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@gremlinini
how to make cute boy notice me
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okay. alright. so book howl. much more interesting and nuanced and worse and better than movie howl. howl who is “heartless” throughout the first book, yet still undercharges anyone who can sell him a convincing enough sob story. howl who endlessly pursues girls to make them love him, yet never realizes that without his heart, their love means nothing to him. howl, who shows the most concern of anyone when sophie has heart issues after seeing the scarecrow. howl, who does the wrong things so that he can do the right things in secret without people noticing. howl, who tries to use sophie’s jealousy to stop the prophecy from coming true, but fails to realize that her kindness would outweigh her jealousy. book howl.
confession time:
all through high school and college, i would tell people i was allergic to fish bc i didn’t like the smell and didn’t want to be forced to try it. i always felt bad for lying, but it was just easier that way.
fast forward to 27-year-old me, who went to a sushi place, tried lobster for the first time, and promptly had an allergic reaction.
the leader of your country, a clinically insane man, orders you to build a pyre for his dead son and set him on fire with it. a tiny man, who seems to be of relatively sound mind, and who arrived in your city a few days ago with a wizard who seems to know what he’s doing, tries to get you to stop, claiming that the son is not dead.
do you:
a) stop and check if the son is actually dead or not
b) stop, realizing that you probably shouldn’t set your country’s leader on fire, given that he now presumably has no heirs, which will send the country into political turmoil in the middle of a war
c) leave and help defend your city, which is currently being attacked by apparently every bad guy in the world
or d) say “lmfao lit 🔥” and burn your boss alive
Okay, but this is missing the context that his son is the absolute BEST manager you've ever had. Like, this guy had your back as far as he could have it. So, think about that before you set them on fire
i know it was a very 2000s feminism girlboss movie addition but you have to love arwen drawing her sword at the river and telling the witch king to come over and claim frodo if he wants him so bad. truly the high fantasy equivalent of yelling “come say that on my side of the street motherfucker”. the spirit of luthien tinuviel was alive within her in that moment.
Boromir “They took the little ones” really doesn’t get enough credit for how sweet he is to Merry and Pippin. Sword fighting and training with them, protecting them from orcs - despite his flaws he was kind at heart.
the leader of your country, a clinically insane man, orders you to build a pyre for his dead son and set him on fire with it. a tiny man, who seems to be of relatively sound mind, and who arrived in your city a few days ago with a wizard who seems to know what he’s doing, tries to get you to stop, claiming that the son is not dead.
do you:
a) stop and check if the son is actually dead or not
b) stop, realizing that you probably shouldn’t set your country’s leader on fire, given that he now presumably has no heirs, which will send the country into political turmoil in the middle of a war
c) leave and help defend your city, which is currently being attacked by apparently every bad guy in the world
or d) say “lmfao lit 🔥” and burn your boss alive
i took an mtbi test and it just said “autistic” wtf
playing mario kart as a male must be so boring. go roleplay as a little fat plumber, boy. I’m gonna be an 8-foot-tall goddess who rules the whole galaxy
not that anyone asked, and not like it’s been said a hundred times before, but I watched lord of the rings again and I am contractually obligated to tell everyone that the reason they couldn’t have taken the eagles into mordor is because the entire quest relied on the fact that sauron didn’t think they would want to destroy the ring.
Gandalf even says in the movies, “that we should seek to destroy the ring has not even entered their darkest dreams.” with sauron’s constant vigilance, the eagles would have been a dead giveaway that they were gonna destroy the ring. the ring’s whole schtick is that it takes such a strong hold on the wearer that they lose all willpower to destroy it.
this is also the reason a hobbit, “the unlikeliest creature imaginable,” is the only one with the strength to even make the decision to destroy it, because sauron poured “all of his hate, cruelty, and malice” into it—feelings that he felt for all races on Middle Earth, save for hobbits, whose existence he wasn’t even aware of until the events of lord of the rings. Hobbits, who cared not for power, glory, or honor; whose greatest desire was to eat, drink, and be merry (and garden), could resist the power of the ring because it wasn’t their nature to desire it.
furthermore, another “problem” often given with lord of the rings is that the entrance to mount doom wasn’t guarded. however, sauron had no reason to believe that anyone knew how to destroy the ring. having orcs guard an otherwise seemingly-unimportant entrance to a volcano (in the middle of a vast land swarming with orcs) would be the middle-earth equivalent of a flashing neon sign saying, “THROW RING HERE PLS.” Sauron, being super incorporeal and probably majorly freaking out at the time, probably had no idea that Elrond and Isildur nearly succeeded in destroying the ring, so the fact that not only did an immortal being know how to destroy it, the only other person there WROTE IT DOWN and a freaking MAIA managed to find that writing (never mind the fact that it was the one Maia who was most likely to do something about it)!
so stop trying to find something wrong with lord of the rings. you will not, and everyone will laugh at you
Pinterest is the dumbest site actually… sure it is an endless feed of things specifically catered to you but it also takes 8-12 business days to retrain the algorithm after every update and oh yeah, it updates every two weeks for no reason and they’ll just randomly remove their best feature every so often with no warning. Some boards have different features with no rhyme or reason, and the alphabetize function for boards just… doesn’t work. It never has and it never will. It’s also my most-used app and nothing can ever replace it
It’s been a while since they did “celebrities read mean tweets” but if they had any balls they’d do “celebrities read tumblr posts about themselves” see how they react to being called scrungly
