Burn (Alexander Hamilton x Reader)
Summary: You had always thought you and Alexander lived a fairy tale happily ever after life, but one day when you receive a document called “The Reynolds Pamphlet,” your entire world is flipped upside down.
Warnings: Mentions of cheating, and I would say it’s on the more angsty side of fanfiction.
A/N: Hello! I am so excited to be posting my first story ever. My inspiration was obviously the song “Burn” and the idea of Alexander being in the room when this all went down. I’m proud of myself for how it turned out, and I hope you feel the same way. Please don’t hesitate to let me know what you thought or to request a story. Have a wonderful day!
As you walked through the town, basket in hand, you enjoyed the warm rays from the sun. You had no idea that in a matter of minutes, your entire world would be completely turned upside down. The whole time you walked down the street, it felt like every pair of eyes were focused on you. And you swore you kept hearing whispers of, ”Have you read this?”
Before you could continue down your path, you were stopped by a man whom you had never met. Not even saying a word, he shoved a thick pamphlet in your hand with an apologetic look, and hurried away. You looked down at the paper and rolled your eyes. “The Reynolds Pamphlet” as it was called was written by your husband. What political debate could he be getting himself into now?
Once you found a nearby bench to sit on, you began to flip through the pamphlet given to you. Still confused as to why this was the source of such gossip you began to look for highlights in your pamphlet. Suddenly, you felt like you couldn’t breathe, and it wasn’t because of your corset; you finally discovered what all the fuss was about.
“…had a torrid affair with Mrs. Maria Reynolds, with her husband’s knowing consent.”
“I had frequent meetings with her, most of them at my own house.”
“While Mrs. Hamilton and our children were absent…”
You were now one hundred percent sure that every single person in the street was staring at you, clutching the paper in your hand, tears streaming down your face. In a state of rage, you crumbled the pamphlet up in your hand and threw it to the ground. Next, you stood up and took off as fast as considered publicly acceptable to reach your home.
Reaching your destination, you threw open the door and ran upstairs to the privacy of your bedroom. Instantly, you collapsed at the foot of your bed, sobs racked your body. Your chest heaved up and down as you tried to calm your breathing. A million thoughts were racing through your mind, and you were trying to sort through all of them. The most important being why did Alexander do this?
Was he tired of being with you? Did he regret asking for your hand in marriage, and later starting a family with you?
A tug in your heart pulled you towards a small chest on your dresser with (y/n) engraved on the top. You gently picked it up and walked in front of the fireplace, starting it up. With tears still flowing down your face, you opened the lid and stared down at the letters resting inside.
They were the all the letters Alexander had ever written from the moment you began to court. And while that was a lot of letters, each and every one held a special meaning to you. You dug through the stack until you reached the bottom and grabbed the letter. It was the first letter Alexander had ever written you. At the time, you felt so in love, but now you were not so sure.
Now holding the letter at eye level, you examined each line and tried to find clues; warning signs that you should have noticed. In the middle of your examination, the bedroom door opened and Alexander stepped in. He hung up his coat and made is way over to you, to see what you were doing.
By the glow of the fire, he could see the tears resting on your cheeks, and in an instant, he was kneeling right next to you, engulfing you in his strong arms.
“What’s the matter, (y/n)?” he questioned as he wiped away the tears with the pad of his thumb.
“You know,” you began quietly so you wouldn’t give away your cracking voice. “I had thought you were mine from the beginning of our relationship, but I guess I was wrong.” you admitted.
“What are you talking about, darling? Of course I am yours. I always have been and I always will be.” Alex shook his head, laughing lightly at the absurdity of your statement.
“Really?” you questioned. “Then why did I seem to be the last to find out that you had an affair? And by reading it in your stupid pamphlet, no less!” you shouted accusingly.
“You-you-what-wait…” Alex stuttered, taken aback by what you had said.
Alexander knew in his heart and mind that there was no possible way for him to debate himself out of the argument that would surely follow. It was time that he owned up for his mistakes.
“I was so in love with the palaces that you built me out of your words that I was delusional enough to create a fantasy where we could live happily ever after.” you mused aloud, although more to yourself than to your husband.
“But we are living happily ever after. This home, our family, the fact that we have each other. That’s our happily ever after, it’s not a fantasy.” Alexander pointed out, hurt by what you had just said.
You stood up and took yourself out of his grasp, heading to the opposite side of the room just to be away from the man you loved. You were trying to mull everything over and decide what the right plan of action was.
It wasn’t probable for you to take your children and leave, it was unacceptable in society. And while you couldn’t stand the sound of Alexander’s name at the moment, you did not want to drag his name through the mud any more than it had already been. You would have to stay, but there were going to be some changes.
“I just have one question for you.” you started, staring out the window and smiled internally as you saw your children playing in the yard, oblivious to what was happening between their parents.
When he didn’t interrupt, you continued. “What made you think it was a good idea to publish the letters she wrote you? Was it because you are so obsessed with your legacy and paranoid how people look at you that you couldn’t stand the thought of somebody else exposing the affair?”
You waited with a battered breath for his response. It took a moment for Alexander to respond and in that time, you tried to convince yourself that none of this was real. So desperately you wanted to believe it was a bad dream you would soon wake up from.
“Yes.” Alexander answered, his voice almost inaudibly.
More tears pooled in your eyes as you covered your mouth in shock. Yes, Alex was always worried about his reputation, but you never thought he would go as far as ruining your lives just to fix his. At this point, your back was turned to him and all he could see was the shaking of your shoulders.
Tentatively taking a step forward, Alexander slowly approached you and rested his hands on your shoulders, trying to console you. Leaning his mouth close to your ear, he whispered. “I know that I broke your heart and I don’t deserve your forgiveness or trust ever again. But please, let me try to mend the pieces I broke.”
Quickly, you turned around and started at Alexander with a look of horror across your face. He thought it would be that easy? That he could just build more palaces and cathedrals out of words and all would be forgotten? Well he was sorely mistaken.
“No.” you shouted, boldly. “You forfeit all rights to my heart when you slept with Maria Reynolds. In fact, you forfeit your place in our bed. You can sleep in your office from now on, because I am not leaving, but I cannot share a room with you any longer. We may be married, but I am not your wife any longer.”
Guided by the pain and sorrow in your heart, you grabbed the stack of letters from your chest. Stalking towards the fireplace, you knew what you had to do. It was the only way you could begin to move on.
Slowly at first, but then more confidently, you tore the first letter that Alexander had ever written you and you threw it in the fire. Each letter met the same fate as you cried silently. Alexander stood off to the side and watched in horror at the scene that unfolded before him. He had caused you, normally such a sweet and caring person, to destroy the earliest symbols of the love you two shared.
For a moment, he thought he was imaging it, but Alexander heard your broken voice. “I’m burning the letters that might have redeemed you.”
When all the letters had been burned, you closed the lid to your chest and placed it back on your dresser. It felt like a weight had been lifted from your shoulders, but you still felt betrayed and destroyed. Marching up to Alexander, you stared him right in the eyes.
“Just like those letters, I hope that you burn.” you spat.
You turned on your heel and walked out of the room to visit your children, slamming the door behind you; leaving Alexander, with tears in his eyes, to think about what exactly he had destroyed.
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