These lil' idiots

welcome to hell, i mean my 1x1, where i tend to just vomit angst and somehow people still volunteer to write with me. i don't know why but i am not going to question it. i am semi selective, 21+ i am slow like palm water but i do get to things. feel free to hit me up if you want to start something. peace. love. mangos.

[untiloblivions]

Portrait of a Lady on Fire + When Did it Happen?, by Mary Oliver

[tim-lucy]

“you treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol and inside wound with drinking alcohol. it’s science.”

[cevansnation-deactivated2021110]

sir what are you so handsome for ?

[gr-ogu]

That was awesome... I feel like Tom Cruise! DYLAN O'BRIEN in LOVE AND MONSTERS (2020)

[grootwrites]

FAYE & ELIJAH:

Faye didn’t really consider herself to be an optimist, but compared to Elijah right now she was like a Raven’s cheerleader at the State Championship. But this wasn’t even cynicism, it felt more like unbridled pain. Faye couldn’t say she’d been through a divorce or experienced the hardships that Atlas had taken on recently, or not so recently, first hand anyway. But she had been there for her every step of the way. And had faced her own adversity in life. “Well, maybe you shouldn’t lead with that one when you see her.” Faye joked. Again, joking wasn’t exactly her modus operandi, though she felt it was needed to lighten the mood a bit. But with his need for shots, Faye had to chuckle at him, “You really are a mess. Maybe you needed to come back to Tree Hill more than you thought. At least it’s a change of pace anyway.” She offered as she poured him another shot. Placing it in front of him Faye laughed at his joke regarding June. “Everyone knows June is still hung up on Grayson but what is she going to do with the love of her life in jail.” Faye couldn’t help but mock the idea of love the two of them had created. They lived in a fairy tale but, well more like a romantic tragedy, which made zero sense to Faye. “Are you okay Elijah? I mean shots are a great way to get through the night but it’s all still there in the morning.”

His sisters divorce with his upcoming parents disappointment was just some of the few things that were irking him the wrong way. Then walking into his best friend engagement with someone that he did not completely trust did not help his mood at all. “Damn, I thought I was a stand up comedian, are you saying that you do not agree with that statement?” At least there was some humor left in him. That was a surprise to him. Wasn’t she right about that, he was a giant walking mess. Some Days it baffled him how he was able to still get up and walk around portraying that he was completely okay and there was no need to check up on him. Not to say that Atlas didn’t, that woman’s entire world was crumbling down and she still had the time to phone him and make sure he wasn’t going to do anything that he wouldn’t be alive to regret. “Trust me if I came to this town more often I would not be alive. Especially when this shit with Atlas and Mason hits the fan and every major annoying family ends up finding and our parents feel like she brought shame onto the family -- because me getting divorce is ok but her -- well call in the pastor.” He teased before picking up the shot and drowning it with one go. As he set it onto the counter he placed his elbow onto the table and bit the top of this thumb, “Do you ever wonder where the years went? Or where the hell you went? Is this where you saw yourself ending? -- fuck what if June and Grayson have it right? And they’re fighting for what they want -- though that is probably not the case -- I don’t know... I don’t know.”

[dailysweetmagnolias]

[ltbelanna]

[grootwrites]

MAISIE & SCOTT:

“Sure, trust you, you and your beer belly?” She teased, “Listen, I’m going to be running marathons at 70 while you’re ass is going to be glued to a couch where you can just binge on all 178 seasons of The Bachelor. We’ll see who should’ve been trusted then!” Maisie let out a light laugh, always enjoying their silly banter as it was pure ridiculousness. “Yeah, well I don’t really keep up. My life is interesting enough I don’t need to spend my time worried about everyone else’s.” She teased, throwing popcorn at the side of his head. “Oh wait–I actually do know this! Theo! He’s hot, in a very broody, gentleman sort of way.” She emphasized her last words with a different accent. Maisie didn’t enquire too much more about the town gossip following that wedding. It was silly and if they were happy that was what should matter most right? “That’s what all of the bachelors do Scott, are you new here? The show is the ultimate opportunity for them to think with their dick. It’s set up so that any girl will say yes, are we supposed to believe they’ll pass up the one they’re most attracted to when the have complete pick of the litter. I mean just look at Colton!” Her finger came up as she shook her head, “No see, Taysha has a chance to actually class this joint up! I can’t wait for Bachelorette for once.”

“Now look at me -- does this look like a beer belly?” He questioned the blonde as he patted his stomach gently, before letting a small break laugh through his stern facial expression that he had managed to keep throughout this very easy going conversation that was being held by the two of them. “But I will know what females and males to avoid -- not to mention I will start a rather successful podcast about this from my sofa and watch me just hire myself some decent chefs to feed me alright food -- how does that sound?” Of course he did more than just watch reality shows, he did have an entire band to be part of. This was just a short hiatus due to a band member deciding that the fame and money was not enough and needing just a hint of help from their good ole’ friend Cocaine but that was not something that was being disclosed, actually everyone thought it was Scott that was suffering a drug crisis. It was amazing what you would let get attached to your name once you stopped giving a shit. “That he is. Look at that. -- Getting married to Tess -- though it should’ve been someone else, but guess we all have grown up, right?” Said the guy that was still holding a light for his high school flame. “Colton is trash. Pete was trash -- at this point I say we give Nick another try -- third time is a charm, right? I think they heard you cause she might be one though no one knows this season coming up is probably going to be the craziest one ever.” 

[grootwrites]

SEAN & LAYLA:

His eyes took in Poppy, a dark glaze falling over them as he processed what the little girl had said. As her tiny hand fell into his, Sean’s other hand closed around it as he held it softly. He prayed to God in that moment that she was not his. That he had not lost any time with his child. Did he realize he was jumping to conclusions? Yes. But he still couldn’t let the idea go until he closed the possibility. Innocent children sure didn’t lie. And she was right. Slowly his eyes fell down to his hands, as if his life was happening in slow motion. Again, the little girl was right. Sean always needed lotion. “Smart girl.” He smiled softly, though it was strained to be sure. The man couldn’t even begin to process the possibility that Poppy could be his. One minute he was meeting Eliza’s family, the next his hands had gone clammy, his body felt as though it was on fire. This was one of those moments where Sean would normally run to the nearest bar. But it wasn’t exactly as thought that sort of thing could work at an engagement party. One he’d never wanted in the first place but marriage, love, it was about a sacrifice right? Sean stood up as the girl had become distracted by something else, leaning back on his heals as he took Layla in. She was just as pretty as he’d remembered her. Sean nodded, never having been a man of many words. His lips curled in on one another because he was afraid of where this conversation might lead. But he only had a moment to process that before he could see that she was panicking suddenly. Sean closed the gap between them without so much as a thought, “I–here–I’ll take you. It’s just right over here.” He allowed her to lean into him should she need to as he guided them to the bathroom. Honestly her panic was a bit of welcome distraction for him to focus on. But he knew once she went into the bathroom, he’d have to grapple with the fact that she’d begun panicking at all.

Poppy was a carbon copy of him but thankfully her sister was too self absorb to even notice and she knew her family wouldn’t catch up on it, they were not the sharpest tools in the shed and there were so many males out in the world that had the same traits as Sean so this could be ok. This could be totally utterly fine. Poppy stayed amused with the man in front of him as she closed the lotion bottle and shoved it back into Layla’s purse as she went ahead and ran back to the crowd of kids that she had come from. It was not as if Layla had done this on purpose, that she had kept Poppy from meeting her father she had tried to locate him when the pregnancy stick turned pink and she knew that she was going to be a mother. Not in hope for a relationship but just so Poppy had a father. After failing at doing that she had come to terms with being a single mother, never in a million years was her sister suppose to fall in love with her baby daddy -- evenmore with the only man that she had ever thought this could be the one. The brunette allowed for the man to direct her to the bathroom, passing the crowds she knew she had to keep it under control at least till they were away from everyone else. One thing was lying to everyone else about the truth but it was something else to deny Poppy the right of knowing who her father was, what kind of mother would she be if she did that? Would this be the thing that made her become just like her family? As she got to the bathroom and Sean closed the door behind them she proceeded with opening the faucet allowing the water to run through her fingers, the cold water reminding her that this was not a dream. Closing it closed she turned to face Sean, hoping that somehow he had vanished and she was just losing her mind versus her life about to take another turn. “How did you um too meet? At a bar?” Just like them? Again that was the Marine bluntness coming out, “I’m just surprised she usually likes a different kind of man.” Maybe if she avoided the whale in the room she could keep everything to herself. In a year she would be stationed somewhere else, so this was plausible. 

[grootwrites]

ANDREA & CAMERON:

Andrea knew that she was being selfish. Of course she was being selfish. When wasn’t she selfish when it came to Cameron. It wasn’t always true though. She did really used to care for him and his well being. And in some fucked up way hadn’t she left him in the first place to keep him out the debris that was sure to be left in the wake of Hurricane Andrea Black. But leaving him behind left him caught up in the storm anyway. She needed to come to terms with the fact that when their lives became as entangled with one another’s as they did, it wasn’t just as simple as getting on a plane and solving all of her problems. Though, if she’d stayed in Ireland and managed not to regret her decision like she’d originally planned in the first place then she might not be here, ready to tear her hair out as she watched him so calmly deal with their parting of ways, moving on with such ease. Her head shook softly, knowing he needed to hear the truth and all of it. She owed him at least that much after all this, even if it would break her heart all over again. “I didn’t choose freedom. And you weren’t suffocating me Cam. The reason I left was because I didn’t think I could be the girl you needed me to be. And look at the mess I’ve created. I never meant to hurt you and I don’t even know if I did that much, Tess and Mason seem to think so, I just–And listen I’m not trying to make myself out to be the victim here or anything I just, you’re a whole person. I’m–a complete mess. And I didn’t want to drag you into it. I didn’t want us to get years down the road and for me to do something to completely blow up the life you care so much about. I mean look at my brother…I couldn’t bare if that happened to us, to you.”

She pushed out a breath knowing she probably sounded like an idiot, never would she be this vulnerable with anyone besides Cameron. And of course it was him standing before her as she spoke these words. Andrea’s lips curled in on one another hearing that it was hard for him too. From where she was standing, it had always been hard to tell. At least since she’d been back anyway, he seemed to have it all together and to have gotten everything he wanted. “Guess it’s just hard for me to tell. But seems like it is getting easier for you anyway so that is good.” Her eyes darted to different parts of the room, unable to face that reality with him on the other side of her gaze. But as he continued, she had to look into his eyes because she wanted to not only hear his words but see them on his face. Her heart fluttered away, knowing that he was even willing to have this conversation with her after what she’d done to him. He would always be the best man she ever knew. Andrea didn’t know how to give him up completely, knowing that the way he cared for her was the safest she’d ever felt. “Is it bad that it feels really good to know that I’m not the only one tearing myself a part over losing us?” She questioned, feeling the softer side of herself start to poke its head out as autopilot with Cameron in her home began to take over. “So I guess, I’m supposed to give the closure you need so you can move on from us then, huh?”

“Did I ever say you were not the woman that I needed you to be? Did I ever make you feel that way?” Question that had no business being out roll out of his mouth so easily and carelessly that he didn’t even realize the danger that he had just presented both of them. Yet he stood there, testing fate -- testing himself as he realized how much he needed the answers to everything. Because as soon as he got those answers then he would be able to move on. Then he would be able to proceed his relationship with his girlfriend and stop having one foot in the present and the other still in the past. It was not fair to either one of them; fuck it was not fair to him either. This entire time he had told himself that she had wanted freedom, more than Tree Hill and now here she stood in front of him and told him that was not the case. His defenses started to show, yet he bit his lip down knowing that they were threading a thin line between the two of them and there was a third party involved here. A party that had taken a risk on him when he himself had told her not to. Because how did anyone ever get over the love of their life? How did anyone do that and live to tell a happy story? “You think I am perfect? Andrea -- I had no idea where I was going in life but I was always positive that we would face whatever together -- don’t -- just don’t compare us to your brother. We didn’t happen because someone peed on a stick and it turned positive. Don’t belittle us to that level.” Cameron had always bitten his tongue when it came to Mason, but hell would have to freeze over if he allowed her or anyone else to say their story was on the same level as Mason and Atlas. 

The man was standing in front of her holding all this love for her and wishing that it would just vanish into thin air, the same way that she had all those years ago. “because you had the privilege of getting on a plane and sparing yourself the ugly sight,” a low blow for sure but they were finally being raw with each other. The pleasantries were gone and if Andrea was sticking around then it was best for everyone involved for everything to be laid onto the floor, was it not? He unlike her kept his gaze on her because he wanted to say so much more. Explain how he had never learned to read her mind and how he till this day did not understand what had managed to get her to get onto that plane and come back? “You were supposed to be gone forever -- and that is not me wishing you would’ve stayed away that was just the plan you forced onto me.” He hadn’t broken up on her, he had agreed to it because what other choice had he been given? Not as if he could tie her down and force her to stay -- and honestly that was not a way he would’ve wanted to have. Was she a bad person? Never. That was a fact. “Not at all. Think you’re finally letting yourself feel the end of us something I had to go through.” Had he healed? No. Had he moved on? Yeah that probably was going to come out to be no but he couldn’t disclose that. “You kind of owe me that, don’t you think? We owe that to each other. Close the chapter and perhaps move from this demise and hope we can build something greater.” If that was even possible. “You should’ve stayed gone.” So there went the graceful exit.

[grootwrites]

ETHAN & CORAL:

Ethan’s head pulled back hearing those words fall from Coral’s lips with such ease. While he was surprised to hear her say the words, the way she said just had this crass Coral way about her that he loved so much. Every single moment he spent with her Ethan was beyond sure that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Coral by his side. And yes, it was complicated given where they were in life. But wasn’t love supposed to trump all of that? He knew he shouldn’t be dwelling on all of this but he just couldn’t help himself. A laugh spilled out of his lips and he covered his mouth to muffle the noise, not wanting Charlie to hear anything. “That would make life a lot easier wouldn’t it.” His laugh morphed into a bright smile directed, eyes trained on her own. “That’s a shame. Have you talked to him about that? Or is he aware of that too? Parenthood is certainly a foreign idea to me and Charlie’s form of parenthood was nothing like my parents so I won’t pretend to know much about any of it.” He added. In Ethan’s eyes, Coral was the closest thing to a real familial relationship that he had. He wasn’t sure she even knew that anymore. And his leaving did little to convey that fact, but it was still true. “Well, I’m sure he will. And anyway, maybe Atlas can help him figure all of that out since he just punched her ex in her honor. That’s one way to get her attention.” Ethan shrugged, nodding softly as he watched her plop on the bed next to him. But he was surprised at the candor that followed. He wasn’t sure they were actually going to express the feelings between them. Sure, Ethan intended to say something eventually. But he was afraid of what would be on the other end of that conversation and he was having far too much fun being in her presence. It was too risky. Though Coral had always been the brave one between the two of them so he supposed he shouldn’t be all that surprised. Ethan looked down at her, “I miss you too, Coral.” Ethan was stern with his words in an attempt to let her know just how genuinely he meant that. The smile of his face began to fall as he continued to listen so intently to every word she spoke. The fear of rejection dissipating with each passing moment as he hadn’t realized how much he actually meant to her at this point in her life. Ethan was purely shocked, his lips locked as he just stared at her, dumbfounded by how she found all of those words so easily. He admired her so much. His head shook a bit from side to side, never feeling more ready in his life to be honest about his own feelings. “You haven’t been a bitch. You couldn’t be one if you tried.” He began. Ethan shifted his position to move beside her, laying down on his back as he looked up at her now. Though, he couldn’t help his eyes from shifting from time to time, facing the fact that he’d been the one to ruin them and hurt her. “I guess I do sometimes. I’m so busy that I’m kind of able to drown a lot of that out–not that I want to drown you out–” He was suddenly reminded of why he didn’t express his feelings very often. “What I mean is, I think about what life could be.” His lips shut as he tried to gather the courage. “I think about you by my side. Every time something happens to me that’s great or that sucks, you’re the first person I want to tell. And it sucks because I know I ruined us. But I also love the life I created. Not all of it, it has its drawbacks, but so does everyone’s in different ways I figure.” He met her eyes now, knowing in this he needed to earn her trust back. “I know I left Coral. And I was an asshole for doing it. I’m a coward too because once I left, I couldn’t face you or what I’d done. Knowing that you were mad or didn’t trust me–I couldn’t take it. So I just threw myself into my career and built this crazy life around myself so I wouldn’t have to ever be alone.” He moved to stare up at the ceiling again, for the first time admitting to himself how lonely he truly was. “And that is my secret. I’m a lonely coward.”

“I think he is become self aware to be honest. Charlie is a hard learner, he has to figure it out himself otherwise he doesn’t believe it -- ah really? I always thought those two would get together back in high school and somehow that ended up failing; for some unknown reason,” The hardest part of being with Ethan was not being with him. For the longest time Coral found herself trying to figure out that tangle logic web that she had managed to come up with on her own. Her father had said that it was her own doing considering the lack of communication she had given Ethan; the logical part of her had no other choice but to agree. Yet when you spoke with the emotional side, you know the one that all of a sudden had the driver's seat it would pull out its thesis on how that was incorrect. A blind man could tell that Coral had emotions for Ethan back then, how she was always staying outside his final room and waiting for him so that they could both walk to the parking lot together. Or how she would linger at her locker after getting everything she needed for just those three or two minutes of conversation whenever Ethan would pass by. Not to mention the plans she would cancel just to wait for a text or a phone call to hang out.  Now that the blonde thought about it she realized how she had truly become the inspiration for every Taylor Swift song in Folklore and before that. Perhaps it was time to consider downloading those dating apps and pushing herself off to the unknown, there could be some logic to the side of Ethan’s world of glam and risks and what not. At least that was what she had been thinking till she started to hear the words come from his mouth. Lonely how was someone like Ethan lonely? That was still something that the blonde was trying to wrap her head around. On the outside it appeared that he had everything that he had wanted and more -- the fame, the ticket out of tree hill and the roles that he wanted. Actors did get to pick their roles, did they not? Turning onto her side, her legs placed upon each other perfectly as she used the exterior of her hand to lay her cheek she looked right across her, to the boy -- no the man now, that she had always admired, that man that she had missed the past couple of years on. “I think we all have the what ifs thoughts -- “ she started off as she trailed off, the top of her thumb pressing against her lips before looking at him, “I think about what if I had said things I kept bottled in but then we would not be here. Do we really hate the present that much to betray it with notions of what ifs?” It was a question outside the conversation of they were having, but that was Coral thinking past the borders that she should be in. Alas though she brought herself back to the conversation at hand and gave a slight shrug, “I made an entire life thinking that you would always be there. It wasn’t fair to you. But now you’re back here and I don’t know how to let you in and accept that the ache of missing you will come back without a doubt. The ache of you gone just recently healed up.” Or so she had thought, maybe it never had but that was more pathetic to admit than what had just come out of her mouth. “I don’t think you’re a coward, I think you just didn’t have the right person to admit these things to. You have always been the first person I think about when I want to share things or when I accomplish things.” It’s because of him that she had not been able to proceed and get married, but not everything had to be disclosed here. Not tonight. 

[grootwrites]

HOLDEN & ISLA:

He smirked at her crassness, though it was completely fair. Holden pulled some whiskey from the top shelf and two glasses. Pouring one for her and one for herself his head cocked to the side, “Well that’s the easy part, at this point your sister is predictable. Running a business, that’s the hard part. Gotta make the right decisions that keep my life afloat. Not like anyone ever taught me the ins and outs of accounting or any of that.” Holden shook his head, “Yeah me too but this place knows just how to suck you right back in.” He’d be lying if there wasn’t a part of him that was waiting for her to darken his door. They’d always had an understanding of each other, one that he didn’t have with anyone else. Isla had found her true love though, so he couldn’t compare to that. Still though, life always seemed to find them back together. “Their lives are just as messy as anyone else’s. Just makes them feel superior to you because their insecurities aren’t on display for everyone to pick apart. Not that I have anything to be insecure about–my life–isn’t all bad. I’m free, even in this town. Everyone’s opinions of me are solid and I couldn’t care less what they are.” Holden held his glass up to Isla before drawing it up to his lips and downing it all in one go.

“Any chance you can help me with some contact with your former friends?” It was as if nothing had ever taken place; the years hadn’t pass and she hadn’t gone and had an affair with a married man only to cry over his dead body and have his wife hate her. That was mostly due to the fact that Holden had no knowledge of the life she had managed to lead in Hawaii. The paradise everyone wanted to escape was now her personal hell forever, funny how that tended to be the pace of life for the raven dark female. Wrapping her hand around her glass of whiskey she didn’t know how much to disclose and how much he actually already knew. That was the thing with Holden, he always somehow knew more about herself than she had ever willingly let out, then again perhaps in her own way she did let more out than she wanted to admit. “Rehab is pretty simple cycle. You either get clean or you just keep going -- guess my sister likes burning more than once.” Where had she gone wrong? She had devoted her entire early years to her mother and sister and somehow she was not able to save either one of them. Was that the real reason she had pushed herself out of this town? Taking a sip she allowed the burn in her throat to distract her from such pensive thought, this was not about her. It was about him. “Free?”  She had to inquire further, mostly due to her reluctant habit of associating this town to a prison -- so there you had it. Home was prison and Hawaii was hell -- she was on a damn roll. “Just here for a month at tops and I’m out. If you were smart you would come along and leave -- this -- you could use a vacation from my sister.” 

[grootwrites]

JUNE & GRAYSON:

Years had past but somehow it felt like lifetimes now that she was seeing him in the flesh. Her eyes trailed all along him, taking in the differences from the boy she once knew to the man that stood before her. A scar here and there maybe, but from what she could tell his heart was still beating. Was it the same heart she thought she knew all those years ago? It felt that way. But who was she to pretend she knew him. College they said. Career they said. Marriage they said. She checked the boxes, followed the steps, fell in line. But after all was said and done, a hollow June was all anyone had ever truly known. It was funny the way people in her life appreciated her for her logical sensibilities. Nothing about that summer had been logical, and nothing had ever made her feel so alive since. But forced to move on, what else was she to do? It was just recently that she’d begun taking back control of her life, leaving behind her six figure job as an attorney, she found herself drawn to Tree Hill’s floral shop and hasn’t looked back since, much to the chagrin of her husband. Life was slower around plants. Her days were now spent thinking about flowers, trees, and the life that sprung up around them without anyone so much as noticing. There was a comfort in that, she’d found. But out of the blue sky had now dropped the one person who’d shaped so much of her life. He looked alright physically. He looked safe. Countless sleepless nights were spent wondering if he was okay. Though he pushed her out of her life against her own will, the love would never be lost. There were nights too, where she resented him for that, a closure she would never ever manage to receive because he stole her choice. But standing before him now, it somehow felt like nothing and everything had changed. She wondered what he’d say. Was it as hard for him to find words as it was for her? June’s mouth opened, the sensation of hearing his voice leaving it’s own sort of mark on her heart now too. But words didn’t readily come out as she looked down briefly, but something in her had her head lifting soon after not wanting to miss a moment. “I’ve been um–good.” One hand moved to cover the ring on her finger as she drew them together in front of her. “I work at the florist in town.” She added in an attempt to create some sort of level of conversation. “I don’t–I don’t really know what to say Grayson.” She shook her head pushing out a breath. Speaking his name to him, allowing her mouth to create the shapes that created his name. It was quite a sensation. “I mean, how are you? Guess that’s a good start.”

It was true what people said, if you distracted yourself enough you could make yourself forget just about anything. That was exactly was what had taken place here. The worst part was the Grayson had wholeheartedly believed that he had actually moved on from June. Perhaps there had not been a new love interest to take her space but he had figured that if he wanted to, he could start to date and get himself one of those family things that everyone in society appears to care about. Then here he was, standing in front of her and he realized how stupid he had been to ever believe one of those previous statements. He should’ve known that this would be an attempt done by the old man, to get them in the same location and get them to start talking. That had been the only thing that he had fought with Grayson the entire time that he had been serving his time in prison. To write to June, explain to her what a terrible mistake he was doing for himself; which to be fair to the old man he was right. Even back then Grayson knew that letting her go -- no rather pushing her away was the worst thing he could do; the one thing that he would never forgive himself but it was something that had to be done. In high school, pre the entire mess he had thought that he could rise up to the level that June deserved, to be a man that could provide her everything and more that she wanted; comfortable means of living that her parents wouldn’t look down at him., Both of them had come up with the plan of going to college together and working on creating a life that both of them could be proud of. How naive he had been, how stupid and reckless had he been to completely discharge his brothers and father from the equation of that. If he hadn’t, perhaps -- maybe just maybe he would have been able to dodge the bullet that ended his entire career and forced his hand to let her go. So yes the man had been right that he was doing the worst imaginable action ever for him -- but for her well he managed to save her. No one could ever make him believe otherwise, here she was alive. Doing well, look at how she was dress and look at how she carried herself -- there was no evidence that she had ever left her comfortable lifestyle. “Makes two of us.” Did he want to know more? What she had managed to accomplish? For sure. What her career was going? Of course -- but those questions would end up opening up others such as was she married? Had she found someone to replace him? them. He moved forward, as if closing the gap between them would be enough to ignore the years that had passed them. “I’m alive. Local firefighter at the next town.” Funny, how he never truly did leave. Not too far at least. “Got myself a Samoyed dog that annoys me -- eat, drink and repeat. Essentially your father was right -- nothing remarkable, you?” There was that novel he had started to write, but what was the damn point. 

[grootwrites]

Atlas felt strange being legally married and going on a first date. Never in a million years would she had imagined herself to be in such a situation. It was not the happening of said events that terrified her; or rather made her inside turn around but rather how comfortable it was. How easy this transition was last night had been the first night that she had been able to take off her rings and not put them back on the next day. Waking up to an empty bed wasn’t new, she wished she could say that but there more nights that she had an empty bed than not throughout her marriage. Perhaps it was due to the fact that Atlas made sure if Mason was around that she would pass out in the library or on the sofa. Never feeling compel to share a bed since the moment she smelt the perfumes of various females throughout town. The reality was that Atlas knew of his adventures and late night rounds with the woman in town, she just didn’t care enough to bring them up. That should had been her first sign to realize she was not in this marriage -- but how could she ruin the white picket fence that her parents and his parents had managed to build for her and Mason, the prison that had been established was a beautiful one. Anyone looking in would not be able to see the thorns and poison that was injected into them; so much that it had left her paralyzed to accept this. 

Then there she was alone one evening, the red headed pour herself -- no actually, she drank from the bottle straight out and in her drunken haze she realized she wanted more -- she deserved better than what she was living. Marriage was not some room mate agreement with a open option available, that was not what she had signed up for. As much regret as she had right now, she knew she would have far more if she kept going down this road. That bottle of Rosé triggered all the following events, how simple, eh? Some would demand a more profound explanation but there was none, in order for that to exist her marriage with Mason would’ve had been more profound which it had not. What managed to push her into nerves was wearing a dress instead of painted jeans and a white shirt, a dangerous item for a painter but one Atlas kept on wearing. The ruffles and the struggle of a bra were all coming back to her as she parked her car and walked up the doorsteps to Charlie’s residence. Rolling her upper lip in she gave herself a quick glance before looking up and rolling her hand into a fist as she laid three soft knocks against the wooden door. @pastawrites​

[midsommars-deactivated20201109]

Call Me By Your Name (2017) Directed by Luca Guadagnino

[grootwrites]

SETH & ELLIE:

Seth looked down at the petite blonde who’d happened to nearly fall right into his arms. And being the closeted romantic that he was he couldn’t help but already be amused at the adorableness of it all. But when he came to realize that it was none other than Ellie Barnes, his silly mind immediately shifted to genuine delight. There was nothing like seeing his old friend Ellie Barnes. “Ellie!” The excitable kid was never too far with Seth, but this was different. “Hi!” Excitement in seeing her was just the tip of the iceberg about what he felt to have her back in his life even if it was only for a fleeting moment. “Wait, what–what was a bad idea? It can’t be that bad if it means running into me right?–Even if it was literally.” Seth chuckled softly, his hands suddenly felt restless as they urged to reach out for her hands but he figured that’d be a bit odd at the moment, so instead they slipped into the pockets of his apron. “You in town for Tess’ wedding?”

Life had not played exactly how the blonde had imagined it to be. It could even be said that her parent's vision had not come true either. So in some poetic form, no one had ended up winning here. The blonde did not have some epic love romance with Liam, her high school sweetheart and she had not managed to bag some rich bag type during her time in New York much to her parent's wishes. Even as she was in the arms of Seth she still couldn’t put one and one together, just like she hadn’t back then. Deep down she had some awareness that she was a pushover due to her people-pleasing downfalls. Never wanting to let anyone down she never allowed herself to sit down and ask herself what she wanted and what she needed. Ellie assumed that others would know the answers and give her the best. Pulling back she was pang with another realization, this was not the same friendship that she had managed to keep close to her heart. Her acts had consequences even if Seth was too kind to enforce them. That much was dropped on Ellie as Tess’s name was dropped into the conversation, “Ah yes. Barnes duty to be there for the Jenners -- just thought she would end up with someone else. Not with -- well with who she did.” Did this mean that Liam was single? Had it been by choice? Had her name even been brought up? Did she even care? “How about you? Going to the feminist wedding?” It was a dig, a rare one by the youngest Barnes but given everything she was allowed, was she not?

[grootwrites]

MAISIE & MASON.

She was honestly kind of enjoying it. If she was going to eat dinner alone at a bar, at least there was something to entertain her. This was why she generally preferred sports bars. There was always some sort of soccer game she could watch at any time of the day. “And what exactly is that supposed mean Mr. Mason Black? Are you saying I am not adventurous? Because I think we both know that is not true. It’s just that sometimes the nicest joint in town is a little..stuffy for me.” She shook her head at him with a nagging smile as she pulled her glass of wine up to her lips as she teased him. It was kind of true though. But there was no mistaking that he had the best food in town and that certainly had its place. “But if you must know, I earned my personal trainer’s license today so I am celebrating with one of your delicious salads.” She shrugged, happy to talk about it with someone as there was no one else around. 

“Not at all. I am saying that you just don’t give these places a chance because of the reputation we have been given. This means you should imagine how many places you have actually passed up that are amazing, all because you decided to listen to a couple of layers.” The entire culture of this generation was something he was still getting used to. Most people didn’t know what good food was even if they were forced fed it. It was all about the avocado toast and chai seeds -- things that he kept on wishing would just go away. Of course, both items were great on their own but they didn’t deserve nor qualify to negate an entire industry such as gourmet restaurants and he was waiting for the day that people actually realized that. Maisie was giving him a distraction that he greatly needed, and he knew that much was lost on the blond. “You did? Congrats on that. You really should try the sirloin but if you want the salad then I can get that done, but with something this big you should probably live it up. Maybe even get yourself a bottle of wine.” He paused  as he thought, his index finger landing against his chin, “What is that new motto people say -- treat yourself.”