he doesn’t deign to raise to the bait tonight, ( though the repercussions of a hefty shove once again cross his mind & his nose wrinkles at the plume of smoke blown his way ). he heaves a sigh instead, near lost in the music filtering through the walls and windows and front door, spilling out into the otherwise quiet night. caz doesn’t know why he’s HERE — at the party that is. the exhausting motivator of expectation, likely. part of a dictated script he follows because that is what the imaginary audience wants. he’s always been following scripts, it seems ; first his father’s, now one of his own making : be seen at the party, drink, half-heartedly flirt, jump in the pool, argue with kieran… it all suddenly seems so frivolous, insignificant against the tide of the future. caz feels weighed down by a wave of weariness, dumps out the contents of his cup into the bushes below so he can stop holding it. argue with kieran. ( why ? ). he eyes him again, straightening from leaning on the railing to rest with his hip against it and arms crossed instead. “ dunno — ” it’s vague, but then again so had the question. “ like you said, i guess, avoiding the FUN. ” he thinks again about frozen minnesota lakes at midnight and time standing still. the closest he’s gotten on the west coast is on dark beaches with rippling waves reflecting broken starlight — but hollis is too far inland for that to be convenient. kieran is almost luminescent in the dim light, from blonde hair to neon paint, and caz is reminded briefly of the way ice looks under moonlight. his chin jerks in an approximation of a nod, “ what are you still doing HERE ? ”
𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐙𝐄 that slips past him, he’d been warm inside, being tossed among the throngs of people and from the pure adrenaline that ran through his veins, feeding from the energy and excitement of the crowd, walking as if quinby was his kingdom, and feeling like a god. the letters k-i-n-g are written across his chest, courtesy of giselle. but as the goosebumps litter his toned arms, making him feel something other than whatever courses through his veins, it’s a reminder that he’s mortal. the luxurious roll of his eyes is a natural reaction whenever something pirouettes out of caz’s mouth , “ god -- you’re fuckin’ BORING . you may as well have just grabbed a telescope and WATCHED from your window at billings . ” he murmurs, pulling the joint from his lips, blue orbs eyeing it wedged between his digits under the dim porch lighting , “ finishing THIS off . i’d OFFER you a hit but i know you’re too much of a GOOD BOY to even come close to it . ” he pauses, eyes swivelling back over to caz , “ considering your CAREER is most likely headed for the pits BEFORE it’s even been lifted off the ground , think you could LOOSEN up a bit caz . --- and you’ve ALREADY disappointed daddy by choosing to PLAY with sticks instead of balls , ” he can’t help the way his lips twitch in amusement at his own words , “ got NOTHIN’ to lose . just like ME . ”