Masjid Gudgirl666

[gudgirl666]

Questions for my narcissistic mother

Maybe you love me, but do you like me?

Do you wish I become a good person?

Or do you wish I become rich and successful?

Are you interested in me?

Do you want to connect with me?

[gudgirl666]

Postcard from Bosnia

Loving a narcissistic parent feels like being forgotten by someone you can never forget.

I had this memory of Mom sending me a postcard. She’d been on a holiday, thought of me, remembered my love for postcards, gotten herself one and a 1-euro stamp, and posted it just for me. It’s just… I can’t tell if this happened or if I dreamed about it.

After all, I never felt like she approved my postcard collecting hobby - one time she hid the postcard addressed to me.

But today, I found the postcard. It says, 

“Hello, 

From Prijedor, Bosnia. 

Happy always and Sucess for future, 

Love from Mummy. 

16. Dec. 2017.” 

It was written a day before my 19th birthday, it wasn’t a dream.

[gudgirl666]

Gambling, love, and hope.

When I was 21, I went to the first casino I’ve ever been to and was shocked at what I saw - busloads of retirees fixated on the slot machines, like a child hooked on an iPad game.

“Don’t they realize they stand no chance of winning?”, I came back horrified to my therapist, Sandy.

Sandy said, “Aren’t you a bit like the gamblers? You gamble away your energy hoping that one day your mom change, and she never did.”

It’s true, Sandy and I had then spent the past year working through the anger I had for my mother. I wished Mom to be more empathetic, affectionate, and not scream at me whenever she finds a half-smoked joint I hid somewhere in the kitchen cabinet; I wanted her to change. Of course, every week I would come back to Sandy disappointed that Mom is still loud and angry.

To heal my inner child is to grieve for the childhood I never had. That night, I mourned for the mother I wished I had, I mourned for the apologies I thought I needed from her to move on, and I slept with the headache that I got from crying too much. 

Which do I want more - to be loved by her, or to love her? I don’t know and it’s okay.

[its-lilangel-deactivated2024083]

[nevver]

Forever ★ @itsPeteski on instagram

[gudgirl666]

Tempeh Burrito Filling

Following my 𝓳𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓷𝓮𝔂 to cut down on meat, I’ve experimented with soft tofu, hard tofu... and tempeh at last. I wish I’ve picked up tempeh sooner - it’s SO easy to prepare and so healthy!!!!

Preparation:

Soft tofu = Too fragile and taste bad when fell apart, won’t stop jiggling. Pig-food like texture 😫

Hard tofu = Spoils fast, time-consuming to squeeze water out. Occasionally smells like socks 😳

Tempeh = Can just throw in bag, easy to cut up. Dry = not gross. Not smelly. Nice texture 👅 

Price:

Soft tofu = Rm1/ 300g

Hard tofu = RM0.5 for 1 piece

Tempeh = RM1/ pack

This recipe has strong flavour with herbs, and use no salt and little oil - this is a very healthy recipe. You’ll need

2 pack tempeh (RM2)

2 tbsp tomato puree

1.5 tsp chili powder

1/2 tsp smoked paprika

1/2 tsp cumin

1/4 tsp oregano 

1/4 tsp garlic powder

water, oil, pepper

Cost = RM3. Makes 4 side-servings. Good with rice, burrito bowl, wrap filling, enchiladas, or as a pasta side.

(Optional) Saute chopped red/ yellow onions.

Deglaze with 1 cup water, add diced tempeh, oil, tomato puree, chili powder, paprika, cumin, oregano, garlic powder, pepper. Mix.

Bring to simmer, stir every few minutes until the sauce reduces to paste-like and coats every tempeh.

I make a big bowl of this to freeze and take out some as a side whenever needed. Modified from Budget Bytes to be a less spicy and more tomato-ey!!

[gudgirl666]

Pasta Puttanesca

this tomato-based sauce is my new favorite. all you need is a jar each of capers, olives, and anchovies on top of the usual ingredients. a few teaspoons of each made BIG flavours - no more plain disgusting shit Prego pasta... It’s also good on eggs, sausages, etc.

This portion makes a big pot and feeds more than 12 people...

5 anchovy fillets (RM3)

1/4 cup capers (RM4)

1/2 cup pitted black olives (RM3)

1kg fresh tomatoes (RM4)

1 can tomato puree (RM4)

2 packs 500g pasta (RM7)

extra-virgin olive oil, pepper

5 cloves garlic, red pepper flakes

Parmesan, parsley

Total = RM25 (~RM2 per serving)

Combine olive oil, chopped garlic, and red pepper flakes. Cook until garlic is lightly golden.

Add chopped capers and olives, stir.

Add chopped tomatoes and cook until it has reduced. Then add tomato puree, combine.

Serve with parsley, pepper, and Parmesan. No salt needed.

Or you can make a big batch, freeze, and warm up when needed. Recipe is based on Serious Eat’s version and modified to reduce capers (many other recipes ask for more olives, less capers. i find too much capers overpowering), and to include fresh tomatoes.

[queenpalms]

[jazbaaati]

Maggie Nelson, Bluets.

[shesnake]

Lucy Liu & Keanu Reeves at the Warner Brothers/InStyle Magazine Post Golden Globe Party, Beverly Hilton Hotel, Los Angeles, Sunday, January 21, 2001.

[hydeordie]

Clean House to Survive? Museums Confront Their Crowded Basements

With storage spaces filled with works that may never be shown, some museums are rethinking the way they collect art, and at least one is ranking what it owns.

[gumuhit]

unaligned (2016)

[zerostatereflex]

Mold Timelapse,

Everything is alive and everything will eat you. :D

[mesogeios]

For even now, decades after I first adopted it, English does not pierce my heart the same way that my mother tongue does. The word ‘division’ weighs less than ‘bundan’, and ‘war’ is easier to say than 'junjeng’.

Suki Kim, Without You, There is no Us (via mesogeios)

[topcat77]

Keith Haring 

[lesbianartandartists]

Seray Ak, Against, 2001

“Shortly after the opening of the 2012 exhibition Aykiri (Contrary) at the Izmir Art Center at Kültürpark in Turkey, officials from the Izmir Metropolitan Municipality removed these three photographs. The artists boldly started a conversation on the politics of public exhibition of works of art in Izmir while vigorous debates about women’s obligation/right to wear head scarves –or not – and the future of the LGBTQ rights movement were underway. The censorship of these photographs occurred one day after a national news agency reported that the works contradicted religious and social values, followed by two national newspapers that published similar stories with one article saying “a photography exhibition that insults religious values has alarmed the country.” In response the Izmir Photography Art Association (IFOD), chaired by Beynan Özdemir, demonstrated its disapproval of the censorship by removing every work from the show thus shutting down the exhibition.”

source

[luthienne]

I have done nothing all summer but wait for myself to be myself again —

Georgia O’Keeffe, in a letter to Russel Vernon Hunter, from Georgia O’Keeffe: Art and Letters (via luthienne)