All Good Things Must End

[coyotebuegwater-deactivated2016]

[sergeantbeefcake]

When you and Benny lock eyes from across the gambling floor in the Tops

[lmaonade]

i am a vegetable medley and god is sautéing me on medium high heat 

[lmaonade]

idk why everyone took me saying this as a bad thing… it translates to “i am becoming delicious” 

[tamascotchi-deactivated20190101]

art is open to interpretation

[colehersch]

the Kiss My Ass singing man— an old snap story from when i lived in chicago

[ampervadasz]

[back-that-sass-up]

it took nine seconds for me to fully process what i was watching and then i started LAUHGHING

[docteryn]

I would be dead

[cheaphalloweencostume]

today in “texts from my mom”

[frollosuggestions]

what’s that noise. 

[frollosuggestions]

sounds like a bunch of rocks hitting each other

[frollosuggestions]

i’m going to check

[frollosuggestions]

the……. gargoyles…. I think they were……. no, it couldn’t be….

[officialwakaflocka-deactivated2]

[plants4]

siri ur a judgemental piece of shit

[lmaonade]

lmao excuse my language but reese’s penis butter cups lol 

[gomjabbar]

want to thank Officer Estevez from the Alice County Police Department for helping to break me out the drywall i sealed myself in again trying to turn into a butterfly. Officer Estevez has shown more interest in my real-life metamorphosis project than my dad Nathan ever has and his kindness will not go ignored

[realistically-unrealistic]

The start of my long battle with Internet addiction

[unclefather]

me: how many bandaids did you open?

my daughter: two

me: are you lying?

my daughter: yes

[thecommonchick]

THIS IS TOO MUCH 💀😂

[roaringstream]

“Do NOT tell the world about this” 200,000 notes

[pissvortex]

[pissvortex]

CUNT WARS IS REAL???

[mobeanz]

It is pitch black outside and someone is mowing their lawn

[savory-n-sweet]

power move

[mobeanz]

Update: the someone is my father

[savory-n-sweet]

does he have a flashlight

[mobeanz]

“dad did you have a flashlight?”

“no”

“how did you see?”

“moon.”

[powerfrogarchive-deactivated201]

Never forget:

There were Two of them

[dare-i-say-asexual]

being a preteen girl is so weird i remember one time when i was 11 a friend wouldn’t talk to me for a week because she was mad that the ritual we did at a slumber party to summon the jonas brothers into her dreams didn’t work for her but i had a nightmare about them chasing me through a dark airport