Conversations With GWC

[gwynlet]

In the dark, 20 minutes after bedtime has started. “Mom, why is there so many cabbages, people with cabbages, with Aang, who keep yelling “my cabbages”?”

[gwynlet]

Where we overlap

Tonight we discussed the differences among “mistakes,” “accidents,” and “things we do on purpose”. We distilled it down as follows:

If you’re swinging around Liam’s fishing pole because it’s fun, and you hit Bailey because you didn’t know she was there, that’s an accident.

If you decide to hit Bailey with the fishing pole, that’s on purpose.

If you make a bad choice on purpose, that’s a mistake.

It works.

[gwynlet]

“Who are you?”

“Gwyneth Winter Capen, your nugget.”

“What is your quest?”

“To plant seeds and ride my bike.”

[gwynlet]

“Orange. And blue. That’s light blue. And pink. The light blue is the color of the ocean when the sun shines on it.”

— Gwyneth’s report of what color nightgowns she would like her Tama to buy for her.

[gwynlet]

“It’s a map to your spaceship game.”

[gwynlet]

A good one

“I noticed something about the downstairs bathroom, the front part, and I have a question.”

“Ok.”

“The upstairs bathroom, it has a door. But downstairs there’s just a curtain, no door. Why is there no door?”

“Because I took it off.”

“Can you put it back on?”

“No. It’s better with it off.”

“Pleeeeeease?!”

“Nope.”

“But dad, I want a door!”

“Do you know why I took it off?”

“Why?”

“Because when it opened it swung out and could hit anyone who was in the hallway. So I took it off so it wouldn’t hit people.”

“But I want a door! Can’t you just build a good one?!”

[gwynlet]

What I know

This week G and I have talked about:

- why snow melts when it hits the windshield of a warm car, using a mug of hot cocoa as an analogy for heat transfer

- why mean kids usually are the result of mean or otherwise problematic parents and/or homes

- why salmon only leap up rivers during their spawning season

- how I can drive Michael and Amy’s car even though it’s not my car (ie, cars all operate the same, so what I’ve learned on other cars is transferable)

- why Malcolm looks sad and scared when we come home and he’s eaten food from the garbage, and how to reassure him that he’s not a Bad Dog

- where sugar comes from, and what it is

- how different creatures need different nutrients, so dung beetles can eat elephant poop and be healthy but Gwyn cannot eat elephant poop and be healthy

- why we follow rules that are designed to make sure all people are healthy and safe and treated well, but we may choose to face the consequences of not following rules that are unfair or mean

They say you can’t really know something unless you can teach it. Parenthood is 20 years of finding out what you know.

[gwynlet]

“I’m really tired and I just want to go to sleep but can I have snuggles and one story? And Clifford is going to sit up there and protect us from predators.” She fell asleep draped over my body 12 minutes later.

[gwynlet]

“I gotta groom her. I’m gonna brush her. She’s a helper llama. She has a job, and it’s making people feel good. She wears a harness, because she has a job. But she needs to be brushed.”

[gwynlet]

“I’m a dog take carer. Is that a job? I want it to be my job. Queenie needs me to feed her milk. She needs fifty hundred of milk because right now she’s not really being healthy because her mom died. She needs two bowls of milk each day and one bottle at night. Her mom was too fast and so she got hit by a car. All the dogs in my care center are my dogs and when they grow up they’re not going to go away, they’re going to stay. Are you guys hungry? Then let’s get you dogs some food. Okay puppies! Are you ready for some cupcakes?!”

[gwynlet]

No, not right now. No. Please. No. Can you? No?

While getting G out of the van, with 3” of powder on the ground, more coming down, my arms full is stuff, and the dog on his leash.

“So when you get inside, I think you should do something that sounds fun-“

“A show!”

“Ok. Please get out of your seat, your buckles are undone. So watch a show or something while I change clothes, then I’ll make you dinner and get out the supplies for baking.”

“Carrot cake! Yay!”

“Yep. Kiddo, get your backpack. Come on, it’s cold.”

“I’ll get the carrots right now!”

“No, I’m not ready to do that yet.”

*singing* “Carrots, carrots, carrots”

“You can totally get the carrots out, but after dinner, ok?”

“But I want to do it NOW. Now now now!”

“Maybe get out of the van first.”

[gwynlet]

Bedtime questions from this creature:

“Tomorrow, can I have more special cocoa with whipped cream and chocolate sauce?”

“Do fish have air?”

“If they don’t breathe air, why do they jump out of the water?”

“What predators hunt fish?”

“What predators hunt polar bears?”

“Why does my ‘mune system make sniffles?”

[gwynlet]

Maybe not Mexico, but yes

Mom, I have a question to ask you. This summer, when I’m 5, can we go to Mexico to the beach so I can build a sandcastle?

[gwynlet]

New matchbox cars and dinosaurs = “there’s an emergency! It’s right in front of the police station! It’s two dinosaurs having a fight!” #notsurethepolicecanhelpwiththat

[gwynlet]

Maybe when I’m 5 or 6 or 7. And we’ll see a zebra. On the savanna.

— Gwyneth, asking to go on a safari while watching animal documentaries.

[gwynlet]

“Mom, what do weddings do that’s good, and why did you and daddy decide to have one?”

And that is how I ended up explaining tax law and medical proxy to an almost-5 year old while also explaining that deciding to be someone’s partner is different from getting married.

[gwynlet]

Wrestling with her dad.

“I REALLY GOT YOU, DAD!”

*father sputters and gags as he tries to recover from the foot he just took to the trachea*

“Good instincts, kid.”