Lipstick on my Cigarette

Annamarie, she/they, 24, married, art, sex, feminism, weed

[stillglowinstillcrowin-deactiva]

who won the throne thingy

[if-only-angels-could-prevail]

you

[stillglowinstillcrowin-deactiva]

[tortoistor]

movie tropes that will never get old to me:

a thing happens + two people exchanging money in the back

fourth wall breaking

“give up all your weapons” and that one guy that spends the entire evening taking his weights worth out his pockets

*a terribly loud crash* meowing/ car sirens heard offscreen

alternatively: a terribly loud crash and one of the characters going “oops” in the most casual voice

“fuck you” “well if you insist”

[nerdgasrnz]

#alternatively alternatively: *terribly loud crash w/ sirens and cat screeching*#person: *off camera* ‘I’M OKAY’ (via @zenlida)

[count-di-luna]

character being all “you expect me to do X?” Gilligan Cut to character doing X

[susiephone]

the squad gets captured and interrogated separately, and they’re all telling equally terrible, completely contradictory lies

people completely missing the completely unsubtle, very visible dangerous thing in the room with them

alternatively, people absolutely seeing the completely unsubtle, very visible dangerous thing in the room with them and just not giving a shit

bonus points if it’s a beleaguered minimum wage employee who just goes about their business like “yep same shit as always”

someone pretending they don’t know another character is eavesdropping, only to casually reveal at the end of the scene that they know (*leaving* “tell tom that he can come out now” *tom drops from the ceiling in spy gear, irritated*)

choosing to deal with the villain by just leaving them alone in a room with another character

the “hands go down” trope

example: “any questions?” *everyone’s hands go up* “…that AREN’T sarcastic?” *everyone’s hands go down*

[neonprotagonist]

how could all y'all forget “ACT NATURAL!”

[beradan]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

These are all great but let’s not forget two characters giving extremely biased flashbacks to the same event that each paint the other as an incompetent loon

[stunt-muppet]

i would like to respectfully add: scenes where a character walks into a room, sees something scary, and turns around and walks out with no reaction or change of expression

[roachpatrol]

a high-stakes zany action scene forced to come to a complete halt while some characters take a very, very long elevator ride

[bob-belcher]

Lizzo performing Truth Hurts at the 2019 BET Awards.

[buffyslays]

[mothman-pseudanthium]

[pathfindernerds]

“I just feel so dead inside…”

“Dead inside, you say? I know something that might just work”

[bear-maximum-deactivated2021090]

reanimate my will to live

[feebledungeons]

Wake me up inside

[officialweatherwax]

What Not To Wear: oh, you work outdoors and like to wear shorts and boots and flannel? Gross. You must wear Fashion now. Here’s a three-piece suit and some designer shoes.

Queer Eye: oh, you work outdoors and like to wear shorts and boots and flannel? You know, if you just try a different cut of jeans and get some clean new boots you can still look like a professional in your shorts and hiking shirts. Also let me recommend some breathable fabrics so you don’t stink as much when you get sweaty.

[cakeandpi]

Also Queer Eye: Are you wearing sunscreen? Because we care about you please wear sunscreen

[lotmscene]

[andinakpocsevan]

[rust-never-rests]

Good Night White Pride…

[bihalien]

Me as Joe dkhskhsjs

[melissa-benoists]

this is LITERALLY the funniest promotional piece that anyone has ever made for a tv show or movie ever

[buffyslays]

[museofthirst]

cursed videos gen z kids who had access to the internet by age 5 probably saw

[museofthirst]

but wait- there’s more

if i add one more thing to this post ill explode

[sabertoothwalrus]

you forgot

shoes

[jensendogequackleswinchester]

Shoes

[themorallibertine]

[nvara-of-mortains-own]

[fathermulcahyofficial]

[vacillating-bpd-queen]

[fiti-vation]

[ernasd]

oh this is a life saver

[gallusrostromegalus]

So these are both “Aw Fuck I’m outta real food” meals BUT ALSO:  if you’re learning how to cook, these are great “baby steps” meals to learn how to cook basics into something enjoyable without “wasting” anything expensive.  Though I maintain that even cooking screw-ups are valuable in terms of lessons learned.

Also they’re great for when you get absorbed in something and you realize your blood sugar is dropping and you need to make something Quick.

[asymbina]

I don’t think of myself as a cook at all, but I looked through this list and was like “if you have [center] and [any item on a surrounding ring] how do you sit there thinking you’ve got nothing to eat?” Like, I buy a fair amount of staples knowing that I’ll be able to quickly assemble them into something tasty if I’m hungry and don’t have anything instant (or in a leftovers container because I made it earlier in the week specifically to eat for a week): butter, cheese, noodles, and more.

[elodieunderglass]

It still impresses people how I can go into random kitchens with no food in them and emerge with Filling Snacks for Five People. This is the secret: knowing how to assemble Cupboard Meals. And these charts are incredibly well-laid-out too!

[crxmes]

via weheartit

[bluesmoth]

[deuslex]

posts like these I dread laughing at near other people because there is absolutely no way that I can explain this