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info @griefprofiled, temporarily moved here for my sanity uwu

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@griefchoked
☆PINNED POST☆
info @griefprofiled, temporarily moved here for my sanity uwu
the effort i just had to go to in order to login here bc i forgot which of the like 11 variations of my email this account was and then had to reset the passwords for ALL OF THEM bc it was the last one i tried and this godforsaken app wouldn't let me any other way bc it's been so long since i was active 💀 anyway yes hi hello i miss writing my martyr son
MARCUS KANE BUNKER ERA BOARD
'It’s so much darker when a light goes out than it would have been if it had never shone' - John Steinbeck, The Winter Of Our Discontent
PERVERSE INSTANTIATION PTS 1 & 2 3x15/3x16
[bad guy by the interrupters plays from another room]
@griefchoked said : “ hold still— you’ve got blood on your face. ”
She barely heard him over the ringing in her ears, hands shaking as she instinctively fought Kane off, before realizing that it was him and she was in their dorm. There was indeed blood splattered across her face, because their Heda had come up with a plan to solve the food shortage: everyone who committed a crime had to fight in an arena to the death. The loser would be….used to make nutritional cubes to feed the people inside the bunker. A horrific idea in itself and Wanda would have much preferred to starve to death, despite being with child, but having to witness the slaughter inside the arena had broken something in her. She had never belonged to one of the more violent clans, had chosen peace rather than war and stayed away from most altercations, but now she was trapped in a nightmare that she couldn’t escape from. There was no way out of this bunker and all they could do was watch helplessly what the so called leaders decided. How was she supposed to bring a child into this disastrous world? Even though she knew Marcus was about to touch her face with a cloth, Wanda still twitched slightly when he did, hands digging into her dress. “Why…why are we allowing this to happen? How can we let a child rule us, who wants us to eat our own people? This isn’t ancient Rome. No one should have to fight in an arena”, she whispered, staring blankly ahead.
He let her settle, waiting long enough to be sure that she was present and knew it wasn't backing her into a corner before getting at least most of the stray blood from her face. How could it be answered? He had been instrumental in placing Octavia in power, because there hadn't been any real choice. And now, again, there wasn't a choice. She had held other people's lives over his head, to keep him in line. Next time, it could be someone else dead in payment. Abby. Wanda. The list went on. Anyone. People didn't deserve to die for his recalcitrance. "I'm so sorry." And it was true. Had he known then what he knew now, would he have closed the bunker with no one inside? Perhaps. Probably not. Hope would have won out even if maybe it shouldn't have. "Nothing lasts forever." It was what he told himself sometimes, and whether it helped or not was negligible but he said it anyway. "At least try to sleep."
The Mountain Goats // No Children
In my life, I hope I lie And tell everyone you were a good wife And I hope you die I hope we both die
TERMS AND CONDITIONS WAS A LEWK™
1x01 'PILOT' // 6x01 'SANCTUM'
Please say honestly you won’t give up on me
I AM CHOKING ON MY OWN LAUGHTER OMG its midnight and i ran kane thru that face app and i was right, it is-- in fact-- THE FUNNIEST THING IVE EVER SEEEEEEEEN
Perhaps it was an aggressive subconscious push back against the architects of his grief that seemed to have turned the volume down on it-- that he was not like them, he would not be pushed so far by loss as to consider any avenue that they would have. Even if that loss was Abby. And it had been. But he found himself unable to reach anything beyond standard sorrow and regret that could be put on a shelf somewhere that it didn't get in the way or make him want to burn anymore of the world down than had already been destroyed. Enough had been taken fom all of them-- even Russell, now-- and so what could he do but simply try to make sure it stopped here and now?
Even if it meant allowing the title of Marcus Prime to go unchallenged by him for a little while, so that he could act as an intermediary between factions until things settled. People had sacrificed their lives, he could sacrifice the part of him that dissolved everytime he didn't challenge the reverantly spoken moniker, in exchange for peace.
"All this will take much longer, if we lose you to lack of sleep." Idle comment rather than indictment or true criticism, he sat beside her on the palace steps with a fleeting smile. "How are you holding up?"
@damnbrain
The last time he had seen her, he had choked on his own blood and she had told him his fight was over. Well, they'd both been wrong. Her, in that assumption, and he, everytime in between when he had been ready to go. Misplaced in the worst possible way, he had unwillingly escaped death again only to lose the person who had gotten the door open just in time-- they had erased her, just like they had erased the man who had once lived in the body he now endured. The things we do to each other. Every new start seemed to cost them more and more, and often now he wondered if they really were just wired that way; hardwired to inflict horror and grief on other people in the name of getting what they wanted or thought they deserved.
Now, in the city they had either conquered or liberated, depending on whom one spoke to, history repeated. But, the anger he had used as a raft against drowning had evaporated, leaving him in the now familiar state of acknowledgement of his own mistakes. While that list was considerable, there was only one that could be immediately dealt with for better or worse.
"Octavia." Attention pulled from the papers littering the table, he paused as the pencil was lay aside and he straightened from where he had been leaning over the outlined plans. Marcus Prime, the people here called him; and even if he hated it, it bought the opportunity for easier negotiations as it made him not simply tolerated like most who were now demanding residents. "I owe you an apology." Head tilted as if in concession. "Several."
@headstrongblake
SEASON SIX BUT A 🌠KANE MOOD🌠
[old yeller by joji but every time he breathes it gets fASTER]
good evening lets chat about how confused he was about this because on the ark he had been an island his whole life and never invited or even really allowed unprovoked affectionate intimacy, so he bluescreens for a moment. which is why he repeatedly a) tells her later that she saved him on a human level, and b) he repeatedly forgives her trespasses; because before, he had no real tether and was an island and can't imagine the idea of being alone again, so she gets away with pretty much anything, and he lets it all slide because he loves her and had never had even the imagining of such a tie before this
☆STARTER CALL BABYYYY☆