Learning to let go and good bye
So a couple of weeks ago I posted about my ex-friend who decided to ditch me and how much I wish I could apologise. I still do wish I could say I was sorry and try to make things right between us, but I know it will never happen. My crime was wanting to spend time with her. For anyone who does know the tumblr artist Instant-Rhapsody, no matter what she says to you, my only crime was wanting to spend time with her. And now I look back on it, it actually makes me quite angry with her for what she did to me. The thing with friends you make online is that you can't just go over to their houses and hang out, you can't go shopping, go to the cinema or whatever as other options on what to do. We had chatting and rping. There was nothing else we could do as a bonding act or spending time together. And for the record she blatantly told me that doing those two things pretty much weren't good enough for her, and I was powerless to do anything else with her. And even now I see her blog and all these posts about how letting go of toxic people is for the best and how you aren't responsible for another person's happiness. She knows I can still view her blog. Funny thing is I really don't care. I was not a toxic person, I was clingy and wanted to spend time with someone I really cared about, that was my crime. The other point is, no you don't have to be responsible for another person's happiness, but you are responsible if you go out of your way to make them feel miserable, all people should remember that. If anyone is toxic it is probably her. She would start arguments with me all the time over stupid things, make me feel like complete shit even when I have enough problems to deal with in my physical life. And she would do this near enough every month. She also promised to do art work for me. I gave her $225, mainly because she was having trouble and needed the money. The understanding being in return I would get plenty of art work of various characters we had made up and worked on together. I have never seen a scrap of completed art come my way and now she is no longer my friend I have just lost $225 because she is ignoring me and refusing to give it back. I could go on about how people shouldn't trust her as an artist, but really there is no point. Over the past couple of months I have realised I have better friends, who have come to me, supported me through this and done all they can to help take my mind off what has happened. I am not angry anymore, even if this message seems charged with hatred, it really isn't, I am just reflecting on my emotions toward Instant-Rhapsody over the past few months. I do still miss her, I would still like to be her friend once more, through preferably without all the drama. However, one of my best friends pointed out to me that what me and Instant had was an abusive relationship, so maybe this termination of our friendship was a good thing. Least I am not being knocked around emotionally anymore. So my final note is this. I am leaving this blog. I won't be posting on it anymore and I will probably be quitting tumblr all together. The last line will be cut and I won't have to fret over what is being said by who and wonder if I will ever get the chance to talk to Instant again. So bye everyone, it has been fun. I don't really expect anyone to notice this or care really, but any who do, good bye and all the best.
