Grand Master Confetti Cannon

GAG ME WITH A RUSTY SPOON.

[grandmasterconfetticannon]

I’M THE KIND OF TREE THAT’S STILL IN THE FUCKING BOX BECAUSE IT IS ONLY 12 DAYS POST HALLOWEEN AND NOT EVEN THANKSGIVING YET YOU SAVAGES.

[grandmasterconfetticannon]

OFFICE LIFE BE LIKE...

[grandmasterconfetticannon]

IT’S GREAT TO FINALLY BE RECOGNIZED...

[grandmasterconfetticannon]

ME WATCHING FOOTBALL WITH BOYFRIEND... vs. NOW WATCHING FOOTBALL WHEN WE’RE MARRIED.

[grandmasterconfetticannon]

‪Whoever discovered how to make lemon curd is a ballsy kitchen genius. #baking #foodthoughts ‬

[grandmasterconfetticannon]

I'M SORRY FOR ALL THE 2014 INSTAGRAM PHOTOS MY BUTT LIKED WHEN MY PHONE WAS IN MY BACK POCKET.

[grandmasterconfetticannon]

POOR CAROL.

[grandmasterconfetticannon]

WHY WAS PHOEBE HOMELESS BEFORE SHE LIVED WITH HER GRANDMOTHER? WHERE WAS GRANDMA BEFORE PHOEBE'S MOTHER KILLED HERSELF?

[grandmasterconfetticannon]

SOMEONE TELL ME WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM?!?!? NEVER TOO MUCH GUAC.

[grandmasterconfetticannon]

WHAT THE ACTUAL DUCK...

[grandmasterconfetticannon]

THE ONLY THING SESAME STREET DIDN'T TEACH ME TO DEAL WITH AS AN ADULT IS THE LINGERING CONFUSION ON THE MECHANICS OF COOKIE MONSTER'S EYES.

[grandmasterconfetticannon]

#arthistory #franssnyders #1613 #roastme #gordonramsay #oops

[grandmasterconfetticannon]

COINCIDENCE?! I THINK NOT. BOTH WILL WRECK YOU.

[grandmasterconfetticannon]

CEPHALOPODS DON’T GET THE CREDIT THEY F*ING DESERVE…

LOOK AT THIS DUDE. JUST LOOK AT IT.

THIS DUDE IS JUST CHILLIN’…

THIS ONE IS FABULOUS AND KNOWS IT.

THESE GUYS ARE F*ING LIGHT UP, MAJESTIC BEAUTIES.

THIS ONE JUST WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND.

THIS ONE COULDN’T DECIDE BETWEEN ZEBRA STRIPES OR LEOPARD PRINT, BUT SHE’S F*ING PULLING IT OFF.

 THIS ONE CAN PULL OF BLUE LIKE NOBODY’S BUSINESS.

AND THIS ONE IS LIKE, “CLAM AT ME, BRO. I’LL F*ING EAT YOU WHILE YOU’RE STILL ALIVE. NO REGRETS!”

[jessigrino]

WHAT?! This things have their own religion!! #HailCthulhu

[grandmasterconfetticannon]

BEG TO DIFFER. CTHULHU HAS ARMS AND WINGS. CEPHALOPODS DON’T EVEN HAVE AN EXOSKELETON, AND STILL BADASSERY EXUDES. ;)

[thedesignwalker]

Stairs

[grandmasterconfetticannon]

"WELL CRAP. GINA, YOUR MOM IS HERE AGAIN..."

[grandmasterconfetticannon]

MANFREDI, THE ORIGINAL GANGSTER.

[thedesignwalker]

Pink and grey stairs

[grandmasterconfetticannon]

"TELL YOU WHAT, GINA... COMPLAIN ABOUT US NOT INSTALLING AN ELEVATOR ALL YOU WANT, BUT YOUR LEGS ARE BANGIN'."