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Because I just got a notification from this account:

This place is a dead zone. Nothing resides here.

Go check out stayinggray, i hear that guy's not that bad. :I

i had a few videos from rythian up and paused and suddenly my entire browser decided to refresh itself so all i could hear was “hello, my na— hello, my name’s— my name’s rythian— hello” and it was so scary

Wait! You can't leave! Please, please don't go. Please Gray, you can't leave us when we're like this.

I just- I can't CD. I tick off you and Rhed, I some how managed to get the anons sent on him again, everything's going to hell in a handbasket- It was my post that started this crap, and I can't take this drama any more.

I love you guys, and I want to keep in touch, but this fandom is literally making me sob in my bedroom right now.

If this fandom were a guy I was dating, at this point it would count as an abusive relationship.

I jsut- I can't.

Goodbye

So, today made me realize something: I fucking hate being active in a fandom.

I hate being part of the drama. I hate that my opinion matters. I hate that people actually read my shit, pay attention to my shit opinions.

So, I'm moving house. If you actually care enough to see my new blog, message me, I'll send it in an ask.

The drama caused the first flair in my depression I've had in almost a month. The first self harming urges in a month. The first suicidal urges in longer than that.

I literally cannot take this fandom anymore, so I'm leaving.

It was amazing whilst it lasted, and I apologize to those who I managed to befriend and betray.

This is the coward's way out, but what can I say? Knight's my title for a reason, we're cowards one and all.

See you on the flip side.

Wait, so this Red guy told the yogscast about yogsylum AND sototallylittlewood? Goddamnit, this guy sounds like a total ass. Would it help if I told all my friends in the yogtags to send him harsh asks? It sounds like he's a character we don't want in the fandom, or even on tumblr. Maybe he'll kill himself and we won't have to share the same planet anymore! Hah, yes, I'll go tell everyone right away!

Fuck you anon I don't need to deal with your shit right now.

Rhed's a better person than I am, send your hate here. n

I just feel sick to my stomach right now.

I just alienated two people I think of as friends, and I just really want to delete everything right now and go back to my old fandoms, where no one shames the fanauthors.

vosghoul

I don’t know if I’m going to be writing fan fictions anymore.

There’s just so much shit going around, people arguing about where to post it, and then people showing them(being the actual members of the Yogscast) the ships and tags.

Quite literally I’m ashamed for writing that stuff now, seeing as how they just reacted.

Yes, I realize it’s their characters, but it’s still them, in a form.

I really just don’t know.

In which Gray has her foot in her mouth

What I typed was in haste: yes.

What I typed was in shame: yes.

What I typed was in horror: yes.

What I typed was a gut reaction: yes.

What I typed was a reflection of the fandom: no.

What I typed was a reflection on you guys: no.

What I typed was intended as anything other than a 'holyshit they're looking at our ship tag and HATING ON IT': NO.

On the Stream, they were hating on the tag, calling it gross and not liking it. what I said was in a kneejerk reaction to the fact that someone I look up to was hating on something I enjoyed.

I didn't intend what I said as an attack on any of you, or at the fandom as a whole.

Yes, we write about the characters, not the people, but this borders extremely closely on RPF, and we all know this.

In conclusion: I'm sorry I said what I did. I'm sorry I reacted like I did.

Hi hi hi!

1. First impression: Oh, hey, someone got onto my shitty stream! 2. Truth is: A really awesome person got onto that stream 3. How old do you look: I... don't know?4. Have you ever made me laugh: Very often. 5. Have you ever made me mad: Nope!6. Best feature: You're just pretty epic all around

7. Have I ever had a crush on you: Nope. 8. You’re my: Friend. 9. Name in my phone: N/A 10. Should you post this too? Sure!

Gray QAQ The feeling that washed over me when they told them to look into the STLW tag was such a bad one! Now I feel like crap, it sucks.

I know. I have no clue how high I was up in the tag, and I honestly don't want to know. the only saving grace is that Henry said 'some of this is pretty good'. Everything else was just... I need chocolate and fluff of a fandom that doesn't shame it's ficcer.

drhednaught-leviathan replied to your post: Dear douche who tole Martyn to go into the...

woah calm down there…if it malicious in intent, then yeah, he/she is a douche, but if the intent was harmless, then this is very, very similar to where I told Ryth about yogsylum. I don’t want anyone to have to go through what I did that night, yo.

I just- ugh, I can't even any more. There's all of this tag shame going around, and when we DO pay attention to tags, and we DO keep our shipfic in the tags, someone goes and points out those tags to the players.

I'm honestly sick of this in the fandom and it's shit. If you want to promo your stuff like you did, Rhed, that's one thing. Throwing a pairing tag out at the two it's about, on a livestream, is kinda dicky. It's a dick move. Rhed, you and Sorou had talked about it. There was no discussion about this.

This is like if someone wanted to promo their fic and said 'check the yogslash tag!' rather than 'check my fic out'.

#drhednaught-leviathan

/casually untags everything she wrote

Dear douche who tole Martyn to go into the sototallylittlewood tag. You are a douche.

Hi!!

1. First impression: Who is this dude, why is he late to the stream of awesome, and why is everyone yelling at him?2. Truth is: You are a pretty good kid, even if everyone was yelling at you on the stream. 3. How old do you look: 15.4. Have you ever made me laugh: Fairly often 5. Have you ever made me mad: Not that I can remember6. Best feature: You're pretty funny, and have the makings of a pretty decent adult if you keep it up. 7. Have I ever had a crush on you: ...no. 8. You’re my: Friend, hopefully. 9. Name in my phone: N/A10. Should you post this too? If you want.