feel good to get it off of your chest.

The only thing on my chest is the burning desire to scream ‘CUNT’ every time I see you walking by. I’m hoping to suppress that long enough for us to fuck.

[gradianalastair]

emilixnocrc​:

[PM]: Okay, so we’re back to not helping.

[PM] What? That would work for me and Theo.

[gradianalastair]

kncxsmy​:

Hm, not reading as that.

All those books and you’re terrible at reading.

[gradianalastair]

emilixnocrc​:

[PM]: Yeah, alright. I don’t know, how the fuck do you plan telling your fiancé that you cheated with your ex-husband right after signing the divorce papers?

[PM] Tell him it was a farewell fuck?

[gradianalastair]

kncxsmy​:

And yet you still want me.

Your body. Let’s be specific on that.