sari's 2nd gen hub blog

Sari's blog for all kid related matters. Will reblog logs here and probably do ask memes here too for the sake of making all your lives easier.

[grubhivemind]

ELYSIA: -she doesn't usually leave lauctis, because there usually isn't much need. home keeps her busy, between the "family business" and the never ending entertainment running through her head, her schedule is typically too booked for travel.- 

ELYSIA: -but today she finds herself on skaia, following a string of visions running back and forth, present to future to past to present again with her wandering down the street in search of a particular human. eventually she's going to bump into the right one, but she can't See things so vividly that she won't accidentally inconvenience the wrong people several times. oops.-

JACK: -Nothing can possibly go wrong with a couple of blind people destined to collide. Elysia's hunch is right about Jack being in the vicinity that he is on Skaia. His cane gently taps the ankle of a carapacian lady... guiding her attention to the wallet she just dropped. How lucky and gracious of this young man!-

ELYSIA: -wow, what a nice guy. but she already knew that. it's pretty much why she's here. with the cane clacking giving her a good indication of where he's located, she strategically ambles over and slams shoulders with him. DOOF.- 

ELYSIA: hey! watch where youre go1ng -hehehes internally.-

JACK: -The vision that occurs to him sets with him three seconds before she collides with him. In that small opening of time, he manages to catch her shoulder with one hand before either of them barrel over.- Careful. 

JACK: Sorry. -frowns as the carapacian lady exclaims loudly and with much concern. Are these kids okay?? Jack retracts his hand.-

ELYSIA: -wobbles in place, twitching an ear in the direction of the carapace and offers her a thumbs up.- 

ELYSIA: no cau2e for alarm 

ELYSIA: coll121on2 happen when you cant 2ee 

ELYSIA: 12nt that r1ght? -he's retracting his hand, but she's giving his arm a pat. oh hello, he works out. PAT PAT PAT.-

JACK: -He certainly does work out. It's nice to know these soothsayers can still be spared a few of life's little surprises.- More right than I can tell, madam. -he says carefully.- 

JACK: -brow furrows as if he's missing something. There was this... mess of fuzzy imagery pressing down in the filter of his brain. And it all had to do with this seemingly rando gal patting him on the arm. Jack turns to the carapacian, the tall black shelled lady she is.- 

JACK: Hope you have a decent day. And try to keep the wallet on you, huh? -is now reaching for Elysia's hand... and towing her off. Here they go, walking further down the sidewalk.- 

JACK: ... 

JACK: Who are you.

ELYSIA: -she just plods along with him, seemingly unphased by the man handling.- 

ELYSIA: 1 would have come qu1etly you 6rute 

ELYSIA: my name 12 ely21a 

ELYSIA: -twists her hand so she can instead grab his for a shake. pats his hand up with her other hand. there there.- 1t2 a plea2ure to meet you... jack 12 1t?

JACK: -forces himself to focus on the present, rather than the sense of forboding he got from the haze of faces. Places. His hand feels clammy but stubbornly rigid at the knuckles as she takes it with both of hers.- It's... 

JACK: Not exactly a pleasure. -informs her with a frown in his tone.-

ELYSIA: 1m not 2urpr12ed at all to hear that -releases his hand and just walks side by side with him.- 

ELYSIA: and 1 th1nk you worry too much 

ELYSIA: or you only 2ee th1ng2 from a very l1m1ted per2pect1ve 

ELYSIA: you have to know you arent the only one who 2ee2 th1ng2 r1ght? 

ELYSIA: that2 how 1 know who you are 6y the way 

ELYSIA: before you a2k

JACK: -He's... not entirely sure what to make of all this. Sure Jack will walk with her but it'll be with a lot of apprehension in his step. He stuffs his hands deep in his pockets and tries to stow off the hard race in his chest. The tightness in his throat. There was so much he didn't know.- ...I gathered all of that. 

JACK: What do you want. 

JACK: Besides someone to lecture.

ELYSIA: 1 wanted to meet you mo2tly 

ELYSIA: so 1 could lecture you ye2 

ELYSIA: but al2o 6ecau2e 1 happen to know that our path2 are go1ng to cro22 eventually anyway 

ELYSIA: 1 take 1t that you havent p1cked up on that yet though 

ELYSIA: 12nt that a good th1ng? in your ca2e?

JACK: It is, in theory. -Tell that to the icy grips of panic in his chest.- 

JACK: But maybe you have some insight as to why I would be apprehensive of "too much of a good thing".

ELYSIA: ah yeah 

ELYSIA: you 2eem to be aver2e to anyth1ng good from what 1ve 2een 

ELYSIA: 1 could tell you there2 noth1ng to worry about but 1 cant expect you to bel1eve me 

ELYSIA: 1 do wonder what 1t 12 youre afra1d of exactly 

ELYSIA: am 1 com1ng on too 2trong?

JACK: Don't mind my tone of voice. I'm just finding out I'm even more blindsided in a field that made me blind to begin with. -retorts, not finding very much solace in her words.-

ELYSIA: -don't set her up like this... oh geez... here she goes.- 

ELYSIA: 1 gue22 you wouldnt f1nd much comfort 1n the 6l1nd lead1ng the 6l1nd huh? -EH? EHHH??? she's waiting for a reaction with a stony expression. not that he'd know.-

JACK: If you knew as much as you say you do, then no. -he's just so :unamused:-

ELYSIA: tough crowd 

ELYSIA: 1ll get to the po1nt then 

ELYSIA: 1f youre 1ntere2ted 1n hear1ng more of my lecture2... 

ELYSIA: 1 can help you control the th1ng2 you 2ee 

ELYSIA: and... dont 2ee

JACK: You wouldn't be here if I didn't already agree to it. -REPLIES IRRITABLY. He hates all of this.-

ELYSIA: that2 the 2p1r1t 

ELYSIA: -pats at his arm again.- me22age me 2omet1me 

ELYSIA: my handle 12 maf1o2omo1ra1

JACK: Not foreboding in any kind of way. -He sighs through his nose, decidedly tired of this shit.- So much for taking midnight walks. 

JACK: I think I would do better off at confining myself to my house for the... 

JACK: .... 

JACK: .. 

JACK: . 

JACK: Foreseeable future.

JACK: That's how you execute those, by the way.

ELYSIA: hmm 

ELYSIA: 1 gue22 1t probably land2 6etter when you arent expect1ng 1t 

ELYSIA: 6ut 2ure 

ELYSIA: 2tay at home 

ELYSIA: and get 2ome rest 

ELYSIA: you know a con212tent 2leep 2chedule 12 an 1mportant f1r2t 2tep toward2 regulat1ng mood d12order2

JACK: Huh, yeah. -audibly nods- 

JACK: I'll try that next to the "yoga". 

JACK: You can stop squeezing my bicep now.

ELYSIA: -PAT PAT SQUEEZE and then removes her hand.- well you do 2eem to have the phy21cal f1tne22 th1ng go1ng already 

ELYSIA: that2 good -stops in place.- 

ELYSIA: 6ut may6e try runn1ng a l1ttle le22 -says helpfully before disappearing into the night. she's done here, apparently.-

JACK: Are you telling me to skip leg day? -The shitty thing about being blind is that he can't know if she's still there or not. Well... fuck. He solves that riddle after a full minute of waiting.-

[grubhivemind]

RYAN: -it's been another long day at work, but the walk from the shuttle stop to her apartment feels even longer as the white noise of city life in the background offers little distraction from the worries buzzing around in her head. sometimes drowning it out with music helps, but tonight she isn't really feeling it and simply lets it all happen during her trek.-

JACK: -Ryan seems so out of it she might not even notice the hobo guy sitting at the top of a city mailbox like he's riding a horse. He's not homeless exactly, but he is wearing his trenchcoat and crocs combo. Jack looks like he's kind of... people watching? Impossible. This man is blind. No way to prove his lost whatsoever.-

RYAN: -yeah right, like there's any way she's going to miss THAT. she does have to do a double take as she passes, though.- ... 

RYAN: jack. :thinking: -doesn't really question his being there, just observes it. that's him alright.-

JACK: -was in the middle of guzzling a handful of trail mix.- Hm? -turns his head as if to listen closer.- 

JACK: God? Long time no hear from you, bud. You sound attractive. Love what you're doing with the voice.

RYAN: yep. its me. gorgeous and deserving of worship. :sparkles:

RYAN:  just popping in to ask... whats goin on lil dude? having a nice sit down on that mailbox there? think theres room for a little divine intervention so to speak?

JACK: In the wise words of lyrical poets come and past-- maybe. Just maybe. You'll gonna be the one that saves me. 

JACK: And after all. 

JACK: You're my Wonderwall. 

JACK: -scoots forward and invitingly pats the space behind him.-

RYAN: -snorts and shimmies over to take a seat on the mailbox, sitting back to back with him.- its always refreshing to hear a devout young man reciting hymns. 

RYAN: -kicks her legs as she dangles them off the side, looking all around at the city.- this is an interesting new vantage point.

JACK: Wouldn't know. But I think there's a perfume-slash-soap store upwind. 

JACK: Guess I am enjoying the sights in a way.

RYAN: -she thinks she peeps the soap store. confirmed.- you do look like you have your eye on something.

JACK: I'll try to reel that in a little. -munches some granola.- 

JACK: I'd ask what you're doing out here but... 

JACK: That seems a little inappropriate.

RYAN: uh yeah. -peers over her shoulder at him with a brow raised.- considering i live a few blocks away.

JACK: Hmmmm. 

JACK: I guess that explains a few things.

RYAN: ... jack. 

RYAN: are you lost?

RYAN: and if you answer that with some cryptic witticism im gonna shove you off this mailbox.

JACK: That's asking a lot. -Grunts. But he doesn't really feel like explaining himself so he leaves it that.-

RYAN: -sass is definitely MUCH WORSE so she just looks ahead again, irritated.- 

RYAN: i guess it doesnt matter either way.

JACK: You're probably right about that. You're so... -makes a point of picking through his words as carefully as possible.- 

JACK: Understanding.

RYAN: -feels her cheeks burning suddenly. maybe she's just tired after a long day, but she's feeling more defensive than usual.- are you being sarcastic?

JACK: No. You're not... 

JACK: Doing anything wrong. -brushes his hands of granola. It's free for the birds now.-

RYAN: -shoulders slump as her frustration fizzles out suddenly, but her head still feels hot and a little dizzy.- 

RYAN: ... its hard to tell sometimes.

JACK: It's not your fault. -he could swear under his breath.- But maybe that's the problem. 

JACK: God. 

JACK: I should elaborate. -rubs at his face with a deep sigh.- Neither of us know what the hell we're doing. And it doesn't help when... 

JACK: Neither of us know whether what the other is doing is bad until it's too late. 

JACK: I've just been taking note of that that familiar creeping feeling where... I've been absent. But I don't realize I'm doing it til I'm walking circles in the middle of fucking nowhere and the only reason we're talking right now, is because you came out here by chance. 

JACK: ... 

JACK: Why are you the one looking for me but it's never the other way around? And why... 

JACK: Why are you putting up with that.

RYAN: -the dizziness is making her stomach churn at this point and all she can think to do to settle it is draw in deep breaths. it takes her a second to think, to really think of what the answer might be.- 

RYAN: maybe cuz i think its some way of repenting? i dunno. 

RYAN: you know when i left i... left this giant mess. everyone worrying about me. and burned by me. i just... 

RYAN: i guess i dont blame you for not wanting to be around me because nobody really does. 

RYAN: and i keep hoping i can make up for it if i try to reach out to people. and try to fix it. but you... 

RYAN: ... 

RYAN: if im really not at fault here like youre saying then that theory is gonna get me nowhere fast huh? suppose it already has.

JACK: I just have to ask you. 

JACK: Why it's worth compromising letting people treat you like hell. -fingers grip at the metal below.- 

JACK: I'm not... 

JACK: Helping you be a better person, Ryan. I'm not helping you at all.

JACK: I'm selfish, I'm mean, I'm--- 

JACK: Fucking crazy? And all you ever do is try and try your damndest to make me feel like a real person. 

JACK: When I don't. I really don't. 

JACK: So why do you end up with all the crap?

JACK: Don't you see how wrong it is??

RYAN: -a tight stinging throat adds to the plethora of unpleasant physical manifestations of her awful emotions. why does this have to keep happening this way? it really seems like she falls into the same habits over and over. and it always blows up in her face.- 

RYAN: i dont know??? 

RYAN: i mean is it???? yeah maybe i dont feel like i deserve it but at the same time i have all this evidence stacked against me that says actually ryan in some ways you kinda do deserve to go through hell to get even a sliver of heaven. 

RYAN: it just. it fucking sucks. -pushes at tears that she can't keep back any longer.- 

RYAN: because youre right. i dont know what im doing any more than you do. nothing i do makes any sense to me. nothing ever seems to work out. everyone around me ends up distant and more often than not im the one creating the distance. 

RYAN: the only thing that ever seemed to make any sense to me was how i felt when i was with you but thats-- thats not... 

RYAN: enough. is it?

JACK: N... -faulters a moment, unsure of his answer.- I don't think so. 

JACK: I just... 

JACK: Can't be someone who gets away with this crap. Who can't even pull his shit together enough to make you feel like-- 

JACK: You're supposed to feel when you're together with someone. Like all this struggle and strife is worth it because... 

JACK: At the end of the day, you're a better person when you're with them. But between us... Fuck. 

JACK: It's just not true. -he takes a deep shaking breath, hating himself with every minute.- Ryan... 

JACK: Why'd we get back into this. We really... were not ready for it.

RYAN: -she's trembling too, still slumped slightly against his back and savoring the touch knowing exactly how this going to end. she laughs, an awful aching, watery laugh, before she answers his question, rhetorical as it might be.- 

RYAN: we did it cuz were stupid. 

RYAN: we dont know whats good for us in any other aspect of our lives so-- fuck! -the nervous smiles crack into sobs. but it's still funny, because after everything she's gone through lately, this is the first time she's really let herself hurt, or let herself cry.-

JACK: -He's just... shitty. He feels it happening as they speak. He can't face her or do anything but let her lean against his back. Somewhere in all the heavy, Jack's hand reaches to find hers.-

RYAN: -she grasps back, entwining fingers and holding tight. it feels desperate, but she can't deny that it helps her calm down... after she lets herself cry a little bit longer, anyways. she tilts her head back against his shoulder to look up at the stars.- 

RYAN:  -it used to be that she'd stare at the sky and only want to flee far away from any kind of pain or confusion. but for once, she feels tethered to the earth, and maybe that seems she's finally grounded herself, if only a little. maybe that means progress. it's hard to tell with an aching heart, but with jack holding her hand despite everything, she feels like maybe healing is still possible for her.- 

RYAN: ... -sniffles.- you should go home.

JACK: I will. 

JACK: Just felt like the fresh air was doing me better than sitting in one place. -just keeps holding her hand-

RYAN: okay. cool.

RYAN: ... yeah. 

RYAN: i agree. -well... she's not letting go either.-

[grubhivemind]

-- primadonnaTartuffe [PT] began pestering invincibleDetective [ID] at 23:10 --

PT: ive got a collaaar full of chemistry from your company.

PT: so maybe tonight ill beeeee

PT: the libertiiine.

ID: Oh good. I was wondering when I'd get relaxed enough to piss properly.

ID: Public bathrooms are a menace.

ID: At least I hope this is a public bathroom.

ID: Anyway, my fly is down and I'm trying to concentrate..

PT: oh im happy to provide you with some more soothing text to speech tunes.

PT: because theres always time for second guesses! i dont want to know!

PT: if youre going to be the death of me thats how i want to gooooo!

ID: Microsoft Joe, don't fail me now.

PT: is it working? should i try a different song?

PT: ive got one ready.

ID: I think that did it.

ID: How can I help you?

PT: i was just wondering what you were up to.

PT: and boy did i have my curiosity satisfied before i could even pry.

ID: That sounds about right.

ID: Glad you came away with your curiosity sated.

PT: though the question is still burning on my mind... did he piss in a public bathroom or somewhere else?

PT: i may never know...

PT: unless i hear you got taken in for public indecency and urination.

PT: then ill know.

ID: Hell. It's my dick and I'M never going to know.

PT: the sound of silence playing in the bg.

PT: literally it just came on my autoplay.

ID: "The Sound of Silence" or as I like to call. The title of my sex tape.

PT: you know its a real tragedy that youre wandering around in public saying this shit into your comm and you cant even see the looks people are undoubtedly giving you.

-- invincibleDetective [ID] ceased pestering primadonnaTartuffe [PT] at 23:32 --

-- invincibleDetective [ID] began pestering primadonnaTartuffe [PT] at 23:32 --

ID: Well that happened.

PT: wow!!!!!

ID: Don't look at me. I've said I was inept from the beginning.

ID: People need to stop being so surprised by these developments and incidents.

PT: well ill stop giving you shit when you stop enjoying it so much.

ID: Impossible.

PT: then i guess were at an impasse! B/

ID: I left it in my pants thus far. Not sure what else you would have me do.

PT: i mean if youre asking??? id have you do plenty.

ID: Also not sure if this was the initial intent of the conversation.

ID: I would roll with it but you already insisted I stop enjoying all this public humiliation.

ID: I'll do my best.

PT: if you dont then ill have to reprimand you... and then where would we be???

ID: Back to square one.

PT: back to square one with a hard on before god and everybody.

ID: That goes without question.

ID: Glad we could come to an understanding.

PT: B)

PT: id give you a harder time but im feeling like the opposite of verbally abusive right now.

ID: What's on your mind.

PT: im just winding down for the evening and feeling a little bit affectionate. :P

ID: Not to rain on your whole vibration but

ID: Sigh.

ID: Never mind.

ID: Continue.

PT: pffff.

PT: im only trying to send some good vibrations!!! you know like the song.

PT: any other vibrations that might be happening right now are entirely besides the point. kind of.

ID: Right.

ID: Sorry.

PT: im clearly no beach boy huh?

PT: or maybe i should try a different song.

PT: off the florida keeeys theres a place called kokomo...

ID: Shit.

ID: All of this makes sense once I put the serenades into the context of what we're talking about.

ID: Don't know where you being affectionate and singing suddenly became two different things in my mind.

ID: I blame the hour.

ID: If you couldn't tell before, I'm kind of out of it.

PT: yeah i mean its kind of late... are you still out???

ID: It's not late in some places. But again. Difficult to tell.

PT: do you wander unknowingly into different time zones often?

PT: shit i guess you wouldnt know.

PT: lol.

ID: Life can sometimes stand to be questioned a little less.

ID: I'm sorry I'm not there right now.

PT: if youre just apologizing... dont be.

PT: but if youre remorseful about not being here cuz youd like to be. then you could do something about it.

PT: either way... im good with serenading through text. though i think my voice is a little more pleasant than joes.

ID: Feels like a mix of both. Sorry to say that the first outweighs the second.

ID: I will say your voice is definitely better than Microsoft Joe.

PT: well thats a load of my mind!!! goddamn.

PT: ill leave you to whatever it is youre doing. i gotta get some sleep.

ID: Yeah. Get some rest.

ID: Night, Ryan.

PT: goodnight jackie.

-- primadonnaTartuffe [PT] ceased pestering invincibleDetective [ID] at 01:18 --

[grubhivemind]

JACE: -he's still hanging around the living area even after the fallout. it's not like anything can make him feel worse than he already did, anyway... he's just trying to be slightly productive so he's not completely mooching off his dads, picking up abandoned plates of food and anything else that got left behind by guests.-

LUKE: -he's still kind of skulking around, guiltily because dirk pretty much said begone....but he really doesn't feel like being alone. despite leaving the room because he felt overwhelmed and exhausted.....at first he gets away with just lurking in the hallways, ducking away as people pass by....until it's just him and jace. another brother. one he hasn't really talked to, actually. he debates it for all of ten seconds before approaching him.-

LUKE: hey.

JACE: -it's okay, luke... dirk definitely isn't about to turn away any of his kids, which is why he's still lurking too. he startles a little about luke approaching him. he's a jumpy boy...- 

JACE: Oh! Hi Luke... I didnt know you were still here.

LUKE: -backs off a little, jace being startled also startles him a little.-

LUKE: -but he recovers quickly. smoooooth.-

LUKE: uh. yeah. i'm just as surprised as you are, lol.

LUKE: you cleanin up?

JACE: Yeah... I figured I should make myself useful if Im going to stick around... 

JACE: ... Sorry that probably came off really gloomy. 

JACE: But I guess everyone is in a pretty bad mood now...

LUKE: pff. don't apologize.

LUKE: if you're not gloomy after that shitshow then u either got no soul or you're smarter than all of us combined.

LUKE: u want some assistance?

SIMULA: -hey did you mean me?️- 

JACE: -nods slowly.- Sure... Thank you. 

 JACE: -he goes quiet for a while as he resumes cleaning. it's pretty awkward... he doesn't talk to luke much, so he feels guilty about him having to deal with his weirdness. but like any good strider, jace is suddenly rambling.-

JACE: Im sorry too about-- All the... Discourse. I know its not really a comfortable subject but especially for you and... People werent being very sensitive to that... 

JACE: And... Joel was really freaked out. Because of stuff that happened to me. And then that happened. And I wish I had the opportunity to talk to him again. But he probably doesnt want anything to do with me...

LUKE: -just starts helping him pick up plates and such. they'll both be more  comfortable if he's not just standing there tbh. -

LUKE: i wouldn't worry about that tbh. its not a big deal 4 me to talk about it so much as just....talking to y'all at all. but im trying to get better you know. put in some actual work. idk if its coming across like that or if it just seems like i'm interfering outta left field. -rambles AS WELL-

LUKE: joels a whole dif story. that guy had checked out. i think once ppl start actually having conversations with u and ryan tho...it .might cut past some of the bs. but i don't actually know how many of them care about the truth at this ppoint more than every 1s specific hurt feelings.

LUKE: then again can u rlly blame em.

JACE: -winces and nods.- Yeah... I feel bad for Ryan most of all... She keeps saying no one is talking to her and... 

JACE: It cant feel good knowing people are starting wars in your name and youve got no say in it at all. 

JACE: I just didnt think things could ever escalate like this. Even if everyone is pretty... Theatrical in this family! I guess things have just been very tense??? But I dont know. 

JACE: I can relate to not feeling very involved... I spent a lot of time away from the family growing up, because I couldnt travel much by spaceship... And even now I kinda keep to myself. 

JACE: So... Even if I could talk to Joel and he listens... I dont really know how much I really feel welcome in all of this.

LUKE: u can talk to joel if you want to, my man. maybe it would help him just to have somebody try. but you're not gonna fix all his shit for him. and if you go into it thinking u r ull just get disappointed. guy obvs has deep issues that aren't getting resolved over night.

LUKE: and like....no offense but didn't u just go through all this trauma n shit. maybe u should focus on u.LUKE: and other platitudes.

LUKE: nah but 4 real tho

JACE: -quiets as he thinks about this.- I guess so... 

JACE: Its hard to want to focus on me. I feel... stupid. About everything that happened with me...

LUKE: -Just nods. He gets that feel.-

LUKE: well at least after all this u can't possibly think ur the only one that's stupid.

LUKE: cuz.

LUKE: wow.

JACE: -he tries to smile a little about that.- Well... I guess you kinda have a point there. 

JACE: But um. Rash or not I guess everyone is just hurting in their own ways. -but its hard to see his situation that way. he kinda brought it on himself, he thinks...-

[grubhivemind]

AURYHN: -he comes and goes like this often, keeping under kavi's radar the best he can, but it takes an awful lot of work to avoid his security measures... it would be a more exciting challenge if the circumstances were different. but as it is, he only feels frustrated and guilty whenever he comes home or leaves.- 

AURYHN: -he's trying to slip in quietly with the hopes he can get a little bit of shut eye... yes, even EVER VIGILANT HEROES such as himself need to rest sometimes. he has to concede to that. but just a little rest... he's creeping down the halls towards his sleeping chambers, glancing around, hacking into security feeds if he needs to.....-

KAVI: =Oh he's been on it. Especially with all this fresh as hell family drama he's just eating anything to hyperfocus on. Auryhn gets to his room silently and peacefully. Perhaps with too much ease, all seems quiet. Even his own usual servant bots are things to avoid as he goes. Kavi's been very busy getting intimate with every one of them and their programming.= 

KAVI: =Once he's inside and maybe getting ready to get into bed the door to the room clicks shut. The old behind the door trick. Extra silent sans for a subtle click of the lock for dramatic effect= sup.

AURYHN: -DAMN!! the oldest trick in the book!! just as dramatically, he WHIRLS around to look at his captor. his beautiful, radiant captor.- Kavi! Deerheart! 

AURYHN: I was only readying myself for a little nap...

KAVI: =REMOVES SHIRT= bitchin i'll join 

KAVI: buckle up buttercup =ELBOW DROPS HIM INTO THE SACK=

AURYHN: - :boom: - 

AURYHN: -ragdolls into bed, sproinging off the sheets a little before he settles, stunned and enamored, but mostly fearful of the inevitable interrogation that will follow.-

AURYHN: Ah yes... This is MUCH better -wheeze-

KAVI: =Oh you bet it will, cuddles up to him and pats his wheeze= i know 

KAVI: hey, when was the last time you were in babe? i lost track =no he didn't=

AURYHN: My... I wouldn't say it's been THAT long... -starts getting those zahhak sweats-

KAVI: mmm interesting perspective but i guess going hard for hours on end makes it really hard to keep up with the time 

KAVI: brooding and patrolling, patrolling and brooding. quite the busy guy. 

KAVI: almost like you're not leaving any rest and thinkin time, so some might say =keeps patting. pat pat pat pat stares at him=

AURYHN: -don't... don't LOOK at him like that!!- Nonsense... I fail to see what there is to even think about 

AURYHN: It's all rather str8forward! I keep a vigilant eye out, and no one gets hurt!!!!!!!! 

AURYHN: And see? I'm resting now 

AURYHN: Nothing to worry a8out!

KAVI: mmmmmm false =pats his face now= 

KAVI: i think there's a lot to think about, some shit you're runnin from while also keepin eyes out 

KAVI: you're a great host and all these guests are being left to my devices, don't get me wrong i'm glad you're comin here to rest and eat up 

KAVI: i mean, otherwise i'd have to hunt for my boy

AURYHN: HA HA... Don't 8e ridiculous... 

AURYHN: Naturally, I care a8out the people of Avalon! That has always 8een my top priority 

AURYHN: 8ut this doesn't mean I am so consumed 8y ANY manner of neg8tive emotion over the loss of any ONE individual that my acuity sh001d 8e mist8ken for, say... HYSTERICS AND GRIEF

 AURYHN: I'm fine! There's simply work to 8e done!!!!!!!! HORSENESTLY

KAVI: :/ 

KAVI: =long silence= 

KAVI: babe. not gonna lie 

KAVI: that sounds like exactly what it is.  

KAVI: =sits up= losing someone close to you fuckin sucks it's not something you brush off 

KAVI: i'm no professional but i know work-obsessed avoidance when i see it

AURYHN: -his ears droop slightly, giving him the look of a scolded puppy. but the guilt gives way to frustration again, his brows knitting.- 

AURYHN: We weren't close 

AURYHN: I had herdly spoken to him in sweeps 

AURYHN: There's no reason to wallow... I only-- 

AURYHN: Wish... to prevent such a thing from happening again... -avoids looking at him.-

KAVI: still it's not your fault 

KAVI: you can't be everywhere at once Auryhn, you do a damn good job

AURYHN: -now it's his turn to sit up, but he still refuses to look at him.- I can't, 8ut I have the means to try 

AURYHN: And I have to try! If I don't, there's not telling what might happen! To me, to you-- 

AURYHN: There's danger everywhere 

AURYHN: And fending it off has done me well in surviving this far, hasn't it????????

KAVI: =Frowns and reaches to cup Auryhn's face, turning him so they can have eye contact= something can happen to you too KAVI: don't get me wrong i have total faith in your capabilities and i have such a fucking heart boner for your sweet, heroic spirit and gung-ho attitude but i'm still worried about you baby 

KAVI: you can survive a whole lot of times but it only really takes one misstep... i don't. want that to happen. 

KAVI: we held down the fort, i know you have a job to do but you also have shit to process and you have a rockin body to protect from general harm. :(

AURYHN: -he winces a little as he's forced to look directly at him and those beautiful baby blue eyes. it's difficult, when he knows this his own are filled to the brim with fear. they must be.- 

AURYHN: Kavi... You are far too precious 

AURYHN: As a person... And to me 

AURYHN: I do not wish to concern you with my... shenanigans

KAVI: =Does he like them when they're squinting? Because that's what's going on right now.= shenanigans??? i sincerely hope you're not callin your emotions shenanigans :/

AURYHN: ... 

AURYHN: Ah! No! Just-- -sweats- My... 8ehoovior that results from those emotions

KAVI: then maybe you should talk about some of those emotions and, in the magical process of workin through them and not stuffin em down, we can get you to a place where shenaniganry doesn't occur 

KAVI: i believe in us KAVI: we can do it =hand over his heart. touch the tid= together

AURYHN: -his pusher tightens under kavi's touch. it's difficult to accept, even after all this time, after he first left the mountain for good... that he isn't alone, that self preservation isn't necessarily just about survival.- 

AURYHN: -his own hand curls around kavi's, squeezing it tight against his chest.- Yes... We can 

AURYHN: I... apologize for 8eing difficolt 

AURYHN: I will rest and then I will... attempt to process

KAVI: good... =sincerely honks tid but kisses his cheek softly= 

KAVI: we'll take it slow babe, a trot, neigh, a leisure gait even 

KAVI: but it'll all be fine

AURYHN: ... Don't make fun of me -wheezes, but he's placated by tiddy squeezes and moves to pull kavi into a hug.-

KAVI: but i love you, i gotta =yessssss here comes him getting all cozy in these arms and cuddles. Also pushing Auryhn back down=

AURYHN: -falls back into the sheets, holding him tight and realizing suddenly just how tired he actually is.- 

AURYHN: I love you too -murmurs against his hair with an aching earnesty.-

KAVI: =rubs at his back and sides, lil massage. He just hums in response and lets Auryhn rest. He hasn't been too particularly tired. Nestled in his shoulder and pulls up a soft screen behind him. Doing a little monitoring while hum Aurhyn to sleep=

[grubhivemind]

-- primadonnaTartuffe [PT] began pestering colocoloHerbivorium [CH] at 10:43 --

PT: heyyyy. 

PT: this is the biglog residence correct? 

PT: hey did you know i didnt know your last name was biglog until today?

CH: i dIDN'T kNOW,, bUT nOW wE bOTH dO, 

CH: i'M aLSO nOT,,, aT mY rESIDENCE, bUT iT'S sTILL mE,

CH: hELLO,

PT: your home is where your heart is... which is wherever you go. 

PT: thats a lil nugget of wisdom from me to you.

CH: tHANK yOU, i'M gLAD mY hEART iS wITH me, 

CH: i'D hATE tO, dIE iN tHIS sTORE,,, tHAT'D bE aWKWARD, aND i'M vERY hEAVY sO,,, iT'S bEST

PT: i gotta agree. :wink:

PT: so hey i wanted to thank you again for the drink the other night. 

PT: and then it occurred to me that... :scream: we never really talked much before???

CH: wE dON'T bUT tHAT'S fINE, i dON'T tALK tO mANY pEOPLE, 

CH: dON'T wORRY aBOUT tHE dRINK eITHER, i'VE rEAD aND,, aLSO eXPERIENCED tHAT wARM dRINKS aRE gOOD fOR cOMFORT, CH: sO, tHAT cOMBINED wITH tHE pIE, mUST'VE bEEN, vERY nICE,

PT: comfort? 

PT: did i seem like i needed comforting? :thinking:

CH: pERHAPS, nOT iN tHAT mOMENT, bUT, i mEANT tO fORWARD iT tO yOUR gENERAL,,,,,, 

CH: pERSON? 

CH: wITH,, eVERYTHING, tHAT iS pROCEEDING,

PT: mmhmm! 

PT: you worried about me or something? :kissing_heart:

CH: yES, B<

PT: oh.

PT: ... 

PT: well SHIT.

CH: iNDEED, CH: hOWEVER i dON'T iNTEND tO pRY,,,, oNLY, tO bE cONSCIENSIOUS oF yOUR fEELINGS, wHETHER yOU sHARE tHEM oR nOT,

PT: no offense but like you should probably stay out of it. even if youre just keeping an eye out. 

PT: i mean i appreciate concern of course??? but also why would you.

CH: i'M nOT oFFENDED, iT iSN'T mY bUSINESS, CH: oNLY,,, tHERE iS a lOT gOING oN, 

CH: aND tHINGS, aRE eASILY oVERWHELMING i tHINK,

PT: thats an understatement... :weary:

PT: it gets MORE overwhelming the more people i drag into it though. 

PT: youre really cute khaliq dont do this to yourself!

CH: oH, 

CH: nO,,, i mEAN,

CH: wELL,,, tO bE fAIR, i dON'T tHINK yOU cAN dRAG mE aNYWHERE,,, 

CH: bUT aLSO, i hOPE iT wORKS oUT,, fOR yOU sO iT'S nOT sO oVERWHELMING,

PT: hmm... 

PT: i dunno im just suspicious. like... 

PT: ugh i dunno. sorry man. 

PT: it is just... a lot. and it worries me. 

PT: it kinda gives me the impression that i set fire to everything i touch haha. 

PT: get out the way of these hot hands. :fire: :open_hands: :fire:

CH: nO nEED tO aPOLOGIZE, CH: fIRE iSN'T jUST dESTRUCTION hOWEVER, iT iS, aLSO nUTURING, aND cARING, CH: bUT iT'S aLSO tHE eNVIRONMENT wHERE iT sTEWS tHAT dECIDES wHAT wILL hAPPEN wITH iT, 

CH: nOT eVERYTHING iS cOMBUSTABLE, sOME tHINGS bURN, sOME tHINGS nEED fIRE tO sURVIVE, 

CH: tHERE iS nOT oNE eLEMENT iN pLAY aT aNY tIME wHICH mAKES iT hARD tO cOMB tHROUGH,,

PT: thats 

PT: incredibly poetic. damn. 

PT: and i guess... accurate probably. i feel like ive been given similar advice before. just not as pretty. haha. 

PT: i think i respond better to it this way. :stuck_out_tongue:

CH: iT'S mOSTLY jUST aCCURATE iN tERMS oF lITERAL fIRE, CH: sOME eGGS i hAD tO uSE lITERAL fLAMES fOR iNCUBATION aS tHEY rEQUIRED aN iNCREDIBLY hIGH tEMPERATURE, bUT i'M gLAD yOU pREFER tHEM, tO,,, wHATEVER oTHER wAY,,,

CH: iT wAS dESCRIBED,

PT: nature is poetic and beautiful??? what else can i say. 

PT: but im glad for it too. PT: and im glad about your eggs.

CH: tHANK yOU, 

CH: bUT i dID tHE eASY pART,,, wHICH wAS nOT lAYING tHEM, 

CH: bUT i aGREE, nATURE iS aMAZING B<

PT: ugh! :persevere:

PT: youre such a cute nerd! :heart:

CH: ,,,,,, pLEASE,,,,, 

CH: iN aNY cASE, yOU aRE iNVITED tO cOME,,,, dO, aCTIVITIES? iF yOU lIKE hIKiNG tHERE iS a lOT oF tHAT, 

CH: bUT wE aGREED aBOUT nATURE sO i hAVE mORE oF tHAT,

PT: im always down to do activities. :wink:

CH: yOU'RE eMOJI cAUGHT dUST iN iT'S eYE, CH: iF tHAT'S a sELF-rEFLECTION tHEN i'LL tRY tO nOT jUDGE yOUR oBSERVABLE jOY fROM sUCH oVULAR tRAUMA, B<

PT: ovular trauma is basically the opposite of what im going for??? geez.

CH: i cAN'T sAY i'M cONVINCED oF tHAT,

PT: ovule :clap: should :clap: be :clap: nurtured!  :clap:

CH: i'M sURE iT'S tHE cAREFUL aTTENTION tHAT mAKES iT oDD CH: a "tHING", iF yOU wILL, sOME aNIMALS dO fIND eYES rATHER aTTRACTIVE aND uSE sIMILAR oRGANS iN mATING pROCESSES, CH: i cAN pREPARE a lIST, fOR yOUR,,,,,,, sTUDIES

PT: thatd be great! 

PT: you know. this conversation really went off the rails didnt it?

CH: oH,,,, iT dID, 

CH: wOULD yOU rATHER wE gOT bACK tO tHE aCTIVITIES iN qUESTION?

PT: yes please! :hugging:

PT: what naturefied activities have you got in mind?

CH: mOSTLY fEEDING aNIMALS, 

CH: tHEY cAN bE,, a lITTLE rOUGH,, bUT iT'S, oKAY,, i cAN aCT aS a bARRIER, tHEY'RE rEALLY nICE, bUT yOU'LL bE nEW,,, aND tHEY'LL bE eXCITED,

PT: thats so fucking cute... :sob: im ready for those rowdy animals. 

PT: and khaliq meat shield. :eyes:

CH: yES, i'M gOOD aT tHAT, bUT i'M gLAD yOU hAVE fAITH,,, oR aRE eAGER tO uSE mE aS a sHIELD, 

CH: B<

PT: gimme that big boy beef.

PT: we can make a date of it! ill get back to you about my schedule.

CH: oKAY, CH: i'LL aT lEAST lET yOU bORROW mY bEEF, bUT, yES, lET mE kNOW,, i'M uSUALLY fREE,

PT: then we should have no problems. to be honest im usually free too lol. 

PT: ill catch you later alright? take it easy liq.

-- primadonnaTartuffe [PT] ceased pestering colocoloHerbivorim [CH] --

[grubhivemind]

-- primadonnaTartuffe [PT] began pestering obliteratedEmpath [OE] -- 

PT: tell me where youre at cuz im coming to see you.

OE: oh boy. 

OE: I'm at the skaia resort. penthouse.

PT: alright here i come. 

RYAN: -and there she goes, off to the resort and up to the penthouse. it's a strange feeling... all the emotions swirling around inside her gut that... actually seem to be processing through her mind with amazing clarity. there's just something about climactic moments such as these that are, appropriately, sobering.- 

RYAN: -knocks SOMEWHAT aggressively on the door when she arrives.- bitch lemme iiinnnn.

JINJIN: -It's probably inappropriate to be in the lap of luxury after what has occurred, and yet here Jinjin is. She was still very raw with the entire situation.- 

JINJIN: -Ryan isn't knocking for long before Jinjin opens the door, looking back at her cousin like welp you found me-

RYAN: -she isn't sure what to say now that she's here... so for a second she just stands there looking over at her until she's letting out the uncertainty with an exhale.- 

RYAN: jin... whatd you do that for?

JINJIN: I....-She looks down, around, anywhere but at Ryan before finally settling her gaze on her.- 

JINJIN: I don't know? she hurt you, hurt our friends. I guess she deserves to be hurt too. I didn't mean to actually HIT her, but...

RYAN: -fixes her with a stern look. stern but... very worried.- yeah okay sure. 

RYAN: but thats not like you. 

RYAN: i mean sure everyones capable of going off the deep end but!!! that shit doesnt happen for no reason. 

RYAN: so whats the reason?

JINJIN: she just...so easily fucked it up, fucked you up, fucked everyone up. I'm supposed to just sit by and let that happen? I'm supposed to just let her sit up there and get buddy buddy with joel while she's just laughing about stirring up all this shit for you to clean up? no! fuck that. maybe I can't actually help you with this mess but her I can do something about, I can...did make her hurt, make her maybe feel what everyone else was feeling....

RYAN: -expression softens as she listens to her.- baby... please. 

RYAN: so much of this mess i made on my own... long before nona was ever in the picture. you know? 

RYAN: what she did was fucked up yeah. but... it made everything... more real. it made me realize things i hadnt before... 

RYAN: you always did so much for me. maybe you feel like its never been enough but fuck. you shouldnt have to be proving yourself. you dont have to pick fights standing up for me. 

RYAN: youre enough just being you... and being my family. and my best friend. thats always... made more of a difference then i ever knew how to show.

JINJIN: -She's quiet, listening to her and sniffling a little. She hasn't done anything for anyone. All she'd ever done in her life was shut herself away smoke herself stupid. It was unbelievable that she'd EVER been, or done enough. - 

JINJIN: -She wipes at her face a little.- 

JINJIN: it's okay ry. you don't have to say all that. I mean, I really appreciate it but I don't think I've ever really done much for anybody least of all you. all I ever did was get high and stay in my room to escape my powers, I've never been...there. I don't know. I'm sorry ry.

RYAN: well shit jinjin... i know how it is. 

RYAN: maybe we both have things we gotta answer to cuz of our escapism. i dont wanna deny theres consequences. 

RYAN: it never helped me... i know i shouldve done more for people. even if people dont want me to feel responsible for it... that guilts still there. -tries reaching out to her to pull her into a hug.- 

RYAN: but we love each other. right? you broke a bitchs leg for me... if theres ever i time i felt sore about you being off on your own how the fuck can i possibly feel that way anymore??? thats the dopest shit anyones ever done on my account.

JINJIN: -SNUFFLE, but she's pulled into a hug and DON'T MAKE HER LAUGH 

RYAN. Hugs all this cousin.- 

JINJIN: I guess more of my parents rubbed off on me than I thought. I'm sorry ry...no more broken legs, I promise.

RYAN: -smiles a little up at her.- oh i feel it... 

RYAN: thanks tho i appreciate it. broken legs are more trouble than theyre worth. :weary:

[grubhivemind]

-- primadonnaTartuffe [PT] began pestering plenilunarPalpi [PP] -- 

PT: :fist::boom::door:

PT: knock knock its ya girl.

PP: :couch:

PP: )) come in ((

PT: :dancer:

PT: here i am!

PP: :computer::pray:

PP: )) how can I help you? ((

PT: well i didnt arrive so spectacularly for no reason. 

PT: i have a proposition for you. :wink:

PP: )) you have many pro positions (( 

PP: )) what could it be this time? ((

PT: well as my sick moves i just busted out suggest... 

PT: ive been toying around with this idea for a dance routine?? theres this festival coming up ft a dance competition aaaand i wanna enter. 

PT: but my routine is for not only one saucy lady but... check it... 

PT: :dancers: TWO saucy ladies.

PP: )) and you're proposing I bring the pasta al dente (( 

PP: )) I understand completely ((

PP: )) are you sure I'm up for it? I haven't strained my noodles in a while ((

PT: i guess well find out after a lil warm up. :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

PT: you busy right now? cuz im busy never.

PP: )) I think I haven't seen a customer since the war (( 

PP: )) I'm more than ready to close early ((

PP: )) do you have a discreet location for this illicit rendezvous? ((

PT: actually yes. 

PT: i rented this studio space a couple days ago on skaia. like in a neighborhood that didnt get fucked. so ill just boop you the address and you can mosey your sweet hinder over here.

PP: )) here it comes (( 

PP: :peach: :dash:

PT: :eyes:

---

RYAN: -back on skaia, ryan's passing the time until quinne gets there by tidying up the studio. it was a pretty spontaneous decision to not only rent the place, but use it specifically for the purpose of putting together a dance routine. though now that she's here, alone in a space where she can get creative, she's thinking of all the things she could do here... it's some nice respite after everything else that's been on her mind.-

QUINNE: -Thankfully the travel isn't too far -- having a Skaia-based shop is at least convenient for most social situations, and she's learned how to navigate the town much better since running it. She can't help wondering a little herself what exactly compelled Ryan down this route, though; they hadn't been able to do much in a while, especially considering she hadn't even heard from Ryan in a good sweep until recently. But it's less cause for frustration or hurt feelings than it is for concern, especially given all the developments she's heard about. But then... how does one start talking about things like that?- 

QUINNE: -Before she can finish the thought, she realizes she's found the right room, tapping gently on the door. At the very least, maybe they could dance about it.-

RYAN: -she scurries over to the door when she hears quinne's knock, abandoning the broom she was dancing around with.- RYAN: -swings that door open and poses in the frame.- you FOUND me.

QUINNE: )) in a vulnerable state, no less (( 

QUINNE: )) I'm taking this pose as a desperate cry for help (( 

QUINNE: -reaches for one of Ryan's hands and lifts it above her head. TWIRL, YOU BEAUTIFUL ANGEL.-

RYAN: -ooooo! she spins with a delighted little giggle.-

RYAN: more like a desperate cry for some tlc. :weary:

RYAN: -twists herself inside while still holding quinne's hand, guiding her after.-

QUINNE: -HERE THEY GO...- )) the band or the acronym? (( -daintily pushes herself up en pointe and tiptoes along-

RYAN: umm why not both? :eyes: -pulls out her comm to switch the music she has playing to no scrubs. this is their warm up music now.- 

RYAN: a scrub is a guy that thinks hes fly. hes also known as a bustaaaa. 

RYAN: always talkin about what he wants and just sits on his broke ass. -shimmies.-

QUINNE: )) unless his last name is Bubbles (( 

QUINNE: )) then he tends to put in more work than you would expect (( -nods sagely and extends leggy in the air.-

RYAN: ... 

RYAN: that was one cleansing pun. :sunglasses:

QUINNE: )) that's reassuring, I was worried it would go down the tubes (( 

QUINNE: -casual waltzing-

RYAN: hey!! tubes could use some cleansing too. -not sure what she's getting at there, but she twirls and falls gracefully onto the floor with her legs out for stretches.-

[grubhivemind]

LITTLE: -she's doing some exercises today, actually, like she's SUPPOSED to.  she's been doing a little more walking around on her own, and within the year, she's probably not gonna need a walking stick to get around at all.  That's a... SUPER weird feeling, actually.  Even if she's getting kinda bored with sticking around the house and doing them...- 

LITTLE: CO O O O LT

LITTLE: 4R3 YOU H3R3

COLT: Yeah, I'm here. -boofs from his music room. not that he's making much music at the moment, he's mostly been writing lyrics. or attempting to. the writer's block comes and goes way too easily, so it makes progress one hell of a time.-

LITTLE: -flops backwards on the floor.  SHE FINISHED HER STRETCHES.-

LITTLE: p1ck m3 up plz LITTLE: 4lso 1m supos3d to do som3 l3g l1fts or WH4T3VZ but 1m bor3d w1th s1t1ng h3r3 m4k1ng my dumb br4nch3s mov3 so o o o 

LITTLE: 1 w4n4 w4lk som3wh3r3 1nst34d 

LITTLE: w4n4 com3 >:?

COLT: -ears perk. walk?????? that might help him get those creative juices FLOWING, so he puts his stuff away and lumbers over to her, scooping her up off the floor.- Of course. 

COLT: Where do you wanna go?

LITTLE: HUP 

LITTLE: 1 duno o o 

LITTLE: out som3wh3r3 >:T 

LITTLE: 1 got4 do 4t l34st 4 m1l3 so uh 

LITTLE: m4yb3 w3 c4n go to town 4nd buy som3th1ng 

LITTLE: l1k3 4 p13 or thr3 hundr3d sk1tl3s

LITTLE: ... do you th1nk 4nyon3 3v3r m4d3 sk1tl3 p13

COLT: Hmm. I don't think anybody's been bold enough to even consider it. :P 

COLT: -carries her out the door, but he sets her back down once they're outside and offers his hand instead.-

LITTLE: COW4RDS 

LITTLE: do you w4n4 m4k3 h1story 

LITTLE: -GRABS HIS WHOLE ARM. its hers now.-

COLT: -TRAPPED. as if he minds. he just curls it around hers and starts to mosey.- I'd love to. 

COLT: Assumin' we don't botch it all up... I'm none too certain how to go about bakin' somethin' with skittles in it.

LITTLE: m4yb3 you m4sh 1t up 

LITTLE: w1th 4 mort4r 4nd p1stl3 LITTLE: or 4 mort4r 4nd GUN 

LITTLE: or just dump 1t 4l 1n 4 p13 crust 4nd 34t 1t w1th 4 spon

LITTLE: you got4 b3 1nov4t1v3

COLT: ... 

COLT: That don't sound too terribly appetizin'. But live and learn, I suppose. -it's just fun to cook, anyways. and it's hard to be wasteful when they're both garbage disposals.-

LITTLE: your3 r1ght 

LITTLE: gumy b34rs would work b3t3r 

LITTLE: th3yd m3lt >:O 

LITTLE: your3 so sm4rt

COLT: -snorts about that.- I'm always happy to help, darlin'. -wanders on down the road headed for town.- 

COLT: How are your legs feelin'? -fusses already-

LITTLE: 1 DUNNO  TH3Y SUCK ?

LITTLE: 1 m34n 

LITTLE: 1t 4lw4ys 1s sort4 sor3 4 l1tl3 >:T 

LITTLE: but 1ts g3t1ng b3t3r 4nd th4ts supos3d to h4p3n 

LITTLE: 1tl go 4w4y 3v3ntu4ly

COLT: Well, good... So long as it's gettin' easier. 

COLT: But if you get too tired or somethin' after we've walked a mile... Let me know... -though, she probably would anyway because why pass up an opportunity to be carried? still, he fusses.-

LITTLE: 1l just go l1mp 1n your 4rms

LITTLE: >;o

COLT: Oh, yeah. That'll work just fine. -grins a pointy grin and proceeds on down the road. he isn't really counting how long a mile actually is, but they do make it to the nearest little town from their house after a mile, give or take.- 

COLT: -there's a little locally owned grocery store that colt usually gets their groceries from. the owners are nice... they don't even comment on his ears and tail. when they're inside, he immediately gets distracted by... well, everything. his attention spans seems to have gotten much worse since becoming part dog. not to mention all his heightened senses. he just... :eyes: and sniffs everything.- 

COLT: ... Uhhh. Why don't we pick up some more groceries while we're here? -lil tail wag while grabbing a cart.-

LITTLE: ...h3y funy thought 

 LITTLE: do you r3m3mb3r how much 1 m4d3 fun of your roundy hum4n f4ngs th4t 4r3nt th4t po1nty

LITTLE: 1 gu3s w3 m1ght 4s w3l >:V

COLT: -gives her ANOTHER pointy grin.- Heheh. Can't make fun of me no more... 

COLT: -scoots the cart towards her.- Wanna hitch a ride?

LITTLE: Y3S ? ? ?

LITTLE: -CLAMBERS IN-

LITTLE: -sits.-

COLT: -she fits...- 

COLT: -pushes her along.- Go on and grab anythin' that looks appealin'.

LITTLE: -she's gonna use her stick to push things in as they pass- 

LITTLE: ok4 4 4 4 4 4y 

LITTLE: do3s th3 b4by n3d 4nyth1ng >:?

[grubhivemind]

-- biotechnicZeal [BZ] began trolling estrapadingTrueblue [ET] at 23:01 -- 

BZ: hey dude!! 

BZ: idk if ur in the mood to receive mezzagez but if u are in the mood to talk zhit with me about zileaz then i've got zome thingz to zay. BOY FUCKING HOWDY.

-- estrapadingTrueblue [ET] is offline -- 

ET: Not sure. 

ET: Elaborate.

BZ: ugh he'z juzt getting on my azz about hiz problemz with ruleuz?? like... 

BZ: they haven't rly been talking and u might've zeen him pop up on the feed earlier... and he waz talking to me but not rly zilly azz zo hiz azz got extra zilly and fuckin' came after me. 

BZ: and i'm juzt like bruh. i got nothing to do with ur zhit. 

 BZ: zo i gave him zome zazz and he tried hitting below the belt like what do u know about kizmezitude and i'm juzt... BITCH. don't even ztart.

ET: Sileas aint the best at handling any of his anything. 

ET: Not that I can talk.

BZ: dude fucking can't tho and he'z zuch an ignoramuz about it. like come on, at leazt have ZOME zelf awarenezz lmao...

ET: Mgh.

BZ: mgh!! 

BZ: hey... how are u holding up over there?

ET: Not really.

BZ: B( 

BZ: i know ur probably exhauzted when it comez to talking and i alzo know u probably don't want and/or don't think u zhould be getting any help but az ur obnoxiouz older brother i'm gonna azk if there'z anything i can do for you right now?

ET: No man. 

ET: I dont think there ever been anything anyone could have done for me. 

ET: Im just dealing with it.

BZ: you don't have to deal with it alone... 

BZ: and i don't want you to??

ET: Whatever. 

ET: Its done. 

ET: And Im done. 

ET: Dunno what I thought I was accomplishing except to fuck people over. I just do that. 

ET: Im not even trying.

BZ: i know ur not, dude... 

BZ: you've got a lot going on in your head, that much iz clear... and that'z gotta be difficult and fruztrating. 

BZ: noah fence but u bottle up zo much of it it'z like... no wonder u pop off. 

BZ: yeah zhit waz zaid and people are pizzed but it'z not actually done. u ztill have thingz ur holding in. 

BZ: we're all hyping up the whole family angle but that'z got nothing to do with it imo... we built a bond ourzelvez and that zhit meanz zomething. 

BZ: i'm never gonna judge you, joel.

ET: Sure. Okay. 

ET: Im cured. Its a miracle.

BZ: oh plz. 

BZ: it'z gonna take more than that to deflect me, bruh. 

BZ: i'm not here to try and cure u, i'm here to zupport u. zo can we cut the crap with the whole i'm gonna zhut u out to protect u and protect myzelf cuz it'z not gonna work!! my body and mind are both too zoft and zquizhy, they only abzorb the blowz. >8P

ET: I dont believe you.

BZ: try me!!

ET: Its not happening. 

ET: I dont have the focus for this. I barely even feel like. 

ET: Here.

ET: Anyway this is stupid.

BZ: fine don't try me. 

BZ: but i don't want to leave you alone with urzelf... 

BZ: u don't have to believe me but can u at leazt put up with me being in ur zpace? like if u don't want me to come over or anything can i zend you ztupid videoz and ztuff? that doezn't take much focuz.

ET: I guess. 

ET: Im probably dropping off at some point. Jsyk.

BZ: okay. 

BZ: well i'm alzo gonna keep bugging u. like every day henceforth. jzyk.

ET: You dont need that kind of rejection in your life. Trust me.

BZ: oof ow my zelf ezteemz hurt becuz joel never mezzaged me back... 

BZ: i don't care. >8P

BZ: maybe u think you're doing the right thing keeping me or anyone elze at a diztance but i want u in my life. and there'z nothing u can do about it!!

ET: Okay. 

ET: And when I fuck you over for being someone who gave a shit about me. Im just gonna be sorry you tried.

BZ: it'z pretty much a non-izzue lmao. 

BZ: nobody iz getting in the way of our buzinezz. not only cuz i'm ride or die but alzo cuz i ain't got no time for anybody'z drama. i juzt zhut it down. 

BZ: the zhrug emoji iz me. 

BZ: take zilly azz for example!! he wantz to come after me and make me feel bad about what i got with ruleuz?? fuck no. i'm not gonna lizten to it. and i'm not gonna lizten to anybody who thinkz their izzuez w/ u meanz i have to up and pick zidez.

ET: Sorry thats happening right now.

BZ: what, with zileaz? it'z whatever... 

BZ: i moztly juzt worry about rulez... but i'm pretty zure all thiz iz opening up important convoz between them zo... either they'll work it out or they won't. either way i'm here for my boy.

ET: Yeah.

BZ: hey jw, are u at home on odimizt rn?

ET: No.

BZ: o okay... i waz gonna azk about the weather lol. 

BZ: where are u?

ET: Out. 

ET: Doesnt matter.

BZ: but i wanna azk about the weather!! >80 

BZ: jk i don't give a zhit about weather in mozt other placez... i mean, i kinda do... odimizt'z zudden climate change iz juzt interezting for pretty zpecific reazonz like it'z impact on the ecozyztemz but uhhhhh. duh u know that. 

BZ: now i juzt wanna know cuz i'm nozy.

ET: Its cold.

BZ: u better be bundled... >80

ET: Im getting off the comm now.

BZ: okay... 

BZ: i'm leaving u a bunch of vidz of baby animalz for you to watch when you're back cuz i know u love that zhit. 

BZ: take it ez, alright jojo? and alzo go home.

-- estrapadingTrueblue [ET] ceased pestering biotechnicZeal [BZ] --

-- estrapadingTrueblue [ET] is offline --

[grubhivemind]

CITRIN: -he's been spending a lot of time on skaia, helping out at the main skaianet building and getting their work back in motion. he's really too exhausted to make the trek back to skaianet so he considers crashing with someone... but BEFORE he does that, he needs some foodibles, and it just so happens that there is a FOOD TRUCK in the vicinity of skaianet that he's zooming the fuck in on. could this be the one giving out free food like he heard about??- 

CITRIN: -swooces over.- HEY WHAT'Z UP HI I'M HUNGRY.

SILVAH: -Stops what he's doing and just blinks rapidly as he literally JUST FINISHED cleaning up.  Big breath in. Big breath out.- ...

CITRIN: -:eyes:- 

CITRIN: ... 

CITRIN: ZHIT!! are you clozing?

SILVAH: Technically. But....-He's soft.-

SILVAH: Alright. What'll it be?

SILVAH: -He said he'd serve anyone who's hungry and he hates going back on his word...-

CITRIN: oh if u inzizt. -chinhands.- 

CITRIN: you got tacoz?? zhit i want tacoz.

SILVAH: Hope you like fish. It's all we got left. -Waggles eyebrows a little at that.-

CITRIN: B) 

CITRIN: that'z DEFINITELY acceptable.

SILVAH: -Huh huh huh- Good. Free loaders can't be choosers. -Starts sizzling and chopping casually. Now hes not in any kind of rush.-

SILVAH: Hate to say it, but you missed a bit of a party. What made you late?

CITRIN: bluh. juzt buzinezz... i work at zkaianet u zee and az u might imagine it'z like a mad houze over there.

SILVAH: Mm. -considers it for a moment and nods.- Well, better late than never. You were my target audience.

SILVAH: I'm Silvah, by the way. As seen on the decals and fliers.

CITRIN: zilvah!! good to meet ya. >8) 

CITRIN: i'm citrin. bioengineer and lover of food.

SILVAH: And cutie pie, apparently. -Chuckling. Huh huh huh.-

CITRIN: BRO!! YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME BLUZH!! >8//0

SILVAH: Don't worry. I won't be able to see it.

SILVAH: -Sizzle sizzle chop.-

CITRIN: eheheheh. 

CITRIN: are you from around here?? i've never zeen thiz truck before and i'm the kinda dude who familiarizez himzelf with food truckz...

SILVAH: This baby's a rental, big daddy.

SILVAH: -pats the counter.-

SILVAH: Technically, I rest my head on Skaia, but I own a resturaunt on the space station that orbits us. Spend most of my time there.SILVAH: Probably why you ain't seen me.

CITRIN: oh zhit!! that'z really dope? i'll have to check it out zometime. >80 

CITRIN: i do mozt of my traveling by tranzportalizer theze dayz... AZ PEOPLE DO. but i don't rly go anywhere but here and my place back on lauctiz.

SILVAH: Well it ain't far. We got a transportalizer pad and a shuttle, if you like doin things the slow way for some reason. Huh huh. I prefer the pad.

SILVAH: I hope you realize you're obligated now that I've fed you. We're havin our grand reopenin on Saturday night.

SILVAH: -Passes him his plate of freshly fried fish tacos.-

CITRIN: dude, i'm ZO there. i've got zero planz for zaturday. -takes his tacos and SNARFS.- CITRIN: oh zhit. thiz iz... zo fucking deliciouz... i might cry...

Silvah: Don't cry. Just eat.Silvah: -He's still cooking a bit longer. In a minute he comes out with his own plate to join Citrin-.

[grubhivemind]

-- amaurosisMongrel [AM] began pestering biotechnicZeal [BZ] at 20:10 --

AM: Is h3 still m3ssaging with y[o]u.

BZ: uh YEAH?

AM: Wh3r3 is h3, has h3 t[o]ld y[o]u wh3r3 h3 is.

BZ: no?? we're too buzy ZEXTING lmao.

AM: W3ll fucking ask him wh3r3 h3 is??

AM: Ar3nt y[o]u fr3ak3d [o]ut h3 w[o]nt t3ll us??

BZ: not really. >8/

BZ: cuz for one i haven't really azked!

BZ: and for two, i'm zure he'z got hiz reazonz.

BZ: juzt chill out...

AM: D[o]nt t3ll m3 t[o] chill [o]ut.

AM: D[o]nt t3ll m3 t[o] d[o] anything right n[o]w.

AM: I hav3nt h3ard fr[o]m him in m[o]nths, n[o] r3ply t[o] anything I'v3 s3nt him, and n[o]w h3 dr[o]ps in [o]ut [o]f n[o]wh3r3 and talks t[o] y[o]u but ign[o]r3s m3.

BZ: well, again! i'm zure he'z got hiz reazonz lol.

AM: Lik3 what???

BZ: like maybe ur a lil bitch idk.

BZ: juzt zpit ballin'.

AM: I d[o]nt n33d t[o] h3ar that fr[o]m y[o]u.

AM: What3v3r I'm sur3 y[o]u'r3 t3lling him right n[o]w that w3 ar3 talking and saying all s[o]rts [o]f things ab[o]ut m3.

AM: I b3t y[o]u tw[o] ar3 laughing [o]v3r it t[o]g3th3r.

BZ: I'M TOO BUZY DEZCRIBING THE JUICY GIRTH OF MY DICK TO GIVE UR ZHIT THE TIME OF DAY!!

AM: That is s[o] disgusting.

BZ: what'z dizguzting iz u getting all up in my face az if any of thiz iz my problem.

BZ: like MAYBE you acting like a complete douchebag about everything haz ZOMETHING to do with hiz averzion towardz talking to u.

AM: S[o] y[o]u'r3 saying its MY fault??

BZ: I'M JUZT ZPITBALLIN', MY GUY.

BZ: i can pretend to be cool with your horzezhit mozt of the time for ruleuz' zake but i'm not gonna zit here and be interrogated, dude. i'm ZUPER not in the mood for that.

BZ: if you guyz have a problem i'm not here for u to project ur jealouzy onto.

BZ: it ain't my fault we're good and u guyz aren't.

AM: Th3r3 isnt anything wr[o]ng with us!!!!!!!

BZ: lmao k.

AM: Shut up, what d[o] y[o]u 3v3n kn[o]w ab[o]ut kismisitud3.

BZ: >8/

AM: [O]h s[o]rry did I strik3 a n3rv3.

BZ: that'z zome petty garbage...

BZ: ur RLY being a boner killer rn lol.

AM: I'm f33ling p3tty right n[o]w.

BZ: right now?? what'z ur excuze the rezt of the time??

AM: I'm n[o]t p3tty th3 r3st [o]f th3 tim3.

BZ: ur zo brave, zileaz... living with all theze dizabilitiez... blind with permenant head-in-rectum-zyndrome...

AM: Y[o]u'r3 damn hillari[o]us.

AM: Which if y[o]u c[o]uldnt t3ll I'm b3ing sarcastic.

BZ: zfdkjdzfdfzjkdzf.

BZ: I HAVE NO WORDZ.

BZ: are we done here?

AM: Fin3, w3 ar3.

BZ: cool. later.

BZ: much later.

-- biotechnicZeal [BZ] ceased pestering amaurosisMongrel [AM] at 21:03 --

[battystumutchildren-blog]

Keep reading

[battystumutchildren-blog]

Keep reading

[grubhivemind]

--lagomorphUnion began pestering primadonnaTartuffe-- 

LU: Hey 

LU: Im making rounds doing head counts and trying to see if everyone is okay 

LU: Where are you and are you alive or safe

PT: yeah!!! hey!!! 

PT: im alive im safe im good. :ok_hand:

PT: were on mombasa right now. with jinjin. 

PT: we as in me and jack and june.

LU: Ok thank god

LU: How are they

LU: How are you

PT: theyre um... 

PT: i mean theyre gonna be okay!! but they got hurt pretty bad. 

PT: jacks got a dislocated disk. 

PT: junes got a concussion. 

PT: but theyve got like the BEST doctors on mombasa so theyll be better in no time. promise. 

PT: plus theyve got me so!!! yeah.

LU: Jesus

LU: Im really glad you are all ok

PT: yeah... 

PT: umm. 

PT: whats going on with skaia?

LU: A lot 

LU: From what I can tell 

LU: Im not there right now Im staying with my mom 

LU: Not long after you guys vanished I had three different parents trying to drag me off world

LU: Which I guess Im lucky they did

LU: The main city was attacked

LU: A lot of people are hurt buildings are destroyed

PT: :cold_sweat:

PT: did the fam get out alright??? like nobody we know was hurt right??

LU: I dont know yet 

LU: Im pretty sure all striders lalondes and crockerberts are accounted for

LU: Now that we know where you three are

LU: And Dad did a good job with Dirk and Dave in grabbing all of our family off skaia

LU: Im really worried

LU: I havent heard back from Venras yet 

LU: I mean he is probably just really busy with everything because Skaianet was directly attacked

PT: yeah im sure hes okay! 

PT: maybe ask simula? or maybe even jake if youre REALLY worried.

LU: Thats a good idea 

LU: I mean Im not really really worried 

LU: Hes just a friend Im sure hes fine 

LU: Im not going to jump on anyone yet

PT: right... its probably best for your sanity haha. 

PT: shits just chaotic right now. itll clear up soon. 

PT: well... 

PT: do you know WHAT happened? on skaia?

LU: Specifics no 

LU: Other then people just started going crazy and destroying stuff

LU: Like one big riot

LU: Since when does that happen on skaia

PT: urgh. 

PT: well... that chick who attacked us is responsible i think. 

PT: this... alt version of nevaeh? you know her? 

PT: well regardless its some crazy shit. 

PT: i think she was attacking jack because he had a vision about the riots happening or something... 

PT: and the rest of us got caught up in that noise. 

PT: whatever happened on skaia i guess alt nev is responsible. :/

LU: What

LU: Nevaeh =8?????

LU: I used to work with her a little she could never do something like that

LU: Are you sure you mean Nevaeh =8????

PT: mmmm yep.

PT: theres a lot more to her than meets the eye FIRST OFF.

PT: but second of all i said its an ALT VERSION of her. so like.

PT: TECHNICALLY no she didnt do it lmao.

LU: What the hell does Alt version mean

PT: like!! from another universe. 

PT: you ever seen the movie the one with jet li...

LU: I mean Ive seen one or two with him

LU: Another universe

LU: Why does shit need to get needlessly complicated I feel like we are living one of our brothers stories jeez

PT: its CALLED the one!! im not being vague. geez. 

PT: but yeah i mean... basically. 

PT: guess we couldnt run from that bullshit forever. :upside_down:

LU: Oh

LU: And I guess not

LU: Still would have been nice

PT: well i mean some of us have been dealing with this crazy magic scifi bullshit!!!! 

PT: like jack for example. thats like his LIFE. ugh. 

PT: but also um... 

PT: i dunno ive been having some weird experiences lately myself.

LU: 

 LU: Yeah

LU: What kind

LU: You arent going to go blind next are you

PT: fuck i hope not. 

PT: ive kinda been having premonitions too though. like dreams? but theyre always about me... 

PT: choices i make and stuff. 

PT: and then the other day when all this shit went down... 

PT: i felt like... 

PT: okay this is gonna sound dumb. 

PT: like i stopped time. or time stopped around me. or slowed down. or something. i dunno. 

PT: it mightve just been some crazy adrenaline shit but it felt weird.

LU: Yeah I was going to say are you sure it wasnt like 

LU: The heat of the moment =8?

LU: The dream stuff could all always just be dreams only

LU: Sometimes those happen like you have a dream and then you are pretty sure it comes true later =8?

LU: I one time had a dream that I was going to see a dog in the park when I do my morning run and like two months later Im pretty sure I saw that same dog

PT: i mean sure!!! 

PT: its just... 

PT: hard to explain how it feels when it happens.

LU: Huh

LU: Well

LU: I dont know maybe its something

LU: But I wouldnt worry about it

PT: yeah... i probably shouldnt. 

PT: anyways theres weirder and more important shit going down. 

PT: i wanna come back to skaia and help out or... something!! i dont know. 

PT: but i should stay here till they can let jack and june go.

LU: Thats a good idea 

LU: I will see if I can get out there to see you guys 

LU: I just feel like I should probably check out skaia first

PT: yeah scope that shit out for me.

PT: but be safe!!!

LU: I will be =80

LU: You guys take it easy too

PT: were good no worries. 

PT: give dad a hug for me next time you see him!!!!

LU: I will

LU: Love you

--lagomorphUnion ceased pestering primadonnaTartuffe--

[grubhivemind]

-- primadonnaTartuffe [PT] began pestering invincibleDetective [ID] at 19:56 --

PT: so hey.

PT: uhh.

PT: its been one whacky afternoon.

ID: Whacky afternoon is how you describe an afternoon of harmless pranks.

ID: At least it is from my experience.

PT: yeah alright so its not the most apt way of describing it.

PT: its been a rollercoster of bullfuckery and the ride dont fucking end but im no longer losing my shit so i can maybe try to wrap my head around the situation.

ID: That's a little better.

PT: i dont know what happened after i left but theres no way she didnt bring you up at all. unless someone stopped her??? but...

PT: im just wondering what was said. i cant remember any of the things i wrote considering i was pretty fucking blazed at the time. all the time.

ID: Should I copy it verbatim?

PT: yeesh...

PT: maybe.

PT: probably.

PT: yeah.

ID: @Jack Crocker "i dont know if what i did actually made any difference with jack or if it just kinda expedited the inevitable lol. it just seems like after finn told him what i did things got that much worse. i just wanted to be there for him and try to distract him from everything going on in his head but why the fuck would he want me around knowing the shit i was pulling and there was nothing he could do about it? i cant stop obsessing over everything i couldve done differently even NOW which is extra fucked up. i should be moving on but i cant. if i had my shit together then maybe just being there wouldve been enough. maybe if i had been tougher... who the fuck knows! i just know i wanted things to be chill for us on top of everything else he was going through. lavela always getting on his ass and the visions... i already gave him some shit to think about that he didnt ask for. i didnt wanna be another bully in his life."

PT: yeesh x2...

ID: It was not a pretty thing to display out in public, no.

PT: its some shit.

PT: im sorry. like yeah i didnt post it up there but you dont need that shit out there anymore than i do??? ugh.

PT: can we... talk about it? in whatever ways that might entail. im pretty much fumbling through this.

ID: I'm not so sure I can help.

PT: im not asking for help!!! i just want to know... what you think?

ID: Hm.

ID: That's a toughie.

ID: But I know I'm not surprised.

ID: We already established that there was nothing functional about us being together when we needed it the most.

ID: Whether or not I helped perpetuate that is just a given.

PT: i mean? yeah she didnt really air out anything new with regards to our whole... thing.

PT: but thats... good? isnt it? like at least theres one person im not bottling shit up about.

PT: which im not saying that to pat myself on the ass like congrats on the progress.

PT: i was peeking at some of the stuff joel said later and even tho im still pissed at him hes at least right about a few things. obviously it aint news to you that im the disassociation queen but i dont know??? i just...

PT: wanna clear the air. but i dont want people to just lie down and take whatever it is ive got to say. you know??? im sick of that. i wanna be real.

ID: It's a reasonable thing to want.

ID: But I barely have my own shit together. Hanging by a thread that it is.

ID: I can try to help you but honestly... I also can't guarantee I can manage that much.

ID: Often times, I wonder how it is I made it this far.

PT: dude once again im not asking for your help??? im asking you to just talk to me and theres no fucking quantity of shit gathered that you need to hold a conversation with me that doesnt spiral into some kinda nonsense of what i expect from you.

PT: im just being me??? and i just want you to be you.

PT: you think i know how im still kicking cuz i dont. but i am. and so are you. it just is??? and its... good. it doesnt have to be more complicated than that.

PT: like the point here is if the things nona repeated made you feel some kinda way i want to know cuz it matters to me. like how i feel matters to you? which i know neither of us know how to fucking deal with that but if we just... talked then maybe we could.

ID: Maybe.

PT: this bitch one word replying ass... maybe... smh.

PT: i just think its a better alternative to hanging out in your own head all the time. that shit is exhausting.

PT: i could help with the load you know? i want to.

ID: I know you do.

ID: But stay tuned as Jack Crocker struggles with feeling like an actual person existing in reality.

ID: I'm just giving you a hard time.

PT: why give hard times when you can give hard dickings? ;(

ID: I mean I could.

ID: Doesn't mean it's advisable.

ID: I don't know.

ID: I suck at this significantly.

ID: That's not another innuendo.

ID: It's just true. And I'm sorry.

PT: baby im sorry that youre struggling.

PT: i get it though. again weve established we both suck. but im glad we can at least talk about that lol.

PT: if you need your space to process everything i get it. i mean it. im not disappointed.

ID: Thanks.

ID: Sorry I can't be more responsive or.

ID: Present even.

PT: i mean i miss you. and i like knowing what you think.

PT: but just telling me that articulating that is a struggle is still... telling me how you feel. right? its still us being honest with each other. thats how i see it anyhow.

ID: Thank you... again.

ID: I'm going to go.

ID: Sorry.

PT: its cool.

PT: ill see you.

-- invincibleDetective [ID] ceased pestering primadonnaTartuffe [PT] at 21:47 --

[grubhivemind]

-- plenilunarPalpi [PP] began pestering primadonnaTartuffe [PT] at 18:13 --

PP: ☽ hey ☾

PT: yooo.

PT: guess youre here to check in on me too.

PP: ☽ if you want me to ☾

PT: i mean!!!! sure.

PT: i dont really know what to say to anybody right now.

PT: it feels like the same shit on repeat.

PP: ☽ the conversations or what's happening ☾

PT: both??? everything!!! ugh.

PP: ☽ well ☾

PP: ☽ maybe I can ask a different question ☾

PP: ☽ why do you think this is happening? ☾

PT: because

PT: because something went seriously wrong.

PT: and i didnt know how to deal with it.

PT: i never do.

PT: but it feels like...

PT: nobody else wants to either.

PT: everyones like ryan you didnt deserve that!!! and its like... yeah okay maybe i agree with that but you know it happened for a reason.

PT: me and her never dealt with our shit and... i just wanted to put it behind me. and i thought she did too.

PT: i dont know why she came back.

PT: i honestly didnt think i mattered that much?

PT: and now...

PT: all these issues i had with everyone is out in the open. and instead of addressing it everyone just wants to white knight that shit and im so sick and tired of it.

PT: it doesnt make me feel like a better person. it doesnt make me feel like i deserve help.

PT: it makes me feel like everyones too afraid of me to deal with how i made them feel.

PP: ☽ how do you think you made them feel? ☾

PT: put out. abandoned. overwhelmed. just... hurt.

PP: ☽ have you talked to anyone about it? ☾

PT: i mean... kind of?

PT: ive talked to jack about it a little. and sage.

PT: my whole... falling off the wagon kinda necessitated that.

PT: i try talking to russet about this shit but i dont feel like i ever get through.

PT: its like i cant express myself right or something i dont know.

PP: ☽ what are you afraid of? ☾

PT: i

PT: im not sure honestly...

PT: yeah like shit you right i am afraid.

PT: but i dont know where it comes from.

PP: ☽ I have a feeling ☾

PP: ☽ it's easier not to do something wrong if you don't keep trying to do it ☾

PP: ☽ or so the thought goes ☾

PP: ☽ you care about them ☾

PP: ☽ you don't want to make things worse for them by trying to make things better for yourself ☾

PT: ...

PT: damn troo.

PP: ☽ but the thing is ☾

PP: ☽ they wouldn't be hurt or concerned if they didn't love you ☾

PP: ☽ some people are the kinds of people that manipulate you with things like that ☾

PP: ☽ but I don't think that's true with most of them ☾

PP: ☽ you've made mistakes that weren't for the sake of progress before and they still loved you ☾

PT: sighs???

PT: how come nobody else puts it like that.

PP: ☽ because people have a hard time seeing past their thoughts, I think ☾

PP: ☽ I don't know if I put it the right way, either ☾

PP: ☽ but I think you have little to lose in being vulnerable with people that really love you ☾

PP: ☽ ... and it's easier when you're not talking about yourself ☾

PT: yeah...

PT: you can be vulnerable with me baby. ;)

PP: ☽ I take off my robes and wizard hat ☾

PT: oh baby... i got my wand at the ready.

PP: ☽ just say the magic words ☾

PP: ☽ it's "open sesame" ☾

PT: OPEN SAYS ME.

PT: LEMME AT THAT GUSSY. (goth pussy.)

PP: ☽ my gussy!?!?!??! ☾

PT: you heard me.