Not Really Here

Stressed, depressed, and very gay - Imma just post short stories or anything that comes to mind really

[guess-im-freefalling]

The Sound of Silence

***SUICIDE WARNING***

Taliah wanted to scream but she could not, she had never spoken a single word in her whole life. 25 miserable years of no one being able to fully understand her. All the bullying and abuse, it truly is disgusting how many people will hurt someone if they know they can get away with it. Depressed and riddled with anxiety, tears dripped down her cheeks unable to express her emotions in any other way. Taliah was done with shit, done with this stupid world, done with its horrible people and done with life. Not all men are born equal and whoever tells you otherwise is truly foolish. Not quite sure where she was going, Taliah aimlessly wandered the streets that had been home to her last 25 years of hell. The world was quiet and the streets were blanketed in the silence of a winter’s night as all noises in her head died down to a distant buzz. Her wandering spat her out on a bridge not too far from her house. Leaning over the railing, she cast her eyes down to the dark rippling water that seemed to swallow all light from the nearby lamppost. The bridge was incredibly high to allow boats to pass underneath and a fall from this height would no doubt kill her or at least knock her out long enough to drown. Hands shaking, Taliah gingerly made her way over the railing and turned around to take one last look at the hellhole she had called home. Taking a deep breath and allowing her heart to calm, she stretched her hands into the cold darkness and slowly tipped backwards. Falling quickly towards the rushing water, she opened her eyes, took in the clear starry sky and smiled. Fuck you world.

[guess-im-freefalling]

Maybe we’re all crazy

You barely have the chance to object as he grabs you roughly by the arm and drags you down the stainless steel hallway that was to be your home for the rest of your life. You're kicking and screaming, using every bit of energy you have left to escape his grasp but nothing seems to work, it's like he doesn’t even know you're there.

"Let me go!" you scream, attempting to pull your arm away.

He says nothing and marches on, his footsteps clanging off the metal walls as you near the end of the hallway. You have started crying, barely talking between the loud, choking sobs that escaped from your mouth. The man reaches the door with you still in his grasp and pushes it open. He looks down at you with a horrifying smirk before shoving you inside and slamming it close. Your face appears at the small frosted window, mouth open a silent scream matching the terrified expression on your tear stained face.

I sigh and move away from the bars of my door, sitting back down on the floor and leaning back against the cold metal wall as I close my eyes. Another day, another person who is labeled insane for seeing the world the way it really is.

[guess-im-freefalling]

Death Doesn’t Discriminate

You may have heard the saying death doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints. It may take the angel, but leave the devil roaming. However, it is a funny thing really, death. For some, it is a looming deadline, the day when they cease to exist. For others, it is a sweet release, an eternal escape, the moment they can finally be at peace. Because if life is a gift, why are some so desperate and willing to give it away? Yes, death doesn’t discriminate, but fate does. They say it is all up to fate or fate decides it all, but fate will lift up some and let them bathe in the glory of the sun whilst it buries others 6ft down and beats them until they break. Yet those who have had the pleasure of bathing in the sun’s rays will look down and say, “It’ll get better” or “hang in there” or even “just be patient” without any idea what it’s like to look ahead and see no light at the end of the tunnel. Because those above are grasping onto the gift of life whilst 6ft down they are desperately pushing it away, hands cold and numb, willing and waiting for the day they can completely let go. They say death doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints. It may take the devil that clings to the gift of life and bathes in the sun but leave the angel that has been beaten by the very gift it was supposed to cherish, leaving the broken to take matters into their own hands. That doesn’t make a difference though does it? Because no matter how exhausting it is to simply exist, they will still tell you to keep on living because “it gets better” right?