Till The Ink Runs Dry,

All the words my heart sings that my head doesn't quite understand.

[halfinspiredmostlytired]

I feel an ache in my chest, as if it'll collapse from emptiness But at the same time I feel nothing. My friends are with me, We sit and laugh in intervals. I feel so alone I might as well go home. I see her in my dreams, but in them we never speak I'm not sure what that means. What did her love feel like? I don't think I miss her anymore. Yet I still find myself thinking of her. I've been told I'm funny, But these days I feel stupid I open my mouth and nobody laughs. I wish I could blend in Without feeling like I'm a liar I just want to belong somewhere. My love is the moon It'd be foolish to say I'm the sun I am just a dim star seen only in her light. I long to be better, I avoid myself in the mirror But she still calls me her lovely boy. I'm restless, but it's too late to sleep again I don't want to be awake today.

"A Morning Left To Think Myself to Death" by Xavier James Rose

[halfinspiredmostlytired]

I've learned throughout the years that nobody is going to save me from the sea of troubles I face. I've viewed past lovers as lifesavers, boats, or anything that could keep me from drowning. However, it was all just an illusion. I've been drowning regardless whether they were there for me or not, because nobody could save me. You're different though, I feel it in my restless soul. You're not a lifesaver, nor are you a boat. You won't save me, but you're something else entirely. You're a lighthouse, leading the way to safety, to home. I come to you, having survived the sea of troubles to rest and heal my heavy soul. Now I can still hear the waves crash the shore and see the vast ocean on the horizon of my life, but I am no longer drowning.

[halfinspiredmostlytired]

I met you in the fall, and as the days grew colder, I felt warmer, the kind of warmth that feels familiar, almost like home. I’ve known you for a short while, but I can’t shake the feeling that my soul has known you from long before. My soul sighs in disbelief at how lucky it is that our paths have crossed, whether that be for the first time or the hundredth. Maybe we were star crossed lovers destined to be torn apart, Or maybe in a past life you broke my heart. Regardless, I swear In some other life I’ve kissed your sweet lips and felt the nectar heal my wounds. Words like love, growth, and stability have never felt real until they were said in your heavenly voice. I simultaneously feel butterflies and tranquility, my heart flutters with absolute trust in your hands and sings simple words: It’s you, it’s you, it’s you.

[halfinspiredmostlytired]

Tell me goodnight in a way that’ll put my head in the clouds. I’ll lay on a soft bed and allow my restless mind to roam the moonlit sky and drift off peacefully to sleep amongst the clouds and dream with stars in my eyes. Tell me goodnight in a way that’ll keep me warm, Not even my nicest sheets are as soft as your skin and no amount of layers could warm my soul the way lying next to you does. Tell me goodnight in a way that’ll make me feel safe. I fear the uncertainty of what lies in the darkness, but I am more shaken by the dark thoughts that invade my mind at night from time to time. Tell me goodnight in a way that’ll take the weight off my heavy heart. I no longer wish to use it as an anchor for my heart belongs home. Not the place I live in, but you, the girl who’s face I wish I could kiss goodnight every single night. So tell me goodnight however you like. Just a simple, “Goodnight, I love you” will do because knowing you love me is more than enough for me.

[halfinspiredmostlytired]

I don’t want to think about you anymore, but I’ll write about you till the ink runs dry. Like an odd sort of compromise; the separation of the head and the heart. To allow my heart to sing the words my head doesn’t understand.

[halfinspiredmostlytired]

Loving her was a dream, a soft intermission from my tragedy of a life. One kiss and I was on the moon, blinded by all the stars she put in my eyes. Her beauty was ethereal, so I believed that maybe love was eternal. Loving her was a dream, and it broke my heart to wake up.

[halfinspiredmostlytired]

I don’t think I’ll ever see you again unless it’s in a dream. Without a doubt, I’d sleep all day just to be with you.

[halfinspiredmostlytired]

“They say it takes half the time you were together to get over someone. I did the math and according to common knowledge it’d take me a little under three months. So I marked my calendar for the day I would no longer ache for you. The first month passed in a tear filled daze. The second one was just the same. The final month came, the glorious day When I was no longer supposed to feel the pain. I didn’t cry myself to sleep, But I was told I still say your name while I’m unconscious. I didn’t talk about you anymore, But my mind had my memories of you on replay. As more time has passed, I’ve come to realize: 
I don’t think I’ll ever find someone quite like you. 
I don’t think I’ll ever love someone the way I loved you. 
I don’t think I’ll ever forgive you. 
Cause I lost so much of me when I lost you. But I’m fine. 
I’m fine. 
Or at least that’s what I tell myself

[halfinspiredmostlytired]

“I wish could be content going around in circles like everyone else. 
I was one of them once, blinded by the constant spinning until one day I became too dizzy and stopped. 
The moment I stopped I no longer felt dizzy, I no longer felt anything at all. 
I was no longer going in the circles, and instead found myself drifting aimlessly. 
I had nowhere to go and nothing to look forward to. 
I do not envy the ones spinning with a false sense of purpose, but neither do I see myself as superior to them. 
I simply see them and muse on their perception of life. 
I wish I could be content with going around in circles. The façade masking the lack of meaning, but I find myself aching to move forward in search of finding an answer that I’m not even sure exists.”

[halfinspiredmostlytired]

Sometimes I draw parallels from the way things were then to how they are now. I tell myself that you are not my past. I’ve grown and changed, even though I don’t quite know how. But then two questions arise in my mind: Am I foolish enough to believe this will have a different outcome? If so, what does the future hold? I kiss your sweet lips and hope that they don’t tell me honeyed words. The future is uncertain.

[halfinspiredmostlytired]

I told you I have a way with words Oh how I went on and on about how I could write you endless stanzas All about how lovely I think you are I’d fill each line with honeyed words That’d leave your lips wet with a smile I told you I have a way with words, but I never told you, they were all about her.

[halfinspiredmostlytired]

I love you today and I will choose to love you tomorrow as well, for loving you is the best decision I've ever made.

[halfinspiredmostlytired]

It's not hard for me to love someone. What's hard is allowing myself to be loved. It's hard to believe that anyone would find me desirable. It's hard to feel worthy of affection.

[halfinspiredmostlytired]

I remember that day when you hugged me tight enough to fix some broken pieces of me. You left lipgloss on my neck. I remember that day when we first kissed. You kissed my neck, my breath hitched, my heart faltered, and I felt warm. I remember that day when I nervously reached over the armrest and grabbed your hand. I expected you to pull away, but instead you held on tightly. You rubbed my hand with your thumb and I melted. I constantly find myself thinking that I could've loved you. Deep down I know I did love you and I still do.

[lookingthroughslowglass]

You see her, her wave to your simple greeting makes your day You won’t tell her that prior to that moment, you had been rehearsing that simple interaction in your head all morning You look at her, her dark green eyes catch yours and you smile You won’t tell her that you’ve been staring at her for awhile in hopes she’d look back at you You walk together, her shoulder grazes yours You won’t tell her that in that moment you felt a rush of warmth as though you had just put on your winter coat You talk to her, her voice is soft You won’t tell her that her voice reminds you of the soft tapping of rain on a window sill or a warm summer breeze You spend time with her, her presence is like sunshine, warm and beautiful You won’t tell her that she’s the kind of girl that inspires art You show her this poem and anticipate her reaction You won’t tell her that it’s about her, but you hope that she knows that it is and that she’s been all you’ve been able to think about as of lately

A poem I wrote for my ever so lovely girlfriend (I wrote this before we got together)(back when I thought the feelings were unrequited)

[lookingthroughslowglass]

Just because they dont want you doesn’t mean you’re undesirable. Just because they don’t need you doesn’t mean you’re insignificant. Just because they don’t love you doesn’t mean you’re unlovable.

Things I need to remind myself (via lookingthroughslowglass)

[lookingthroughslowglass]

Love is the endearing sight of your warm smile easily distinguished amongst a bustling crowd Or the vivacious sound of your laughter, which always inspires a smile to tug at my lips Love is the gentle touch of your cold hands pulling me closer, yet never being close enough Or the marks left where your lips once were, hidden away in places reserved for your eyes only Love is the ridiculous way your voice sounds when you jokingly sing along to the radio Or the adorable ways you express excitement like jumping around or making comical facial expressions Love is the comforting sound of your messages filling up my phone, even when you’re just saying hello Or the late nights spent on skype when you fall asleep and it almost feels like you’re next to me Love is simply your presence in my life, You are welcome to stay for however long you like

I know no other way to describe what love is than to say all of this (via lookingthroughslowglass)