hallidaysfm:
coaxing a reaction out of caz is almost satisfying enough to melt away the natural annoyance that comes whenever a zeckhauser is in his presence . almost . the sight of him alone brings back a plethora of memories that makes his fingers twitch , wanting to curl into a fist . it’s an emotion that’s been embedded into his head , a bond with his father was out of the question , their differences highly outweighing their similarities ; but if it was one thing they still shared – it was a dislike towards caz’s family . and maybe that’s why he still takes his father’s side when it comes to them ; holding onto the one thing that they can still agree on . at surface level , he can’t even remember the reason behind it all and he rarely ever takes the time to think about it – but he knows caz himself , has nothing to do with it - and neither does kieran .
“ i prefer GOD , ” he shoots back without a beat , the words come out dryly but their hardly sarcastic . he’d been called the american god back at yale , his destructive behavior and balancing on the edge of life and death earning him a reputation that the boy was practically immortal . he stops abruptly , which puts a halt in caz’s steps too . he leans forward , dipping his head down slightly – only holding a couple inches over caz , “ jesus fucking christ - ” he says , the words wrapped into a half laugh , “ somebody get this guy a xanax before the vein in his forehead fucking EXPLODES . ” it’s directed towards the students walking past them but his eyes don’t break contact with caz’s , “ — or do you need me to PERSONALLY hire someone to pry that stick out of your ass ? ” he lets out a bark of a laugh , one that’s he sure is infuriating as his smirk as his hand springs up cupping his cheek and giving it a few light taps , “ lighten the fuck up caz . or what’s the point of even being here ? ” he backs up , dropping his hand and sidestepping him , arm swinging out and gesturing him forward – now out of his way .
.
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caz has known the halliday name to always be spoken with more than just a hint of disgust, a special kind reserved just for them — at least until caz had stepped outside his father's carefully drawn lines. now if asked, caz isn't sure why it still lingers ( more than LINGERS : hangs, always looming, always PRESENT like an unwanted stench ) ; instinct, emotional muscle memory, most likely. he's never known what it's like to feel anything but HATRED for kieran halliday, and it's easier to stay in that vein. kieran's obviously taken his father's hate and made it his own, why shouldn't he mirror that back ?? so maybe it feels NATURAL when caz's head tilts back slightly to keep defiant eye contact with kieran, jawline set in a tense line as he resists the urge to either step backward or shove kieran straight in the chest. they'd been the same height ONCE — until they settled at their respective heights and caz can't help but think he's always trying to compensate for those two impossible inches : that in a way kieran always quite literally has the high ground now.
kieran does look uncannily GODLIKE, framed in the doorway like this, golden mid-morning light filtering in through the windows in the hall behind him — certainly there have been paintings of gods in less. he doesn't quite flinch when kieran's hand lands along his cheek, but it's close, jaw tensing further, lips pressed tightly together to reign in whatever counterargument springs to his tongue ( though he doesn't move away either — as demeaning as the position feels, backing away somehow that also feels like yielding ). that's another thing kieran shares with gods perhaps : his way of making people feel INFERIOR — patronized, lesser, condescension etched into every inch of his perfect body. kieran's won yet again ; caz knows this somewhere but he's never admitted that and kill him before he starts now. a muscle under his eye twitches, the flush spread across his cheeks hot as kieran finally pulls away, GRACIOUS enough to give him the passage he'd wanted to begin with. " not to waste my time, unlike YOU — " he manages coldly, posture ramrod straight as he finally takes a step forward, hesitating for a moment as he steps past kieran, resolve fracturing around him. it's a hard shove to kieran's chest that he gives, hard enough perhaps to make him stumble a step back. " — stay in your own fucking lane for once, " he hisses, before turning to stalk off.
