welcome to hamland @hammity-hammer - Tumblr Blog

hammer time pt. 2 ! the re-hammening

hi i'm redoing my intro bc i suck at tagging shit & instead of working on that i am just,,, gonna do this!

THIS IS AN 18+ NSFW BLOG! IF YOU'RE A YOUNGIN' (<18) PLEASE REMOVE YOURSELF OR I WILL DO IT FOR YOU :)

so hi-- welcome to my blog! i'm apple/aj, i'm 24 & use he/it pronouns ! this is obviously a steddie blog, but i do love other ships including my boys, and any of the other older st kids ! platonic!stobin has the key to my heart w steddie, but i do love me some good ole ronance, stargyle, jargyle, etc. and write little blurbs sometimes!

i'm working on writing more BUT i work a lot and spend a lot of time with my irl platonic partners :p speaking of work-- i'm a big nerd about piercings & tattoos and if you wanna talk body mods i am indeed the guy (i love learning things and also like to think i know some stuff!) so feel free to dm me or send an ask!

i do indeed have an ao3 & a twitter (x? fuck that) (@hammityhammer) where i occasionally post shit!

i just figured out how to make shit colorful so pls ignore all my color coding (those are the colors i think of with those ships and also orange is my color so :pp)

anywho! i'm down for new buds always, just dm me/follow/whatever & im sure i'll annoy you at some point to get to know you !! (unless you intimidate me, like most people do, in which case i am so sorry)

(also-- i don't use many tags anymore BUT ouch ! is always my uber angsty rbs/writing so ! keep that in mind pls <3)

thank ya & welcome to my blog !

#get to know ham #ham's new intro thing #hammityhammer

grymmoires

inexplicably-gaining-followers

This stupid exchange between friends has become a cultural icon.

the-haiku-bot

This stupid exchange

between friends has become a

cultural icon.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

machtaholic

Lucky

Eddie heard the front door open and glanced out from the kitchen to see Steve come inside.

"Hey, ba-" Eddie started, but Steve ignored him and ran for the bedroom, hood tight around his head. So Eddie wiped his hands and followed, knocking on the en suite bathroom door.

"Baby?" Eddie asked. "Can I come in?"

"No!" Steve hollered, voice thick with tears. "It's bad."

"Steve, baby," Eddie coaxed. "It can't be."

"It is. My usual stylist called out and they put me with someone new and she didn't listen to me and …"

"Baby, I bet you look amazing," Eddie said. "Let me in?"

A few moments later the bathroom door unlocked - Eddie pushed it open and found his boyfriend sitting on the bathroom floor, hoodie a puddle on the floor, his head in his hands.

Eddie sat down on the floor in front of Steve and took Steve's hands. Steve looked up and Eddie got his first look at Steve's hair - it was shorter than Steve normally wore it and Steve had clearly left before it could be styled, but it wasn't bad at all.

"Can I try something?" Eddie asked.

"kay," Steve mumbled.

Eddie kissed Steve's hands and then helped Steve up, sitting him on the toilet seat. He pressed a kiss to the top of Steve's head before rummaging around in the medicine cabinet for some hair product.

"It's not bad?" Steve asked.

"Not at all, baby," Eddie soothed as he got some product in his hands and started playing with Steve's hair (one of his favorite pastimes). "It's different, but it's not bad."

He finished fiddling with Steve's bangs and then kissed Steve's nose playfully.

"Hang tight, I'll be right back." Before Steve could protest, Eddie disappeared into the bedroom and came back a moment later with a creme colored shirt with navy polka dots. Steve meekly let Eddie help him change into the shirt and then blinked up at Eddie.

"Ready to see?" Eddie asked.

Steve gave a little nod. Eddie helped him to his feet and put him in front of the mirror, standing behind Steve and smiling at him.

"Oh," Steve murmured.

"See? Not bad at all," Eddie said. "It's a bit messy, very sexy."

"Yeah?" Steve leaned back against Eddie, smiling at his reflection.

"Mmmhmm," Eddie hummed. "Very sexy." A pause. "Wanna see how sexy?"

"What about the dishes?" Steve teased.

"They can wait," Eddie said. "Bedroom. Now."

Steve giggled and turned in Eddie's arms, giving him a kiss before hurrying to bed.

Eddie shook his head fondly as he stepped over the hoodie and headed to the bedroom. Sometimes it still surprised how un-King Steve his boyfriend was.

He was so lucky and so in love.

chaumas-deactivated20240115

dubiously friendly reminder that you need to own a first aid kit. yes even you.

chaumas-deactivated20240115

and a fire extinguisher yeah.

queeranarchism

Hot tip: these are excellent housewarming gifts. Doubly so if you're invited to the welcome party of a newly opened squat.

figtreeandvine

I find most consumer first aid kits to be useless. So I buy what I need:

Gauze pads and cotton swabs for cleaning wounds and cat ears.

Soap for cleaning wounds. Seriously, soap and water are the best choice most of the time.

Rubbing alcohol for disinfecting scratches, particularly from cats, roses, or blackberries. (I have an inflammation reaction to those three).

Bag Balm for minor scratches and badly chapped hands.

Petroleum jelly for hairballs and chapped paw pads (yeah, my first aid supplies include cat stuff).

Tegaderm HP for bandaging--clear film bandage that you leave on until healed, keeps wound clean and moist and scabs soft. Water, shower, swimming pool proof. Recommended by wound care nurse after my mother had large skin tear. Magical stuff!

Menstrual pads for direct pressure on severe bleeding wounds. Sterile, non-stick, absorbs blood. Also nice for guests.

Vet Wrap (bandage that sticks to itself but not skin or fur). Er, coban I think it's called in human medicine? Good protection over another bandage, especially Tegaderm. Keeps idiots from chewing on sutures. Can be used with a splint in a dire emergency, or to temporarily fix broken tent poles or pack-frames when I was backpacking regularly.

Nitrile gloves for working on people or critters who aren't myself. Also for fabric dyeing and wood finishing.

Albuterol inhaler for my asthma.

Afrin nasal decongestant spray for nose bleeds (learned this from my uncle on blood thinners).

Cortisone cream for insect bites and bee stings.

Benadryl tablets for ant bites--I'm allergic!

Tweezers. Good tweezers!

Pulse-ox meter to measure blood oxygen levels. Good for asthma, covid, and non-verbal post-stroke mothers with colds.

Thermometer.

Other thermometer that works on cats.

Steam humidifier for colds and flu.

urie

i looooooooove how annoying shane and ilya must be as the two best hockey players in the world just both of them being able to see the game at such an elite level and notice things no one else does and theyre basically speaking their own language to one another and saying things like "i dont even count a hat trick if its on an empty net if the goalie isnt there its NOT a real goal i think they should not count these" "absolutely if theres no challenge it isnt real" "exactlyyyyy" and they will say things like this in front of players who have Zero career hat tricks

urie

hayden is struggling in the postseason and says its bc he is "playing with a broken rib" and privately shane is thinking "okay but just one though jesus christ" and ilya is texting him like "is pike playing on severed legs" "broken rib" "ok???? just one????" and shane is like wow thank god finally someone who gets it

caralikesgay

hard launch this, soft launch that...has anyone written hollanov going full gaslighting with their coming out? just straight up going "we've been together for years? why are you acting like this is news?"

double points if they don't even plan to do it. they decide to soft launch via no longer actively hiding their relationship, just slowly acting more like a couple around other people. they're both at some event and ilya finds shane and just wraps his arm across his shoulders, which maybe that could just be ilya being ilya, but then shane just leans into it? like this is fine and normal? and when someone questions it shane panics and is just like "why wouldn't i? he's my boyfriend" and whoever they're talking to is like "what? since when?" and ilya is immediately onboard with this game "since 2017."

they just keep doubling down "you don't remember me sneaking out to go visit him every time we played in boston? you were all chirping me about it."

"wait, did you two drive here together?" "why would we take separate cars, we live together?" "you WHAT?"

when someone thinks they're joking they bring up the group chat with shane's parents, ilya scrolls back to a text where yuna calls him her favorite son. they bring up a video clip jackie sent of the twins saying "we love you uncle ilya!" shane brings up his thread with svetlana where she sends him russian words and phrases she thinks he should know.

they quickly enlist everyone who already knew, get them all onboard to pretend like their relationship wasn't ever top secret information. shane posts a picture of him with anya, when someone comments "that looks just like ilya rozanov's dog?" he just replies "yeah, we adopted her several months ago" and ilya replies "love our daughter ❤️"

the more people act like this is revelatory news the more they inisist that it's not. "we started a charity together!" "i moved to canada for him!" meanwhile everyone else is slowly losing their minds.

funstyle

i wanna smoke with cookie monster so bad.... greening out and he hits u with the "imagine....imagine what me do if moon was cookie.... just imagine" i would lose my freaking mindddd

funstyle

He would be looking out the window "you know what moon remind me of..... cookie" and i would be like DUDEEE.. WE SHOULD MAKE COOKIES and he would probably feel so loved

gayfrasier

i love the phrase "which could mean nothing" i think its my favorite thing to come out of the internet ever i love saying it. it could mean nothing but we all know better. we know the truth.