x continued here with @groundedcuratoria
Was it possible to numb all of your emotions for the rest of your life? Ever since that horrid day, Cloud had constantly hoped that one day he wouldn’t be able to feel anything in his heart ever again… but it had been three years.
Three years of missing him.
Three years of trying to forget about him.
Three years of almost succeeding only for it to crash back down and make Cloud miss him all over again.
A sad sigh left Cloud’s lips as his fingers delicately ran over the Buster Sword leaning against the wall next to his bed. He had admired the sword for so long when he watched Zack swing it with ease and grace; he never thought that one day it would be his own to hold. If Zack could see him from the Lifestream… would he be proud of Cloud for all the things he accomplished? Or… would he be ashamed that this was the person Cloud turned out to be?
Had he maintained Zack’s honour? Or had he tainted it with his name?
Unfortunately for Cloud, he’d never be able to hear the answer because Zack was… gone.
Cloud’s eyes clenched shut as he put his head in his hands, silently cursing himself for the tightness in his throat. He was pathetic – still crying over someone when years had passed since his death. He should have been doing something more meaningful with his life, not wasting it by mourning over someone who was never coming back.
But… Zack wasn’t just anyone to Cloud.
He had been his sunshine, and this cruel world took him away.
Oh what Cloud would give to just hear his voice again… just one more time.
Despite his light sniffles, Cloud heard the knocking on his door and he couldn’t help but groan quietly. No… He didn’t want to see anyone right now – not when he was like this.
“Hey, Cloud! Wanna come out here and give another country boy a warm welcome?!”
Tearful blue eyes widened as he lifted his head up with a gasp, his heart practically frozen as he heard the voice call out to him. That… That couldn’t have been… right? Surely he had made that up. He had to be hearing things. There was no way that after practically begging for Zack’s voice that he would actually hear it again. He was dead. He was dead. He was dead.
And yet… as if Cloud just wanted to suffer all over again, a part of him begged himself to just get up to make sure no one was actually at the door – to confirm that he was just going crazy. So Cloud slowly wiped his eyes with trembling hands before he forced himself to get up, hesitantly making his way to the door.
But as Cloud opened the door, expecting to have made the whole thing up in his head to cope (well it wouldn’t be the first time), he was pretty sure his heart stopped, because right there in front of his very eyes was…
“Just the guy I wanted to see.”
He… He had to be seeing things. He was crazy; he had to be crazy for any of this to make sense…!
“Y… You…” A broken whisper left Cloud’s lips as he just shook his head, taking a few hesitant steps backwards as he tried to process the sight that stood before him. “This can’t be real… No… Y–… You can’t be real.”
Yeah. Okay. Zack was pretty sure there was gonna be some backlash over this. He knew that walking into this. It wasn’t easy suddenly showing up on someone’s doorstep... but. It had to be done. He owed him that much. But watching as Cloud backed up, shook his head, and denied that he was even standing there was a punch to the gut of guilt Zack didn’t expect. Or... Okay. He expected it. But he didn’t think seeing it would hurt this bad.
“No--!” Zack spoke, taking a step and reaching out for his old friend, but remembering boundaries were a thing that he had to respect; refusing to go further than that as his heart ached to see him... panic, in front of him. “Nononono, shh shh shh--...! I’m real...! I’m here..!
I know it’s hard to believe, but it’s me...! Look at me! I’ve got the scars to prove it! Uh--....” He stammered in the end, struggling to sweat out his own anxiety as he found himself having to quickly come up with a way to fix this... to avoid stressing Cloud out further, while also making him realize that he was really here...
“... Ah--! Ask me something only I would know. I can answer it! Th-.. the mountains? Where I died?? The Turks were there, they helped me, I--!”
Zack sighed, and rubbed the back of his neck as he hissed, and swallowed nervously.
“... I’m just--... I’m really here, Cloud. Trust me. I wouldn’t lie to you...”