RV LIVING

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when i was little i had a little friend whose older brother also had hockey practice at the rink which had many unlocked large storage rooms and hallways to play pretend in together his family went to hawaii once and he got me a hawaii keychain as a souvenir… which i found very exciting as a concept that someone could go somewhere exciting and think of you there and then youd get a prize so i always try to bring souvenirs for others i got everybody at work magnets or keychains from san diego and then nay went to memphis last week and brought me back a steam engine keychain and most exciting a stax museum of american soul music bumper sticker with an el dorado on it. its on the fridge now

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my older coworker was asking if id seen my park boyfriends lately only the one who gives me progress updates on his return to jamaica but tells me not to close my book. not hadji? no not hadji lately but hes a reservist sometimes he gets called up. wasnt he real messed up? yes i guess i didnt tell her the whole story at the time i love to think of it. a little scene im in my usual end of the park theres a gaggle of parkmen at the far end. long walk to reach me. im reading my book but in my peripheral i see drunk muhammad walking up. “he wants to see you” he says. already im thinking what is this godfather ass messenger shit going on. this is what im telling my coworker. she said and you went with him?! oh yeah i went with him. of course i went with him. i had to find out why this was happening. so muhammad and i walked back and there hadji was, on the ground, surrounded by a circle of eight dudes, and packed in around him were several huge shopping bags full of unmarked clear bags of bread, and hadji at the center with a fucked up leg sticking out and his eyes swollen shut. he said one of the guys beat him up but later i found out he fell down some concrete stairs cause he got too drunk

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near EOD i looked down enough to see a lil cute lil mouse looking up at me from my underdesk recycling bin okay you should leave this place but idk how to throw you out. like dead or alive. ill kill a mouse or save a mouse i like a mouse but its like if mosquitoes were really really cute it shouldnt be alive near people i would rather release it but the optics of dumping a live mouse out of a recycling bin right out front of my job well i dont imagine customers or people walking by are gonna be like oh thats normal. and its fine that theres mice in there. so anyways i secured the mouse, by putting an identical recycling bin inside mine so it couldnt jump out, and then told nay that i had a mouse what should i do to the mouse. she was freaked out that there was a mouse. everybody else was freaked out there was a mouse. its only a cute little mouse not even on the loose but they were being little ladies about it for sure. tell the security guard she said. he said you can leave it right there for the night cleaners, right in the lobby near the doors. but that seemed weird and mean, hey check it out the day shift have gifted you a live mouse to solve, and like my recycling bin would be full of mouse shit tomorrow. so i asked our boss’s boss what should i do with my bucket of mouse and she said dump it outside. okay cool ill be back. but im gonna walk it to the nearest alley so its not like we’re chucking live mice right out the door. because thats not good optics. but we had three callouts it was just me and my oldest coworker who said to our leads at least you got the best two. i was like yeah not even tooting our horns we are just factually really good at this. churning through lines. i said after she said we were the best two, and no voids today cause you got the best two! and she said actually i have a void right now oh my bad no more after that though

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Walter Schnackenberg

The Embrace, 1949

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our boss was out yesterday so everybody was talking about sex not me i was taking advantage of surveillancelessness to do origami but my oldest coworker was talking about her partner of twenty plus years who she just broke up with using a big ass letter opener as visual aid. that long? wow and only that big around as well? she said no just comparable length. she told us men never forget her shes always the one that got away she said she had a boyfriend in middle school she told him to choose between her or the streets he chose the streets… thirty years later he’s still messaging her saying hes through with the streets well its too late now. my coworker from queens started telling me i cant go for a girl thats— and cut herself off wide eyes covering her mouth said oh my god i forgot. LOL i know what you were about to say you forgot im white? yeah i was gonna say raw i forgot youre white im so sorry. no thats okay…lol

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had to max out my credit cards to pay the $2300 bge bill nobody has paid me back for comcast in three months and longer for two of em and i have to front den’s rent for this month so ill have zero dollars total until somebody pays me back and of course nobody cleans or fixes anything the shower needed recaulking of course that was me the toilet was running and its water shutoff doesnt shut it off so i got a repair kit and will have to do a whole house shutoff to install it and of course any clog i snake and when they slam the doorknob loose it is me who fixes that and lightbulbs replaced smoke detector batteries and so on well somebody jammed up the kitchen garbage disposal so its not draining nor chopping up the blockage but den’s new bf fixed it while i was sleeping last night. he told me a couple days ago that elliot stole his takeout last week i said oh shit well he definitely didnt mean to if he stole your food its cause he thought it was mine sorry. and he was like he thinks its okay to steal from you? buddy everybody in this house does LOL he was disturbed by that well move in. get in here buddy if youre gonna respect me and pull your weight im gonna need you to be living in the house

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man my coworker’s husband died suddenly shortly after my dad’s gf on friday i didnt mention that we came in yesterday after she was out most of last week which started because she was feeling sick she came back in thursday and had to leave cause her husband was doing bad and then he passed the next day. and then she came to work today. our boss sent out an email about what happened and i was texting her yesterday she said she hoped to see me tomorrow. wdym. i told everybody else cause they were asking me about how she was doing that she planned to come in today they were like wdym. but i did that when my best friend died and had to leave work like immediately i told her there is literally nobody who needs you at work enough for you to spend a minute longer here than you want to be and nobody who would hold it against you if you left early. so leave early the second you want to and she did. i think i will see if this weekend she would like me to come over and help her make checklists and organize documents and make calls for all the insurance and credit and mortgage etc bullshit she has to deal with now

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all last week and today too its been particularly bad with the white hypnosis… white custos have a much higher rate of white hypnosis than black custos but all races are susceptible we decided thats what it is. ill be the only person with a customer and my coworkers will be trying to call up the next person in line but theyre zoned out staring at me like this 👁️👄👁️ and i have to say to my customer, excuse me for this, and SHES CALLING YOU ON YOUR LEFT!!! because theyre only staring at me. last week my coworker from queens asked everybody their transaction totals i had 175% of everybody else’s, because of the white hypnosis. the staring creeps me the fuck out. not every customer does it but the ones that do are like, drooling staring. my coworkers will say i can take you over here while i have a customer and if my customer walks away in the next second theyll walk up on me while im turned away visibly finishing up, not having called them, and if thats the case im just like whatever you can stay there ill be with you shortly okay. but ill have a long transaction and the customers in line will ignore the others calling them. walk up on me when im closed. my older coworker was telling me while we were griping about the creepy racist staring that she had a customer today a black man who came in once before i was hired, so over a year ago, who asked her how come there werent any white people working here. and he came back today and went to her again and said oh my god you got one! like in a yay! tone. lol. and a dude wearing a coral shirt i guess interacted with a man who works there once and was bitching about him, said miss me with that gay shit, but the guy he was talking about isnt gay im 99% sure. but this guy definitely had gay vibes, and a coral shirt on. i didnt say the only gay thing is your attraction to him. never met anybody giving off such strong closeted vibes it was crazy

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the dog thats in the house shitted all over the place shitted so you cant close the door to the upstairs bathroom so i had to shower with the door open shitted on the bathmat as well and all down the hallway carpet not my chair not my problem. den’s bf’s brother’s dog oh yeah did i say their romcom bullshit they did ev and den met a couple and befriended them and then they broke up after like five years so the one could date evelyn and then the other one started dating den instead. okay

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surprise dog in the house this morning

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man my dads girlfriend died of total organ failure from her alcoholism last thing she said to me was erin i hate my life well yeah kris i figured that out already i said. and then we were busy as fuck at work… insanely busy i didnt finish all my work but i did 80 transactions more than my previous record i was killing it… and yet customers were insane rude to me for no reason all day my coworkers were like ??? what is happening at your window? idk but i had a whole bunch more customers who were like 😐🙄 to start and i brought em around to calling me darling by the end or telling me im wonderful so helpful. i was closed with my closed sign up, technically on lunch but came back early to do work i wasnt gonna be able to finish with how many customers were coming in and a customer marched up to my window said CAN YOU CALL ME UP NOW THAT YOURE READY FOR ME no ma’am what gave you the idea i was ready for you… im not ready for you or i wouldnt leave you waiting i promise. yesterday i was closed and people kept pushing their forms past my closed sign a lady behind one of them in line shouted at the lady IT SAYS CLOSED! i said to the crazy person yes and unfortunately it’s not decorative i really am closed…somebody will be with you shortly just listen for them calling you up okay? thank you! and made eye contact with the literate customer who helped who was shaking her head like, some people. for real. oh i wrote for real and then remembered i saw the tag FORREAL today. and i saw the tag TETANUS on a rust bucket as well

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