Dicks Out For Lafayette

History | Humor | Here for that 18th century drama | She/her| WOC | get rekt TJ

[charlesoberonn]

This pun is hilarious, but Victor Frankenstein would absolutely not fucking say that.

[charlesoberonn]

To clarify: My problem isn't Frankenstein speaking with modern slang. My problem is Frankenstein being okay with somebody drinking his monster.

[fleshdyketwo]

why is "mummies are so rare bc the british ate them" always presented as like a morbid fun fact and not an example of heinous racism and dehumanization of people of colour to the point of cannibalism. a little bit odd if im honest.

[lapetitsyrene]

I should be allowed into every museum’s archives actually

[moss-sprout]

I'm starting a collection

[depsidase]

[tribeofthedrunkenweasles]

[hjbender]

The Four Discoursemen

[charlesleeraejepsen]

if dracula was on queer eye

karamo: I think this attachment you have to your ancestral home is beautiful, it’s a really special kind of connection to have and it must be really intense to be leaving so soon.

dracula: yes sometimes I feel as though I would literally die without this land

karamo: but you won’t and that’s the beautiful thing about the human spirit. we can always move on and accept the new alongside the old.

dracula:

bobby, zooming from carfax: so my team here has been working hard to make this old Victorian mansion with a dilapidated church next to a wildly unethical psychiatric facility feel like a home. we have some beautiful stonework in the almost medieval portion of the property that I’ve chosen to highlight with an open patio space perfect to soak up that sun and entertain.

dracula: e. excellent.

jvn: so drac, i’m loving your long hair mustache moment, obvi, but I have to wonder are you maybe hiding behind it? a teensey bit? like when you look in the mirror are we seeing dracula or are we seeing full bush

dracula, crying: I do not know

tan: so i love the natural textiles, you clearly love a bit of camp with all the capes and blouses, but I feel like it kind of verges into costume territory at some points. you’re kind of dressing to your title but I want to see if we can’t pull back a bit and find something that doesn’t so much scream count as it does whisper it, does that sound like something you’re interested in? just a low key vibe that says “I can throw this on, leave the house, go to a nice bistro somewhere, and everyone knows dracula’s wearing the clothes the clothes aren’t wearing dracula.”

dracula in a cloak, two silk waist coats, and a ruff: I don’t know, tan.

tan: well, can we just try a black skinny jean? just to see how it looks?

antoni: so Dracula I notice that you don’t really have a lot in your kitchen. just. a lot of black sausage, so I wanted to ask are you iron deficient?

dracula: uh. n… yes.

antoni: okay so i want to to introduce you to this do you know that this is

dracula: a rock?

antoni: it’s an avacado

[reservaledog]

men will tell you "i experimented in college" and then you don't know whether they smoked weed, kissed men, or built an 8 foot tall monster in the comfort of their dorm

[bonnini]

Excuse me?????

the fact that movie adaptations of The Three Musketeers aren’t consistently giving me crazy cat man Richelieu is honestly so outrageous I want to see - NO I DEMAND to see the Red Eminence draw up important documents and plot to destroy France’s enemies while Soumise naps in his lap and Ludoviska tries to knock ink bottles off the table!!! Wake up how are movie studios not taking this excellent opportunity to give us Richelieu lounging on an armchair in the dark and petting cats like a moustache twirling Bond villain hello??????????????????????????????????????

[zoomacroomz]

If I had a nickel for every time I fell in love with a queer, fictionalized depiction of a real-life 18th century thief played by a washed-up, middle-aged comedian in leather pants, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

[baroque-babes]

can we pls talk about thomas jefferson’s bed 

like imagine him sliding across the bed and into his office

[philip-ham]

Impress them with your love-making then impress them with your law-making.

[professorsparklepants]

#what the fuck was wrong with thomas jefferson honestly

[ooyo]

This would be great

[monticellomarshmallow]

I saw this and immediately knew who’s bed it was

[coughloop]

Worlds oldest haunted house has passed away at the age of 207

[coughloop]

I think you have a fundamental misunderstanding of... maybe everything actually

[hemaris]

bat mosaic at the rijksmuseum you are all i think about 💖

[blastdamage]

the paris catacombs are 1000x more fucked up than i imagined

[blastdamage]

did you know the cops once found a fully functioning movie theater with a well-stocked bar inside the catacombs and they when they tried to go back later to formally investigate it was completely emptied out save for a note that read "don't search for us"

[monticellomarshmallow]

I love this so much.

[everythingfox]

Definitely

[cricketcat9]

…aaaand! HE DID IT!!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[prokopetz]

One of my favourite bits of media history trivia is that back in the Elizabethan period, people used to publish unauthorised copies of plays by sending someone who was good with shorthand to discretely write down all of the play's dialogue while they watched it, then reconstructing the play by combining those notes with audience interviews to recover the stage directions; in some cases, these unauthorised copies are the only record of a given play that survives to the present day. It's one of my favourites for two reasons:

It demonstrates that piracy has always lay at the heart of media preservation; and

Imagine being the 1603 equivalent of the guy with the cell phone camera in the movie theatre, furtively scribbling down notes in a little book and hoping Shakespeare himself doesn't catch you.

[valtsv]

i love the concept of divorce lawyers. the only things in the world that have the power to undo your marriage are death itself or a special little boy with a law degree.

[valtsv]

til death or some guy do us part