h2bakugou

★ lev ; he/him ; 19 | -navigation- | requests: closed ★

[h2bakugou]

hello hello, old friends, fans and readers!

god its been AGES. hi im alive ish-we’ll touch on that in a minute, but hi!

i miss writing so much, so much has happened, and i wish i could say im coming back, but i truly dont see a future for this blog, as much as it means the world to me, it wouldnt feel right coming back when i havent watched mha in years.

for starters, i wanna say thank you for the continued love and appreciation of my works, i know they’re not the best, but they’re what i considered some of my best work, for the time being lol. im 21 now, and its crazy to think about how long ago it really feels to look back at this stuff. i still love writing, i still love to read, i havent written anything worth posting in my opinion but if i do, this blog will be the first to know about it!

onto the health side of things, tw for cancer

i was diagnosed with stage 4 hodgkin’s lymphoma around the end of 2023, and have been undergoing chemotherapy for the past few months. my last scheduled treatment is the beginning of april but things are looking good. im hoping to make a decent recovery or at least have hair by the end of this year. i truly truly want to write again when im done with chemo. i keep telling myself i need to write again, work has kicked back into full gear after taking three months off, which i thought would’ve been the perfect time to stage some sort of writing come back, but life has been so utterly utterly busy. i hate that even with every fibre of my being, most of my ideas trickle down and out of my brain before i can even write them down on a piece of paper or a sticky note.

i miss the connection that writing brought me with like-minded readers and artists, and enjoyers. i miss the bliss of publishing something that felt ready to be published. i miss it all, and im so so so looking forward to that breath of fresh air again when i can calm down and write something that truly feels worth reading. and again, i want all of you to be the first to know about it.

i sound a little silly im sure, i havent posted in ages, and i know this account lays dormant for the most part but i still think about it all the time. this account is truly something special and i hope it is for someone else out there too.

no matter what you face, or what you’re going through, you’re not alone. you are loved. take care of yourselves!!

i shall be plotting a return of some kind, for now one battle at a time, oh yeah and fuck cancer.

[h2bakugou]

hi o/ I just wanted to send in a note to say: thank you for all you've shared with us over the course of this blog. your stories were always lovely and you have always been very caring for the people you interacted with. it's sad to hear this blog has ran its course, but it would be sadder to have you force yourself to interact in a way that doesn't bring you joy.

I wish you the best wherever you go, and hope things continue to improve for you. Take it easy and do try to be kind to yourself, you deserve it. ♥

thank you love, it means a lot. i wish the same for you <3

[h2bakugou]

hi there, i know it’s been a while

cut for length, tw: mentions of self-harm, suicide, etc.

i really don’t know how to say what i want too, in a short version, i think i’ve grown past this blog.

not in a ‘i don’t watch anime anymore’ kind of grown past, but more so in a, i want to create longform writing content.

i keep thinking about this blog every time i open a new doc to make some sort of silly one shot i fantasized about the week before doing so.

the only thing i’ve been hanging onto that’s been a consistent piece i’ve been working on is a fucking paul dano!riddler semi-smau (is this even real? does this even count as an smau if part of it is just writing like normal outside of the text convo and twitter post screenshots?)

a part of me also just, wants to move on in a way. i feel as if i’ll never be able to fully return to how i used to churn out content.

outside of tumblr i’ve grown, i’ve been at my job for over a year now and got promoted to an assistant manager, i’ve been with my wonderful boyfriend for six months now, i’ve made new friends, i’m working on getting a driver’s license, i’m doing so much more than i thought i was ever capable of doing two years ago.

but part of me still feels like there’s this piece missing. where i used to take two to three days out of my week sit down, answer requests, talk to you and put out content that made me feel important.

i’ve been battling with my mental health for a while, it really only became super evident maybe around a year ago, close to when i decided to take my hiatus.

i’m so easily worn out by the things i enjoy now, nothing ever really feels fun to me anymore. i try my hardest but even now, that piece i’ve been working on, the one where i’ve imagined myself, a little transmasc guy falling in love with the riddler because smooth brain loves incel serial killers (edit: see shigaraki)

is wearing me out. i’ve already taken numerous breaks in between writing what i’d call the worst thing i’ve ever written.

i can’t say i know what i’m battling, but it’s driven me to an attempt to take my own life a little over 9 months ago give or take? i look back and laugh at my struggle now because it’s something i just have to cope with, especially with humor, which evidently helps everything, or makes it worse i won’t ever know probably.

i just want to write, and i want to write confidently and know that if i’m doing anything productive and worthwhile, it’s this. it’s sitting down and coming up with an idea, putting that idea into words, into sentence, into characters and dialogue and making something entirely new.

i know you’re reading this like why is this bitch getting into suicide while talking about being bored with his life and his writing blog, believe me i’m right there with you

i just feel like i’ve done all i can, at least on this blog. it feels wrong to try and move my audience over to topics they don’t care for. i can’t shift your likes and dislikes, i can’t change what you’re into or not into. 

i want to start again, and i’m still working on the whole process, but for right now, i feel better in saying i think h2bakugou has had it’s run. i think it was beautiful and so much crazy fun and i would do it all over again.

i’ll be sure to stop back in if and when i manage to pull a blog name out of my ass for the next fandom i find myself in, lord knows i’ll think of something.

thank you all so much for literally everything. there’s more coming somewhere down the line, but for now all i can do is work behind the scenes to whip up something i know i’ll be just as proud of.

with love, 

-lev

[h2bakugou]

Hi Lev, just checking in on you^^ take all the time you need, mental health is very important and I dont think any of us mind waiting for you to feel better. You don't owe us anything, and it'ds better when you write feeling your best than when you aren't feeling it. Take care of yourself in the meantime❤

hi hun! thank you for this, i feel like ive taken so long to do really anything, I've tried writing shorts, little drabbles but i always find myself leaving them as just that, drafts, currently though, I'm trying to power through whatever spell I've been in for what seems like forever with a fic based off of some jjk fanart i saw.

if and when (i'm determined to write this fic whether it kills me or not) i would love to post it on here, i think the best option for me is just sporadic posts when i have the time and energy to write a piece.

things have beenso busy and it feels like i rarely get time to myself anymore, daily tasks and things i enjoy feel like chores and writing has sadly become one of those things. as much as i enjoy working and spending time with my friends, i feel like i have no time to myself, i often seclude myself in my room and try to enjoy what little time i feel like i have.

i think it's just a part of working on myself, and i think I've been getting slightly better, but there is still plenty of room for improvement, i still want to pursue writing, and eventually do something with it, even if i publish a little book for shits and giggles just to have some tangible that i can hold and flip through and look at and remind myself that 'hey, i did that. i made that' and feel proud about.

you guys have genuinely given me so much confidence in myself, writing allows me to showcase parts of me that i feel are weird or that the average person wouldn't understand, i get to embrace every part of me in a way that helps me.

but enough of the sappy shit, i promise I'm feeling better, and when h2bakugou finally returns full force, we're gonna be unstoppable :)

thank you, for all of your patience, love, and support, you truly have no idea how much it means to me, and how encouraging it is. you all truly keep me moving forward when i feel like quitting. thank you.

<3, lev

[h2bakugou]

i’m not back just yet, i’m still unsure of how long i’m going to be gone for, i just wanted to clarify i was just hopping on to check some stuff, please don’t send in any requests, i don’t want to turn off asks because i genuinely love talking to you guys when you have questions whenever i make little check in posts, 

i still want to keep this blog alive, but for now we’re still on hiatus and i’m just taking time to focus on me and how i feel so thank you for your patience <3

[h2bakugou]

how old are you ?

im not dead ayyyyo?

also im 19 its in my bio

i havent forgotten about this blog, i've been more or less still battling mental health problems moreso the lack of untreated shit that i wish i could go see and talk to someone about-

but i can barely stand to write for more than an hour at a time, shit is just so busy, and i can barely stay focused or motivated,

on a lighter note, i hope you guys are doing well and taking care of yourselves <3

[valtsv]

whenever you say TMA I think trans metal alchemist

(in a slightly different tone of voice) TRANS METAL ALCHEMIST

[valtsv]

oh no i'm so sorry! he's so short i didn't see him down there!

[h2bakugou]

hiiii i’m the amin who asked abt montgomery gator 😁😁 i’m gonna leave a croissant aftr my messages now , have a good day - 🥐

oo okii! ill most likely post when i get my ao3 up/when i get another blog going for fnaf stuff so ill be in the look out for ya!! have a good day as well love !!

[h2bakugou]

Is it me or do Monty remind you of Bakugou I have to know I’m not the only one😂

you know, now that you said it-

i can kind of see it, if we’re talking comparisons with anger/being hotheaded and wanting the spotlight!

i do definitely see myself being like “oh monty’s totally got the cutest soft spot for such such and when they open up and get close” which is what i do a lot with bakugou!

i think they have their similarities for sure!!

[h2bakugou]

S..SWEATPANTS 😁😁 shRew ? sharfg? link? lIND? hahaha.. hey.. 😁😁

I-

listen,,,,,, i dont have an explanation

ALSO ***possibly suggestive??***

https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdr9CvWd/

[h2bakugou]

I WOULDNT BE MAD AT ALL LOLLLLLLL,, what’re ur thoughts on montgomery gator

KJDKJHGNJDFNGJ HI

monty? mr. gator?

listen, ignore the 8 edits i have saved and the grey-sweatpants tiktok

he's my favorite along with sun and moon!

[h2bakugou]

could you create a different account for fnaf ? i’m just not into that and i don’t want to unfollow this account because i want to keep supporting your stuff

hii! yes if i do decide i want to write for fnaf, which i most likely will in the near future, i think i'm just gonna write over on ao3!

[h2bakugou]

do it

become a fnaf blog

i'm not part of the fandom but if that's what you want then i support you bby 😌

- 🪶

LISTNE DJFHGJDFNH

the amount of fnaf content i've consumed in the past three weeks cannot be healthy.

i probably wouldn't post fnaf content here, just to keep things cleaner? and easier to navigate? idk i'll probably just write on ao3 if my invitation ever shows up KFHSJFSJ

i really don't know how i go from "omg shigaraki's so fine" to "moon man and sun man make me happy."

anyways im doing alright, managing, mental health is something but we are working on it and even if it's small, progress is progress!

[h2bakugou]

how mad would yall be if i turned into a fnaf blog

because the amount of fics i started purely in a spiral of madness is far too many than id like to be proud of

it’s not that i wanna quite writing for anime, more specifically bnha/mha, i just haven’t really watched any, or absorbed any anime related content in a while. my tastes have shifted, which is fine, and im sure it wouldn’t be hard to get back into the rhythm of things, but, fnaf is something that’s really fueling all my creativity rn so we kinda at a blank spot rn, and a new account certainly doesn’t exist already and there certainly isn’t an ao3 in the works for me to just vent through monty fics.

[h2bakugou]

i would like to apologize for the lack of updates, i really would like to write as often as i used too, but i’m going to be taking a break once more.

i’m struggling with my mental health right now, and not necessarily ‘forcing’ myself to write makes me feel exhausted? but writing when i’m not in the mood just kinda wears me out.

i’d really like to focus on myself and get to a better space mentally to be able to perform at my best, or what i’ll call my best again, so thank you for understanding, i’m not really sure when i’ll be back posting, i’ll continue to run this blog, and if things change i will keep you all updated!!

[h2bakugou]

Bruh did I srsly miss your birthday?? Sorry!! Happy birthday tho

its okay!! thank you <3!!

[h2bakugou]

did you always use he/him or is this account run by someone else now? or did you change pronouns?

i did not! i came out as trans a while ago, though i never really mentioned anything about it here, it's still run by the same perosn, i just go by lev now!